


The Heartbeat Beneath My Fingertips

by Lethargic_Pink



Series: Bring Me Home To You [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Decay, F/M, Fire, Fluff, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Identity Reveal, Manipulation, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Cuddling, Psychological Torture, Somewhere, THERES DEFINITELY FLUFF IN HERE, Temporary Character Death, additional relationships and characters may be added, eventually, miracuclass, or at least i think its fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 98,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethargic_Pink/pseuds/Lethargic_Pink
Summary: As Ladybug watched the scene before her unfold she remembered something she’d heard her papa say once when explaining how important watching the stove was.“Be careful to turn off the stove if you need to leave. Dying by fire is one of the worst ways to die.”After Chat Noir takes a terrible hit, Marinette finds herself comforted by the sound of her partner's heartbeat. What happens when she starts using her friend's heartbeats to sooth herself too and finds that a certain pair of blond boys have similar heartbeats?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Series: Bring Me Home To You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905874
Comments: 396
Kudos: 569





	1. Our Son

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings will be placed at the beginning of each chapter. When things become terribly graphic, <◉> will become -<◉>-.  
> At the end of the graphic section, -<◉>\- will return to <◉>. If there is no transition and there's a graphic scene, there will be -◉- as a warning. When the scene has moved on from the graphic depiction, there will be a ◉ to notify you. You can skip these parts if you begin to feel as if you can’t continue and there will be summaries at the end of each chapter on what was written during the graphic sections.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's been awhile!  
> This story idea has been bugging me so I started writing it but it's still a bit vague and I'm working on solidifying it.  
> This idea came about because I personally find people's heartbeats and my own comforting. Weird right?
> 
>  **WARNING:**  
>  Graphic depictions of a fiery death.

_… Thump… ba- thump… ba-thump… ba-thu..._

There was something comforting to the sound that pulsed in her ear, against her magically gloved arms, hands, stomach, back, feet. Even her sleep addled brain recognized it as such. 

Ladybug slowly lifted her head, feeling the pulse fade from hearing but still consistently beating everywhere else as she pulled away from what she had used as a pillow and saw that said pillow was actually Chat Noir’s chest. 

She blinked. Once. Twice. Making sure to check that she wasn’t still sleeping.

Before her, Chat Noir slept soundly on his back, the breeze lightly ruffling his golden locks. They were on a rooftop somewhere. It was night but the city still hummed beneath them with life, light touching almost every surface it could reach. She was on top of him, her left hand resting against his arm, her feet tangled with his, his right arm wrapped up around her waist.

She stumbled up in surprise, careful not to wake him. Immediately the pulse that had comforted her vanished and she found herself inexplicably missing his warmth, an anxiety building in her chest from the lack of both. Belatedly, she realized that the sound, the feeling, had been his pulse. 

Ladybug rubbed at her face, noticing the way her cheeks felt hot and how her eyes were somewhat crusty. She’d been crying. And that’s when she finally remembered what had happened, what they’d done to get into this situation.

-<◉>-

_With a strong push, Ladybug fell to the ground a foot or two from where she’d been before and looked up in time to see, once again, Chat Noir taking a hit for her._

_Usually she already disliked him doing that for her, but this time, this time he_ couldn’t _get hit_ . _This time, the akuma was far more deadly._

_The akuma’s shot connected, ravaging Chat as he stood firmly in front of her, keeping her out of the way of the blast._

_Our Son. That’s what the akuma called himself today. It was a cruel pun, one of the cruelest Hawkmoth had come up with yet. His skin was maroon red, his hair black and spiky. His eyes and the surrounding area looked as if he’d had soot thrown into them. The sclera were black, his iris a bright orange to match the puffy jacket he wore, and they were rimmed by smudgy black and grey in a sort of mask. His orange jacket had two horizontal stripes on them that reflected the light when he moved. It hung open and was constantly dripping off of him, yet even as it dripped like a melting candle, it never melted completely, more of whatever it was made of replacing the fallen globs of jacket. Beneath that, his body was blackened down to his feet, a single glowing orange stripe down the sides of his legs to clunky boots of the same orange material as the coat and were almost constantly on fire. In his hand was, oddly enough, a blackened bottle of virgin oil that spilled forth liquid fire._

_Hours earlier a fire had burned down a house, a young boy and mother barely escaping with their lives, the boy still in emergency care while the mother had only been injured lightly. It had been caused by the mother who, while cooking with oil, had accidentally flipped the stove knob to the high flame and then left the pan on the stove to answer what should have been a quick call. It had, obviously, not been a quick call. The oil had caught on fire, the fire had leapt up and touched the ceiling, then proceeded to burn the rest of the house._

_The mother had merely run out as she was on the first floor, her son had been out with his friends since breakfast and she hadn’t known he’d returned. But she quickly found he had after seeing his friend in front of the house. Her son was trapped up on the second floor. He had only gone to get a new toy to show it to his friend, believing he wouldn’t be long enough to have to tell his mother he was home._

_This man was the father. He believed that it was his wife’s fault that their son was in medical care, still not conscious._

_As she watched the scene before her unfold she remembered something she’d heard her papa say once when explaining how important watching the stove was._

_“Be careful to turn off the stove if you need to leave. Dying by fire is one of the worst ways to die.”_

_Fire spilled forth and rushed Chat after pushing her aside. The flames licked at him, immediately consuming him in it’s wrath. He screamed as his skin melted and burned beneath the heat of the magically created fire, but he refused to move, refused to let the fire reach her and she watched in horror as he burned with his desire to keep her safe._

_The scene would haunt her for all her life._

_The screams would echo in her nightmares and she would never forget the sight of him crumbling to the ground in a heap, still screaming as every nerve in his body was slowly, painfully, agonizingly, eaten away. She would never forget the terrible thought that had filled her head as his screams stopped tearing forth from his vocal chords, being reduced to nothing, and as he still_ continued _to writhe in pain. She never thought, never believed, she would ever wish for someone to die, but she had then._

_There was no way to help him, and all she wanted was for his pain to stop, and if the only way for that to happen was for him to die, she would wish it if only to save him from further torment._

_She never wanted to rely on her miraculous cure like this._

_Miserably she wished he would die sooner rather than later, so that he wouldn’t have to remember the pain after the fight, when her magic had miraculously woven him back together, physically healed, mentally scarred._

_She didn’t really want him to die, of course not, she was afraid that her cure wouldn’t even work, she always was, the fear that one day it might just give out on her constantly ate at her, but she thought it better than perpetual pain. It would be the lesser of the two evils._

_Unfortunately, she hated that it was unfortunate, his magical suit was prolonging his demise._

_All she could do was watch, unable to say anything, do anything, feel anything. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the horrible sight of her partner dying in front of her, couldn’t make herself look away, and like the flames that burned at his body, the sight burned itself into her mind, never to be forgotten, and with it the vow to_ never. ever. _let him take a hit like this again._ **Ever**.

_Finally, his body stopped moving, if what was left could even be called a body. Ladybug wanted to throw up. She inhaled deeply in an attempt to keep her lunch down._

_That was a mistake._

_The smell of burned Chat and smoke flooded her nostrils and burned it’s way down her throat to her lungs. She immediately turned and retched, unsuccessful in keeping anything in._

_After she finished throwing up, she turned to the akuma with tears in her eyes, wiping the remnants of lunch off her mouth with the back of her hand. The akuma stood frozen, almost lifeless with the telltale glow of a purple butterfly mask over his eyes. It seemed he was being chewed out by Hawkmoth and didn’t care one bit._

_Because this wasn’t in his favor, Hawkmoth kept Our Son from moving, allowing the weakened Ladybug to purify the akuma before throwing her hand up in the air and calling for the Miraculous Cure, making sure that never once she laid her eyes upon her fallen partner._

_After she saw the magical ladybugs shooting off in every direction, she shakily turned, her eyes shut. She didn’t want to see him again if he wasn’t alive and relatively okay. The ladybugs should have worked but she didn’t want to chance it. The image was already so engrained in her mind that she didn’t want anymore support._

_Right as she was about to open her eyes, though, trembling arms wrapped themselves around her and she could finally look up to see the shaking form of Chat Noir, alive, before her._

_He sobbed and she knew he remembered the pain, she wished he didn’t._

_Her hands reached up and clawed at his suit as she tried to force herself further into him. She buried her head in his chest and let only one sob wrack her body before the voice of a confused and terrified citizen made it to her ears. She reluctantly pulled away to see the man._

_He may not know all of how she felt, however, that man understood a vaguer version of what she had just experienced, it was his child in the fire after all. Wiping her tears, she walked out of the grasp of a Chat who seemed just as reluctant as she to break their contact._

_“It’s okay,” she told the man with a broken smile, “It’s not your fault. None of this is.” She could tell from the look in his eyes he knew he’d been akumatized, every victim had it. He nodded, but she could still see the guilt in his face. He didn’t know what he had done, but obviously it had been bad._

_She rested a hand on the slightly taller gentleman. “Really, it’s okay, there is nothing wrong with feeling upset about your child being hospitalized, just make sure you talk things through with your wife, okay? This is Hawkmoth’s fault, not yours.” The man solemnly nodded, seeming to take her for her word._

_Ladybug looked around and saw below that the authorities and ambulance with people designated to aid akuma victims had arrived. “Can you get down there yourself?” She asked, her voice calmer than her head. He nodded and walked to the door that led to the stairs of the building they were on._

_Finally, she turned back to her partner, tears immediately springing back into her eyes. He was waiting patiently for her to finish helping the victim but was still shaking, his face still ashen._

_She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. “Ohmygoshyoureokay!” She sobbed into him and his arms found their way around her again. They stood there, sobbing in each other’s arms for what felt like awhile before her earrings gave a soft beep. She didn’t want to leave._

_Instead, holding him close, she took out her yoyo and flung them both to another rooftop that was quieter, that didn’t have paramedics or authorities below._

_On another roof, they collapsed in a pile of limbs. Her earrings beeped again. Chat waited for her to let go, to say she needed to leave because he knew he wouldn’t let her go unless she asked to be, not even for the thought that his father would freak out or that he’d miss all his other responsibilities._

_Though he didn’t remember all of it, thank heavens, the pain of the first five minutes was fresh in his mind. After that his mind had started blocking it out. Still, those first five minutes were pure agony and he was sure he’d have nightmares of it. At least it hadn’t hit his Lady. Thank god it hadn’t hit his Lady._

_But even as her earrings began to beep frantically she didn’t move. Instead, as a flash of pink overcame her, she whispered in his ear, “Close your eyes.”_

_With his eyes shut he felt the shift of magic spandex to soft fabric on his chin that had been resting on her shoulder._

_He heard the shuffle of fabric, the crunch of her kwami eating a cookie, and then her quiet “Tikki, spots on.” He opened his eyes again and strengthened his grip around her, sure now in the belief that she wasn’t leaving any time soon._

<◉>

Tears welling in her eyes at the memories, she lowered herself back down onto him, laying her head against his heart again. She sighed as the sound filled her ears again. She didn’t care that it was dark, didn’t care that she’d missed the entire day, didn’t care that her parents would be worried, she didn’t want to leave this sound, this feeling, she didn’t want to leave the proof that he was still alive. She knew if she did she would wake up several times in the night to the sound of his phantom screams. Ladybug sighed, but she had to let him go home, even if she didn’t care at the moment, she knew she would later regret making her parents worry, and he had family waiting for him at home too, she couldn’t keep him to herself.

With great reluctance, she pulled herself up from him, leaving her hand in a place on his arm she could still clearly feel his heartbeat as she shook him awake. “Chat.” she called him to the waking world. He opened his eyes to a slit, glowing green focusing on her. “Hey Chaton, you gotta wake up now, we gotta go.” He sighed, slowly sitting up, causing her to let go. Her right hand reached for his wrist instead, still seeking for the comfort of his pulse. She really didn’t want to let go of him.

Chat Noir ran his right hand, the one she wasn’t holding onto, through his hair, across his cat ears. He scratched at his head for a second as he looked around, taking some time to remember what was going on like she had. 

After a moment of several emotions flitting across his face, he turned to her, pain evident in his eyes as he realized that they had to leave. He shut his eyes, reluctance rippling in the crease between his eyebrows, before opening them and nodding. 

They got up. She was still holding his wrist until he looked down questioningly and she quickly dropped it. Backing away slowly with an awkward smile, she waved goodbye and zipped away, leaving a somewhat confused Chat behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the akuma was a bit bad but I needed something that was mortally dangerous and I came up with fire, then I thought of arson and knowing how Gabriel likes to pun as much as our cat, I asked myself what kind of pun can be made out of this? And the terrible akuma was born!  
> If you have any comments on what I could do better with, feedback or speculation, I'd love to hear!  
> Hope you enjoyed! <3
> 
> Summary:  
> An akuma known as Our Son has fire powers. While facing off against Our Son, to protect Ladybug, Chat Noir takes a deadly hit and dies a horrific fiery death which is sure to haunt both of them forever. Our Son is defeated and Chat Noir is resurrected, but the emotional scars are irrevocable.


	2. Bunsen Burner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for so much support! I've loved reading the comments you've left for me.  
> I've decided since I don't know how long of a story this one will be, unlike the random updating I did for Saving You, I'll be putting this one on a schedule. It's my first time trying this so I think I'll go with a Wednesday, Friday schedule and depending how well this story goes, I might add Monday in but we'll see how that works out on Monday.  
> Today we'll be seeing the immediate effects of Our Son!  
> I hope you enjoy!

As the universe would have it, Marinette Dupain-Cheng _did_ end up having nightmares after going to bed. It was just replay of the memories running on loop. 

Sighing as she got up for the third time within the hour, she decided to forego any further attempts on sleep.

When she had gotten home earlier that night, her parents were of course in frantics trying to find out what had happened to her. After saying she’d gotten caught in the earlier akuma attack, though it had been five hours ago, they let her go. They could see the exhaustion in her face, the redness that rimmed her bloodshot eyes, the rattiness of her normally well kept hair, and decided not to question it. 

Marinette had collapsed onto her bed after getting to her room, not even _trying_ to work on what little homework she’d gotten from school that day. She was too tired. 

At that time she had just fallen asleep, but after hours of the horrific replay of Chat’s fiery execution, she gave up trying to rest and decided that she’d be more successful with her homework. 

Flipping her lamp on, she stumbled down to her desk and started working, passing a snoozing Tikki on her way. 

She stayed up the rest of the night like that, studying, and when she’d completed her homework, she got to work on a commission she’d received from Jagged Stone. 

Before she knew it, her first alarm was going off, telling her she needed to get ready for school. She sighed as she got up, the sun just barely spilling into the sky. 

Marinette didn’t even need to look into the mirror to know that she was a mess.

She breathed in deeply, feeling the air stretch her somewhat stiff lungs before dredging up some energy to get ready, to socialize and go to school like nothing was wrong, like nothing had happened yesterday, like Chat _hadn’t_ died a terrible death, like she was a normal girl with a normal life, even if that was the very opposite of what she was. 

She almost laughed at the phrase. 

Once upon a time she had used that phrase to convince herself, she’d continued to believe it even when she was transforming into a superhero to go save Paris from a _magical butterfly man_. Even though she’d thought of herself with that phrase for a long time after receiving the miraculous, it hadn’t been true since that first transformation. 

She wasn’t normal. Hadn’t been for a long time. You can’t describe what happened yesterday as normal.

With great effort, after completing her makeup and making herself look like a functioning human being, she put a smile on and ran down the stairs to greet her wide eyed parents. Marinette was always late, it was a rare occurrence she was down in the kitchen for breakfast at a decent time. Yet here she was. 

The bakery was going to be busy today. 

Marinette practically bounced down the steps and into her chair at the table with a bright smile. “Good morning!” She beamed. 

She realized she may be laying it on a little thick but if she didn’t put more umph into it there was no way she’d be able to smile. 

Tom chuckled, easily influenced by her cheer, “Good morning cupcake. What’s got you up so early?” He divied up a share of breakfast for her and brought their plates to the table while Sabine filled a cup of green tea for the girl, waiting for her answer. 

“Oh nothing much, guess I just slept well.” Marinette hoped that her parents forgot about how she was last night. 

Tom and Sabine settled into their chairs and began to eat, Marinette following suit though she could take some time to enjoy it a bit more today. She had the feeling this was not the last time she would be spending her mornings like this. Not until she forgot that scene and she sincerely doubted that would happen.

“So,” Sabine started, Marinette’s heart dropped and her face began to pale no matter how she might try to fight it. She was going to ask about last night wasn’t she? It was suddenly a struggle to keep the smile on her face. There was a pause before Sabine continued “Do you have any plans with your friends today?” _Of course_ , Marinette almost breathed a quiet sigh of relief, _Maman is very tactical, how could I forget?_

Marinette looked at her maman, trying to keep from stretching her smile so it wouldn’t look fake, “Not that I know of! I’ll let you know if we decide to do something.” Sabine nodded. 

She tried hard to enjoy her food after that, but she just wanted to get up and do something, she didn’t want to stay put any longer. So she finished her breakfast up and rinsed her plate before leaving with a hug and kiss for her maman and papa. She cheerfully waved goodbye to them and walked out of the bakery as they began to open shop for the day.

The moment she was out of sight, Marinette let her face fall. She tiredly rubbed at the muscles already becoming stiff and sore from continually smiling. She wondered briefly how Adrien did it. Marinette tried hard to take her time getting to school. She was reluctant to get there and put the smile back on for her friends, but she lived almost right across from the school, there was no way to make it take up a ton of time. 

Marinette caught Alya and Nino chatting in front of the school and walked up, already pasting a smile on. “Hey Nino! Alya!” 

The couple turned to Marinette in surprise. 

After a second, Alya’s mouth twitched up in that familiar smile, hand already on hip. 

“Hey girl! Are roosters gonna lay eggs today? What’s got you up so early?” 

A small amount of sincerity slipped into Marinette’s smile and she relaxed a little. “Nothing, I just went to bed earlier than normal.” Technically it wasn’t a lie.

“Yeah right, I’ll believe you for now.” Alya joked with an eye roll. 

Marinette was just beginning to fit into the conversation and feel a bit more normal when Adrien charged up the steps with a tired gait. 

“Hey man!” Nino greeted. The bell rang when he reached them. Marinette realized then that _she was earlier than Adrien_. Wow. She didn’t think she got up that early, but then again, as she looked over him, he looked about as tired as she felt. She wondered if maybe he hadn’t slept well either. 

The four walked into the school and settled into their seats as the bell rang and Mlle Bustier walked in.

“Good morning class!” and school began.

<◉>

School went relatively well considering the fact that Marinette had gotten little sleep the night before and was rather tired. She just wanted the day to continue it’s slow pace, but of course there was no way that was going to happen. 

Of course.

When Marinette got into Mme Mendeliev’s class she was greeted with an odd assortment of chemicals and, something her eyes immediately zeroed in on: a flame. They were having a lab that had to do with fire. Of course they were, cause there was _no one_ who would have a science lab that involved fire after a fire akuma. No one, but apparently Mme Mendeliev. 

Of. Freaking. _Course_. 

Marinette could already feel the anxiety building in her chest. 

She may not have been the one burning but, somewhat without her conscious realization, she had gained a fear of fire. Immediately she was already hearing the ghost screams of her partner and smelling the fumes of his burning body. She hated that she remembered even the smell so well. 

Thankfully, her grimace and suddenly pale pallor was not unusual. Many other students took one look at the open flame on Mendeliev’s desk, noticed the similar devices on each of their tables, and grimaced as well.

When the akuma appeared, Ladybug and Chat Noir had showed up fast enough that Our Son had only hit a few people and some buildings before they’d started their fight, so thankfully there were little casualties and several injured, none of the victims related to anyone here, but everyone knew how Chat, one of the heroes and guardians of the city, had been hit. 

Some stations had been live streaming at the time, however soon after Chat had caught on fire, they’d shut them off and whatever videos had made their way to the internet were quickly taken down. Unlike Marinette, everyone had looked away from Chat’s burning body, so no one had seen the misery first hand besides her, a few slow reporters, and Hawkmoth. 

She was gonna murder that butterfly man the moment she got her hands on him for that akuma. 

Even though people had looked away, no one could keep themselves from Chat’s horrific cries. 

Marinette vaguely noticed how, though many of her peers had been affected by the sight of fire, Adrien had turned green and looked as if he might hyperventilate. She could relate even if she didn’t know what might have caused his reaction to be so severe. 

She looked to Nino and Alya who had both, unlike many others in the class, seen at least the beginnings of Chat Noir’s misery as Alya had, like usual, been reporting the fight, dragging a reluctant Nino along out of worry for her safety. If Marinette hadn’t known the context she would’ve found it hilarious how their warm skin had gone so pale they could’ve been ghosts.

Marinette tried to contain her anxieties as she sat down at her station followed by Adrien, Alya, and Nino as it seemed that this lab was a four person thing. They looked to Mme Mendeliev, everyone making an effort to not look at the bunsen burner, who seemed unaffected by the flame before her and was looking at the class questioningly. It seemed _someone_ hadn’t heard the news yet. 

Dismissing the class’s strange mood, Mendeliev began instructing the lab and its connection to their current unit. 

Marinette and the rest of the class continued to listen, eventually getting up and getting safety goggles and plastic gloves, unsure if they should notify the teacher. Unlike the rest of the class who were merely uncomfortable, Marinette and her friends could only get to when they flicked the burner on. 

The flame danced before them, controlled yet still seductively dangerous, and within the shadows it cast, Marinette could see the form of her partner falling apart. The faint scent of a gas fueled fire morphed into the wretched smell that she was beginning to believe was just clinging to her like a disease. The hum of uncomfortable students and the minimal chatter that had tentatively started up silenced by the whisper of screams.

Marinette gulped, her throat scratching, feeling as if it was made of sandpaper and she was swallowing ash. Her body felt cold and frozen, unable to tear itself out of the fear induced trance she’d succumbed to.

And suddenly it was all too much. 

The way the memories overlapped with real life, the way the scene of the night before clung to her, the way Alya was beginning to look at her strangely despite her own queasy gut, and she found herself standing, goggles torn off her face and in her gloved hands, her chair clattering to the ground. But oddly enough, the sound doubled. 

When she looked over to see the source of the second clatter, her eyes met haunted green ones, wide with fear. Adrien’s face was pale, almost grey, and his skin was sheen with sweat. Somehow, Marinette felt that that’s what she looked like. 

Without a second glance or an explanation to anyone, they ran out the door and only separated to enter their respective bathrooms. On her way out, she heard a single brave student begin to explain everyone else’s off reactions. Alya could tell her anything else she needed to know later, but at the moment, she needed to get to the restroom where she could break down, throw up, cry, she didn’t quite know. She just knew she needed privacy.

The moment Adrien had gotten into the boy’s restroom, he’d yanked one of the stall doors open and promptly threw up, faint touches of fire brushing across his skin, reminding him of what had happened yesterday.

Marinette, though not knowing what she’d do, also threw up, and then proceeded to sob on the floor, leaning against the stall walls, tearing off the purple blue gloves that’d grown uncomfortable and only reminded her of her magic suit. 

Tikki had come out of hiding and had begun to comfort her charge, Plagg doing the same for Adrien. No matter how un-Plagg-like or bad he was at it, there was no way he was just gonna let his kit deal with this on his own.

He rubbed small circles on the back of Adrien’s shoulder as the boy continued to retch, looking longingly at the wall that separated him and Tikki, Marinette and Adrien. Things would be so much easier if they would just stop dancing around each other. They could definitely comfort each other during moments like these.

Marinette took small solace in the cool metal of the bathroom stall, sobs turning to whimpers, and inexplicably wished for nothing more than the reassuring sound of Chat’s heartbeat. There was no rationality to it. She knew her partner was alright, though doubts crept up on her if she paused. He could have possibly died between today and yesterday. It was possible that her Miraculous Cure hadn’t fixed him all the way or maybe had only temporarily. She softly knocked her head against the steel partition to rid her mind of the silly worries, ignoring a voice whispering _“what if they’re not?”_

He was alive. He was fine and she was being ridiculous. But even as she knew how irrational the thoughts were, she could not shake them until she saw him. Like this, after finally getting back to class, Adrien following soon after, she psyched herself out and worried endlessly throughout the rest of the day, ignoring her friends’ concerned glances and, like Adrien, not speaking on how she burst out of the classroom.

<◉>

The day seemed to drag on the more she waited for it to pass. 

She needed to see Chat. 

Luckily, they had shared patrol scheduled tonight. 

She tore herself away from familial duties as soon as she could, foregoing even dinner, saying she was busy with a project and would be eating in her room. Her parents promised not to interrupt, used to sudden bouts of creativity that would have their daughter locking herself up in her room. 

Though it was about an hour or two earlier than normal, she spotted her partner immediately, pacing across their meeting place rooftop. Ladybug wondered vaguely how long he must have been waiting but the thought was soon overtaken by the sheer relief she felt at seeing him. 

Touching down a few feet from him, she practically tumbled into his arms, desperately clinging to the warm body that was very much alive. She felt the continuous beat and pulse of his heart beneath her contact and she relaxed even further into his arms.

 _Not dead not dead. He’s not dead_.

She had known her fears to be irrational but they still held a vice grip around her heart and its strength only grew whenever she accidentally remembered yesterday. 

<◉>

For Adrien, when he held her in his arms he had assured himself that yes, yes he was alive and no, he was not hurt. Several times throughout the day had he felt the phantom pains of burns. The night before he’d woken up after a nightmare had forced him to relive the feeling of burning alive but this time he remembered what happened after the first five minutes and everything was so clear that when he’d woken up he had torn all his clothes off and run to the mirror just to be sure that there really weren’t any burns. 

At first he saw himself, perfectly healthy albeit frightened, but then his vision had clouded, changing his visage into an image of rotting flesh burned away to reveal black bones, skin and muscle bubbling and melting in mauve and black patches. He’d screamed at the sight, falling back and hitting the tile harsh enough it left his arms numb. He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, telling him by touch that what he was seeing wasn’t real. 

Fearfully he’d removed his hands and looked into the mirror again to find himself, thankfully, in one piece. Of course, because even if he died yesterday, his Lady had cast her miraculous cure and so he was fine. 

He was fine. 

Wasn’t he? 

He hadn’t been able to sleep the rest of the night and didn’t bother trying. He’d tried to forget everything when he went to school, Nino and his memes being a great help, but then he went to Mendeliev’s class and _that_ , that had sucked.

Looking into the burning flame, even knowing that it wasn’t on him or in fact anywhere near him, had left him feeling as if he was in the midst of it. He had barely been able to keep himself together when he finally had enough strength to stand up, seeing Marinette getting up as well. He’d felt a small amount of consolation for not being the only one to feel sick after looking into a small flame.

He had a poorer time acting like nothing had happened the rest of the day. He would often flinch at surprise phantom pains and would start to freak out if the room was a little too warm. It was so bad that Nino had caught onto his strange behavior and had begun questioning him. He’d had a lot of trouble avoiding the questions and Adrien wasn’t sure how long he could put the matter off for. 

Nino had picked up a terrible habit from Alya of looking into something that had caught his attention and was only fueled when he was worried about his friend’s well being. It was terrible because of Adrien’s secret identity, otherwise Adrien wouldn’t have minded so much.

The pain, the memory, was starting to drive Adrien crazy and he was finding himself craving Ladybug’s reassuring presence more and more, because if she was there then things would be fine. She was strong. Brave. Surely she could fight off the nightmares that were slowly beginning to plague him in reality. 

He greedily took in the flowery smell of her; lavender, peony, rose, a hint of something warm and sweet mixing in. He nuzzled his face in her midnight hair and pulled her as close to him as possible, thankful that she was allowing this and not realizing how she needed to know he was alive as much as he did. Her warmth, unlike everything else, was comforting.

They stood like that for awhile and even when they broke for patrol, they stayed close together and Ladybug never let go of his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what'd you think?  
> Any comments, speculation, feedback are always welcome!  
> Thanks for reading! <3  
> Next time we'll be looking at things through Alya's perspective!


	3. Something's Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!!  
> I ended up being able to do a Monday upload!  
> Thank you all again for the support and comments! It really helps my inspiration.  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter too! <3

Alya had been there to see the akuma battle. 

Nino had tried to stop her like he always did and followed her when she’d run off anyways like she always did.

Why hadn’t she let Nino talk her out of this one?

It’d been gruesome to say the least. She’d made sure to turn the camera away from the scene immediately, but her eyes had stayed on Chat Noir’s burning form for a moment longer before she shut them. 

She had not been prepared for the screams. But why wouldn’t he scream when he was being burned to death? 

Alya was a strong young woman, she didn’t need a guy to support her when the going got tough, but Chat’s screams were so horrific she had cowered into the arms of her boyfriend. In response, he had pulled her close, almost protectively enveloping her in himself, becoming a shell as much as he could, but he couldn’t block out that awful sound.

Alya hoped Ladybug would be able to save him quickly, end the terrible screams and Chat’s evident suffering, but the sound had continued for several more minutes. 

When Alya had checked her video later as she hadn’t realized it was still live streaming, she found that he hadn’t been screaming for several more minutes, but rather fifteen.

It tore at Alya’s heart hearing it, made her feel inexplicably like _she_ was the one burning as just the sound was enough to _feel_ his pain. She wondered how Ladybug must feel if this is how bad it was hurting _her_? She wasn’t even looking! She didn’t have to look, unlike the red and black-spotted clad hero who needed her eyes open to fight the akuma and save Chat.

When the screams had ended, Alya opened her eyes expecting Ladybug to have saved Chat, she didn't yet know how long he’d been screaming after all. It had all become one large blur with only the wretched sound that had torn from his throat and that wasn’t exactly a reliable timer. But then she was greeted with the sight of Chat Noir on the ground, still on fire and suffering with Ladybug sitting less than a foot away, frozen and silent. The smoke his body made filled and darkened the sky, the soul of destruction itself threatening to choke the light out of the world in retaliation for losing its incarnate. 

Alya tried to call to Ladybug, tried to bring her back from her state of shock, but it didn’t work and Chat Noir continued to burn for several more minutes until all that was left was a large, blackened shape. The fire becoming nothing but embers. 

_Then_ Ladybug started to stir. She threw up. Alya wanted to do the same and after glancing at Nino, it seemed he too shared the sentiment.

In all that time, Our Son, terrible name -seriously Hawkmoth? _Seriously_?- hadn’t moved, and even from a distance Alya could make out the tell tale light of Hawkmoth’s control. 

She was glad that for once the damn villain had some reason.

Ladybug got up, wobbly walked over, took the olive oil out of Our Son’s hand, and let it fall to the ground, the impact shattering it.

With a little less enthusiasm, Ladybug cast her Miraculous Cure, and like always, it fixed everything, even bringing Chat Noir back, but Ladybug refused to look at him.

He’d stood there for a moment, only staring at his Lady, before he stumbled towards her and wrapped his arms around her. Opening her eyes, she looked up at him in such relief and affection that Alya’s knees went weak. And they burst into tears, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it, tears fell down her cheeks as well.

Alya didn’t want to stay on the fire escape they’d climbed for a good shot anymore, what she was witnessing was too personal, too intimate, too heartbreaking, and quickly rushed down it, Nino fast behind her. 

Running home, she noticed her phone still recording. She made note to take the video down when she got home.

That night she stayed up late on a phone call with Nino before knocking herself out with her mom’s drink concoctions that helped with sleep in hopes she wouldn’t dream. 

It was with gratitude that she awoke the next morning with no memory of a dream or nightmare. 

When she got to the school and found Nino already waiting for her out front, they both agreed to act like normal as much as they could. Neither of them wanted to remember or focus on the previous day anyways. 

Soon, Marinette walked up the steps, a smile on her face though it seemed a little odd. No it wasn’t quite her smile but the way she held herself. Her shoulders were tense and her knuckles were white from their tight grip on her bag strap. It surprised Alya that her best friend had been able to get up on time that morning but it always surprised her when her friend managed to get out of the house normally. So why did it feel like something important today?

Staying true to her agreement with Nino to act as normally as possible, she smiled in response. “Hey girl! Are roosters gonna lay eggs today? What’s got you up so early?” 

The smile relaxed. Had it been tense before? Her shoulders also drooped a bit but remained stiff, her hand loosened enough to no longer be holding her bag in a vice grip. “Nothing, I just went to bed earlier than normal.” 

It didn’t seem like a lie… but Alya knew that just going to bed a bit earlier did _not_ help Marinette one bit. Marinette wasn’t a morning person, plain and simple, and it was often for good reason that the girl was up on time. Maybe it had something to do with Adrien. Another plan or something.

 _Maybe it had something to do with yesterday's akuma?_ Her mind provided darkly. She shoved the thought away. She didn’t want to think about yesterday. 

“Yeah right, I’ll believe you for now.” she joked, rolling her eyes. 

They started to continue their discussion about the new update for Ultimate Mecha Strike when Adrien pulled up to the curbside and left his car. 

That boy may have impeccable makeup skills after being a model all these years and can hide his visible exhaustion but when he’s really tired he _cannot_ hide his slow movements and half lidded eyes that almost refused to stay open but somehow still did. Maybe he could usually hide those things from other people, maybe even Nathalie and Gabriel because, come on, that man barely ever paid actual attention to his son, but after being relatively close friends for the past three years she knew a few things about how sunshine child works. If she messed up her analysis, it would be Nino who could pick up most, if not all the little signals the blond gave and one look at her boyfriend’s concerned face told her she was right. 

He got to the step they were on and was only able to utter a small, “Hey guys.” with a tired half smile before the five minute warning bell rang and ushered them to class.

They ran to the locker room, got their stuff, and headed to first period. Whatever was up with Mari and sunshine child, she’d have to find out later if she didn’t want her grades to slip. She needed time for the LadyBlog and that’s really hard to have when you have makeup work to do.

<◉>

Alya had been talking to Marinette, Nino and Adrien a few feet behind in their own chat, when they’d entered Mme Mendeliev’s class. 

Alya, who had been checking her phone about a notification when they’d walked in, looked up when she heard something like choking. She hadn’t seen who it was that had made the sound though, because before she could look at them, her eyes had found the flame sitting on Mendeliev’s table at the front of the classroom and only a few feet from them. 

Her blood drained from her face. She almost dropped her phone at the sudden emotional whiplash she felt just at _seeing_ an open flame. It wasn’t even _that big_ and yet it felt like her insides were being replaced by the dark smoke she’d seen blocking out the sky yesterday. 

Alya took a long shaky breath, almost coughing on nothing, to compose herself, Nino already by her side, sensing her discomfort despite his own. 

He was always so kind and receptive to how the people around him were feeling, it was one of the reasons she’d ended up falling for him. Really helped her see the bigger picture.

They sat at their table, Marinette looking queasy and Adrien as if he might pass out, all keeping their eyes from the bunsen burners. 

Eventually all the students were reluctantly sitting at each of their labs with instructions, many wondering if they really should be doing this. Should someone get up and tell Mme Mendeliev? If so, then who should be the one to tell her? Did she really not know about the akuma or is she messing with them? Why? Mendeliev, though not always the most agreeable, was not a _bad_ person.

They were finally at the step where they needed to use the bunsen burner. 

Alya, daring as she was, was the one to reach out to the switch. Her hand hovered near it as she looked at Nino, Adrien, and Marinette’s faces to see their reactions. 

Nino looked uncertainly to her, Adrien resembled a fearful animal about ready to run for it, Marinette seemed frozen, worrying at her lip, eyes glued to the spot where the flame would soon exist. 

Alya closed her eyes, took a breath, readied herself, and flipped the switch. 

The events that followed really only took a few seconds, thirty at most, but it felt like so much longer.

At first, Alya’s eyes had been captured by the menacing glow, threatening to send her down the terror of memories she was barely containing, but she’d heard a loud, painful gulp, distracting her from her possible nightmarish memory lane. Her gaze broke, sweeping upwards, over pink and grey and white, until finally they rested upon wide blue orbs and Alya finally saw that day just how much of her exhaustion her friend had hidden. 

Not even the makeup Marinette had put on that day could hide her pale face and deep bruises sleeping beneath her large eyes. Her face seemed to have sunken and crumbled, as if she was dying just by looking into the flame. What reflected in her terrified eyes though, that was no small flame, it was a forest fire that consumed all in its wake leaving nothing but death and decay behind. It was such a haunted visage that it caused Alya to shudder.

She turned to Nino for aid, what was she to do to help her friend? But Nino wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at Adrien.

If Marinette had scared her before, Adrien terrified her. 

He seemed to be screaming in agony and yet there was no sound. His skin had lost all color and obtained a pale grey shade with a sheen from cold sweat. His normally vibrant green eyes were wide, clouded, and dull from terrors untold. His lips pressed into a thin line as if that was all that was keeping back a torrent of screams. His shoulders trembled, his nails dug into the table. He almost seemed to have stopped breathing. 

Marinette looked as if she was dying, but Adrien?

He looked like he was already dead. 

Alya had only blinked when suddenly both Adrien and Marinette were out of their seats, their goggles in their hands.

They turned to each other and it was like watching someone looking in a mirror for the fear in their eyes and scratched across their expressions reflected one another, copying the other’s perfectly and it seemed as if they understood something in each other then that no one else could. Then they turned, dropping their goggles to the floor, perfectly in sync, and ran out the door, leaving a silent classroom behind.

A student stood up, drawing all attention.

“Mme Mendeliev,” their voice shook, Mendeliev directed her glare at them since the ones who had disrupted the class first weren’t there to receive it.

“There was a fire akuma yesterday.” They gulped as Mendeliev’s gaze sharpened. 

“C-Chat Noir died.”

Mendeliev’s anger drained from her face, replaced with sympathy for a split second before it was schooled into a careful coolness expected of a teacher. Though as she tried, she could not completely hide the underlying worry for the city’s two heroes.

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t heard. I was busy with an… experiment yesterday and hadn’t left my house.” Alya had been wondering about why she wasn’t at school yesterday. Guess that answered that. 

Mme Mendeliev cleared her throat before turning to her desk. “As it is likely that you all will be unable to concentrate on the lab and be more likely to hurt yourselves, we will be doing the worksheet I had planned for tomorrow.” She brought out a small stack of papers and had a couple of students pass them out.

As the new assignment was being passed out, Alya released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and collapsed in relief, her head falling to the desk. “Thank goodness.” She muttered. 

Nino reached over and turned off the bunsen burner before pulling his goggles and gloves off and placing his bare hand on her back. 

She turned her head to look at him, feeling oddly exhausted and like she’d had a few years shaved off her life. He offered a weak smile. 

Alya sat up, taking her safety measures off as well, and scooted her chair over to lean into him, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

When the papers were passed out and Mendeliev had turned to the chalkboard to start teaching the subject, Alya sighed and looked up to Nino. What just happened, with Adrien and Marinette, seemed odd, it would be strange if she _didn’t_ find it odd. 

“You realize that something’s up, right?” she asked quietly so as not to draw Mme Mendeliev’s attention. Nino nodded.

“I mean, _we_ were there to see Chat Noir… _you know_ , and they _weren’t_ , but their reaction was so much worse than ours,” she hesitated to voice her opinion. What had happened in the past 24 hours must’ve messed her up more than she’d thought because she never hesitated to share an opinion. 

Recognizing this, she continued on, “Nino, it looked as if they’d _died_. You don’t have that sort of reaction from just hearing… hearing Chat Noir scream. They’re not telling us something, Nino.” 

He nodded again.

“Something that they haven’t been telling us about for a long time and they obviously need to.” Alya stared into Nino’s eyes with what he called her reporter look.

He turned to look the other way and sighed, bringing the hand he didn’t have wrapped around her up to the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up, to squeeze it for a second before letting his left hand fall to his side again. 

“Fine fine, I get it, stop looking at me like that, I’ll look into it okay?” He looked back down into her eyes. She loved the golden hue of them. They were like pools of amber and she almost melted in them whenever they turned to look at her. “You know I can’t resist you right?”

She grinned up at him, he was trying to sound annoyed, but the affection slipped into his voice. Her eyes twinkling with mischief, “I know.” Then she sat up and turned to the worksheet before her. 

“We gotta get working on this so that they have something to reference when they get back.”

Nino leaned his elbow onto the desk, hand cupping his chin. “Ugh, work.” 

Alya hid a giggle and started writing down answers, she _would_ learn the answer to this mystery later.

<◉>

Why couldn’t she find out the answer?! 

Alya banged her head on the desk a few times. From in front of her, Nino reached up to stop her from hurting herself. 

“Look,” he said, “I know that they’re not being very cooperative, but it’s obviously something important, you can’t expect them to immediately open up about it. Give them some time and they’ll come around.” 

Alya sat up, resting her head in her hands with a sigh. She knew he was right, she _knew_ , but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

Ever since she’d come back, Marinette had refused to even acknowledge she’d run out and Adrien was even less willing to say anything. Whenever either Nino or Alya said anything, they’d immediately shut down and try their best to change the subject, and gosh darn it they’d gotten really good at that. When had they gotten so good at that?

Sure it was possible they just didn’t want to talk about running out of class because it was embarrassing, but it wasn’t just that, it was like every time anything about the science lab or even fire was mentioned, they would evade like they were trying to forget something.

And what made things even more suspicious was how Adrien would get jumpy and irritated randomly throughout the day. Nino said that Adrien had complained of it being stuffy the first time. 

Something was obviously wrong. Why wouldn’t either talk about it then?! They were friends weren’t they?!!

“Argh!!!” Alya’s head slammed down onto the desk again, causing a dull sting to throb on her forehead which in turn made her recoil a little. She sighed in frustration and shifted so that her face wasn’t on the desk anymore but she was still resting on it with a pout. Marinette and Adrien would be back from lunch soon. 

“Fine.” she practically growled. “Don’t wanna talk? We won’t talk.”

Nino shook his head and faced forward, watching as the others streamed into the classroom, Adrien coming in near the end of the line and Marinette running in right before class was to start, huffing and leaning a hand on the door frame, just as she would every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the newest chapter!  
> Special thanks to Bex_is_a_Slytherin for asking about Mme Mendeliev and if she would apologize! I really hadn't thought to have another scene with Mendeliev until then.  
> If you have any questions, feedback or speculation, please leave a comment! <<3
> 
> Next chapter: Alya runs into some trouble.


	4. Mania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I am so sorry to all the previous commenters from this chapter!!!!  
> I lost this chapter and unfortunately I deleted the draft of it after posting so the notes will only contain what I remember of them but the story should be the same. I'm so glad I at least have a backup.  
> Thank you to AnimeDeviant022, Bex_is_a_Slytherin, and Constance_Truggle for the comments. I still have them in my email. I am so sorry that you lost your comments!!  
> I'll now post what I had before. I am so so sorry.  
> Just a warning, I did not have this beta read.
> 
>  **WARNING**  
>  Vague depiction of rotting alive. Not quite enough to be graphic and warrant a summary. If someone thinks differently, please notify me.
> 
> [Edited 19/11/20]

Marinette walked up to Nino after inching away from the approaching Alya who was glaring daggers at Marinette. “Uh, Nino? Why is Alya angry at me?”

Nino sighed. It’d been two days since the Bunsen Burner Incident and three since Our Son. It was now Friday and Alya had stopped talking to both Marinette and Adrien. Adrien had come up to him yesterday asking about Alya. 

<◉>

_Adrien timidly walked up to Nino while nervously glancing over to Alya who sat behind him in her seat waiting for class to start. “Hey Nino? Did I do something to make your girlfriend angry? Does-does she not like me anymore?”_

_The way he stood_ screamed _‘insecure’ and Nino hurt by the idea that even after hanging out with them for three years, he still couldn’t get away from the thought that people he was close to would abandon him without a second thought. Nino thought that they’d gotten past this already._

_He smiled up at him, shaking his head, “No no, dude, she’s just a bit upset, she’ll calm down soon and if she doesn’t I’ll talk to her.”_

_Adrien sagged in relief and gave Nino a relieved smile, “Thanks. I was worried I’d done something.”_

_“Naw, you’re good, she just needs some time to calm down.”_

_Adrien sat down beside Nino and started taking out his materials._

<◉>

Nino was surprised Marinette had waited so long, but he supposed she must have spent the time trying various things to not only find out why Alya wasn’t talking, but also get her to start talking again. It seems that it took two days for Marinette to exhaust her Alya placation resources and run out of ideas as to what she’d possibly done wrong.

He sighed.

“No, sorry, she’s not explicitly angry at you ‘Nette. You just happen to be what she’s taking her anger out on. It’s been a couple of days, so I can probably convince her to calm down now.” Marinette nodded in understanding. Both she and Nino knew how stubborn Alya could get and how she usually needed some time before she’d start to consider an idea she’d previously rejected. 

While everyone prepared for school to start, Nino prepared to face Alya. It was always a somewhat frightful experience challenging Alya, similar to nearing a tiger, but in the past few years after meeting him, she’d calmed incredibly so that it was no longer as hard as it had once been. Nevertheless, Nino always tried to maximize his success each time so he needed to plan out what he’d say. Alya was fire. If he wasn’t careful, she’d burn him. 

It was just when he thought of this that Alya decided to walk in. He was immediately swallowed up in the warm pool of her eyes and his previous thoughts caused him to blush involuntarily. 

Yep, definitely fire. Oh he was so going to burn, and he didn’t think he’d mind.

<◉>

It was lunchtime when they both finally had time for him to convince Alya. 

“Al, I think you should put this silent treatment to a rest.” He’d started, preparing for a small amount of resistance considering how her chin was tilted up, her crossed arms, and her feet that were planted at the same width as her shoulders. 

She sighed, and dropped her fighting stance, her arms falling to her side and her feet shifting to bring them both together.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Nino had not expected such little resistance. He supposed he must have underestimated her growth. He had thought up plenty of reasons why she should stop but was grateful he wouldn’t have to go through all of them if she was going to let it go so easily. 

“You know why you should stop right?” He wanted to make sure her heart was in the right place. 

“Yeah. If they don’t want to talk about it, I should give them some space and let them come to me when they’re ready.” She summarized everything perfectly. Nino was feeling quite proud that she’d realized this so quickly and on her own. Even a year ago she would have needed several more days and he would have to explain it to her. If she continued to grow like this and recognize the feelings of those around her, she would be an amazing reporter. 

“It’s just hard!” She exclaimed. “It’s hard seeing them like this and not being able to do anything because I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s even harder to be patient because I want to know what’s up but I know that I’ll only hurt them if I bug them about it too much.” 

Nino understood quite well how hard it could be, but he’d also learned how it’s more important to wait. It made Nino warm with happiness that she was thinking about it. He smiled at her. It was a soft, sweet smile that caught her attention immediately, halting her growing frustration. 

“I know, but we’ve just got to wait and I’m sure that when they decide to talk to us about it, it’ll have been worth it. For now though, you’ve gotta go start talking to them again and apologize. Adrien was freaking out and you even got Marinette worried.” Alya nodded, a light of determination flickering into her eyes. 

It was always that look that excited him. He knew when she got like that there was nothing that could get in her way and it awed him. 

The problem with that at the moment though was that both Adrien and Marinette were already at home for lunch and it’d be in their best interests to not go charging into either of their houses, though the Dupain-Chengs would likely be quite willing to welcome them. Even so, Nino didn’t want to disturb them so he placed a hand on Alya’s shoulder before she could bolt for the bakery. 

“You might have to wait till after lunch though.” She nodded but wasn’t looking at him, instead staring towards the front doors to the school with so much energy she was practically vibrating. 

Nino laughed. 

He really loved how proactive she was. It was endearing. 

His pleasant thoughts were cut short however when a scream resounded within the school followed by the sound of something crashing into a wall. 

He knew before the thing had smashed into the courtyard that there was an akuma. 

Nino and Alya turned towards the akuma and for once Alya looked scared. She wasn’t exactly eager to be caught in an attack so soon after watching what happened with Our Son and yet here one was. It had been a couple of days, so he supposed an akuma was due but he really wished it’d held off. 

Before him was a girl who appeared to be about the same age as him but if she was emerging from within the school, that was no surprise. 

Her skin was a dark cloudy grey, her hair flowed down in long wavy silver wisps. Atop her head was a black tiara. Her eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed as if she’d just been crying. She wore a trailing dress with an empire waist. The fabric was made of deep purples with maroon, black, and blue spinning through it in stringy lengths that resembled, grotesquely enough, rotting muscles, blood veins, and innards. 

“My name is Mania!” She proclaimed to her audience of students with a broken voice. She outstretched blackened fingertips, “And you  _ all _ will understand the  _ insanity _ of rotting away.” 

From her fingertips poured a swirling black mass that shot forth to her new victims. In its wake it left crumbling grey stone where the black asphalt of the basketball court had once been. When it scraped by a scrambling girl, her leg turned purple and grey, lines cracking through the flaking skin, causing it to fall apart. 

The girl screamed in pain as the immediate contamination passed and settled into a slow growth up her thigh, consuming her leg and leaving nothing but black ash behind. She screamed again in horror and pain at the threat of it doing the same to the rest of her. 

For once, Nino was able to run out the door and  _ away _ from the akuma, because for once, Alya didn’t want to stay. 

They ran hand in hand, tripping down the front stairs, but the akuma had been fast and already was done with the school. 

Looking back only made Nino’s fear spike. Cracks ran up and down the front wall. Glass shattered creating an ear piercing sound, the windows falling in shards to the ground but there were few other people who had made it outside. 

Though there were screams and shouts here, there was silence from the school. 

Nino ignored the possibilities of what happened within. 

Shards of glass rained down from above cutting at those below. Nino vaguely noticed how warm his arm had gotten and the red that wasn’t supposed to be there but pushed it out of mind in favor of running faster as there was another loud sound as Mania gave the final push to the school. 

Dust and small rocks fell on their heads, the only warning of what was to come as the school crawled forward and groaned from the failing effort of holding itself up. 

There was a loud bang from the first boulder of school wall to fall, shaking the ground, causing everyone to stumble. 

Maybe they would have normally been floored by the faux earthquake and not have gotten up, but they were still within range and Francoise Dupont was still falling. They couldn’t risk not moving. 

Terrifyingly, something that sounded an awful lot like  _ London Bridge is Falling Down  _ was being hummed from the school. If Nino was to bet money on who was humming, he’d say it was Mania. 

Boulder after boulder fell from the school and crashed down around them before falling apart as well. The numbers of students who had escaped diminishing.

Nino and Alya ran as their lives depended on it. Neither really cared to be mashed potatoes. 

There was a cackle from behind just as they escaped the danger range and Nino knew that she was coming. They continued to run through clouds of ash and dust that threatened to blind and choke. Nino hoped the heroes would get here quickly, even if he didn’t really like the idea of them having to face Mania after what happened on Monday.

He wanted to die even less though. 

Another rumble shook the ground and Alya and Nino were forced to hide behind an upturned car. It wouldn’t last long but maybe they could hope that Mania would pass them by. In any case, they didn’t really have a destination, they weren’t used to hiding when it came to akuma attacks and had no clue where they could hide. They were used to running  _ to  _ akuma, not from.

Nino heaved where he sat, still gripping Alya’s hand. He finally noticed the glass shard in his arm and how much he was bleeding but he still didn’t feel the pain. 

Must be adrenaline. 

He moved his arm out of Alya’s sight. She was peeking around the car, still very afraid but unable to fight the need to face the akuma in her own way and had her phone out. This time she wasn’t livestreaming.

She took a picture of the devastation that had once been known as Collège Francoise Dupont and posted it to the LadyBlog, alerting others to the newest akuma. 

Despite her shaking hands, the picture was quite cinematic. 

There was a cloud of dust and the rubble of what used to be the school could be seen even as it crumbled, but there was a form inside the cloud of dust and it was close enough that the details of its shape could be made out well. 

“I-I’ve gotta figure out where the akuma is before Ladybug gets here.” Alya’s voice trembled. He understood the need to find it to minimize the amount of time and effort spent with Mania. The quicker they made things for the heroes, the less likely there’ll be more casualties. Casualties such as Chat Noir. 

Everyone knew that in all likelihood if anyone was going to die again, it was going to be Chat because the akuma would of course aim for Ladybug and Chat would, of course, jump in the line of fire to save his Lady. Less time meant lower possibility of a repeat of Our Son.

Nino sighed and waved Alya on. He understood her reasoning and could therefore not stop her. At least she was trying to be safe about it this time.

Alya started streaming to the cloud. She’d learned better after one time having her phone get destroyed while doing a normal recording. Afterword the footage had ceased to exist and since then she’d been livestreaming but she couldn’t exactly livestream knowing that people were gonna die again. 

She peeked around the car again, barely showing herself and barely sticking her phone out. 

Not moments later, Ladybug made her way to the scene. 

“Ladybug.” Mania regarded the lucky heroine. “You can give me your miraculous now… or not. Despite Hawkmoth, I won’t stop you, but either way you’re gonna die.” Nino noticed when a purple glow framed Mania’s eyes that she had begun to cry leaving lines of black tears down her cheeks. He noticed as well for the first time the cookie cutter heart shape hole in her chest. It was like a void was there and it was rimmed with a luminescent purple similar to the way her eyes glowed.

It seemed once again Hawkmoth had akumatized another too heartbroken one and unlike his previous akuma that he’s made for the past three years, these ones just wanted others to feel the same extreme pain they did. They didn’t much care for what Hawkmoth had to say and they cared even less about keeping their end of the bargain.

They just wanted to hurt. 

That darkness pulled at Nino and caused him to shiver in fear. It was frightening to see how people’s pain was twisted and sharpened once they were akumatized.

“Yeah, fine, whatever, I’ll be careful not to make the miraculous decay too. Happy? Now get off my back.” She waved her hand in a shooing motion in front of her face, making the purple mask fade. It didn’t look like she really planned to be careful about what she caused to rot. 

Ladybug’s face scrunched up in displeasure, “I’d rather not take you up on your offer, either end really.” She said in response to Mania’s earlier question.

Mania shrugged her shoulders and gave a non committal sound, “Not like it matters which you pick, you don’t really get a choice.” She flung her right hand out again and Nino knew she was going to use her powers again.

“Look out Ladybug! Her black smog will make you rot with one touch!” Alya shouted, now standing. Nino looked up at her in disbelief. She’d just outed their hiding spot.

He face palmed. Of course she would. She had to warn Ladybug after all. It would suck if their only way to revert things and cleanse the akuma went and died.

Mania turned to them, her glowing eyes threatening certain death.

The black magic spilled from her fingers again, but it wasn’t for Ladybug, no, Mania was aiming for Alya. Nino’s eyes widened with the realization.

He shifted from his sitting position into a crouch, about to jump up and push Alya out of the way but he was a bit slow. Why did he have to be sitting?!

He tackled Alya and even though they had avoided being hit head on, the liquid smoke had still scraped Alya’s foot, disintegrating her shoe and then spreading to her foot. 

Alya screamed out in pain. Hearing Chat only days prior had already made it hard to sleep at night, why must he hear his girlfriend’s scream too? 

“NO!!!” Ladybug shouted and Nino could only hold her close as she clawed at him, tears streaming from her eyes. 

The decay set in and climbed her leg like it had the girl in the school, bits and pieces of her breaking off and floating away like the ash of a fire as it’s embers are snuffed out, tissue collapsing in on itself to leave sand grain trails of what had been. It was just as painfully slow too, no, Nino wondered if maybe it was even slower. He hoped that that was just his mind and not reality. He didn’t want her to suffer for so long. He didn’t want what happened to Chat to happen to her. 

She gripped him in a tight embrace, nails digging into skin and leaving bright red seeping crescents, wailing from the pain as every one of her nerves slowly died. Tears filled his own eyes and his heart beat painfully against his ribs wanting out. 

He didn’t notice the cry when Chat Noir arrived. Didn’t notice the sound of battle as he sat off to the side, even if he was facing it. He curled in over his love’s body, trying to protect her even if he couldn’t stop the rot already clawing at her lower half.

“Don’t let me go.” She whispered. “Please don’t let me go.”

“Then don’t leave.” He responded. 

Why couldn’t he have his miraculous at that moment? Why was it that when he really truly needed to be Carapace he could be none other than Nino, only Nino. If he had Wayzz, he could’ve used shelter just then, he could’ve protected her. 

He could have saved her!

‘If’s and ‘why’s plagued his mind as the battle continued but he pushed them away. He couldn’t think about what he  _ could have _ done but what  _ he can do now _ . 

He needed to help find the akuma. 

If he found the akuma, Ladybug could end the fight and therefore stop Alya’s pain.

He looked up to assess the situation.

It was a mess to be honest. Ladybug and Chat Noir were definitely not on top of it and were struggling to stay out of the way of Mania’s power. They had no time to break away and figure out where the akuma was.

So Nino needed to do it. 

He watched the battle and thought back to when she’d appeared. Everytime she used her powers she would extend her hand… but it was always only the right hand. Why? 

Nino’s eyes searched Mania and that’s when he found it, a promise ring on her middle finger. That must be it. It has to be!

“The ring!” he yelled. “Ladybug! Chat! The ring! The akuma’s in the ring!” Ladybug and Chat Noir looked over to him for second, looked to the ring, then to each other, and nodded.

Now calmer with an objective at hand, the two got to work and with a well thought Lucky Charm, had tied Mania to a post. It would have been hard to get the ring off and break it, so instead, Chat cataclysmed it, releasing the akuma.

The decay stopped it’s progress up Alya’s legs. From mid-thigh down her legs no longer existed, only two piles of grey ash like flakes. Thankfully Alya had passed out. 

Ladybug cast her Miraculous Cure and her legs were back, as well as the school and many,  _ many _ , bewildered students. Most of them when asked didn’t remember what happened within the last five minutes of their lives. 

Guess that was for the better of all. 

Nino clung to Alya gratefully. 

“Pound it.” The heroes were quieter about their after battle victory fist bump but still did it nonetheless.

The girl that had once been Mania sat in tears. “We got together two months ago and everything was fine, but then we started to say we loved each other too much and things started to move too fast so I tried to slow things down. He started saying things like like, ‘I’ll suicide if you leave me.’ and ‘You’re the only thing that makes me happy.’ It’s just been so stressful and I’m so tired. I want to leave but if I do, what if he really does kill himself? Watching someone you love fall apart like that makes you exhausted. I couldn’t handle it anymore.” Her voice fell away at the end. 

Nino had heard of other stories like that, he knew that those things happened, but it kinda didn’t seem like it would happen to someone close to him. It’s likely she was in a class down the hall from him. Both Ladybug and Chat Noir must have had similar feelings because they looked like they didn’t really know what to do.

Ladybug inhaled deeply and then knelt next to the girl and patted her back in comfort, “Has he said this multiple times?” 

She nodded.

“Has he made any real plans?” 

She shook her head. 

“I…” she started, “I don’t think he really wants to die…” she practically whispered.

“Then it’s likely he’s trying to manipulate you.” Ladybug responded softly. The girl looked up then at the heroine.

“I think that you should talk to a counselor or trusted family member. Just remember that you can’t be responsible for his actions. If he chooses to die, it’s not your choice, it’s his, and you aren’t his therapist, you can’t force him to get help, but you can get help yourself. Okay?” 

The girl nodded, then wiped her tears away, got up, and went to join the mass that had gathered around the paramedics.

Ladybug turned to Nino and the sleeping Alya, her calm and brave stature fell apart at the sight and she ran to them, quickly joined by Chat Noir, worry painted on both of their faces. “Is she okay?” They asked.

Nino nodded and steadied his voice. “Yeah… yeah she’s okay. She’s just asleep.” 

Ladybug sighed in relief, kneeling next to Nino who was currently a lap pillow for the unknowing Alya. Her hand secretly moved to wrap around Alya’s wrist that had been on the ground. Nino barely noticed it and he thought that maybe he shouldn’t have with how Ladybug tried to hide the movement.

For a moment, they all sat there, but then Ladybug’s earrings chirped, followed shortly by Chat Noir’s ring. They both stood up, suddenly stiffer. 

“I, uh…” Chat stumbled.

“Yeah um, I’ll- I’ll just leave.” Ladybug pointed behind her, already walking backward. “Bug out!” then she swung away.

“I’ve also gotta go… See ya.” Chat vaulted away, leaving Nino in the middle of the street holding his girlfriend. He slouched forward, no longer rigid with fear or the thrum of survival running through him. 

He looked down at the fantastic foxy girl before her and sighed, “You’re a real piece of work Alya.” He smiled a little, “But you’re my piece of work.” 

“Nino!!!!” Marinette called from behind him. He turned his head to see her running to him.

“Is everything okay?!”

He smiled tiredly, ready to go home and just nap, his tolerance for drama drained for the day with all his energy, maybe he’d drag Alya with him cause she obviously wasn’t gonna wake up any time soon. 

“Yeah, everything’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mania was actually based on one of my friends and the art I made for her story as it was for my art portfolio. She told me about the incident after the fact and she's now okay. She broke up with him and he didn't die but he's still a manipulative douche. Be careful out there! Douches are everywhere and not restrictive to gender or age!  
> The name is in reference to the roman goddess of the same name.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Anymore comments, feedback and speculation are welcome!  
> Again I am _so_ sorry to those previous commenters and how I no longer can reply to you! I still have them and still hold them dear. <3


	5. The Haunting of Ghosts Not Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we're back to Marinette's point of view!  
> I love the fandom idea of the constant nightmares inflicted on Marinette and Adrien from their extracurriculars and how by having the other's presence near is enough to calm them so I've had this chapter planned out for a long time!  
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
>  **WARNING**  
>  Graphic review of the after effects of rotting and death by fire.
> 
> [Edited 19/11/20]

It had now been a week since Our Son had appeared and the time had only helped Marinette a little. It really wasn’t helpful though to have had your best friend decaying at one point but for all the traumatic experiences this week, she thought she was doing pretty well. After all, she was still holding herself together, she hadn’t let on how much of a wreck she was. 

She was okay. She was okay. She just had to repeat that a few times and then reassure herself that everyone around her was okay too. 

Marinette hadn’t feared the appearance of akuma like this since she’d first started the heroing job. It was an understatement to say she’d simply grown a bit paranoid. 

It was hard not to constantly have bouts of fear everywhere you went when you constantly had horrors trapped in your head. She couldn’t even talk about them. Couldn’t afford something like a therapist. Her secret identity was far more important than that. 

-◉-

Marinette was barely sleeping at night. Maybe an hour or two here and there. But now she didn’t just have Chat Noir burning, she had Alya rotting. 

Her dreams were terribly realistic and she easily remembered each one. 

Reality had never been so much more sweet even though it sucked too. It's what dragged her into this personal hell but it was better than what her mind supplied. 

Replays of Chat, constantly living through his death, plagued her. They followed her wherever she went. They hid within the light and she had trouble going near the furnace now. She couldn’t explain it to her parents. 

She already felt half mad with those alone, but then Mania had to appear. 

Now, within the shadows she saw Alya. 

That experience wasn’t replayed or relived, no it was _ remade _ . 

Her nightmares were a mix of fire and decay. One moment she’d be restrained to watch in terror as Chat’s back is engulfed in fire, and then the scene would change and she would see Alya’s body in various levels of rot. 

Her legs might have been torn to shreds, the muscle and sinew hanging loosely, or maybe her chest would have caved in like a rotting pumpkin, blackened and moldy with maggots. Sometimes her eyes would be milky white, her cheek torn apart to show yellowed almost browning teeth, her head smashed in and full of some black material that she assumed to be the remains of her brain. 

◉

But no matter what degree of decay she was afflicted by, Alya constantly cursed Marinette for not being able to save her. 

And because she saw Alya everyday, sometimes those images would cover Marinette’s vision of her and scare her half to death. 

It was still Chat who horrified her the most but all of it was beginning to wear at her. The only thing keeping her grounded, the only thing that told her the nightmares she was seeing weren’t real, was the heartbeat she’d feel when she reached out for Alya and Chat. 

Their heartbeats were such a relief that even if she wasn’t frightened from her new trauma and only worried or upset about something in real life, she still reached out for them. 

Nino had become a quick favorite due to his chill attitude and how he felt like a brother to her. Even when she was a little more obvious about feeling for his pulse, he didn’t say anything. She didn’t dare use Adrien to calm herself though, she was sure it would only do the opposite of what the action was intended to do.

Anyways, it was Monday again, it’d been exactly a week since her nightmares began haunting her every night and day.

She had a lot of bad days now but today was particularly worse.

Marinette had gotten  _ zero  _ sleep the night before.

Usually she’d get some sleep but that damned butterfly man had decided to make an akuma in the middle of the night that had taken several hours to defeat, so though the past week had sucked and she was jumpy and irritable, today definitely took the cake. 

So now she had gotten to school a sleep deprived teen and her only hope was to get through the day. She didn’t even really remember when she’d gotten to school but she’d take what she could get.

Wait, did she even change out of her pjs? ...Not like she actually really cared. If she was still in pjs, she’d be more comfortable and she really needed that. Maybe she should have brought a blanket to school. If she got sent to the office for that then all the better, didn’t matter where she fell asleep as long as she got some.

<◉>

Despite her thoughts earlier, she did try to pay attention in class, she really did, but she had  _ struggled  _ through each one.

She’d slipped on nothing twice as much as usual when she was out of class and when she was in, she could barely focus on the subjects being taught. 

As such, she was of course called out by the teachers several times when she’d begin to fall asleep even though she’d never quite gotten there and she was starting to not care anymore for their teacherly ways of watching over their students.

Being scolded several times, gaining tons of new bruises that she was sure were going to make her very sore later in the day and having sleep stolen from her grasp so many times left her more irate and snappy than she was capable of controlling, though she did try anyways.

So it was out of caution that her friends had let her be, not about ready to put themselves in the way of her fury. Even Chloe was keeping to herself today, though she’d already started being better about that since becoming Queen Bee. 

-<◉>-

During one particularly slow class she’d finally - _ finally! _ \- fallen asleep and wasn’t torn from it, though now that she  _ was  _ asleep she was really wishing the teacher  _ had _ caught her, because now she was surrounded by the blistering heat of fire.

Those thoughts were quickly lost and she wondered where and how she’d gotten here, swallowed by the illusion of reality that dreams brought.

Though she stood in the midst of it, she could only feel the temperature and not the fire itself. The walls bounced with the echoes of new and old screams, each one familiar, an accumulation of not only the bloodcurdling screams she’d heard that day they’d faced Our Son but every scream she’d heard from Chat in any of the attacks.

She was in a large room with walls of dark splintering wood and she wondered where it’d come from. The wood didn’t fall to the flames. 

A familiar shock of blond crossed Marinette’s vision and she ran to it, trying her best not to breathe in the smell that had become terribly, intimately familiar, but she couldn’t just not breathe so she used her mouth. 

That was a mistake.

A very bad mistake. 

She choked on the stench that was so strong she could taste it. She hadn’t thought the smell could get worse. She decided breathing it in was better than tasting it and with a grimace went back to using her nose. 

Though she had a feeling she knew what would happen should she successfully reach what owned the blond hair and black cat ears, she chased it through the angry red blaze nonetheless.

After she’d begun to tire and give up, the blond blob stopped moving and just shimmered there in the malicious light of the fire around them, taunting her. 

Stepping forward, a dark figure came more and more into focus until finally she stood before it, gaping in terror at the sight in front of her.

His mouth hung open like it had been unhinged, silent screams escaping it, his eyes were mere dark holes and his magical suit hung off him dripping like melted plastic. His skin was shriveled, a mix of black and puce and gone in others. In some places she could see his bones and how the fire had seeped under the dead skin, running along the blackened marrow. 

He stood there with his arms out,  _ welcoming _ her. 

Every instinct in her body that had told her not to follow was now screaming at her to run but she couldn’t, she couldn’t because she realized when he took a single shambling step towards her that he was  _ still alive _ and she could  _ never _ run from her partner. Even if he looked like something out of a nightmare.

With great fear and sadness, she collapsed to her knees, covering her mouth with both hands as large tears spilled over them, evaporating before they even hit the ground.

He kept reaching for her, begging for her comfort, taking small steps to her fallen form. “My… La-dee…” His broken voice called for her and she clenched her eyes shut, a sob tearing from her. 

The fire roared around her, threatening to drown out his sad voice as he repeated that precious nickname over and over but it never did and she could do nothing in her power to help him, so she simply sat there and cried and cried and cried and cried and… 

She wished the fire would consume her, wished she didn’t have to hear his voice, wished she’d been the one to take that hit that day but she knew that if that had happened no one would have saved her like she had Chat. 

In any case she wanted to be engulfed in its terrible embrace now. 

◉

She didn’t want to see this anymore, hear those ever present screams anymore, smell that stench of burning flesh and smoke anymore. 

Sobs racked her body, causing her to take heaving breaths in and with each one her desperation to not be here anymore grew. 

She reached out for a heartbeat somewhere, anywhere, she just needed a heartbeat.

And then it was there. 

A soft, steady thrum, definitely not the heartbeat of a man on the verge of death. 

It had answered her.

She fell forward, folding herself to the cold ground, curling in on herself in an attempt to keep the heartbeat to herself, to keep it from being wrenched away from her by the fire like it had her Kitty. 

She grasped it and kept it close. 

It sounded like her Chaton’s. 

She nuzzled it, let it silence the fire, the cries of her companion. 

The light around her dimmed and calmed to a soft blue, the wooden box turning to cool stone and she was in a half submerged cave, water caressing her legs and forehead, tide pushing and pulling in time with the heartbeat that she held to, like it was gravity, a tidal force. Silver light spilled over her and she believed the moon had come to comfort her. 

For a moment, that’s all she knew, and then the water slipped away from her and the blue reflection and silver light faded and she was temporarily in complete darkness before amber light slipped in and she opened her eyes to find herself in an empty classroom bathed in the light of sunset. Her friends sat around her, worry in their faces.

Alya had a hand on her shoulder, Nino flanking her, Adrien on the other side of the desk, close to her head. The warmth in her hand persisted despite the arms of sleep and dreams slipping from her mind. 

“Hey girl, are you alright?” Alya asked softly, as if afraid she’d break Marinette if she was too assertive. 

Marinette blinked tiredly and sat up, one hand still grasped around the heartbeat that had saved her from that hell, the other reaching up and wiping away the remnants of tears. 

“Yeah,” her voice broke from dehydration, “Yeah I’m good. What happened?” She asked her friends.

Nino opened his mouth first. “Ah, well, you’ve been kinda tired all day ‘Nette,” the look Alya gave him said  _ tired’s an understatement _ , “and so when you finally fell asleep without the teacher catching you, everyone decided to just leave you be. Class ended and we got out our homework to work on for a bit before waking you up because Adrien’s schedule was clear today and he got permission to hang out with us and we were hoping to go to your house. But after awhile you started to cry and…” His voice trailed off.

Alya picked up, “You started whimpering and crying and whispering. We couldn’t hear what you were saying, but you were in such distress I tried to wake you up but it wasn’t working. And then Adrien over there,” she nodded her head in his direction, “Reached out to help me but you just grabbed his arm and pulled it close and sorta… nuzzled it. When Adrien tried to pull away, you pulled back and after keeping a firm hold on him for a minute or two you calmed down, so we just let you keep him and waited for you to wake up.”

Finally looking down and realizing she was holding Adrien’s wrist she let go so quickly it could have been scalding water. 

Heat rose to color her cheeks in embarrassment. “I’m sorry I did that Adrien.” She’d gotten better at talking to him recently. 

When she was so focused on the terrors in her head, it wasn’t hard to get over her nervous stutter.

He laughed and it was as good a sound as his heartbeat. It filled her with warmth. “It’s fine Marinette, I’m just glad I could help.” Then Alya spoke, soft and still concerned, Marinette turned her attention to her, “Wanna talk about it girl?” 

Marinette contemplated it for a split second before shaking her head. 

Alya sighed, it was a tired sigh, it didn’t really suit her much. “Alright then. We’ll listen if you ever want to tell us about it.” That was when her demeanor switched and her usual spunky smile graced her face. It did not hide the hint of exhaustion. 

“Well then, now that she’s up, let’s collect our things and head over to Mari’s!” 

Nino and Adrien cheered in agreement and started packing up their things.

They finished faster than Marinette because she still had everything from class still out. “Hey! Wait! I never said you could come!” 

Nino and Adrien were close to the door, laughing, with Alya not far behind, “But you’ll still let us won’t you?” she called back and Marinette could only shake her head fondly, because Alya was right. 

She got all her stuff put away and grabbed one last thing that went in her purse. She snapped it open to a worried Tikki. Marinette sighed and pat the kwami on the head, “I’m alright Tikki, really I am.” and with that she clipped the purse shut and dashed out of the classroom to catch up to her friends.

Later that night, when her friends had gone and Paris’s night life stirred awake while her parents slept, she’d quietly ponder how it was she’d mistaken Adrien’s heartbeat with Chat’s. She’d already learned before that there was a small difference in people’s heartbeats, Nino’s sounded different than Alya’s, though their’s sounded similar ( _ she could make a guess why _ ), but they both sounded completely different from Chat’s and she knows Chat’s so well, there was no way she would have made such a mistake. 

Would she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3  
> If you have any comments, questions, speculation or something to point out, I'd love to hear them!
> 
> Next time we'll be finding out the extent of Adrien's trauma.
> 
> Summary1:  
> Marinette is haunted by the memories of Chat and Alya to the point that she is seeing illusions of Alya that are far worse than she had been.  
> Summary2:  
> Marinette has a nightmare where she's surrounded by fire and sees a half dead, basically zombie, version of Chat begging for comfort and release from his suffering.


	6. Relief's Genesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so surprised by all the positive feedback from last chapter! Thank you all so much!  
> Now, regarding the time line of this story for those of you who are curious. Everyone is 16 here and Marinette and Adrien have had their miraculous for three years now. This is canon compliant up to Timetagger except for Lila. After Volpina, she drew back into her house and hasn't left since. I have yet to decide if she'll show up in here or not so for now, she just doesn't exist.  
> Now onto the drama! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> [Edited 23/11/20]

Adrien could be doing better. 

He’d gone weeks before without much sleep, it wasn’t anything new, but tack on the night terrors? 

Yeah, he wasn’t doing well. 

His body was under so much stress he could barely even think about how Alya had been so close to rotting to death. He was just relieved she was okay.

Really, he should be over it all by now. It’d been just over a week since Our Son and the fears still plagued him. Usually it didn’t hold this long. 

Adrien was used to dying, even if that sounded bad. He’d died a few times before. He didn’t really remember much from those times. Maybe that was the difference? This time he  _ could  _ remember it. The pain. The suffering.

He shouldn’t feel it though. He shouldn’t be afraid. His father would never let him be afraid of fire from just a few burns. 

Adrien wanted to think of them like that, just a few burns. 

He didn’t want to think of them as anything more than that. Because sometimes his throat will choke up. Become sore and scratchy. As if he’d been yelling for hours. Sometimes his lungs would hurt and feel heavy, as if he’d swallowed a bunch of black smoke. Sometimes his heart would start running a mile a minute as if he was dying and his heart thought it could outrun the danger. Sometimes it felt like his skin wasn’t quite there. Itchy and in pain. Like he was just recovering from a bad sunburn. Something he’s only rarely gotten. He’s usually inside too much for that.

Even though he wasn’t physically injured, his mind had suffered trauma that it refused to forget. The shock from being injured and on his deathbed to being alive and well was so big that his mind couldn’t believe everything was okay. It was all too sudden, the shift in being, and his mind would believe wholeheartedly that things  _ weren’t  _ okay. So sometimes, it still felt like he was on fire.

It still felt like he was burning alive with every breath he took. It still felt like his nerves were screaming at him, begging him to stop, just stop. But what could he stop? There was nothing  _ to  _ stop. So he’d sit there and hold himself in the shower, water running ice cold, and try to just  _ pull himself together _ . 

He couldn’t just not be okay. 

He  _ had _ to be okay. 

He had to.

Plagg would just float there and watch from beyond the glass, unable to do anything to help his charge. 

He would watch silently, not even jokingly mocking him, for which Adrien was grateful for but also wished he would. Then he might feel a bit normal again.

Even beneath the shower, even in this cold house, even when his skin was pale and frozen to the touch and he feared he might get frostbite, the fire blazed, unrelenting, refusing to be put out. The only times the flames would calm and cool to a comfortable, steady ember, was when he was with his friends or Ladybug. 

His friends could cool the heat because interacting with them reminded him that he wasn’t dead or injured, that everything was normal and he was… normal enough. He’d never really been normal as the son of a man with a fashion empire he worked as a model for, but he was so far from normal now he wondered what it might have been like to once be normal. 

His friends helped, they did, but it was Ladybug that could put it out at least temporarily. 

Ladybug... 

And one other.

He didn’t quite understand it himself. It’s just, whenever she touched him, whenever she smiled at him or gave him a compliment, the fire would disappear as if doused in water, replaced instead by the steady warmth of a hearth. Calm and inviting and pleasurable. 

He understood why Ladybug could invoke that in him, but not why Marinette could.

It didn’t matter though, because it meant relief when his Lady wasn’t there. 

She couldn’t accompany him into civilian life like Marinette could.

After falling asleep in class a few days ago, Marinette had taken to sticking close. 

He’d noticed before that she’d become really touchy with Alya and Nino soon after Mania and had felt left out and unwanted because she wouldn’t hug him or put her hand on his shoulder. 

It’d really begun to bug him.

But then she grabbed onto his arm while she slept and any buzz left from the fire beneath his skin was quieted, shushed. 

Instead, another, more desirable warmth flushed through him when she nuzzled him.

He didn’t really want to pull away but it could get awkward when she woke up and Nino and Alya were watching. He couldn’t just leave his hand there.

So he’d tried to pull away and was so relieved when she’d pulled him back. 

When she’d woken up, he was happy that she hadn’t let go yet, and then was severely disappointed when she’d yanked her hand back like the fire boiling beneath his skin had gotten through to her and burned her.

After that, though tentatively, she started to casually touch him too, like friends! 

Gone were the days he believed she hated him. If she hated him, she wouldn’t stick to him like glue, because that’s what she started to do.

Everywhere he went, she tried her best to stay close, and unlike Chloe, she was warmly welcomed. He didn’t need an excuse to be close, to have her company feel like a healing balm or cool water. In fact, he thought he wouldn’t mind at all if she hung off him like Chloe had once.

He didn’t understand the new change in demeanor but he didn’t think much of it because it made him too happy to have her with him, to have her walk him to his car and then wave goodbye with a smile that said she hated that he had to go, and then to be there right when he got back.

And since she’d started getting to school early she’d been able to meet him at the doors in the morning.

She maximized the amount of time they hung out together and he was  _ more _ than eager to help in any way he could, even if that meant doing everything his father asked for so that he could stay in his good graces and get more time to spend with Marinette.

Her being around helped him as much as it helped her, though Adrien wouldn’t know that, Plagg did. 

That’s why he insisted Adrien stayed close, though it was rather unnecessary with how stuck to each other they were. They needed each other, and even if he couldn’t tell the boy who it was that sat just behind him, he could at least make sure that they were still there to help one another. 

He was upset with Tikki and Fu, just a little, even if it was illogical, because he wanted to just tell Adrien who Ladybug was, make the pain stop as soon as possible, but it wasn’t Tikki or Fu that kept him from opening his mouth. It was a dumb kwami rule that, when in it’s proper context, would actually be really helpful. 

If one of them were captured, then they couldn’t say a word. It was very unlikely they’d be in such a situation because they could phase through things, but there was always that possibility that someone  _ could _ actually keep them locked up somewhere. Kwamibuster was a reminder of that.

So for now he could only lay hints when his charge was in the right state of mind and watch.

Plagg hated watching, hated the nonexistent inferno that tore at his chosen’s mind at all times of the day. The poor boy could barely sleep at night. It was by luck that he was able to complete things like those stupid photoshoots and lessons. He wanted to get rid of them, he wished Adrien would just say ‘no’ for once, but that was hard to ask of him when he still loved that man that couldn’t even be called a father.

If Plagg had his way, he would’ve adopted the kid already and hightailed it outta there, maybe go live with Tikki, he was sure Pigtails would be ecstatic. 

Speaking of Pigtails, he was beginning to think by having so much contact with her that perhaps her luck was rubbing off on Adrien because Nathalie, and therefore Gabriel, had yet to notice anything amiss.

Or perhaps they really only cared that much. That would suck for Adrien of course, but it would be just the luck of the incarnate of destruction and misfortune.

Either way it meant less trouble.

He could barely imagine what that man would do the moment he found out about Adrien’s trauma.

Probably lock the boy in his room and tell him to use the time to think about how irrational he’s being. 

Yeah, he would totally heap more stress onto him.

Kwami, he had to get this kid out of here.

If he didn’t, he was sure his kitten would break.

Adrien held desperately to the cool, calm warmth that his Lady, Marinette, and his friends left him as he went about his day. They held him together and it was only by those remnants and Plagg’s purr that he could get as much sleep as he had. 

It was very little despite those factors, but it was better than nothing. 

Plagg had never purred for him before this incident, but Adrien wasn’t about to stop him. It made him feel just a bit better. He often had to hide his own wounded purr around others, like in front of Nathalie, or father, or his workers. Those were always the times he felt the need to make it and Plagg’s quieter one from his front pocket helped infinitely.

Adrien dropped in through his open window after defeating the latest akuma, Twenty Die, already feeling the beginnings of the pain that would surely engulf him, surely send him to the bathroom, surely leave him cowering in made up torment. 

He sighed as he let his transformation go and caught a spinning Plagg, tired from the latest transformation. 

Plagg dazedly looked up and into Adrien’s eyes, freezing the moment he saw the green orbs. 

It’d already begun. 

He had about thirty seconds before the kid would run off to the bathroom in a desperate attempt to extinguish the trauma that clung to his mind. 

“Adrien!” Plagg called out, stopping the descent into madness for a few moments. “Kit, look at me, give me a moment to recharge, then transform and get out there. Go see your girlfriend.” 

Adrien looked a little shocked. 

He was so surprised that he didn’t realize Plagg had called Marinette his “girlfriend.” He was too busy thinking about the first part of what he’d said.

Plagg rarely called him by name and had never called him ‘kit.’ He also didn’t like being transformed. He liked to laze around, so this was all new, but Adrien wouldn’t say no if Plagg was offering. So he held off the pain, the mix of this cold house and scalding memories, until the kwami could finish his camembert. 

Before transforming, he pocketed a slice of the stinky cheese. Just in case. 

Then he was out, having only stopped by for a few moments before going off again.

<◉>

Whenever Marinette got anxious she would search out a pulse, a heartbeat, even for times when she wasn’t facing fire and smelling death. Her own would do when she was sad, but if she was angry or panicking then her elevated erratic heart did nothing for her and sometimes even made things worse, but she couldn’t reach for someone else while taking a test or fighting an akuma... or falling down that dreaded memory collection of objective truth and made up illusion.

It was during an akuma attack though that she noticed something different. 

This akuma, Twenty Die she called herself, was strong. It was like playing a death game with a large 20 sided dice that would call forth different scenarios or weapons depending on what she got. A one gave Twenty Die a random weapon, a two created copies of themselves that were out to kill them, seven would summon black nightmare hounds, twelve made a Krampus, thirteen would send them to any horror film, and so on. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir had to keep dodging, being given no time to recoup or call on a Lucky Charm and Ladybug’s nerves were getting to her. 

She desperately wanted to feel Chat’s calming pulse. Even if it was beating faster than normal because of adrenaline, it was always strong and sure, the sound of someone  _ alive _ , of  _ him  _ being alive.

And then she heard it. 

She wasn’t anywhere near him but she could  _ hear  _ it. 

A thready sound, distant yet close. It echoed around her in a way it hadn’t since the time they’d collapsed on each other after Our Son, because she hadn’t been that close, that in contact with his pulse since then because she always desperately tried to keep it casual, keep the touches only that, touches, nothing more, even as she  _ yearned  _ for more contact.

It grew in strength and suddenly it felt as if it was right there beneath her fingertips, against her ear, within her grasp, like that time a couple days ago with that nightmare she’d had at school.

It soothed her, calmed and focused her so that she could finally create a plan.

Within minutes, the fight was over.

<◉>

It had surprised Marinette when he’d come. She hadn’t expected him, but how was she to expect that he’d drop in?

She’d heard him the moment he’d dropped onto her roof and immediately known it was him and not some other thing like a bird. 

It’d only been an hour since she’d defeated Twenty Die. She’d only had an hour to get used to her strengthening new ability and that entire time had been spent downstairs helping her parents. Not exactly the best place to get used to something like that. The increase in sound had continually disrupted her thought process and nearly given her a migraine. She’d barely gotten to her room and hadn’t even been able to ask Tikki about the change yet.

She vaguely wondered if this is what it had been like for Chat to get used to his super hearing. That thought was followed by the question of if her hearing was now as good as his, or better?

That would have to be answered some other time though. 

Anyways, she’d heard him. He was usually quiet, but now she could hear how his feet very lightly scuffed over her roof, hear the way his tail lashed nervously. 

She couldn’t hear his heartbeat yet though. It disappointed her, but then again, she wasn’t transformed. Both her hearing as Ladybug and Marinette was beginning to get stronger, but Ladybug’s change was faster. Marinette’s was slightly slower. 

She waited a bit longer. She wanted to let him come down on his own, to knock on her trapdoor and “notify” her that he was up there. She was supposed to be a civilian after all. But minutes passed by and all he’d done was continue shuffling around on her balcony. 

Marinette sighed, she couldn’t wait anymore. 

His heartbeat was  _ right there _ . Hell would have to freeze over before she let such a chance get away from her. 

When she popped her trap door open, trying to be quiet enough his ears wouldn’t catch it just yet, she found him standing by the railing, looking out over the city that was beginning to transition from day to night, evening goers starting to pool out on the street, lights turning on as long shadows hid them from the remaining glow of the sun. 

She too was in his shadow, the sun’s radiance causing his hair to shimmer. 

Her breath caught. 

He hadn’t noticed her yet.

She’d thought before that he was the moon, and Adrien the sun, the two most important people in her life lighting up her sky, but at that moment her belief wavered. At that moment, Chat Noir seemed far brighter than Adrien had ever been in a way she’d never known. 

She heard him muttering pros and cons to going over and letting her know he was here, pros and cons of staying. The cons were all reasonable, things she also would have thought of had she been in his situation, and she felt a swell of pride that he’d heavily considered her rules. 

The pros though, those were all so very sweet. Had she been Ladybug she doubted she would have stopped him from visiting her, even if she wasn’t said hero. It made her happy that her civilian self made him feel comfortable to be around, even if she didn’t remember when he’d had the chance to determine such a thing. She tried not to focus on the implications of that. 

Instead, she lowered, the trap door quietly before pushing it open with enough force it would surely be loud enough to catch his attention. 

When she popped up again, she tried hard not to laugh, to instead act surprised, because he looked shocked, like it was some sort of magic that she would  _ ever  _ come up to hang out on  _ her own  _ balcony.

Instead, she said, “Oh! Chat Noir! What are you doing here?”

He shuffled nervously from foot to foot, too surprised to put his usual hero flair back up yet. His hand found its way to the back of his neck in a familiar movement, his head bowing in shame as he muttered, “Oh, uh… I just, wanted to see you..” His voice had been soft at the beginning, but it trailed off even quieter at the end, almost as quiet as his heartbeat, which she could now hear, that had picked up since she’d scared him. 

Marinette knew that she wasn’t actually supposed to hear that last part, knew that had her hearing not gotten better today, she would’ve missed it completely. 

But she hadn’t. 

She had heard, and it was sweet to know that they knew each other as civilians, sweet to know that she could help him even when she wasn’t Ladybug. It was sweet even as her brain screamed at her that such knowledge was anything but good and even  _ dangerous _ , familiar alarm bells ringing, but she didn’t seem to mind, no, she didn’t  _ want _ to mind.

Did she perhaps want to know him? 

When had she begun to want that?

She let her heart speed up to match his rate. At the very least, she could express her embarrassment through that, she couldn’t let it bleed into her face after all.

“What’d you say?” Marinette asked, knowing full well what he said, knowing full well that he needed a chance to come up with some believable excuse.

A hint of his playful grin made its way to his face, but it was a little pained. “Oh just passing by. I needed a breather while on patrol and your balcony is so lovely.”

She knew that neither of them had patrol that day, even heroes need breaks, but she let him have that excuse, she wasn’t supposed to know when patrol was after all. 

“Would you like to come in?” she offered. “I was in need of company. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

His eyes brightened and his smile warmed. Some of the tension in his shoulders melted. “If you wouldn’t mind.” 

If he was a bit too eager to go into a girls room of all things, she didn’t say anything.

<◉>

He’d stayed several hours after that. They’d played games and talked, and he’d helped with her physics, teaching her what she didn’t understand. Eventually they’d fallen into a comfortable silence as she worked on a design, his heartbeat filling the room. It was nice being able to hear it for so long and in one place, not having to worry about some life threatening akuma.

Around eleven, he’d begun to fall asleep. Though she wanted to let him stay and rest, his family must be missing him, so she had to regretfully wake him. It was a bit of a struggle, he wanted to get up as much as she did every morning, and wanted to leave even less, but she’d convinced him he had to go home. 

With a kiss on the cheek, she bid him goodnight, ignoring the way the action made her heart feel.

When she was sure he was gone, she turned to her kwami who floated before her. 

“Why can I hear so well now, Tikki?” 

She smiled, it was soft and sad, a bittersweet sort of smile. “I couldn’t do much else for you, Marinette. Plagg can purr if he wants to, but I couldn’t do anything but be an emotional support for you and that’s hard when you can’t hear me. Hopefully this can help at least.”

Marinette felt tears come to her eyes, her kwami’s care making her happy. 

She cupped her hands around Tikki and brought her to her cheek in a sort of hug. “Thank you, Tikki. It means a lot to me.”

When she’d calmed down, she turned to her room and started planning on how to make her Chaton more comfortable here should he ever decide to come back.

She wished he would.

Tikki watched her fussing with great fondness, so proud of this bug’s caring nature. 

As Marinette continued planning, Tikki turned away to look out the window forlornly in the direction of the Agreste mansion. 

She could only hope that Plagg’s kitten could hang on just a bit longer. At least long enough for her own little bug to figure things out like she always did.

For both of their sakes, she hoped she would figure it out soon.

<◉>

It was with great reluctance that Chat left. He didn’t want to go back, to leave her comforting presence, to walk back to the nightmares that she’d somehow chased off, but if he wanted to stay, he would have had to explain how cold his house was, how it wasn’t the one she thought it to be, and that would make her sad.

He didn’t want her to be sad because of him, so he’d agreed and left.

Now that he was gone, he focused on how he’d been able to sleep.

Adrien hadn’t been able to fall asleep for the past week and a half without having flashes of memory and nightmares cross his mind. Not even if he fell asleep for a moment. And yet, in that room where the sound of a sewing machine and her humming suffused the space, whether it was how homely it felt or Marinette herself that made him feel so safe, he had fallen asleep without the ghosts of pain. 

It was nice, and he felt that if he had stayed, he possibly could have slept the entire night away for once.

Instead, back in his own room again, the shadows leapt at him, ready to tear him to pieces, fear stabbing at him from every direction, fire gripping his heart in a promise that it wouldn’t let him get away so easily. 

The next thing Adrien knew, the light of day was brushing across his ceiling and a portion of his room and he was in a corner, shivering and soaking wet, a towel wrapped around him haphazardly, and Plagg curled up, purring against his collarbone.

His own wounded purr filling the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe >:) I could have finished this chapter happily, I _could_ have, but that wouldn't have been as fun, now would it?  
> I found Twenty Die really clever, did you get why I had each scenario or weapon connected to their specific number? I liked seven the most.  
> We finally see them begin to heal! I hope you all enjoyed this because there's gonna be more!!! Yay!!  
> Thank you all for reading! I really appreciate it <3  
> If you have any comments, speculation, or feedback, I'd love to hear it!
> 
> Next time we have some cuddly shenanigans!


	7. Teddy Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrienette fluff!  
> Sorry guys, I’m a bit later than I’d like to be since I went traveling and am now an hour off.  
> Now for the chapter you’ve all been waiting for! Cuddles!  
> And Adrien’s reaction to Marinette’s Chat Noir pjs too!  
> I hope you enjoys this chapter!
> 
> [Edited 23/11/20]

The next day, Adrien was eager to experiment and find out if it was Marinette or her home that helped him sleep so well and to do that, he needed to find a time to try it out. Lunch seemed like a good option. 

He asked Nathalie for permission to stay with his friends for lunch today. It was unlikely his father would come eat with him anyways and if he just went back, the cold walls would invite the wraiths of trauma back to him. The park seemed like a much better option. 

In a stroke of luck, Nathalie had allowed him, so long as nothing was said to Gabriel.

It wasn’t hard to stay close to Marinette. Since she started sticking to him he’d really gotten to know the wonderful girl that everyone loved so much. For the past few days, it was almost like she was always touching him in some way. It was subtle, but it was there, and he was thankful for it. But she hadn’t been touching him that much today. She still was, but not as much as the past couple days and it made a stark difference. 

He missed it.

Her touch was always comforting and cool against his skin like water on the embers of flame. It was a feeling that Ladybug could never offer due to their magical suits.

So he found himself reaching for her. Constantly touching her back in the few hours before lunch. Then, hand in hand,  _ (when had they started holding hands?) _ they followed Alya and Nino out the front doors and towards the park. He caught Alya once looking back and giving Marinette, who refused to look in her direction, a knowing look. 

Marinette began the conversation. She’d stopped stuttering around him anymore. Sometimes he still got it out of her, like when he surprised her, but it was pretty much nonexistent now. He missed the stuttering and blushing only a little, finding more joy in being able to actually  _ talk _ to her. 

If she noticed their hands still linked, she gave no indication of it.

After talking amongst his friends, goofing off with Nino, and having a war with Alya over who was the biggest Ladybug fan  _ (obviously him) _ , he’d finished his small, bought lunch and the rest of the food Marinette, Nino, and Alya had unsubtly pushed on him, knowing full well he didn’t eat enough, he was beginning to feel tired.

There was still some time left before they needed to return. 

Wonderful, he could now put his plan into action.

After leaving Marinette’s house the night before, he’d had to deal with the demons, getting absolutely no sleep, and therefore was mentally and physically drained. 

This plan didn’t need much effort, almost none at all really. He just leaned over on Marinette’s shoulder.

She flinched, but the movement was so small it had been hard to notice. Then she’d quickly relaxed and they’d almost melted into one another. He enjoyed her warmth, letting it chase away the fire that raged against his bones and threatened to burst out. It wasn’t long before he felt his eyelids droop and his breath begin to deepen. 

The haze of sleep began to cloud his mind and he let it blanket him as he watched the scene of Alya and Nino plan out their next date, slowly forgetting the quiet secret-heroes who made no move to remind the two lovebirds that they were still there.

It had only been seconds before sleep welcomed him into a calm abyss.

<◉>

Marinette, for the past couple of days, had taken to staying close to Adrien, his heartbeat almost a lifeline and a blanket all at once. It soothed her like only one other could, it grounded her like only one other could, it freed her like only one other could.

She didn’t think about the similarities between her Chaton and Adrien, fought herself not to. It was dangerous comparing two boys she cared about.

So she pretended her moon had not become the sun for a short time, pretended that their heartbeats merely sounded alike, pretended that she hadn’t noticed Adrien’s cat puns and like for dramatics, pretended that Chat’s smile the previous night hadn’t been soft like a certain someone else’s and that the way he played Ultimate Mecha Strike was not at all familiar.

In short, she told herself she was insane and that the mental stress had finally gotten to her. 

Sure, it wasn’t the best thing to tell yourself you’re absolutely bonkers, but she wasn’t sure what else to do. She’d made the connections and now she felt something slowly breaking apart that really needed to continue standing.

Before her hearing strengthened, she needed to constantly be in contact. She was thankful that he didn’t say anything about her actions. Maybe he didn’t even notice them, Alya sure hadn’t. Marinette had taken to great pains to assure Alya would take awhile to notice. She would eventually, but Marinette didn’t feel like dealing with the reaction to her and Adrien being so buddy buddy yet. She couldn’t handle that right now, especially when she’s only barely getting by.

Now her sense of hearing had grown though. She could now hide how much contact they shared and delay Alya from realising even longer. 

Or so she had thought until Adrien had started chasing her hand. 

When her hand fell from his back, his arm, or his wrist, he would chase it, and she started noticing that he kept touching  _ her  _ back,  _ her  _ shoulder,  _ her  _ arm.

Apparently he  _ had  _ noticed the touches, and from what she could see of his reaction when she stopped touching him,  _ he had liked it _ .

If she thought too hard about that, she might freak out. She really did not need to start freaking out. So she didn’t think too much about it, saved it for later. 

Marinette didn’t need to touch him anymore to feel his heartbeat, she could hear it, but just because she could hear it didn’t mean she didn’t want to feel it against her own skin. 

Feeling the heartbeat pulse beneath her fingertips was far better than just hearing it.

So she stopped resisting. 

With fleeting bravery, when they left the school, she’d grabbed onto his hand, and he didn’t pull away.

Unfortunately, by that point, Alya had begun to notice. With Adrien chasing her, it’d become a bit more obvious how much they touched. Funny how her plan to lengthen how long she went without noticing made her notice that much faster.

She steadfastly ignored Alya’s smile and wiggling eyebrows, silently pleading help from Nino who acted like he had  _ no clue _ that  _ any _ of this was going on. The smile he wore though when he glanced at her told her that was the farthest thing from truth.

He knew.

He knew quite well.

And he wasn’t helping.

_ Nino Lahiffe, you are  _ dead  _ when I get my hands on you.  _ **_Dead_ ** _. _ She glared at him and hoped her threat was properly conveyed. From the way he flinched and looked away, she figured she had succeeded.

The tired, irritated Marinette of recent was not a force to be reckoned with.

At least, in her attempt to get Adrien and Marinette together, Alya stayed a couple feet in front of them, not about ready to ruin any possible  _ moment  _ they might have together. 

She sincerely doubted such a thing would happen, even as she yearned for her friend’s expectations to be true. If she thought about it too much, she’d only hurt herself, so she focused on not building expectations and avoiding Alya’s.

Even as she thought so, she looked back to where Alya and Nino were walking, hand in hand. 

They tried hard to hide it, but Marinette, with all the stress and worry she had on her shoulders, was still able to see it. It was helpful that she’d picked up listening to heartbeats, otherwise she actually might not have been able to notice it like she had. Their pain that is.

It was to be expected really. There’s no way they could have gotten away from Mania trauma free. Well, it was possible that Alya could have.

Since Our Son, Marinette noticed that anyone who’s died during an attack, no matter how traumatic, they’d forget it. And those who’d seen another die before their own death only remembered it vaguely. But Alya missed that by half her body.

She didn’t die and is now unable to ever forget the pain of rotting away bit by bit. 

And Nino?

Like Marinette he was forced to remember  _ everything _ . They both knew and felt something that Alya and Chat Noir will never understand. The pain of watching someone you love dearly suffer extremely and then be unable to do anything to help.

Alya and Chat Noir don’t need to understand this pain though, they already have enough on their own being direct victims. Marinette hoped they never understood it, she didn’t want them to when they were already dealing with enough on their own.

Marinette wasn’t comparing their pains, it wasn’t a competition and shouldn’t be one. The things they experienced were just different is all.

If Marinette was asked if she’d learned anything, anything at all, from the past week and a half, it would be that you don’t have to be the one hurting to be hurt. 

She understood now what her health teacher said when talking about those who started drugs and told their family to leave them alone, it’s their body and their choices, it doesn’t affect their family in any way. But doesn’t it?

Marinette felt a new appreciation for her healthy body and the knowledge that her parents and friends had no clue what she did on a nearly daily basis. It would hurt them endlessly, cause in the end, her body and life weren’t exactly just hers. 

If she hurt herself, be it through drugs or alcohol or violence, she hurt those around her. She’d never planned to use drugs or anything, but it was another motivator.

Marinette shook herself of her deep thought process to turn her direction back to the couple in front of her.

There was some tension in their backs, their smiles were only a little strained, and their heartbeats were relatively normal. They weren’t okay, this she knew, but they would be fine. They had each other if not anything else. 

The thought filled her with relief and she smiled.

They’d be okay.

And she would too. 

Eventually, she’d be okay and Chat would be okay. 

She looked down at the hand still entwined with Adrien’s. He’d been a great help, even if he didn’t know it. Ugh, she loved this sweet sweet boy so much.

The park wasn’t a long walk from the school so they got there pretty quickly and in moments they were all set up on a small blanket they kept for such times when they wanted to go out and eat in the park.

Their conversation was full of laughter and joy. It had been fun to watch Adrien and Alya fight over who was the greatest Ladybug fan. Even when they turned to her for her opinion on the matter, she could only point out that Chat Noir must be Ladybug’s biggest fan.

Alya, realizing the truth in this, merely changed her wording and declared herself “Ladybug’s greatest civilian fan” and smirked in Adrien’s direction, begging him to challenge her, but rather than look defeated or ready to go another round, he seemed smug about the whole thing and smiled from where he sat. “Fine with me.” He had said. 

The strange little scenario quickly filed itself away to a point in Marinette’s head for the idea that she wouldn’t let herself think about, despite a conscious effort.

Then Alya and Nino started discussing another date, quickly forgetting about her and Adrien.

It was nice to watch them like this. She was sure they’d be one of those spunky couples in the future, like the cool aunt and uncle.

She felt a certain weight against her side disrupt her thoughts and she froze. 

Adrien was leaning against, oh my kwami he was leaning against her!

Her excitement was soon hushed when she realized that she could feel his heartbeat better.

The echo of his heartbeat and the heat of his body warmed her, and so she melted into his side.

Being the most comfortable she’d been in a long time, she started to feel tired. She tried to go to sleep last night, she always did, but her nightmares and fears had come back after Chat Noir left and so she’d gotten as much rest as she had every night and was resigned to working the night away in the end.

She sighed in content, her eyes fluttering shut as she tried to keep herself awake.

Then she noticed how Adrien’s heart slowed and his breath deepened, his weight falling on her completely. He’d fallen asleep.

He  _ had  _ been about as tired as she was recently, so she shouldn’t be so surprised.

Normally, this would be fine, because normally she would be able to hold him up, even if she was having a mental breakdown. 

However this was not a normal situation and she herself was also very very tired. She didn’t want to fight sleep. She hadn’t been this comfortable since the night after Our Son and she didn’t want for it to end. She wanted sleep. 

Being unable to resist the grip of the drowsy and hold Adrien  _ and  _ herself up, she started to fall over. 

Once she’d fallen onto the soft soft blanket, Adrien had fallen on top of her, his head lying just below her collarbone, pillowed by her breast.

She turned, getting more comfortable. She curled into him and held him close like she would a teddy bear, wrapping her arms gently around his head. She felt him shift, his arms finding their way around her waist, snuggling close to her, before she finally drifted off.

Noticing the suddenly large amount of movement from Adrien and Marinette, Alya had turned to look, finally remembering her friends were there, curious as to what had happened.

When Alya laid eyes on the two cuddled together on the blanket across from her and Nino, she couldn’t help the face splitting grin that stretched across her lips.

“Nino,” she tapped him, unable to turn away from the precious sight before her. “Nino.” She repeated.

“What?” he looked up from the calendar on his phone. Then he saw them. 

“Ohhh.”

“Grab my phone for me will ya? I need to burn this sight into my eyes and memory chip and then tease Mari about it later.” Nino chuckled, grabbing the phone right beside his girlfriend and putting it in her open and expectant hand.

“Send it to me will you?” he asked. “You have a better camera than I do.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Alya was already up and taking several pictures from different angles. The sight was so funny he’d taken his own picture of her photographing their friends, even if his camera sucked. 

The alarm on his phone rang, notifying him that they needed to get back to class soon. He gathered up their stuff. “Let’s not wake them,” he told Alya, “They need the rest.”

Thankfully, the spot they liked to eat at had a few trees around them and was relatively private. They could get away with sleeping there. 

Taking one last picture before grabbing her bag from Nino, she said, “Oh yeah, for sure. They’ve been like zombies the past couple of days. If Mari hadn’t been so upset on Monday then I would’ve laughed about how she’d come to school in her Chat Noir pjs.” 

Nino hoped that the sleep she’d get and the notes he’d take for her would dissuade Marinette from killing him for leaving her to Alya and then abandoning her here. 

<◉>

Luckily for Nino, when he and Alya came back after school to wake them, Marinette was more grateful to have gotten an undisturbed sleep and the notes/homework from each class and therefore put killing Nino off to another time.

Marinette, and Adrien for that matter, having gotten more rest than they have collectively in the past week, did not bother going to sleep that night. 

When Marinette got back to her room she puzzled over what happened.

“Tikki, I slept for more than two hours and without nightmares… How did I sleep without nightmares?!” She paced back and forth across her floor, careful to be quiet, muttering all the while as to what possibly happened. 

She could only come up with one answer, a very important recurring factor to all of this: Adrien. 

Back in the classroom when she had managed to fall asleep and her nightmares had worsened, it was him who chased them away, and now she was able to fall asleep and go dreamless for several hours? It  _ must _ be Adrien. 

She wasn’t sure if it was merely because his heartbeat was similar to Chat’s or his warmth or the nature of her crush, but either way she was going to take advantage of this new situation.

It was obvious that Adrien liked being in constant contact, he not only made her fear and illusions disappear but also her nightmares. If Adrien liked being in touch so much, then he wouldn’t mind being a teddy bear, now would he?

As Marinette followed her train of thought, Adrien was celebrating.

“Plagg it worked! I was able to sleep!” Adrien cheered, the elation of the day being the only thing staving off the ever present inferno, just waiting for him to let his guard down.

It was stronger in his room and this mansion than anywhere else, for what reason, he did not understand, though Plagg had an idea. 

“I’m happy for you kid.” he said as he glared about the room. Sure it was nice to have camembert whenever he wanted but he hated this room for all its worth. He was sure he’d be fine at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, surely they’d have plenty of delectable choices of cheesey creations.

“It really was Marinette…” Adrien wondered at the revelation, awe and happiness brimming from him in waves. 

Adrien collapsed on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, already planning what to do tomorrow, after all, Marinette hadn’t seemed to dislike the earlier situation, even falling asleep with him. His face heated at the picture he later received from Alya. In fact, it seemed that she was quite content to sleep with him if the way she held him close was anything to go by. 

Perhaps she might let him use her as a pillow again? 

The way he had phrased the thoughts in his head caused him to blush heavily. He may be dense but he could at least tell that should he say what he was thinking aloud, they would be considered highly inappropriate. 

He squirmed and buried his hot face in his pillow, willing the thoughts away. 

Plagg said nothing from his perch on the desk and only anxiously awaited the mental onslaught Adrien would no doubt soon face. It was only a question of how long till then? How long would this happiness hold for?

<◉>

Marinette greeted the next morning with a tired smile.

She may have avoided sleeping last night but her mind still supplied her with unnecessary thoughts if she slowed her work so she had spent the entire night pushing to stay awake and work.

Now that the day had come, she was ready for a fresh wave of relief that would surely come with being near Adrien. 

Dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants, she skipped down the stairs, for once not having to put on a facade at all. Ever since she’d gone to school in her pjs - _ the Chat Noir ones no less! How embarrassing _ \- she’d been more careful with what she wore out the door.

“My, you seem more chipper this morning, anything to look forward to today?” Sabine greeted her daughter. Marinette smiled at her mother, “Not really, just in a good mood.”   
Sabine smiled, “Well alright then, your breakfast is waiting for you on the table, unfortunately both Tom and I have an order we need to get working on and won’t be able to join you today but I promise we can tomorrow.” 

Marinette nodded, “That’s alright Maman, you’ve been busy lately, it was to be expected.” Sabine patted her shoulder before finishing off her tea and leaving an empty cup beside the sink. When Marinette was seated in her spot at the table, Sabine had already disappeared down the stairs.

Tikki flew out of her purse and joined her meal on the table. Marinette made sure to enjoy the chance to eat and talk with her kwami.

Soon she was waving goodbye to her parents and running off to school, a spring in her step and a bright smile on her face she didn’t bother to tamper. 

She sat on one of the steps in front of the school practically vibrating in excitement. She could have been compared to a puppy eagerly awaiting their owner’s arrival and it wouldn’t be far off. 

Only a few minutes later did his car pull up to the curb. He stepped out looking pale and worn causing worry to spike in Marinette’s chest. He’d been looking terribly tired lately but he’d never let it get this bad. 

She jumped up, ready to rush to his side and do anything to make him feel better when he saw her. The moment their gaze connected, he seemed to  _ glow  _ with happiness, a smile finding its way to his lips. 

He bounced up the steps to her similar to how she had minutes ago and she almost sagged in relief at the sight, thankful that somehow just her being there made him happy. 

When he got to her step he enveloped her in a hug, humming as if she too brought him solace. 

Then he flinched like he’d just remembered that he shouldn’t be doing that, but she didn’t want him to let go yet. If he was offering what she wanted, she wouldn’t turn him away. 

Before he let go she wrapped her arms around him too, hugging him as tight as she dared with her strength. His body relaxed in her grasp, now sure that it was okay to just hug her like this.

He sighed in annoyance and before she could ask what was wrong, she heard Alya and Nino down the street, which meant they’d have to let go soon. 

Marinette also sighed into his hair, ruffling it with her breath, then reluctantly let him go. 

Adrien set her back on the ground just in time for Alya and Nino to come up the stairs.

“What? No pjs today?” Alya asked and Marinette rolled her eyes. “Har har. It was one time Alya.” The brunette shrugged, “Could happen again.” She smiled deviously, “Those Chat pjs were really something else though, I don’t think I’ve seen them being sold anywhere.” 

Adrien’s thoughts immediately ran to the ground. He tried to hide his blush and thought he had been successful until Marinette glanced over at him curiously. She looked away quickly and Nino nor Alya made a move to make fun of him so he must have hidden it, but why did she look at him?

Adrien had been trying hard not to think about the cute pjs she had worn the other day and the possessiveness he’d begun to feel towards her after. He also knew from personal web searches that those pjs were not being sold… which meant only one thing.

“Yeah, well, nobody can really sell them if I made them.” Marinette had responded as if it wasn’t of much conscience, it was anything but to her though. She was fighting hard not to blush and Adrien was in likewise a position. 

He’d thought it might have been possible, but he hadn’t wanted to push his luck. Why he would be pushing his luck if she’d made them herself, he wasn’t quite sure.

Alya’s smile only grew, “Oh? I didn’t take you to be such a hardcore fan.” 

Whatever Alya was doing, he wished she’d stop if only to keep his heart intact.

“I’m not,” Marinette responded and for a moment Adrien’s heart dropped but then she continued, “I just think he’s a little cute is all.”    
_ WHY?! Marinette, why would you dig yourself a hole like that! _ She yelled at herself. Now Alya was going to chew her up. She might as well go lay down in her grave now cause Alya was not going to be forgetting this any time soon. 

Oh she hoped Chat Noir never heard of this, he already had a big enough ego.

Meanwhile, said Chat Noir was standing beside her having a mental breakdown and was barely keeping the blush from his face, Plagg cackling softly all the while.  _ She thinks I’m cute. Marinette thinks I’m cute! _

He wasn’t sure if he should be thankful to Alya or not.

The five minute warning rang and left Marinette thankful this conversation would no longer continue. Without thinking, she hooked her arm in Adrien’s and ran up the steps, Alya’s cackle behind her loud even without Marinette’s strong hearing.

<◉>

Unfortunately, Adrien and Marinette had to separate because of their current seating and so it was with a heavy heart that they sat in their normal spots, their identical plans being temporarily held off.

When the lunch bell finally rang, Marinette was by Adrien’s side in seconds. 

He wanted to hold her again but held off. For some reason, not just the relief she brought, he liked holding her close, he realized that after he hugged her earlier.

It felt nice to have her in his arms, almost…  _ right _ .

They were led out the door and to the cafeteria by Alya and Nino. Marinette repeated only one thing in her head over and over. _ Please let me sit by Adrien. Please let me sit by Adrien _ .

She couldn’t be sure that she would be able to sit next to him, the cafeteria was busy and sometimes you just ended up the odd man out. She had no clue that Adrien had absolutely no plan to let her go anytime soon.

Marinette silently thanked Tikki that they arrived before all the seats were taken and that she had no problem with sitting beside Adrien.

After they sat down, they started on each of their lunches. Adrien had planned to at least finish his before he leaned against Marinette and fell asleep but his body had other plans. 

It was  _ exhausted _ , and so before he realized it, he was slumped in his spot with his head on her shoulder and he couldn’t find the energy to pull away.

Marinette herself was getting really tired. It felt safe next to Adrien. She tried to tell herself she didn’t know why but her mind unhelpfully argued it did. She shook the voice off anyways, that might only be a possibility. She didn’t know for certain. It was best not to wrongfully project the one she hoped to be Chat on him.

_ But is it really wrongful? _

She wanted to beat her hands against her head in frustration.

_ Yes! Yes it is! _

Then Adrien’s head fell on her shoulder, it surprised her out of her thoughts. She focused on the way his heartbeat was beginning to slow. He was falling asleep.

_ Matches doesn’t it? You should know why, I’m sure you’re right. _

Fighting with herself was really annoying. She couldn’t know. She couldn’t be right. So she would stop thinking about it. 

As Adrien drifted off to sleep, he started slumping lower and lower and the hand holding his sandwich began to fall. 

Seeing a fashion disaster waiting to happen, she quickly snapped up the sandwich just as it was about to fall and the mustard stain his pants. Then it looked as if Adrien himself was going to fall. Her arm was out and around his waist before she could think. She hugged him closer to her but didn’t let go just in case he began to fall again. 

“Soft…” he mumbled quiet enough that only she could possibly hear. 

Marinette felt grateful to have worn a sweatshirt today, even if it couldn’t fulfill its purpose in being a makeshift blanket for her to fall asleep in. 

Even though she knew it was unlikely he’d hear at this point, she still muttered fondly, “You owe me Agreste. Next time  _ you’re  _ watching over  _ me _ .” She could stave off her exhaustion a bit longer. Obviously Adrien needed the break.

He hummed softly as if agreeing to what she’d said.

She thought about what she was about to do next before deciding that it didn’t matter, he was asleep anyways and wouldn’t remember later. She kissed his forehead and whispered, “Sweet dreams, Adrien.” She hoped she was wrong about her suspicions.

Marinette sighed, it seems that she ended up being the teddy bear today.

Little did she know Alya had been recording the entire interaction. Oh this was definitely going to be put in the wedding video. For sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love cuddles!  
> Thank you for reading! <3  
> If you have any comments speculation or feedback I’d love to hear!
> 
> Next time we jump back into the angst!


	8. Fever Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I’ve made with 5K! Last chapter was close but in the past chapters I’ve written only up to 3K so this is fun.  
> I’m still on vacation with my family and have had little time to type up anymore chapters, therefore I don’t know if I’ll be able to get anything up on Monday or Wednesday. I may need to take a small break so I can catch up. If I get enough done on time, I’ll try to get it up though!  
> Please enjoy this chapter!
> 
>  **WARNING**  
>  This chapter will be making use of those nightmare, fire, and decay tags. Oh and there's bugs too. Maggots. Specifically maggots.
> 
> [Edited 23/11/20]

Two weeks. It’d been two weeks since Our Son. Since the beginning of this nightmare.

Time had been incredibly slow, as if crawling just to cause Marinette more pain. It mustn’t have helped that she couldn’t sleep to pass the time. That was probably a huge factor.

Time was starting to move a bit faster now that she had started falling asleep around Adrien.

It had sort of become a game now. 

She started bringing pillows she’d made for more comfort, and then he had started to bring pillows too. They always made sure to take them home at the end of the day but it was kind of becoming annoying to carry them everywhere. 

Since that first time at the park, Marinette and Adrien had continued to use the other as a sort of dream catcher or special teddy bear. They couldn’t sleep without the other being there. 

Neither of them discussed why they were so tired, nor did they ask questions of the other. It was a silent agreement. Or maybe it’d be better to say that both of them thought that as long as they didn’t ask, they wouldn’t be asked.

Instead, they were just there for each other. 

Sometimes they’d crash together. Others, they took turns watching over each other.

At first, it was a bit hard. They only had breaks together and sometimes lunch. Sometimes those just weren’t enough. 

They were getting more sleep than they had without each other, but it was still very little in general, so sometimes they would get tired during class.

The first time, it was Marinette. 

She could hear his heartbeat from her spot of course… as well as  _ thirteen others _ . 

It could get annoying being able to hear even the softest scratch of pencils, the small sighs, and their heartbeats as well. If all the small sounds had been distracting with normal ears, it was almost impossible to focus now.

She’d gotten better at tuning most of it out but she still slipped up now and then, especially when she was  _ really  _ tired. Like she was at that moment.

She just wanted to hear Adrien’s!  _ Only _ Adrien’s! That’s it! Maybe have it lull her to sleep again…

She’d started considering Adrien’s heartbeat to be her own personal lullaby. It wasn’t like anyone else could hear it like she could. 

Desperate for his heartbeat above all the others and extremely tired, she nonchalantly - _ she hoped it was nonchalant _ \- leaned ( _ slumped really _ ) forward some so that her hand would barely brush Adrien to get his attention.

_ Curse these large benches! _

Like everyone else, he was sitting close to the edge of his seat so that he could properly use the desk in front of him and therefore too far for her to be able to feel his heartbeat beneath her fingertips.

He startled at first, but when Mlle Bustier turned back to writing notes, he scooted back bringing his tablet with him.

Adrien had begun to realize that Marinette liked to be touching when she fell asleep. He didn’t know why. He knew that her touch was like a balm to him so it made sense why he wanted to touch, but he didn’t know why Marinette liked to be in contact. He was too afraid to ask though. She might start asking him questions and for the sake of his identity, he couldn’t have that. 

Her hand rested on his shoulder. Soon it relaxed and he was sure she’d fallen asleep. It was risky to fall asleep in class, especially so close to the front, so he’d tried hard not to, but with her calming touch, it was a losing battle.

Not too long after, he too was nodding off.

Alya and Nino, watching the entire thing, thought it amusing but if it kept up like this, both their friends would get in trouble and their attendance already sucked. 

They could lend the two sleepyheads a favor. 

After having seen an opportunity to help her friends get together and be able to sit next to her boyfriend, Alya switched seats with Adrien. She was fine with not watching them be all lovey dovey directly, after all, she had a compact mirror and she’d had Max make a small camera that now sat on the back of her bench just in case they were being adorable and Alya couldn’t take photos. She could still enjoy it all.

Their classmates found it funny to look over and see that at almost any time in the day, one of them was asleep.

One of the funniest times was when Adrien had ended up in Marinette’s lap. Her hand was in his hair as if she’d been running her fingers through the gold locks, but it had stilled, because she too had started to nod off above the sunshine child.

But what unfortunately came with amusement was annoyance at the fact that despite how coupley they’d been acting, neither of them had made a move. 

That was expected of Adrien, but you’d think that with all these opportunities Marinette would have taken one by now. She always seemed slightly distracted though.

A few days after the new arrangement had begun and two weeks after Our Son, it was Monday again. 

Now, Monday’s were usually terrible days, but since Our Son, for Marinette at least, it seemed as if Mondays were now cursed. 

Two weeks ago, Our Son. Last week, terrible nightmare. This week? 

After she’d finally begun to get more rest, the previous lack of sleep had finally caught up to her and now she had a terrible fever. 

Her body was exhausted and this was it demanding retribution. 

Marinette quickly pulled the chosen sweatshirt of the day over her head when she heard a gentle knocking at her trap door and said, “Come in.” her throat sore and her voice scratchy.

Alya lifted the trap door, “Hey girl, I heard that you weren’t feeling well…” That’s when she realized that Marinette was not in bed and in fact fully dressed. “What do you think you’re doing?” 

About forty minutes earlier, Marinette had come down from her room, unable to sit up there in sleepless silence, in search of cold medicine, and she’d been caught by her mother. 

Her mother had of course bedridden her and told her to rest, but that wasn’t possible and she couldn’t tell her Maman that so she’d simply nodded and waited for her to leave.

Once Sabine had left, Marinette got ready to head to school. If she was going to rest, then she needed Adrien. Though she would hate it if he caught her fever, if she was right, if that small voice in her head was right, he needed her as much as she needed him. Even if she didn’t need him and he her, she still would have left the house. There was no way she would have been able to fight off any of the demons that came to get her and break her mind and it would be absolute misery sinking further and further into the goopy mess of her head where the once clear words of her thoughts written in perfect calligraphy would melt off the page and drown her in their dark ink.

“What do you mean, ‘what am I doing?’ Aren’t I obviously getting ready for school?” She answered Alya, the fever making her forget that Alya was definitely on Sabine’s side in this. 

“Oh no you don’t.” She shook her head and charged the bluenette.

Unsteady on her feet, she was easily swept up by Alya who threw her over her shoulder like Marinette would a bag of flour. Alya climbed the steps to Marinette’s loft and tossed her a bit roughly onto her bed, quickly wrapping the blankets around the struggling girl in a tight cocoon so that she couldn’t get out. “What - _ huff _ \- are you doing?” She ground out through gritted teeth as she struggled against her confines and Alya’s weight.

The fox didn’t even bother answering her, instead she opened her mouth, about to shout. “Wait no-!” Marinette realized what she was going to do a little too late.

“Sabine! Mari’s trying to go to school!”

Marinette’s chances of getting to school were dropping very fast but she still struggled to find a way out of this situation. 

Sabine stormed up the stairs, her head popping up from the trap door. “She what now?!” Marinette cringed. How was she to leave now?

“Yeah! She was getting ready for school! She even told me just now!”

Sabine ran to the kitchen, “Well just hold her for now! The medicine she took makes her sleepy. I’ll get some tea going anyway, just in case!”

The tea was ready shortly and brought back up to Marinette’s room where she was forced to drink the tea to appease her mother enough that she’d leave again. Knowing how well Sabine’s teas work, Alya left to get to school before she was late. 

Marinette sat there for awhile, hoping that her new insomnia could fight off both the tea and the medicine long enough to get to Adrien. 

She tried to sit up and get out of bed… but her limbs felt heavy like lead. 

They wouldn’t listen to her.

Panic set in. She didn’t want to go to sleep. Not again. Not without Adrien. She didn’t want to face the nightmares again, the memories, the flames, the rot. She pulled again at her arms but it was as if the sticky ink in her mind had seeped from her skin and held her to the bed, locking her where she was.

nonononononono

No.

this can’t be happening

it cant

She felt the urge to scream if only to ease the pressure of fear building in her chest, pushing down on her, but her jaw wouldn’t work and all that came out of her mouth was some pitiful whimpers.

No. Please no. pleasepleasepleasespleaspelse

She wanted to call for Tikki. She could surely help her move, help her escape the memory of Death

His bony and ephemeral hands gripped at her throat, her heart, her lungs. She swore that she could here him cackling in utter joy.

He was here to torment her again.

Hands broke through the sheets and painfully grabbed at her arms and legs and  _ yanked _ .

“Tikki…” she whimpered at last, her voice broken, but it was too late, and she was swallowed into nothing.

<◉>

Adrien sat at his spot in the second row. 

It had been unnerving to come to school and Marinette not be there waiting for him, but then he shook it off. He shouldn’t expect her to be there for him all the time. She was her own person. She had a life outside of him and it wasn’t even until recently that she got up early, maybe she had slept in again?

He tried to reassure himself but her absence grated at him and he could slowly feel himself losing his nerves. It didn’t help that Plagg had also been acting weird since getting to the school. Sometimes his claws would poke through Adrien’s shirt and scratch him a bit.

He was okay. Everything was okay. So what if Marinette was late? Nino and Alya were here, he could get by. But the fire beneath his skin said differently.

The bell to start class rang and there was still no Marinette. He waited five minutes, watching the door as Mlle Bustier greeted the class and started roll call but Marinette still did not burst through it. 

Okay, maybe he wasn’t fine. 

Phantom fire lapped at him, nonexistently searing his skin. 

“Marinette?” Mlle Bustier called again after not receiving an answer the first time. She looked up from her tablet. “Has anyone seen Marinette?”

“Maybe she’s late.” Mylène offered. 

“Hmm, but she was doing so well recently…”

“Actually,” Alya raised her hand a little to grab everyone’s attention. “She had a fever today and had to stay home.”

Well crap.

Bustier’s eyes lit up in understanding, “Oh that’s a pity, would you mind bringing her her schoolwork today?” Alya nodded.

“Well then,” Bustier turned back to the rest of the class, “I’ll finish roll call and then we can get to work.”

Adrien curled in on himself, earning a concerned glance from Nino.

Today was going to really suck.

<◉>

Marinette ran.

She ran and ran and continued to run, flame biting at her heels. There was nothing around her and all she could see was maroon walls and floor.

An opening in the wall appeared and she dove into it, the fire rushing on and past her.

She sighed in relief and got up to continue down this new path when she saw Alya.

She was on the floor face down, Nino beside her. He looked up, “Nette! I’m so glad you’re here! She won’t wake up and I don’t know what to do!” 

Marinette, concerned for her friend, ran forward to help. She kneeled before her friend’s fallen form.

Something was wrong.

She gently shook Alya’s shoulder. “Alya?”

It happened all so fast, Alya’s arm snapped forward and grabbed Marinette’s wrist. Alya looked up and Marinette understood. Her eyes were that milky, unseeing white, her skin was purple and pale and cracked. Her nails were long and black and so sharp they cut into her skin. “Y _ o _ U _ r _ f _ A _ uL _ t _ … a _ L _ l yO _ U _ …” she didn’t sound like Alya. Her voice was devoid of any emotion and it was wrong, all wrong.

“Nino,” she reached for the DJ. Her hand sunk in something sticky, not stopping where she thought it should have. There was a squelch that followed her stumble and then a foul smell on par with the stench she smelled when Chat burned filled her nose.

She slowly turned her head. 

Her hand was in Nino’s chest, maggots crawling all over her fingers.

The boy was missing his hat, an arm, and his eyes. His jaw was twisted at an angle it shouldn’t have been, as if it had been yanked off and was only being held by the fast degrading skin that had lost all its normal warmth.

She jumped back from Alya and Nino, her hand ripping out of Nino’s empty chest, catching on the exposed bone of his broken open ribs and tearing skin, her wrist being scratched by Alya’s nails as she held on, eventually having her arm rip out of its socket before falling limp to the floor.

Alya continued to squirm, trying to get Marinette as she repeated those awful words, the ones she repeated to herself far more often than she’d like to admit,  _ “Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.” _

Marinette looked down at her left hand, the one that had fallen into Nino, and it was covered in black, rotting flesh and maggots that tried to worm their way under her skin. She shrieked and whipped her hand out, dislodging the nasty things.

She took another step back but tripped and fell, why did she have to be clumsy now of all times?

When she looked though, she realized it wasn’t her clumsiness that caused her to fall, it was Alya’s other arm. It held to her leg the same way her other hand had held to her wrist.

Marinette kicked at the thing, wanting it off, as she crawled backwards. 

Right as the arm let go, her hand slipped. Her eyes widened as she was swallowed up by darkness, tumbling down... 

down...

down…

_ Crack _ . 

Her body hit the bottom hard and she was sure  _ something  _ had broken.

When she checked though, she was only sore, but that’s when she noticed the pile of bones she’d fallen on top of. Marinette stiffened at the sight but had her attention quickly taken by something else when a light flickered on before her.

The room had the same rough maroon walls as earlier but there were torches lighting it so that every corner could be seen.

Our Son stood before her, two large glass cases on either side. His eyes glowed but they looked dead, he wore a smile, but it was empty. There was a large lever in front of him.

He flung his arms out, “Finally the main character has arrived!” He lowered his arms and bowed, “Welcome Ladybug.”

She looked down and noted to herself that she was not suited up at all but she didn’t freak out. For some reason she just didn’t feel like she needed to and she didn’t know why.

He straightened, the glow in his eyes blazed, “Now, I have a game for you. Look to the cases if you will.”

When she looked again, the one on the left held Chat Noir who looked confused and lost, in the right was Adrien, frightened and wide eyed.

“You can only save one.”

She hated these cliched games. She hated seeing them every time they appeared on tv shows and movies. She had more reason to hate them now.

“Choose who you care for the most and he will be saved, the other will burn.” To add emphasis, the torches surrounding the room blazed with excitement.

“If you fail to choose one in the next minute, they will both go up in flames.” He snapped and an hourglass appeared behind him.

“You will start…  _ now _ .”

The hourglass flipped and sand began to fall.

Marinette thought. There must be a way to save them both.

She grabbed a bone from the pile she sat on and ran to the case on the right, Adrien’s case. She smacked it hard against the glass, hoping it’d shatter, but nothing happened and her arms were sore with the impact.

“Tut tut, little ladybug, there’s no way to break the glass unless I say so.” Our Son shook his head. 

Proving his point, he walked up to Adrien’s case, Adrien ducked with his arms over his head, and punched it hard enough to cause the air to reverberate and send her off her feet, but the glass remained unscathed.

He walked back to where he’d been standing before and said, “Now I believe you have a decision to make, only thirty seconds left after all. Here, I’ll help you.”

He snapped his finger again and small holes appeared in the cases, making her now able to hear them.

“Ladybug, please save me!” Adrien said, banging his fists against the glass. 

Across from him, Chat Noir tried calling Cataclysm. When the black darkness of destruction formed in his hand, he clawed the glass, hoping it to work.

However the glass remained and his power was gone.

He turned to Marinette, fear coating his features. 

“Please,” he whimpered, “Don’t let me burn again.”

His plea struck through her heart as she remembered her vow two weeks back:

_ She couldn’t take her eyes away from the horrible sight of her partner dying in front of her, couldn’t make herself look away, and like the flames that burned at his body, the sight burned itself into her mind, never to be forgotten, and with it the vow to  _ never. ever. _ let him take a hit like this again.  _ **Ever** .

“Tick tock,” Our Son said, tapping at his wrist.

He flickered and Marinette saw purple and grey for a moment before his form solidified again.

Marinette helplessly looked between the two boys she cared for. 

She couldn’t choose.

“Time’s running out!” The joy in Our Son’s voice was palpable. 

As her allotted time grew closer and closer to an end, Marinette noticed that the more excited Our Son got, the more he flickered in and out of existence and she saw pieces of another person.

“Five…” he began counting.

“Four…” Adrien and Chat were now screaming at her to please, please help them.

“Three…” Our Son’s smile grew impossibly wider.

“Two…” The last of the grains of sand were slipping through to the bottom.

“O-”   
“Alright! Alright! I’ll choose!” Marinette shouted. The last grain stopped, frozen above the tunnel of glass.

“Well then, who do you pick?” He asked.

Marinette swallowed, “I… I pick-”

“Yes?” he leaned forward over the large lever in front of him.

“I choose…”

“Come now girl, don’t keep me waiting.” He drawled.

“I choose myself!” she remembered from her last nightmare how she wished it’d been her. Now she can make it up to Chat, she looked to him with a wobbly smile. He could only watch her with despair.

Our Son’s grin could have cut his face open.

“As you wish.”

A portion of fire from each of the torches leapt to her and swallowed her in agony.

She screamed, finally understanding Chat’s pain.

She looked to her crush and then her partner. Even if it hurt, she would have chosen this again and again, so long as she could save them.

There was a cackle in front of her and even as her limbs melted, she snapped her attention to its owner.

The man that stood there was no longer Our Son.

The man that now stood there was none other than Hawkmoth.

“You poor poor girl. Thought you had won, did you?” He pushed the lever -what she now recognized to be his cane- forward.

Fire poured down from above, consuming Adrien and Chat Noir. The fire around her extinguished itself, leaving her unharmed.

Adrien and Chat screamed and Marinette fell to her knees.

“Why?” she asked, her voice terribly empty and sad and wounded and- despaired. “Why would you do that? I picked, didn't I?” It cracked on the last two words as tears built and burned in her eyes. 

Hawkmoth cackled, “Oh your poor little bug! I only kept my word and you didn’t choose one of them. I thought I told you only one of  _ them  _ could be saved and that if you failed to choose  _ one  _ then they’d  _ both  _ go up in flames!”

Screams echoed through the cavern, skin melting off, burning away and making that terrible smell, bones cracking under the heat of the fire. Adrien died quickly and she felt that familiar sick relief that he didn’t suffer long, but Chat continued to scream, just like then.

She’d failed him again.

“You pitiful kitten, you trusted your Lady to save you, and yet she has brought about your ruin.” The glass shattered. “Don’t you wish to obtain revenge?”

One of Marinette’s worst fears was coming true as her beloved  _ Minou _ took a step towards her.

She still wouldn’t run though. She could never run from him. Not even if he’d turned against her.

He stood before her, a single step away from her. Marinette could feel the inferno greedily grab at her.

Dread held her heart. His eyes were empty.

Then he lifted his arm, slow but sure, and wrapped his hand around her throat.

His eyes focused on her and they were no longer her  _ Chaton’s _ . Her  _ Chaton _ could never look at someone with such terrible anger and hate.

He lifted her off the ground and above him. He burned her just as he squeezed on her throat, claws drawing blood.

His lips peeled back in a feral growl, “This. Is. Your. Fault.”

Tears spilled over her cheeks but were gobbled up by the flame that consumed Chat Noir.

He squeezed just a bit harder but she still did not fight. She didn’t want to fight him. She didn’t want them to fight, period. She didn’t want to separate, whether it be through life or death, through illness or life circumstances.

She wanted it to be the two of them against the world, always. She wanted to be the two halves of a whole they were.

Desperately she reached out with her mind. 

Surely he must still be in there. Her precious  _ Minou _ .

She searched for a heartbeat.

_ His  _ heartbeat.

Even as his kind hands tightened more and more around her neck, pain stabbing through her mind, causing it to panic.

_ Even then, _ she searched for his heart.

But no matter how deep she searched, it simply wasn’t there.

_ It wasn’t there. _

His heartbeat, her  _ Chaton,  _ wasn’t there anymore.

_ He was gone. _

Her eyes widened at the realization.

It was already too late.

Fists clenched, air was stolen.

_ Snap. _

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Marinette’s bloodcurdling scream filled the bakery and echoed through the neighborhood, even reaching the school. 

It was the sound of second hand death. 

The cry of someone who had lost their most beloved.

The missing sound from that day her world burned down was now found, and the raw sorrow and pain that tore through her throat tore at the hearts of all those who heard. 

<◉>

Adrien had been handling school well without Marinette, barely being able to hold back the fire that had buried and made its home in his skin.

He’d gotten half way through math class when he’d heard it. 

When they’d  _ all _ heard it.

A scream.

A scream that reverberated within their very souls.

Adrien had shot out of his seat while others looked around in fear and confusion. 

He didn’t know who it was that had made such a heart wrenching sound, but even then, every fiber of his body  _ shouted _ “ **Protect!** ”

Plagg’s claws scraped mercilessly against his skin.

He needed to go. Hundreds of voices ran through his head, all agreeing that  _ she _ should  _ never _ make that sound.

“Adrien? Where are you going? Adrien?!”

As he ran out, Adrien noticed how Alya and Nino had completely frozen, looking like they did on the day of the Bunsen Burner Incident.

<◉>

Marinette huffed in her bed, soaked in sweat, Tikki floated above her in worry. 

“Are you-” She started but was cut off by Sabine, “Marinette? Was that you honey? Are you alright?”

Marinette stayed quiet, pulling her covers closer and trying to calm herself.

She was in her room, none of that had happened. It was all a dream. A fever dream.

Sabine came up, “Marinette? Oh, you’re still asleep. I suppose that’s a good thing. You didn’t hear  _ it.”  _ Her voice quivered on that last word, as if she was about to break down in tears just from the  _ mention _ of  _ it.  _ She turned around and went back downstairs to the bakery.

Once she could no longer hear her mother, she hauled herself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom before throwing up.

After she’d cleared out her already empty stomach, she stumbled back to her bed, where Tikki was waiting, tearing off her sweatshirt to reveal the camisole beneath.

“Are you alright?” She finally asked.

“No.” Marinette croaked. “No I’m not.”

She opened her window and despite her sweaty palms and bare feet, she climbed down the side of the building. She snuck around the back before taking off down the street to the school, Tikki in her hair, not caring one bit about the looks she got.

<◉>

He wasn’t sure at first who he was looking for, but he ran in the direction of the scream anyway. 

He heard  _ her  _ before he saw her. 

The one he was looking for. This he knew somehow.

He heard the tired panting of a girl who was sick but still running, the slap of bare feet on the concrete.

Then she came into view, running right for him.

She looked like a mess.

Her hair was disheveled and unbrushed, she had a scrape on her elbow from having tripped already, she was deathly pale yet her cheeks flamed red.

He stopped in front of her but she continued, crashing into him.

Marinette sobbed, holding him close, her knees giving out beneath her. “You’re alright, you’re alright…” she mumbled over and over, whether it was to him or herself, he couldn’t be sure. 

She started to slip so he grabbed her by the waist.

“Let me stay, don’t make me go home.” she said.

Adrien didn’t understand what was going on but agreed nonetheless. He didn’t know what had happened nor what to do but she obviously needed him so he would be there for her.

He thought of where to go. 

There wasn’t really anywhere he could think of. He didn’t want to bring her to his house, it was far too cold and she needed something warm but she’d said she didn’t want to go home either. He might have gone to the park but today they were holding an event and so there wouldn’t be much privacy. If he had been Chat, he could’ve taken her anywhere within Paris. There was no shortage of rooftops they could hide on. But he wasn’t Chat and the only close choice would have been the school. There’s not that many places to hang out in the school though… except for maybe the library. Nobody would be going there at this time and there were plenty of little sofa chairs behind bookcases in corners and other places that could hide them relatively well should someone come in.

Adrien made his choice.

He swept her up in a princess carry, because, of course, he was carrying his princess. He was gentle and held her close to him like she was the most precious thing in the world and it calmed her greatly.

He made sure not to jostle her too much as he ran. 

She didn’t know where they were going, but she trusted him.

For some inconceivable reason, she trusted him.

_ Maybe not so inconceivable. _ Her mind whispered back.

It was a constant now, the retort.

She wouldn’t let it get to her, she didn’t know and she didn’t need to.

Marinette fell asleep as Adrien ran.

While running to the school, he passed a vending machine and paused for a moment. Carefully balancing Marinette in one arm, he bought a couple of water bottles and continued running to the school.

Thanks to years of being Chat Noir, he was light on his feet and therefore was able to get to the library without much noise, which meant no unwanted attention.

After some looking, he found one of the corner chairs hidden from view by multiple shelves and sat down, still holding Marinette close.

She looked sick and when he felt her forehead, he found she had a fever. If he hadn’t heard her scream then he would have been wondering what she was doing walking around with a fever, but obviously something had happened. 

Despite his growing curiosity, he wouldn’t pursue if she didn’t want to talk.

Marinette stirred. 

“Adrien?” she blinked up at him.

“Yes, I’m Adrien.” 

She looked around a little but still not hopping off his lap. “Are we in the library?”   
“You told me you didn’t want to go home and I didn’t know where else to go so I came here.”

“Oh. Okay.” She seemed to recall running into him and curled in on herself, wincing.

“I heard you scream,” he started hesitantly and she flinched, he continued, unsure if she did or didn’t want to talk. “Want to talk about what happened?”

Marinette tried very hard to bury herself in Adrien’s chest but there was the boundary known as flesh and therefore didn’t get very far. She breathed in his scent and listened to his heartbeat next to her ear. He was alive and smelled nothing like those terrible fumes, but instead like a forest, the smell of wood and a bubbling creek, refreshing and cool. There was the hint of something warm just beneath and a scent she could only describe as him. A sunshine sort of smell. 

“I- I had a nightmare…” Adrien knew from the way she’d screamed that there was no way it was just anything, but from her tone and how she tried to hide further, she didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t press.

“Alright, well, you’re safe now.” He didn’t know what he was promising, how could she be safe now when she hadn’t been in danger? She still giggled against his chest anyways so he supposed it was fine.

“I got you some water.” he offered one of the waters in his hand to her and she greedily drank half of it before leaning against him, tired again. He took a sip from his as well.

“Can I just sleep here?” she asked and he didn’t know why. They’d fallen asleep with each other a lot lately, there really wasn’t any reason to ask anymore.

“Of course,” he had a hard time not tacking on a “princess” at the end of that sentence, practically had to bite his tongue to keep from saying it. He ran a hand through her hair, hoping it felt as nice and comforting as when she or Ladybug did it. 

She hummed in quiet delight before drifting off.

“I wonder what happened Plagg.” He continued to run his fingers through the midnight of her hair. 

The kwami floated in front of him and shook his head before staring at the girl with a surprising amount of worry.

_ Maybe it’s not just my kitten that we should worry about. _

From a pocket in Marinette’s sweatpants, Tikki wept for the pain of her owner.

Plagg stifled the need to go in there and comfort Tikki.

After a few minutes, Marinette started to get restless and gripped at Adrien’s shirt, only calming down a little when she pulled herself closer to his chest.

In an attempt to soothe her, he began to purr and her slumber after that was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t see very many vending machines where I live and realized I had no clue if Paris had any so I searched it up, and of course they have vending machines. I did learn something though! They like to put their bottles in upside down! So that was interesting.  
> Thank you for reading! <3  
> If you have any comments, feedback, or speculation, I’d love to hear them!
> 
> Summary:  
> Marinette has another nightmare. But this one's worse. Chased by fire, she jumps into a side hallway where she finds Nino and Alya. Alya's collapsed with Nino wondering what to do by her side. When Mari approaches, a rotting Alya "wakes" up and grabs Mari, blaming her for her situation. When Mari reaches for Nino, he's dead and also rotting. Mari backs away and falls into a hole, landing on bones. When she realizes where she is, Chat Noir and Adrien are held captive by Our Son. Our Son says Mari can only save one of them and she has a minute to choose. Mari chooses herself but that wasn't exactly allowed so both boys go up in flames. Our Son turns out to be a psychotic Hawkmoth. Adrien dies first but like in the first chapter, Chat continues to suffer. Hawkmoth sics Chat on Mari and he chokes her, saying it was her fault. But it wasn't the blame that got to Mari, it was the fact that Chat was no longer Chat, that once again she'd killed him and this time he was really gone. Mari dies and wakes up screaming loud enough that it echoed throughout the neighborhood and reached the school.


	9. The Remnants of Terror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 kudos! When I saw that after updating the last chapter last week, I couldn't believe it. Thank you all so much!!! <3  
> I was a bit busy this past week so I wasn't able to update but I spent the time preparing for the rest of the story, I hope you guys like what I've got!  
> If you hadn't noticed, I went through the last chapters and made some edits including warnings at the beginning of chapters that need it. Hopefully they're helpful.  
> A big thank you to Nymphadora88 and Bex! Your guys' comments from last chapter really helped me finish this one.  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> [Edited 23/11/20]

When Marinette woke up, it was to the sound of a heartbeat and the warmth of the living. 

Her hands were clenched in something soft and a blanket was around her shoulders but she was sitting up and leaning onto something on her left side. 

It expanded and deflated in a steady rhythm, warmth bleeding through a layer and to her fingertips. 

“…rinet…”

Her eyes fluttered slightly open to a vision of soft black with a yellow, green, and blue horizontal stripe, and further to a room of books. 

Her eyelids closed again, still tired and weary from the day. 

Her body ached with remnant fire from the morning. Her throat hurt to swallow and she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep in this comfortable place. She nuzzled into what held her, her nose rubbing little circles and causing a string of soft delighted purrs that only she could hear. 

Sleep filled her mind in a welcome fog and she was so close to slipping into its brace but the nagging voice of reality wouldn’t let her. 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” It ordered. 

“Ugh,” she groaned and glared at the source of what interrupted her rest, already placing an identity to the irritating noise. 

“Alya.”

She loved her friend and she would love to get up and hug her after the nightmare she’d had but she could do that  _ after _ she got some more sleep. Definitely not before. 

“What in the world are you doing out of your house?!” The brunette ordered, already in her Anger Stage 3 pose. She bowed forward, hands on both hips, her feet splayed wide and she was glaring at Marinette with the ferocity of a tigress. 

“Sleeping obviously.” She grumbled in response. She was too worn to deal with Alya so she snuggled closer to the coziness that held her to prove that she was done talking. 

Alya sighed and stood up properly but she kept her hands on her hips. A clear sign Marinette was not going to be able to go back to sleep just yet. 

“Why did you leave your home, make your parents wonder what happened to you, and somehow get to the school barefoot, all to sleep with Adrien?” 

Something in her mind clicked into place, defining what it was she was still curled up on, and she could feel the beginnings of a nervous breakdown that might have usually woken her up properly but she was really just  _ done _ with everything. 

She didn’t want to waste anymore energy in the land of the wakeful, whether that be to freak out about the fact she was  _ asleep in Adrien’s lap _ or to think about how much trouble she could be in for leaving her home unattended while sick. She really didn’t give a crap and if Alya asked, it was very,  _ very _ possible she would just out herself as Ladybug just to get her off her back so she could  _ sleep _ for heaven’s sake!

Marinette made a mental note to sleep more in class because being this willing to do anything for sleep would not help anybody and she could do the work in the middle of the night. Or she could just lure Chat Noir to her balcony. Yes, perfect. That would be a great thing to try later when she could make a proper plan to get him into her bed so she could use him like a teddy kitten because she was sure he’d have the same effect as Adrien. Hopefully she’d even remember the idea… in about ten minutes when she’d fully awake, she likely won’t.

“Dream catcher. Cn’t sleep without ‘im.” Marinette slurred.

Alya stared at Marinette as if she were a little girl throwing a tantrum over her favorite toy and saying she won’t take a nap until it’s found. She didn’t care. Alya could stare all she wants but there was  _ no way _ she was getting her off Adrien. 

The heartbeat beneath her ear started to pick up and soon Adrien too was groaning as he was pulled out of sleep. 

“Nooo~” Marinette whined. 

She didn’t want him to wake yet. He’d have to move then and she wanted to stay here in this comfortable place a little longer, wrapped in his warmth and his jacket. 

“Hey dude.” Another voice picked up from the side of Alya.

_ Oh great. Nino is here too.  _ She must not have noticed with her sleep addled brain. Which reminded her to get back to sleep so she nuzzled Adrien again in hopes that it would convince him to go back to sleep. 

Unfortunately her antics didn’t work and he rose a hand to rub at his eyes, meaning there was one less hand wrapped around her. Marinette pouted. 

“Fine, take your time getting up, I’m calling your parents.” Alya grumbled to Marinette as she took out her phone from her back pocket, all the while mumbling something like “almost called a freaking police squad to go find you…” 

Alya walked away and turned in another direction as she got on the phone to tell a grateful Sabine that her daughter was just at school, leaving Nino to deal with the two sleepyheads. 

“So what happened dude?” He asked. “There was that… that…” he shuddered at the memory but the tremors didn’t stop, “ _ scream _ and you just got up and left.”

Adrien blinked wearily at his best friend and drew Marinette closer without thinking much about it. “I don’t really know Nino, I just got up and ran and found Marinette panicking.” He left out a few details but those were personal. 

Nino nodded, not quite convinced but still shaken from the earlier scream so he let it be. After all, he’d reacted quite irrationally as well. 

Nino  _ knew _ the emotions behind that scream. 

Alya hung up. She too had reacted but it was without understanding what she was doing. She turned back to the conversation. 

“After you left, Nino grabbed onto me and wouldn’t let go for the rest of class. Though I didn’t really mind, I also ended up unable to let him go. It was weird… like, I felt as if something was going to take him away. Permanently.” Alya gained a far off look and Nino fidgeted at the thoughts he’d already run trails through, a goodbye present from Mania. 

Marinette felt bad. She was the one who had made that scream after all. Sure, she had good reason to cry out like that, but she didn’t have good reason to remind Nino of his pain nor did she have good reason to instill the fear in everyone else. 

How her scream had managed to reach as far as the school, she hadn’t a clue, and she wondered how far it really went. How many people did she scare today?

She cringed again at the thoughts, trying unsuccessfully to release the death grip she held on Adrien’s shirt. 

Adrien looked down at Marinette who continued to stay in his lap. It almost made him purr in happiness. He wanted to stay like this forever, but her mother and father were worried about her and she needed to get home. 

_ Unlike  _ your _ father.  _

He ignored the whisper in his head. 

Alya promised to help her get home. Nino wanted to go with Adrien but it was now after school and Gabriel was very unlikely to be in a good mood. Who knew what he’d do to Nino if he saw him? So he suggested Nino go with Alya. 

Before they separated, he grabbed Marinette’s hand.

“Promise me you’ll get some sleep? I wouldn’t want your fever to get worse.”

Marinette looked at him tiredly, hesitating for a moment before she opened her mouth, then closed it, and simply nodded. 

She turned away and Adrien started heading home.

Adrien would have to suffer through Gabriel’s lecture and possible punishment for not only skipping school again  _ (which was a  _ privilege,  _ he was often reminded) _ , he was also either late for or skipping whatever was planned for him today. 

Still, he could not bring himself to regret it. 

Marinette had needed him and he had been there for her. She promised to get some more rest as her fever was still there and he believed her. 

<◉>

Marinette watched the passing pedestrians from her perch on Nino’s back. After being told to come with her by Adrien, he’d offered a piggy back saying that she was sick and without shoes so she shouldn’t be walking about outside. 

She could already feel the fever getting worse. 

Alya went on and on about how worried she, Sabine, and Tom had gotten but she only pretended to be listening to her friend’s reprimands.

Marinette had promised Adrien she’d rest but she didn’t know how she’d do that without him. She was too afraid to go back to sleep. If her family or Alya forced her to take a tea that helped sleep again, she’d scream. There was  _ no way _ she was going through a repeat of earlier. No way in hell.

They reached the bakery doors. The shop was closed. Now  _ that…  _ that was a very bad sign.

Marinette practically shrank in on herself trying to hide behind Nino.

Yes, Marinette was Ladybug and Ladybug went against really dangerous supervillains on a daily basis, but not even Ladybug could go against her own parents when they were upset. And rightfully so. 

Sabine and Tom were not the type to easily be upset. It takes a lot to do that. They were probably angry she’d left and worried because she was sick.

Nino patted her leg sympathetically.

She was set on the ground to take the last few steps into the establishment on her own. 

Marinette pushed the glass door open to a silent and darkened shop, only lit by the warm glow of sunset spilling in through the windows. The bell hanging from the door rang eerily in the empty bakery. Marinette could have sworn that it was ringing out the announcement of her death.

“Hey  _ Maman, _ Papa.” Marinette called as loud as she dared. “I… I’m home!” 

Though she hadn’t been very loud, that seemed to do the trick. Loud thumping and crashes came from above as her parents stumbled downstairs to the bakery.

“Marinette!” They cried. Sabine hugged her tightly and then Tom hugged both of them, lifting them into the air. 

“We were so worried!” Sabine exclaimed. “I’m- I’m okay.” Marinette replied though it had been hard being squished and all.

Tom set them down and Sabine let go immediately, backing away with a scowl. “That’s right young lady! You can’t just climb out the  _ window  _ when you’re  _ sick! _ How did you even get out through there?!” Marinette winced from Sabine’s shrill voice. It didn’t just hurt her new hearing, it hurt her head. She couldn’t complain though.

Sabine started to sob, bringing her hands up to her face, “I went up to check on you to see how well you were to eat lunch and you were just- just- just gone! We had no idea where you went. You could have collapsed somewhere and we wouldn’t know. Your fever could have gotten worse or someone could have taken advantage of you…” Sabine was not the type to worry about all the ‘what if’s. She was the type to trust what is and can flow with what will be. She was usually the more confident of the married couple with Tom being the one worrying. But he stayed quiet the entire time. It really showed how affected they’d been.

“I’m sorry  _ Maman _ …” Marinette reached for her mother. “I’m really sorry.”

Marinette hugged Sabine and Tom, her father not being as enthusiastic the second time, waiting for Sabine to calm. Nino and Alya watched from the doorway.

After she’d calmed down, Nino and Alya had left, wishing Marinette a quick recovery, and Sabine led Marinette back up to bed. Dinner was brought up shortly. It was Sabine’s special noodle soup for whenever Marinette got sick. Apparently it was a recipe taught to her by  _ her  _ Mama.

Marinette cried from the comfort it brought as she ate it. 

<◉>

Later that night, Chat Noir could be seen leaping across the rooftops. 

It was a joint patrol today. 

Adrien had indeed suffered for being a little late. He’d listened to an hour lecture from Nathalie and then had been informed on his… _new_ _schedule_ for the week. 

Adrien’s punishment was a full schedule that even cut into some school hours. The week would be misery for sure. What made it all sting more though was the fact that it hadn’t even been Gabriel himself to deliver the punishment, it had been his assistant. 

He was bitter about that.

On his way to the meeting spot, Chat had almost mishandled his pole or taken a misstep several times due to how tired he was. He wasn’t sure how he was going to function properly for the next week with the time he had with Marinette cut down. He’d have to come up with something. 

For now, he just needed to get through patrol without going splat on the pavement, he can think about the rest later, when he’s not tired...  _ if  _ he’s not tired.

When he arrived, Ladybug was already there. She was leaning against a building that was close enough it could have been part of the building she stood on, and looked as if she was going to fall asleep. 

Before he landed on the opposite edge of the roof, she looked up at him, as if she knew when he’d be there.

Her eyelids drooped, her cheeks were bright red and the rest of her face was pale. She stood up properly, swaying and looking like she’d collapse at any moment.

Worry spiking, Chat’s mind cleared enough for him to run for her, just in time to catch her from falling.

“H-hey Chat.” She offered a weak smile. Her hair was limp and stuck to her forehead. He could now clearly see the sheen of sweat on her face. “What happened?!” he all but shouted, something was clearly wrong.

She gave a small chuckle that quickly turned to a series of coughs. Chat rubbed comforting circles on her back until it was over. When the coughing fit had passed, she sighed, “Just- just a bit sick is all. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh.” 

Things suddenly clicked. They tried not to talk much about what happened two weeks ago, but they both knew that the other suffered from it. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t  _ want  _ to talk about it, it's just that it already haunted them so much they didn’t want to spend anymore time thinking about it. So instead, they just silently kept each other company, talking of everything and nothing. Anything to not have to think about that day.

Chat hugged Ladybug closer to him and slid down to the ground, resting against the wall behind them. “We can’t go on patrol today My Lady. You need to rest.”

She leaned against him, a small smile coming to her lips as if she found something funny. 

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

That shocked Chat. Ladybug was the responsible one, the type that tried her best to do what she’s said she’ll do, so he had at least expected her to fight him a little.

She looked at him like she knew  _ exactly  _ what he was thinking.

“Even I know I need to rest Chat.” She looked down, “Besides, I promised someone I’d sleep.” She’d said it quietly enough that it was likely he wasn’t meant to hear it. She wasn’t supposed to know how well he could hear. He’d only mentioned it once. Little did he know that she  _ knew  _ he could hear her when she said that, or how she wanted him to hear it.

He wondered who it was she promised.

She shivered beside him, drawing him out of his musings. 

“Are you cold?” She shouldn’t be cold, the suits protected them from outside temperatures. “J-just a l-little.” Her teeth chattered. So he drew her close, practically pulling her into his lap. 

She nuzzled him a little and shifted in his embrace. The action made his heart skip a beat and he wondered at the strange sense of familiarity he felt from it.

Soon her shaking stopped, her breathing evened, and she fell into a restful sleep. 

Adrien wasn’t needed for the rest of the night. Surely he could stay here. It felt nice being here, He could feel the beginnings of a purr.

Holding his Lady close, his head fell to rest on Ladybug’s, and he slipped into slumber.

<◉>

Nooroo had been acting strange for most of the morning. Gabriel figured it was due to the stress of emotions spawned from the trauma he had unknowingly created. 

Gabriel didn’t like using those people as akuma, they more often couldn’t function properly, debilitated by the already strong emotions becoming stronger. There were a few that would work every now and then but it was rare. So though he could feel a constant stream of emotions not his through his bond with Nooroo, he’d learned to shut out the constant buzz.

Still, despite the constant negative emotions, Nooroo didn’t often let them affect him. He’d been dealing with it for millenia, surely he had gotten somewhat used to it, and yet, he’d been skittish all morning. 

Though Gabriel should look into it, he was still a busy man, he didn’t have time to deal with the thing’s nervous flitting about. So he ignored it.

The hum in the back of his head was starting to get annoying about halfway through the morning. It had become so strong that it was beginning to give him a headache. He couldn’t work like this. 

So he decided to stop ignoring Nooroo and figured that maybe he could get an akuma out of this, maybe make the annoying pain go away.

The elevator beneath his feet brought him to his secret lair. Butterflies fluttered about, unusually active.

Nooroo zoomed right over to him, like he was going to tell him something, but Gabriel wasn’t in the mood to listen to the annoying creature, so he snarled his transformation phrase before the little being could even start. 

_ Damn kwami, _ he thought with venom. He hated using the very thing which stole his wife from him, but what else could he do? It was the only way to get her back.

Nooroo had once been something more than a tool to him, but that was almost half a decade ago. 

The moment the transformation was over though, he forgot all about his personal vendetta, having a storm of emotion crash down on him.

He gasped at its strength and almost fell to his knees, instead doubling over.

Pain like a thousand knives stabbed at him from everywhere and nowhere at once. It felt like he was being torn apart, but it was nothing compared to the torrent of feelings that confronted him when  _ that  _ happened.

A scream resounded in his ears, long and terrible. It felt as if it would shred his insides, leave him hollow and empty. It echoed throughout the room, continuously bombarding him with new and unknown pain but even when it had ended, the pain did not relent, for along the way, the agony had shifted and turned something familiar. Something painfully painfully familiar.

He shouted and screamed, holding his hands to his head like they could stop the feeling of it bursting apart, he stumbled, no longer knowledgeable of where he stood, but nothing he did could stand against that wretched scream and what it had unleashed in him.

Tears of grief poured from his eyes and he looked up at the ceiling, but he didn’t see it, instead his vision was  _ filled  _ with Emilie.

Emilie. Emilie. Emilie, Emilie, Emilie Emilie EmileEmilieEmilieEmilie-

_ Emilie.  _

Memories of beautiful days in the sun tugged at his feet like mud. They crawled up his legs as the scenes changed to a day in Tibet, snow glistening off the peaks… and something else.

She had been so happy then. So  _ vibrant  _ as she pointed to the objects they’d searched long and hard for, a forsaken temple staring up at them from below.

Their days were filled with small little creatures that ran about Adrien’s feet and butterflies that would tickle his nose, causing a wonderful peal of laughter that filled their garden and made it seem larger than it ever could have been.

Emilie would sit from within the shade on her bench, watching as their terribly young son played with little beings made of stone and roses, his toys becoming animated with a life of their own, and she would smile. 

They had tried to let Adrien go out once, but his world, unlike many others, was full of magic that nobody understood. He had been teased and told that he’d made it all up. They couldn’t exactly let one of the sentimonsters go out with him to prove he was correct, so instead they kept him in, away from the hands of those who could hurt him, and he was happier this way.

Soon however, clouds covered the son, and Emilie began to cough up blood. 

She’d been getting weaker and weaker but he hadn’t known how bad it’d been.

He took her to many doctors but none could tell him the cause. They were just as baffled.

All the while, those  _ wretched  _ kwami stayed away, and if he paid attention, they almost seemed…  _ guilty _ . 

Finally, Gabriel realized that she got worse every time she used the miraculous. They didn’t understand why as Gabriel had not suffered at all.

So they stopped using the miraculous until something could be learned. Sentimonsters, magical butterflies, and small flying beings disappeared from Adrien’s life, and surprisingly, likely due to his young age and with Chloe continually telling him that he imagined it all, he forgot about them.

For awhile, things were fine… at least, that’s what he had thought.

Emilie, to keep Gabriel from worrying, had stopped mentioning her symptoms, hidden them, and secretly went to Nathalie about it instead of him. Despite knowing it hurt her, she continued to use the peacock miraculous, though over longer periods of time. 

Emilie was an actress, she hid her health well, and Gabriel only found out about what was happening when it was too late.

She collapsed one day.

Nathalie had run to her, expertly caring for her as if she’d done it a million times, like an oiled machine.

When Emilie’s eyes opened, they were dazed and far away. “Gabriel?” she asked.

He held her hand, “I’m here love, tell me, what is it?” 

She was extraordinarily calm as she told him what she’d been doing. “I’m sorry Gabriel, I kept using Duusu, it’s not her fault, she’s just a little broken is all. Please don’t blame them for not telling you, I asked them not to.” Her voice was soft and sweet as she spoke, as if the kwamis were her own children. “I couldn’t not use Duusu’s powers, she always got so happy when she saw my creations come to life. Nooroo told me this would likely happen. Duusu has an idea, but please don’t tell her, she’d be devastated to know that it was her powers that did this.”

“Why? Why are you talking like this Emilie? It’s as if you’re giving me your dying wishes…” He asked her, holding tightly to the hand that had begun to become heavier, her eyelids were drooping more each second. She was so so pale and cold. 

She simply smiled, “Take care of Adrien, Gabriel.” and her eyes slid shut. Nathalie began to cry.

“Emilie?” Gabriel didn’t understand. He didn’t want to. 

“Emilie?” he repeated as he let go of her hand to shake her shoulders. Her hand fell limply to the ground. “ _ EMILIE?? _ ”

The name echoed hollowly around Hawkmoth, replacing the scream that caused this to happen, caused him to remember that terrible day. He sobbed on the floor and tore the magical broach off his shirt, wanting to get the cursed magical skin granted by Nooroo off of him.

Nathalie found him on the floor as a complete wreck in the afternoon, about the time Adrien should have gotten home, only to inform him that Adrien had yet to arrive and they currently had no idea where he was. Nathalie had already started a low scale search in the places he was likely to be at, they hadn’t gotten to the library yet. 

It was at that moment that Adrien called Nathalie, telling her he was heading home. She had asked him where he’d been but Adrien refused to say a word.

Gabriel still wasn’t fit to go reprimand his son, so he sent Nathalie, even though he knew she didn’t like to be the one to lecture Adrien.

Eventually, after the sun had set, Gabriel stumbled to his room, but he couldn’t sleep. Memories of the day he lost Emilie haunted him.

She shouldn’t have died.

If it hadn’t been for the miraculous!

If it hadn’t been…

Unable to rest, he got up, and went to the portrait of Emilie in his atelier. He gazed longingly at the painting, and then put in the secret combination to open the elevator. 

Going down, he was swallowed by darkness, and didn’t resurface the rest of the night, not at all knowing that his son had ever left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I really had not been planning on a backstory... it might be a bit weak.  
> Thank you all for reading!  
> Comments, questions, speculation, and feedback are all welcome!  
> I swear, I didn't understand before I started this fic, but comments really are lifeblood...


	10. Blanket Forts and Pillow Caves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tons of fluff today!  
> Just a disclaimer but I only referenced the way the classroom actually looks in the show, my version is very much that, my version, and therefore doesn't actually look like the classroom from Miraculous, including a lack of the doors that connect the classrooms.  
> I really like this idea so I hope you all enjoy! There's also a bonus at the end as a sort of thank you for all the support I've received! I hope you all like it.
> 
> [Edited 23/11/20]

Marinette was still sick the next morning, but at least she felt better. She was grateful to Chat who had decided to stay with her. 

She had thanked him before they both parted for their homes, missing how Chat’s gaze lingered on her, confused. 

The sun was just spilling into her room when Ladybug dropped in and released her transformation. 

Marinette slumped against her wall.

“Thanks Tikki, I know it must have been exhausting.”

Though the little kwami was exhausted, she shook her head, “It’s no problem Marinette, you needed it.” Marinette smiled.

She sat up properly and got dressed. She didn’t know what she was going to do about today, she couldn’t sleep here so she had to get to school, but how to convince her parents.

She’d only gotten down the stairs before being confronted by her mother  _ and  _ her father. They made for quite the menacing pair.

“Get back up to your room young lady.” Sabine said.

Even if she was tired, Marinette still had  _ some _ fight in her. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep in that room. Nothing good would happen if she didn’t get to school.

“No.” she said.

Sabine straightened at the potential indignation, she knew that her daughter could put up a fight, but she was sick and Sabine was stronger. If she really needed to, she could even have Tom simply pick Marinette up and set her back in her room, but she knew they would get nowhere and she didn’t want this to end up hurting her relationship with her daughter, so she asked, “Why? Why should I let you go to school when you’re sick?”   
Marinette sighed and relaxed. It didn’t look like she was going to have to fight.

“I can’t sleep here. I’ll only get nightmares.”

She decided to be as truthful as possible. Sabine lost her battle stance, “Oh honey.” She hugged her daughter.

“I promise  _ Maman _ , I  _ promise  _ I’ll get some rest when I get there, just please don’t make me stay.” Sabine pulled back and looked into her eyes. When she saw what she was searching for, she sighed and let go, “Alright sweetie. Alright.” She turned and led her to the table. 

“We made some breakfast for you cupcake, so please eat before you go.” Tom said.

Marinette smiled at them, tears in her eyes, she was so grateful her parents were willing to trust her. 

She nodded and joined them. 

Before they started eating, Sabine stepped away to make a call.

“Alya? Yes, she’ll be going to school. Please make sure she gets some rest. She really needs it.”   
“ _ Don’t worry Sabine, I’ll make sure of it.” _

<◉>

Marinette wearily walked down the street, this time in shoes and not pjs. Well, not completely. 

She wore some sweat pants and a large shirt that seemed a size too big for her. She’d bought it because the fabric felt so soft but they didn’t have another in her size, and after she’d put it on, she decided she liked it the size it was and it’d work well as a pj shirt.

Marinette walked into school, gaining some attention, especially from her classmates that were milling about. It was unusual to see Marinette wearing clothes clearly not fit to her, after all, she fixed most if not all of them so that they would if she hadn’t made them herself. She also looked a little silly cause she’d brought a blanket and pillow. She was not planning to be working at all today. She needed sleep and if she didn’t need Adrien for that, she would’ve just stayed home. 

She had to reassure herself that she was not shirking her responsibilities. 

People usually didn’t go to school to sleep, so it was therefore a surprise to sit at her desk and find that underneath, there was several pillows of different sizes and shapes. 

The desks they had were the nice kind, full wood ones with a backboard and sides, therefore making it slightly harder to slide into the bench. The students all liked them since it made it easier to sneak your phone out and text on it as long as you were careful about your expressions and where you were looking. If you’re staring at your lap too long, the teachers get suspicious. 

It seemed however, that that was not the only thing they were good for. They blocked light out pretty well.

The pile of pillows in the corner of the desk looked wonderfully comfortable. Marinette’s eyes sparkled with childlike joy. She slid down her seat like a child would in a restaurant booth to get out, not noticing if others were watching or how silly it was. 

Adrien watched on with amusement as she made herself comfortable, one of her feet touching his ankle. Ivan leaned over his desk to watch, Nathaniel leaning around his large body to get a view too. Mylene and Rose giggled while Alix handed over ten euros to Kim who high fived Max. Juleka smiled quietly and down on the first row, Alya fist pumped the air before sharing a celebratory dance with Nino.

Phase 1 complete.

Marinette slept soundly in her little pillow cave, Adrien joining her at some point. The girls only cooed when they finally got to see how they cuddled beneath the desk. Alya took several pictures before she was forced to sit in her seat when class started again. Though he was supposed to be paying attention to the lesson, Nathaniel was busy sketching away whatever he could see, planning on perhaps handing the sketch over to them in a few years as a wedding gift. Mlle Bustier said absolutely nothing.

As a teacher with a class that constantly faces akuma, your values have to change. So long as they learn the material, do well, are healthy and happy, then Caline Bustier has no qualms.

The two stayed there till lunch, not even being woken up for Mme Mendeliev’s class. 

Alya woke the pair up and led them out with Nino to the cafeteria, leaving the rest of their classmates to initiate phase two, of course with the permission of Mlle Bustier and the school board. It helped to have Chloe’s influence. She said she was only doing it for Adrien, but everyone knew she’d gotten softer and due to Marinette’s continual association with Adrien, had even begun to like the pig tailed girl to a degree.

<◉>

Marinette finished off the leftover noodle soup from the night before and was lead back to class by Adrien, gladly leaning on him. He ignored the warm buzz that came from the contact. 

They opened the class door and Marinette looked up to where the pillow cave was, she had to thank her friends for that, but her eyes were drawn farther up to the left back corner of the room. 

Honestly, anyone could see what the class had done if they only looked in through the window, but Marinette hadn’t noticed, she was too tired. 

Up in the left corner was a small cone of blankets set up that looked almost like a canopy. It took over the entire corner, large blankets’ corners being tacked to the ceiling. The back of Rose and Juleka’s bench as well as some brought in chairs acted as the base and kept the blankets from collapsing in on itself. Within were more piles of blankets and pillows, some Marinette recognized since she made them herself. Light filtered in through a thinner blanket placed in front of the part of the window that could be seen in the blanket fort. Everything looked incredibly soft. 

When she looked closer, Marinette realized she recognized  _ every _ pillow and blanket. Most were from her house, but several were from other’s houses. They must have gone home and to her house to get everything. 

With tears in her eyes, Marinette turned to her class and smiled, “Thank you so much you guys!” 

Everyone smiled back and a chorus of ‘your welcome’s and ‘no problem’s was sung. 

Marinette joyfully crawled in and settled, the sun’s light warming her even dimmed through the blanket.

Everyone looked at Adrien meaningfully. 

They were waiting for him to get in and recognized how he actually really wanted to join Marinette.

Said girl peeked out, careful not to be caught by Adrien’s gaze, as if she too was waiting for him to join.

“We won’t say anything, so just get in already.” Chloe huffed and shoved Adrien in.

The blankets fell back into place around the entrance and after some shuffling, Adrien shouted a “Thanks Chlo!”

Just to keep modesty, some of the blankets were pulled open so that everyone could see into the fort.

It took less than a minute before the two were already asleep, tangled with one another, and it took a lot of will power for everyone to go back to their seats and stop squealing or cooing over how adorable the two dorks were, but they were able to do it and successfully keep from looking back too often.

Nino noticed the small smile Chloe had before she returned to her act at her desk. She was trying not to show her growth too much due to bad girl pride, but everyone already knew about it. That Chloe was changing for the better warmed the heart and gave hope that bad things don’t last. It was something they needed with recent events.

<◉>

Adrien had to get up and leave about two hours before school ended due to an impromptu photoshoot. He didn’t say anything about it, but Marinette had a hunch that it was her fault. 

Since Adrien was no longer there and she was feeling better, Marinette took part in some of the classes.

She still coughed a lot and was fatigued, but other than that, she was doing a lot better having slept so much in the past twenty four hours. She really was  _ so lucky _ to have friends that would go to the effort of using their lunch time to make a blanket fort and pillow cave. If Adrien was still here, she might curl up beneath the desk, but he had responsibilities. 

It was fine. It had to be, because he was being  _ punished  _ for what  _ she made him do _ . So even if she felt on edge, worried about falling asleep or looking at Alya for too long, she had to deal with it. This was  _ her  _ punishment for becoming too greedy.

<◉>

The next morning, Marinette walked into class with a shirt so large that it could have been a dress on her, another pj shirt. 

It had a cartoonish slice of bread on it with a curly mustache and beret. It said, “ _ French Toast _ ” beneath it. It was a terrible pun to be sure, but her Papa had liked it and when he saw it in the store, he  _ had  _ to have it. Unfortunately, it was 100% cotton and they hadn’t known. It went a full cycle in the laundry before they noticed. 

It shrunk but Tom loved it too much to get rid of it, so he’d given it to Marinette as a pj shirt.

She decided to wear it today because recently, having been close to Adrien so much, she’d learned how much he liked puns and maybe, if he was exhausted from the photoshoot that cut into school yesterday, it’d make him feel better. 

_ It’s not like only Chat makes puns, my Papa does too, that doesn’t mean at all that he’s Chat _ . she’d reasoned after learning about it.

Chat and her father didn’t know because she tried to be quiet about it, but Marinette actually liked their puns. There was a reason she hadn’t thrown the shirt out after Tom had eventually forgotten about it. Sabine knew but kept quiet cause she thought Marinette’s refusal to show how much she liked the puns to be adorable.

When Marinette walked through the door, she found the blanket fort still standing. 

The way the morning light filtered through it and made it seem to glow was incredibly enticing. It looked so perfect after the previous night that just seemed to be too long. She supposed it must have been because she was looking forward to school so much. 

Before she’d even realized it, she had left her pink thermos full of hot coco on her desk and was already in front of the opening to the fort.

A lovely sound filled her ears and she knew Adrien had just come into the room. 

She turned to look at the classroom’s entrance, a pleading look in her eyes.   
Adrien didn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the classroom, but it certainly wasn’t this vision of beauty.

His heart started to feel as if it might burst from his chest.

Why did it ache so much? Surely it must be because he was gazing upon a goddess. That’s all his tired brain could assume, for though she stood there in a baggy shirt  _ (a wonderful pun one nonetheless!) _ and sweatpants, her hair was down and she was bathed in light. 

The light shimmered off her hair like starlight amongst the midnight, and there was a  _ look _ in her beautiful bluebell eyes. The way she looked at him made his insides turn to jelly. His knees suddenly felt weak and if she continued to look at him like that any longer, he was sure he’d do just about anything she asked. Anything she wanted to know, he’d find the answer. Anything she desired, he’d try his best to give it to her, even if he be reduced to a beggar. If she asked for his heart, he’d gladly give it.

That gaze was just that strong. It spoke confidence and sincerity, it lit his body on fire in the most pleasurable ways and it made him feel like he was everything and more, because she was beautiful and it was  _ he  _ that she wanted. 

The only person to vaguely make him feel like this was Ladybug, but she never looked at him like this. It had always been business and one-sided pining with her, but this… this was something very  _ different _ .

He was by her side in moments and the joy in her face made him want to dance. It was he that put that joy there. Him and nobody else. 

She touched his arm and it reminded him of how weary he was. She pulled him into the blanket fort and curled up. He hesitated a moment, just as he had the day before, but she looked up at him expectantly and it seemed as if she was offering solace from the cold house he had suffered from. It seemed so sweet, he curled up against her and was swallowed in her warmth and the softness of her punny shirt. 

His eyes drifted shut and he was asleep almost immediately.

<◉>

When Alya and Nino arrived, they were extremely tired. To anyone else, they looked like they had simply stayed up extremely late like any other teenager, but the truth was that Alya had had a nightmare, one reminiscent of what happened to her during Mania, except that scream from Monday had definitely caused it to get worse because in her dream, Mania was advancing on Nino and she couldn’t reach him, her legs were rotting away. 

Usually she was fine, but last night, her family had decided to watch a zombie horror movie. Alya had decided to join as well because why not? It would be another one of those hilariously fake movies and she’d get a laugh out of all the drama like she always did, but apparently it had been enough to trigger the trauma. So in the end, she had woken up around three and immediately called Nino, who, though tired, was a caring boyfriend and stayed up with Alya. If he hadn’t answered, she was sure she would have climbed his apartment and crept into the window, just to make sure he was okay.

So to see those two sleepyhead dorks already comfortably fast asleep, they were suddenly very envious. 

They spared a look for each other to make sure they were on the same track, and then nodded. Alya and Nino climbed into the blanket fort and buried themselves in blankets and pillows, snuggling close to the other two.

When class started, Bustier wondered why the first and second row were empty. The question was answered when Rose offered an explanation that Alya and Nino were both with Marinette and Adrien in the blanket fort. 

It surprised Caline but she supposed it was fine, Marinette and Adrien had already slept the day away yesterday, it should be fine if two more joined. “Someone, please make notes for them, now then, lets begin the lesson.”

The problem Mlle Bustier did not think to consider was that today’s lesson would be terribly long and not as interesting as others, nor did she think that more than four people would retreat to the blanket fort. 

By lunchtime, she’d lost three more students to the blanket fort, which, now that she thought about it, was probably fortunate. It was halfway through the week, when students were still able to push through classes but were starting to tire of it. 

She caught several people glancing back at the fort, so it was likely she’d end up losing more.

When she got back from lunch, she found the classroom empty. Nobody walked in when the bell rang either. 

Baffled, she was about to start calling the students’ parents when she heard a rather loud snore. She walked up the aisle curiously and when she peeked into the blanket fort, found the entire class piled on top of each other.

Caline stifled a laugh and got her phone out. She may be a teacher, but this was far too funny to pass up. She went back to her desk and got out some work that needed to be graded. She could wake them up in an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think I came on too strong with the romance there? It's just that I haven't been putting a lot of focus on the romance and thought I probably should start putting some more thought into it.  
> The picture doesn't exactly fit with this chapter because I forgot what Mari was wearing while drawing and the hoodie Adrien is wearing has yet to appear! And about the glasses, Nino was smart and took his off while Alya simply forgot. It's actually really uncomfortable falling asleep with glasses tho...  
> I wanted to share a more Adrienette picture too but it was taking more time. If I'm able to eventually finish it, I will definitely share!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! <3  
> Comments, feedback, and speculation are always well received!


	11. Growing Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I think after this update I'll have to drop my Wednesday updates. I'll still be updating on Mondays and Fridays though.  
> We get back into the angst and drama with this chapter and we might not come out of it for a few more chapters! This is mostly in Alya's point of view though it sometimes switches to Adrien's. I hope it's not too confusing.  
> I also _finally_ looked into French school's schedules and though the one I found had gym class on Mondays and Tuesdays, I flipped it so that it was on Thursdays and Fridays.  
> Anyways, I hope you all like the chapter!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

Alya didn’t know what was up, but she could respect that for once as long as her friends got better. 

But they hadn’t. 

Alya didn’t know when exactly it happened, she knew something was… off,  _ different _ , about Marinette and Adrien but who was she to say anything about them when she’d only known them for three years? For all she knew, they had always been like this. And there was something else. Something scratching at the back of her mind constantly telling her “believe it, don’t push, it makes sense, there’s nothing wrong here.” The more she went against that feeling, the more it scratched, so she’d simply given up.

…

At least till now. 

Now, she’d gotten used to the scratching. Now, her friends were hurting and they  _ weren’t getting better _ . 

She’d given them time. She’d given them space. She’d even given them a place to feel better, to heal, but it seemed as if nothing had changed… scratch that, things  _ had _ changed, it’s just it wasn’t in the way it was supposed to. 

<◉>

_ They had gym today. It was Friday, three days after the blanket fort had been put up. Last week, Marinette and Adrien had slept through it and missed. The week before, Adrien had skipped Thursday’s class and Mania had cut out Friday’s. Yesterday, Adrien had somehow skipped and word was that he’d stopped going to fencing. He couldn’t escape phys ed any longer though and had been dragged to class by the neck of his shirt looking like a frightened cat.  _

_ Adrien’s strange behavior made Alya curious, but she’d told Nino she’d wait for them to come to her, so she had kept herself from looking into it yet.  _

_ Therefore, Alya was watching the teacher drag Adrien in from her spot leaning against the wall as she waited for Marinette to get out of the girl’s locker room. Unfortunately though, seriously this girl’s luck sucks, Marinette hadn’t been able to find her gym uniform.  _

_ The teacher was a bit strict about coming in uniform and you could get into more trouble coming in without it than being late, so it was unlikely she’d be attending the class unless she found it. Still Alya waited, but soon it would be time for warm ups.  _

_ As the class lined up for roll to be taken, Alya couldn’t help but notice how skittish Adrien was. His eyes kept darting here and there and he wouldn’t stop fidgeting. It was like he was waiting for something bad to happen. Unknown to Alya, Adrien was freaking out due to a lack of Plagg. There were no pockets in the gym uniform, so Plagg had to stay in Adrien’s locker. Adrien had gotten used to Plagg being around all the time and purring every now and then, so not having him felt wrong.  _

_ Marinette’s name was called and Alya answered for her, “She’s looking for her uniform.” The teacher nodded in understanding. He was more lenient on late people if it had to do with the uniform. He was a strange teacher.  _

_ “Alright, start running laps people, do five.” He turned away to sit at the edge of the court and everyone started to run.  _

_ They were a lap and a half through when Alya started to notice something off with Adrien. He had started out like everyone else and had been fine aside from being on edge, but he’d started to drag behind everyone. That was unusual because everyone knew how fit he was.  _

_ Alya continued running but started to slow down with Nino to match Adrien’s increasingly slower speed.  _

_ When they were beside him, Alya noticed how pale and sweaty the model was and when she looked at his eyes, she had to keep herself from jumping in fright. It was the same look he’d had back during the Bunsen Burner Incident, or something similar to it.  _

_ Alya had been so  _ sure  _ that he was getting better with all the sleep he’d been getting in class. But now that she thought of it, he still looked sick whenever he came into class, he still looked exhausted, and though he tried to use makeup to hide it, the bruises beneath his eyes had only gotten deeper. Marinette looked similar, but she had given up on makeup at this point. She’d even given up on acting like she was okay and wore increasingly more pj like clothes. She never put her hair up anymore except it be for a messy bun, and then there was  _ that _.  _

_ In the locker room earlier, as Marinette had taken off her light grey sweatshirt before realizing her gym clothes were missing, Alya had  _ seen _ it.  _

_ Marinette was a baker’s daughter, she was well fed, but her body looked anything but. She was far too thin for a girl who ate well, her skin stretched over her bones and seemed almost translucent, Alya could  _ see  _ all the veins.  _

_ From the way Marinette was trying to hide her body, it was probably also caused by whatever she was keeping a secret.  _

_ Alya started looking over Adrien.  _

_ Did his shirt always hang off him like that? _

_ Definitely not.  _

_ Alya was about to ask Nino about it when Adrien completely stopped and leaned forward, hands on his knees.  _

_ He was shaking.  _

_ Adrien’s breath was becoming thin, his heart was racing, and his vision blurry. Pain ran through his system. Fake pain. _

_ The fire of the past had come for him again.  _

_ Why now? Why here? Why couldn’t it have been in his room where his friends weren’t watching him?  _

_ Though these questions ran through his head, Adrien knew well why. Everything was too hot. The bodies of students running past him, the lack of air conditioner today, his  _ own  _ body heat.  _

**It was all too hot** _.  _

_ Marinette was by Adrien’s side in seconds. Alya stared at her best friend in astonishment. When had she gotten there? It was before Alya or even Nino could react to the situation. She wasn’t even in her gym clothes, still in the sweatshirt and pants she’d had on before so there was no way she would have been in the gym yet. _

_ Marinette had an arm around Adrien’s shoulders, a hand on his arm, and was leaning down so she was close to his ears. She whispered kindly, “Are you alright? Do you need anything? What can I do for you?” _

_ Adrien gulped and lifted a shaky hand from his knees to grab Marinette’s arm. “I-I’m fine, just, please bring me back to the locker room.” Adrien started to stand up properly and Marinette helped him, wrapping her arm around his waist. _

_ She didn’t look at all perturbed about the fact that he had just asked her to bring him to the boy’s locker room. _

_ He leaned heavily on her as she led him out. The class watched on in silent bewilderment. _

_ What was  _ that _? _

<◉>

Since gym was the last period of the day, and it was Friday, Alya didn’t get to see Marinette or Adrien and Marinette had previously mentioned how busy this weekend was, Adrien groaning in agreement. It wasn’t like he hated all the work he did, he had explained before, but it could be exhausting and it wasn’t always in the best of company. 

So Alya had planned to hang out with Nino. They’d even planned out a date back during that lunch picnic when Marinette and Adrien had fallen asleep.

And yet… Nino had called it off. He said that a family emergency had come up. 

Worried, because he hadn’t given much information, Alya called his mother and asked if there was anything she could do. However, when his mother picked up, she had said, “What do you mean? Who told you we had a family emergency? We’re doing quite well. Thank you for checking in on us.”

“Really? Well that’s good, I was worried.” Alya responded

Nino’s mother hummed on the other end of the phone. “I wonder why you asked  _ me  _ about this since you and Nino are on a date right about now. I’m sure he would have gladly cleared up any misconceptions.”

Now  _ that  _ was suspicious. Lying to his mother? Nino? The too honest boy who couldn’t keep his mouth shut about secrets? What could possibly be wrong? 

She wanted so bad to find him and ask him what he was hiding but maybe he’d come to her? She should wait right? 

Well, if he’s lying then it has to be something important enough that he wouldn’t tell either her or his mother, so it had to stay secret for whatever reason, for now at least.

So Alya played along. “Oh! I’m sorry, Nino just got here, so I’ll have to go now. Thanks for telling me.” His mother seemed confused, but let it go anyway. “Sure thing.” and then she hung up.

Nino owed her for this, and if she knew the Lahiffe family well, then he’d know so too by the end of the day. 

Now that she thought of it, even on Friday he had been…  _ off _ . He had been unusually more quiet and wouldn’t hold her gaze for long, like someone who was guilty. But guilty of what?

At this rate the curiosity was going to kill her and her reporter instincts would take over and she’d do something stupid and hurtful. She had to stop thinking about it. 

So she focused on the Ladyblog for the rest of the weekend.

Then came Monday.

Nino wouldn’t look at her, even while talking. But there was one time she’d caught his eyes as she turned away from him. The way he looked at her caused her heart to hurt.

With those golden eyes she loved, he looked at her with guilt and regret and secrets. They were devoid of the warmth that always filled them when he looked at her. Alya gulped nervously. He couldn’t be… right? There’s no way that her Nino would do something like that. But was he really  _ her  _ Nino if she was guessing right?

She shook the thoughts away. No, he would never do such a thing. She just had to trust him. Alya had to give him her heart and trust he keep it. 

So if it wasn’t  _ that _ , then what was he hiding? What was the secret knowledge that he held? 

She hoped she didn’t later regret this. She looked at him for a second, but looked away immediately, because he had caught her gaze and this time he had known.

He had been watching her. 

Something like yearning had been in his eyes that time.

She focused on the lesson being taught. He’d come to her. He’d come to her. He’d come to her. She just had to keep thinking that.

<◉>

Right after the lunch bell rung, Kim ran up to Adrien before he could leave with Marinette. “Hey man, I have a question for you.” Both Adrien and Marinette looked to him, as if he was speaking to both of them and not just Adrien.

Kim glanced at Marinette. 

“Um, a  _ guy  _ question.” he reworded. Both Marinette and Adrien looked confused but Marinette took the clue that this question was not meant for her ears and went back to where Alya was.

Alya looked at Kim, at the smile he had on, and the way he glanced back at Alix who had a similar smile.

It was that smile they had when they were plotting something stupid.

_ What are you thinking Kim? _ She thought, but watched on as Kim led Adrien out.

She sighed and shrugged her bag on, “Come on, M, lets get to the cafeteria. We can wait for Adrien there.” Marinette nodded and they walked out together, Nino not far behind.

They’d barely sat down when Marinette sat ramrod straight and furrowed her eyebrows. “Where is he taking Adrien?” she muttered softly, in a way that suggested she hadn’t realized she’d actually said that outloud.

Then she stood up, and left the cafeteria. “Wait! Mari! Where are you going?” Alya chased after her.

<◉>

Adrien had followed Kim at first because he was worried that something bad might have happened and he’d come to him for help, but now he wasn’t so sure. 

They had walked outside the school and it didn’t seem like Kim had any intention on stopping soon. 

“Hey, uh, Kim? If you’re not gonna tell me, then I gotta get back, Mari’s waiting for me.” He really didn’t like being so far from her. Her warmth was starting to fade the farther they went and the fire could come back for him at any moment now. 

Kim turned to him, “Alright, I guess we can stop here. I just wanted to be able to talk to you for once. It’s been awhile since we’ve had the chance to chat without Mari around.” Kim smiled good naturedly, but the way his mouth twisted made it feel like he was hiding something.

Adrien recoiled a little at what he’d said. Had it really been so long since he started hanging out around Marinette? Was it bothering his other friends? He didn’t think there was any problem since Nino and Alya hadn’t said anything and Chloe had even pushed him into the blanket fort with Marinette which could be taken as an approval from her. But, even if they didn’t like it, he couldn’t really stay away from her. His throat was already beginning to feel scratchy and his lungs were starting to feel constricted.

“I’m sorry Kim...” he started and was interrupted by Kim waving the apology away. “It’s fine dude.” 

“...we can talk for a minute or two but I really gotta get back.” 

“Sure man, that’s okay.” Kim seemed oddly distant. Was this because they hadn’t talked much? Or maybe it was just the inferno creeping up on him that was starting to mess with his head.

They started walking back, but their pace was much slower than when they were coming out here. Or that was simply his head playing tricks on him and warping time.

He couldn’t make out what Kim was saying through the rushing in his ears. His eyes were starting to swim and it was only Plagg’s purring that centered him and kept him from falling. That didn’t mean he wasn’t stumbling though.

“Hey, Adrien? Are you okay man?” Kim turned to him.

Adrien felt the world spin and thought that maybe the ground was coming closer when two large hands caught him. He looked up to see a blob of red. He blinked, sweat stinging his eyes. Then he saw the blob come into focus and become a worried Kim.

“Kim?” His voice sounded far away. 

“Holy crap! Adrien! Adrien are you alright?! Come on man!” Kim was now panicking. He didn’t think Adrien would start to get sick!

Adrien’s eyes started to shut and Kim was sure that was a very very bad thing. 

“Adrien!” a girl’s voice called out. It sounded oddly like Marinette. Adrien’s eyes fluttered open at the sound, green searching for blue.

Marinette was running down the street to him. 

Was he imagining her? Was he so stressed he was making her up to alleviate some of the pain? But when he looked at Kim, he was looking right at Marinette. So maybe she was real after all.

<◉>

Alya had followed Marinette for a block, Nino beside her, her friend becoming increasingly more worried, and was wondering where she was going when she saw them.

“Holy crap! Adrien! Adrien are you alright?! Come on man!” she saw Kim holding a collapsed Adrien up from falling. 

Alya’s worry spiked.

Why was Adrien collapsed?

“Adrien!” Marinette called.

She sped up faster than Alya thought was possible for her. She’d never gone so fast before.

Marinette was by Adrien’s side before Alya could blink. 

She pulled Adrien out of a dumbfounded Kim’s arms who watched Marinette with a wide eyed gaze. “Alix was right.” he mumbled.

Adrien sagged in Marinette’s arms, tired from something unknown. Marinette held his face with one hand, eyes soft and full of love. The look he returned was something similar with a mix of relief before he shut his eyes and fell asleep.

Alya felt like she’d just intruded on something she wasn’t supposed to. Nino watched them from her side, analyzing the entire scene. Alya was momentarily frozen,  _ What are you examining Nino? _ Then her attention was back on Marinette who held Adrien close to her like a little girl would her precious teddy bear, his feet sagging on the ground.

“What were you doing with Adrien?”

Marinette looked hurt and possibly betrayed, but she tried to tamp it down till Kim explained himself.

“I-I” He stuttered beneath the judging glare of someone come to deliver justice, looking every bit a guilty criminal. “ _ We _ ,” he corrected, “We were just betting. Alix thought that Marinette could always tell where Adrien was and I didn’t think it was true, so we made a bet. W-we were just curious after Friday. We didn’t know that he’d collapse! I’m really sorry Mari.” 

Marinette huffed, apparently content with the answer, “I’ll forgive you. It wasn’t your fault he collapsed. But the one you should really be apologizing to should be Adrien.”   
“I will! Once he wakes up, I swear I will!”

When they got back to school, Marinette went straight to her pillow cave, Adrien in embrace, only stopping for a moment to ask Alya to get her lunch for her, since she would not be returning to the cafeteria.

Alya thinks ‘ask’ because she was pretty sure that’s how Mari meant it, but the way she  _ said  _ it sounded nothing like asking, more like a command. She looked rather scary as she had Alya bring her lunch box, like a general… or something far more ancient.

She was protective for sure and the aura she gave off  _ demanded  _ respect. Staying in her presence and not getting her stuff made her feel more in danger than Gabriel’s gaze did. She felt like not following Marinette would be  _ disrespectful _ . She didn’t like the way it made her feel, and it made Nino’s eyes widen at the unintentional animosity, but he said and did nothing. In fact, he  _ bowed  _ and followed Alya, but still never looked at her. His mind wandered and he fell deep into contemplation.

Alya didn’t answer any questions when she got back to the cafeteria and it seemed even Kim had said nothing about the entire ordeal. Though Alya did take note of a worried and confused Alix with about twenty euros in hand.

Alya and the ever-present ghost, Nino, were in and out of the cafeteria as quick as they could be, saying nothing more than a few ‘sorry guys, can’t talk’ and ‘maybe later’s.

They hadn’t been gone long, but when they returned, Marinette was already asleep. 

Alya and Nino felt relieved, but Alya had the feeling that Nino was relieved about something far greater than she was.

The class slowly trickled in, everyone searching for answers, but still Nino, Alya, and Kim refused to talk. What happened earlier was too private, too important for them to talk about without Marinette’s explicit permission.

The only thing the rest of the class could learn was that Marinette and Adrien, like usual, had simply returned to their pillow cave, which was extremely adorable and looked very comfortable, but that did not explain their friends’ forlorn expressions.

<◉>

The next day, nothing strange happened, aside from another akuma but that was near the end of school. 

But something was bugging Alya. 

For once, it wasn’t Adrien and Marinette, instead, it was her boyfriend.

Her lying, secretive, ever-so-kind, boyfriend.

Nino.

He had completely stopped talking to her. He wouldn’t even look her way. He was avoiding her except not completely. Though he had stopped participating in various things, his voice and presence fading to background noise, he never once left her. He continued to sit by her side in their desks and at lunch and he was always at least one step behind her.

Always sitting there, always silent. And sometimes she could feel him looking at her from where he was behind her. It was like he felt he didn’t deserve to stand by her, and she could feel the sad longing in his gaze, the regret, the guilt, and though he never opened his mouth that day, his lips whispered secrets she could not hear. They promised hidden and devastating knowledge. She hadn’t quite understood that fad for mysterious boys, but when it was her precious boy being all mysterious like this, sometimes she couldn’t help the desire to steal away the untold information from his silent mouth. 

His downcast gaze made her worry though, so she would push aside those thoughts, focus on the past week, and see if she remembered anything that could have caused him to become like this. But there wasn’t anything.

As she thought, she felt a familiar itch in the back of her mind.

It aggravated her to no end that those she considered dear to her were hurting and she knew  _ nothing, _ therefore disabling her and keeping her from being able to truly help. She didn’t even know if staying silent would actually help them in the end! What if things only got worse because she never tried to know! It’s easier to ask forgiveness than get permission anyway. 

She had waited for them, and now she was done waiting. She was going to get answers, and she would look into what was disturbing Marinette and Adrien… after she looked into Nino. She couldn’t handle the way he was being anymore. She  _ couldn’t, _ and that’s why she was now standing outside his family’s apartment at 9:30 on a Tuesday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Suspicious enough? I ended on a sorta cliffhanger for once! I didn't think it possible.  
> I hope you guys liked that small bit of DJWifi there.  
> Thank you for reading! <3  
> Any comments, questions, feedback, or speculation is welcome!


	12. New Player Has Joined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know how a couple of chapters back, I decided how much this followed canon? Well, I lied! I've made a change that will become very clear in this chapter.  
> If any of you have noticed, sometimes when there's a development, I'll add new characters and tags, however I will not be adding this new character to the tags or this type of trope as I want it to stay a surprise for any future readers.  
> Today we'll be following Nino for the most part and we'll finally learn some stuff!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's pretty long, 6.2K to be exact, and I really enjoyed writing it!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

Nino didn’t understand what was happening. 

He honestly had no clue.

It was Thursday and he thought it would be smart to visit the movie theaters to book tickets for his date with Alya for that Saturday. That’s all he’d done.

So why in the world was he sitting in the break room waiting for this old man?

The small old dude with a ridiculous flower print shirt had taken one look at him, smiled, and then told him to follow. And to his own surprise, he did! 

It was strange, almost compulsory, he simply  _ had  _ to know what this man had to tell him. He didn’t even understand it himself, but something whispered with familiarity in the back of his head. A whisper he had almost always heard for as long as he could remember and something that had grown in strength about the time Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Hawkmoth came around. 

His mother said it was intuition when he had asked her at a different time when small feet ran across the house and dreams of the future swam in the ceiling, constantly shifting before finally settling. 

It had always been right though, so even if a strange old man came up to him and smiled and had him stay in the break room with little to no questioning by anyone and the voice in his head whispered to follow and listen, then he would.

Once the old man got off his shift, he had Nino follow him out and to a small apartment. It looked nondescript and like any other apartment out there but inside had an ancient and oriental touch that Nino couldn’t help but admire.

The room was overflowing in a neat and cleanly way with the trinkets and doodads that one ended up collecting over a life time. He could almost feel the life breathed into every object and trinket spilling into the room and how it all intermingled into one great feeling. It was familiar and comfortable and two locations in the room piqued his interest. 

One was a lucky bamboo with a beaded charm on one end of a long mahogany dresser, the other an intricate and old gramophone on the other end of the dresser. Between the two, the gramophone held greater interest. He gazed at the two wondering which to have a look at first. The old man simply watched him as he decided.

The lucky bamboo brought visions of sea glass, the feel of the paper of a well loved book, and the smell of salty ocean spray. It also tugged at a memory of cobwebs.

From the gramophone however, he heard voices. He knew by now that there weren’t any in actuality, but to him they were there. All of them were young and familiar but he couldn’t quite place any. He felt as if two voices were missing, however he could not remember who’s it was he felt absent. 

There was one voice amongst the humming symphony that he focused on. He knew it well though he’d forgotten the owner. It stirred feelings of warmth, fire spreading through his veins, an alluring smile flashed into his mind. Coppery skin, fiery hair. Sashaying hips. He started to smell something rich and robust like spices, coffee, and rum. A touch of skin on skin. Golden eyes.

Before he realized it, he’d chosen the gramophone to investigate first, his feet had already taken him to its side. 

When he turned back to the old man to ask about it, he was smiling, as if excited over Nino’s choice of the gramophone. “Of course you’d pick that one. It has a greater energy does it not?” Nino could only be bewildered. Energy? Did this old man know something about Nino’s intuition? It had never seemed quite like how others described it.

There was a glimmer in the man’s eyes, something youthful, akin to mirth and teacherly pleasure interchangeable with pride. “Come sit.” He waved a hand to one of the cushions surrounding his low table. 

Nino kneeled, waiting for answers.

“My name is Master Fu, I have a task for you.” he introduced himself as he took the gramophone from its place and put it before him.

“It is of the highest importance and I believe you are the one who can do it.” He pressed on the eyes of the dragon and a panel revealed itself. He pushed another series of buttons and the gramophone spun, the top half unhinging open. 

There was the clack of wood as layer after layer pealed away, sliding into and hiding in the gramophone’s base. 

Slowly, the last layer opened and within was a small octagonal box made of blackened wood, a red emblem burned across the top.

The box spiraled out of its previous container, displaying all of its little drawers, and into the waiting hands of Master Fu.

Master Fu took the box out, moved the gramophone, and placed the box before Nino.

Now that it was out of the gramophone, Nino could hear the voices much louder now, and yet they were whispers, still as indecipherable as before. 

Nino wondered what this old man was up to with a box hidden inside a gramophone. Only suspicious people doing suspicious things had stuff like this. 

Though he trusted his “intuition,” he could not help but think that maybe he’d just gotten dragged into a drug trade.

Nino didn’t realize at the time that following this old man to his house would change his life, and he had no clue that the words that fell from his mouth would set his fate into motion.

“I would like you to become the new Guardian.”

Suddenly something began to move, to spiral and grow like a snowball running down a hill, gaining inertia, a domino pushed to trigger a chain reaction, a pendulum released to follow the gravitational pull of something far greater than itself and leave traces behind.

He didn’t understand what the old man said, it made no sense to him and he needed context. 

Guardian? A guardian of what? What was he being asked?

But the familiar whisper that had always counseled him rose in volume, the voices from the octagonal box joining it in a chorus of exaltation.

A Guardian! A new Guardian has been chosen!

The voices quieted after a few minutes and the whisper of “intuition” returned to being a quiet hum in the back of his mind.

Nino took the chance to finally ask his question.

Master Fu smiled enigmatically and opened the box. 

Then things became clear. 

“I want you to become the Guardian of the Miraculous. You will be tasked to watch over the Miracle Box as well as the allocation of who the Miraculous will go to and how long they are to keep them.”

Nino looked to Master Fu disbelievingly. It was not that he didn’t believe these were the Miraculous, what he didn’t believe was that  _ he  _ of  _ all people _ was being picked for such an important role. 

“Why me?” he asked like any hero would, but he was not the hero of this story, surely that was Ladybug.

“You have a certain gift. Not only are you able to take a step back and properly see the world for what it is, you can feel the energies around you. I had to learn that ability and it took many years, costing me much,” Master Fu’s eyes clouded in reminiscence of times long past, “but you have naturally obtained it. For example, Wayzz, you can come out now.” 

A green blur came from behind the lucky bamboo to float beside Master Fu.

“You were able to feel the difference between  _ one  _ Miraculous and  _ many _ .” he gestured to the Miracle Box when he said that last part.

Nino was confused and surprised. 

Now that he knew what the lucky bamboo and gramophone had held, he realized that yes, he  _ had  _ felt the difference between one and many, but that was not the reason he had chosen the gramophone. That’s what confused him.

What surprised him was that he knew about his “intuition.”

“Wait, so you mean that the images, sounds, smells, and feelings I sense, they’re all energy? And you also have this voice whispering in your head? What’s it actually called?”

Master Fu’s face drained of color and Wayzz said, “Well now, it looks like his powers were stronger than we thought, you picked extremely well this time Master.”

Fear shocked Nino’s system.  _ Wait, is there something wrong with me? Is that why his face paled? _

“That is called the Voice of Creation my boy,” Master Fu said shakily as he gathered his bearings.“It comes to those who have a stronger connection to Tikki and her power. Everyone has a connection to her in some way as she is the Goddess of Creation, however only a few lucky souls can attain what you have. All I can do is sense the energies of objects and people, similar to auras.”

“Oh.” was all Nino could manage. 

“Most people only get vague inspirations from it and that’s what people call intuition.”

Master Fu cleared his throat, finally calmed again. “It seems I have underestimated you, Nino, this will perhaps be even better for you as a Guardian.”

Nino had more questions, “Hasn’t Ladybug been the one choosing heroes till now? She’s been doing pretty well at choosing the right people, so why not pick her?”

Master Fu’s expression turned grave. “Ladybug had more info on the current villain and best people to pick since she was outside. I’m not as young as I once had been and therefore, unfortunately, don’t have the same amount of energy anymore. I can’t assess the situation as well so I trusted in Ladybug’s judgement. However, I  _ will not _ be putting a ladybug as guardian.  _ Ever. _ Such an action would be foolish. Ladybug’s have always born an incredible weight as the one to fix the messes and purify evil, putting more stress on them would be stupidity. Not to mention what would happen if the ladybug was lost like in a situation similar to Joan of Arc! Then what would happen to all the Miraculous? It is far too dangerous leaving the role of Guardian to the ladybug of any age and therefore has always been left to those who match well with the turtle Miraculous, the Miraculous of protection, where it would surely be kept safe.” 

His eyes softened and he looked down at the Miracle Box, “I am no fool, Nino, I know it was dangerous to give the Miraculous to kids, but adults are less receptive and children are able to access and understand the powers of the Miraculous far faster than an adult can which was desperately needed. I cannot push these duties upon this Ladybug. It is a terrible idea to do so in the past and now is no exception. Especially not with how traumatized she is. No Ladybug has ever taken it well to lose their Cat. She was lucky to have even gotten him back. Not all Ladybugs get that chance.” Master Fu met Nino’s eyes with a sad smile.

The air felt heavy with gloom, as if a smog had taken up every inch of space available, weighing down even their lungs. They sat in silence for awhile, Master Fu giving Nino time to take all that info in.

After several minutes of choking silence, Master Fu smiled softly, it didn’t have the same brightness as before, but at least it wasn’t that terribly sad one that carried ghosts on his shoulders. Nino shuddered, realizing that he too would learn of those ghosts.

“So now that you know my reasoning, what do you think? Will you accept my offer? It is your choice in the end after all. Should you say no, you can leave this room and forget all about it. You will never see me again. But should you accept, I will tell you everything you need to know about the Miraculous, as well as the secret identities of all the chosen heroes,  _ including  _ Ladybug and Chat Noir. Either way, this meeting remains a secret. You must never tell anyone about what you hear in this room unless you deem it absolutely necessary and even then,  _ never  _ the whole truth.”

The choice lay heavy like a stone in Nino’s stomach. The voice that always led him right whispered to take the offer, but could he handle such an important role? He was a relatively normal teenage boy. Could he keep the secret identities of the precious heroes of Paris? Not even telling Alya who had wanted to know from day one?

Alya.

That sent a new series of thoughts through his mind. He was honest to a fault and could hardly ever keep a secret, this he knew quite well. He knew though that it  _ was  _ possible for him to keep quiet if it was important enough, but from Alya? He could never keep  _ anything  _ from her.

His mouth opened, prepared to say a firm ‘no’ but his eyes fell upon Wayzz.

The Miraculous. 

If he took up Master Fu’s offer, he would permanently become the owner of the Turtle Miraculous. 

His mind brought back images, thoughts, and memories from two weeks ago when Mania had attacked. What was it he thought back then? What was it that now plagued him every time he heard the alarm for an akuma alert?

Nino had gotten over Alya’s almost rotting to death quite quickly. Sometimes he had looked at her and her legs were gone, sometimes he would fall asleep and enter the realm of dreams only to find her in his arms again, slowly being taken away from him, but all he had to do was to look at her again, hear her voice on the other end of a phone call, and he could feel reassured that she was okay. 

So when he’d heard that scream at the beginning of the week, it was not images of her rotting that frightened him, it was the  _ fear  _ that had come from the experience. Fear that she would leave him too soon, too unfairly, and the fear that he wouldn’t be able to do anything for her, once again resorting to being a helpless civilian on the side of the street, waiting and hoping for the heroes to arrive and bring back what had been lost.

It was hard to watch akuma fights after that first time accepting the miraculous, because now he was no longer content with being on the sidelines.  _ Now  _ he had tasted the power to be able to  _ truly  _ help. And he couldn’t forget it.

He looked down at Master Fu’s wrist.

The power to  _ protect  _ was right there. 

All he had to do was accept.

Nino’s eyes flicked back up to Master Fu’s, steel and fire blazing within their golden depths.

“I’ll do it.”

<◉>

Nino walked into his room without bothering to flip on the light and fell into his bed ticketless. 

He’d forgotten to buy them.

He sighed. He wasn’t sure that mattered anymore. Not after what he’d learned.

Nino rubbed at the bridge of his nose in exhaustion.

Marinette was Ladybug.

Ladybug was Marinette.

Adrien was Chat Noir.

Chat Noir was Adrien.

…

And Nino was Guardian.

Well, not quite yet, but soon.

“ _ Ugh _ .” He wiped his hands down his face.

He was  _ so  _ not ready.

How was he supposed to act around Alya anymore?! He glanced at the clock. 

Only 9:40. 

How?

It felt like far later with the exhaustion he was feeling.

He couldn’t think about this anymore. He turned over in his bed and gathered the blankets over him, only bothering to strip down to his underwear rather than grab proper pjs.

Pjs.

A smile tugged at his lips and a small laugh spilled out as he remembered how Marinette came to school in Chat Noir pjs and Adrien was Chat. His slightly pink face at the time Alya had mentioned it now made a lot of sense.

Actually, a lot of things  _ in general  _ now made a lot of sense. The flimsy excuses, the disappearing.

Nino was about to fall asleep when a thought hit him like a ton of bricks, sending him sitting up.

HOLY CRAP!!! Marinette likes Adrien who is Chat and Chat likes Ladybug who is Marinette!  _ They’ve been in love with each other the entire freaking time!!! _

Nino face palmed. 

He did  _ not  _ have the mental space  _ or  _ energy to be dealing with this right now. Maybe tomorrow. He could deal with Alya and Marinette and Adrien  _ tomorrow _ .

For now, he was going to  _ sleep. _

He turned around and crashed into his pillow, out within minutes.

<◉>

His alarm blared without welcome. Nino smashed his pillow over his face.

He wished that  _ yesterday  _ had been  _ Friday  _ and that  _ today  _ was  _ Saturday, _ so that he could put off dealing with things for awhile longer. But  _ nooo, _ fate was far too  _ kind  _ for  _ that. _

Nino groaned as he finally turned off the infernal noise and started getting ready for school.

He was not looking forward to today.

<◉>

Nino thought he had done well the entire day. He’d only been a  _ little  _ off and he had held conversations with Alya, Marinette, and Adrien relatively normally.

The end of the day was getting closer and closer and soon he would be home free! He just had to get through gym.

Gym had turned out to be on hard mode because Adrien was dragged in practically by the scruff looking  _ every bit _ the frightened kitty he was.

He knew now why Adrien had been acting so weird. He was  _ traumatized  _ after all. And he now had an idea as to why Adrien and Marinette were so close all the sudden.

From Master Fu’s knowledge, they didn’t know each other’s identities yet, otherwise the kwami would have informed them, so it was likely that they somehow recognized each other and were drawn to one another, their subconscious knowing exactly who would be able to help them.

Though he understood things now, he didn’t expect for Adrien to start panicking. He looked like he did during the Bunsen Burner Incident and it frightened Alya. Why was he freaking out? 

Then he remembered how two weeks back Adrien had complained of the room being stuffy before freaking out as well.

No AC, he was hot, trauma by  _ fire. _

Things clicked and Nino was about to dash off for some ice when Marinette was already by Adrien’s side and beginning to take him back to the locker room.

_ When had she gotten there? How had she known? _

Nino didn’t know of any tracking abilities and they still didn’t know each other’s identities. He’d have to ask Master Fu about it later. 

<◉>

He knew that ditching his girlfriend to go to some old man’s house was really bad but he couldn’t say something like “Hey, I’m going to go get some lessons on being the Guardian of the Miraculous so we can’t go on our date!” He was sworn to secrecy after all. So lying it was.

Nino had known it was really dumb excuse and he should’ve known that Alya would call in order to make sure they were okay, but he was new to this secrecy stuff!

“How was your date with Alya?” His mother asked when he came back home after another lesson of lore, what could be gleaned from the scans of the book, and the beginnings of learning the ancient language. 

Nino looked up dumbly from his shoes which he had been taking off, “Huh?”

His mother patiently repeated.

“Oh, uh,” Nino sucked at lying and he didn’t like to do it. Master Fu said that being so honest was a good trait but he wasn’t sure he saw the use in it when he was trying to keep a really big secret. “It was good!” His pitch went a little too high but his mother didn’t seem to notice as she continued working on her tablet.

“That’s good. Alya called earlier asking about some family emergency?” Nino cringed, waiting for his lie to be called out and a guillotine to slice through him, but it didn’t come.

“I asked her why she was asking me and she said that you had been late for your date? Didn’t I teach you to be on time for people? Especially your lovely girlfriend?”

_ Shit. _ Was all Nino could thing. 

_ SHE KNOWS. _

Quickly he sputtered out, “Well, foot traffic was a bit bad and I got caught up.” He prayed his mother bought it. She nodded and Nino sagged in relief, heading for his room.

Alya knows something’s wrong. And now he owes her one.

He was gonna have to explain wasn’t he?

<◉>

When Nino had met Alya out on the front steps of the school on Monday, he had braced himself, waiting for the inevitable and terrible questions that he could not properly answer, but Alya had simply acted like nothing had changed. Like he  _ hadn’t  _ stood her up and lied about it. 

She laughed and talked with him like normal, and he supposed he ought to have been relieved, but it only twisted the knife of guilt in his gut further, scraping it unpleasantly.

He couldn’t look her in the eye anymore. It felt wrong to do so.

He’d learned more about the Miraculous over the weekend, he’d gone every day since first accepting to be a trainee, and now his life was filled more with magic than normal things, he couldn’t keep up with the conversations as well anymore for he only had magic runes to share and tales of ancient Ladybugs and Chat Noirs. 

Guilt ate at Nino, he wished he could tell her, tell her about it all, and he regretted that he couldn’t. 

He tried to tell her through his eyes, but he wasn’t sure it worked very well, because the moment hers met his, she looked away. And it hurt.

It hurt so much to be keeping this from  _ her _ .

She was an alluring smile, coppery skin, fiery hair, sashaying hips, spices, coffee, and rum, skin on skin, golden eyes. She was the one he’d given his heart up to. And to keep any part of it away from her felt wrong. 

When lunch came, Kim approached Adrien and led him away, leaving Marinette here with them. As they walked away, Nino eyed Kim warily. It wasn’t good to separate Adrien from Marinette and Nino would gladly go after them to bring him back if need be but he couldn’t let on that he knew more than he should.

So he would patiently wait with Alya and Marinette.

At least that had been the plan, until Marinette had gotten up and started running towards the exit. Nino didn’t know how Marinette knew something was wrong or how she knew where Adiren was, but she knew, and that was all that mattered at the moment.

He immediately followed, Alya a tad slower.

What happened when they finally reached Adrien and Kim was something that Nino would likely never forget, and probably just as likely never utter to anyone else.

The strength Marinette had earned from being holder of the Ladybug Miraculous shined, eliminating her constant clumsiness and taking over.

She rushed forward and collected Adrien in her arms so lovingly, as if he were the most precious thing in the world to her and watching the love translate through their eyes, clashing between them in a harmony that pressed on Nino and shook the air, Nino’s soul quivered, understanding almost perfectly how they felt for each other because that’s how he felt for Alya. 

His mouth filled with the taste of something sweet and velvet, the taste he always got when around a couple who loved each other strongly, but it had never been so  _ rich  _ before.

It was incredible how quickly her presence settled Adrien, the storm around him calming and dispersing, giving way to a peaceful sleep.

The tongue of the ancients filled Nino’s ears as Marinette turned her attention back on Kim. He watched on as midnight hair turned the shade of a scarlet dawn and ribbons of light spilled from Marinette’s form and created a dress of ethereal beauty.

The power of a goddess had come out to play. Nino made sure he burned the sight into his memory. To others, it was only Marinette standing there, holding Adrien close, but to Nino, Marinette had become the Goddess of Creation judging a sinner for his wrongdoings.

Had she not forgiven Kim, the God of Destruction would surely have come to deliver her judgement, and Kim would not have been so lucky as to get away unscathed.

It was a little hard to reconcile the Marinette he’d known since childhood with the being that technically granted him his abilities, so he analyzed her form and redefined her in his mind’s eye.

They quietly returned to school. 

Marinette, still not herself, unintentionally ordered for her stuff to be brought back to her, she couldn’t do it herself when she was caring for Adrien after all. She must have been tired as well, unknowingly using the powers of the gods. 

Though she looked vaguely like Marinette, he knew better that it still wasn’t quite her. At the moment, she was meshed between Marinette, his sweet friend, and the all powerful Goddess of Creation. He wasn’t sure how much of the being before him was Marinette and how much was goddess, so he couldn’t risk earning her ire, especially when it was  _ her  _ powers that allowed Nino to see and hear the things he did, so he bowed to show his respect and left with Alya. It seems Nino had been smart to do that, for he felt her approval on his back as he fled.

When they returned to the classroom, Marinette was just Marinette again and she had fallen asleep.

Nino sighed quietly in relief.

There was no need to worry about someone accidentally disrespecting her or the repercussions of Marinette using such incredible power for too long.

Master Fu had told him that sometimes, when in distress or feeling a stong emotion, such as the need to protect which Marinette had felt earlier, holders of the Miraculous could tap into the powers of the kwami. Using such powers could possibly hurt the body as humans were not made to handle otherworldly powers.

Nino didn’t notice when the rest of the day continued on without him, he stayed in his mind, thinking, about everything he’d been learning, only coming out every now and then and eventually, the school day was over.

<◉>

The guilt and longing was beginning to crush Nino. 

He had learned so many fantastic things over the past five days, and yet he couldn’t tell anyone. Not even Alya.

Especially not Alya.

Nino couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore, couldn’t even look her way, or he’d have to fight the urge to spill everything he was sworn to keep and then he’d have to fight the sore guilt that had burned a hole into his heart. 

He didn’t deserve to be her boyfriend, being so dishonest with her all the time now. 

How could he be her boyfriend when he kept so much of himself locked away and out of reach? How could he bask in her love when he was hiding something so important? 

So he stayed silent, and his chest  _ ached  _ at the inability to even talk to her anymore.

He knew that he couldn’t be the proper boyfriend she deserved anymore. Proper boyfriends didn’t keep such large secrets from their partner, so he knew he had to break it off, even if doing so would eternally break him, she deserved someone better.

But when he tried, he couldn’t. He couldn’t even say a word, and though it was against better judgement, he couldn’t let her go. He hadn’t wanted to, but he had needed to, and yet he couldn’t even do that.

If he stayed so close to her, he could possibly bring danger to her. 

He was a liability to her now and yet he couldn’t fight away the desire to stay close.

The constant battle against his own heart was exhausting and he was sure that it would inevitably leave it broken. 

Like a moth drawn to a flame, she drew him in and he _ couldn’t stay away, _ even as the shame for being beside her tore his insides apart and the akuma at the end of the day reminded him how much he could hurt her by staying with her. 

At the very least, he could stay one step behind her. 

One step of distance. One step’s worth of safety.

How he  _ yearned  _ to be on equal footing with her again, to be able to proudly stand beside her and hold her hand and laugh with her, but now he could only watch on and barely keep himself together.

No matter how much he wanted to tell her everything, he couldn’t, it could risk Marinette and Adrien and it would betray the confidence Master Fu had placed in him. 

You cannot unhear what’s been heard and ignorance is bliss after all. 

Even if it didn’t risk Marinette and Adrien, the knowledge could place Alya in more danger than she already was in with him around.

He almost wanted to cry.

Nino stared at his wall in despair, once again he sat in the dark.

How much longer could he keep this up?

A pitiful laugh escaped him as he thought about it, not for long, that’s for sure. Not for long.

And despite it all, he still had dutifully gone to Master Fu’s lesson earlier.

The shame and guilt was starting to turn to self loathing. 

How had Fu thought he could handle this? 

Nino remembered the way Master Fu had looked at him earlier, guilt and sympathy mixing in his gaze to form a cloud of smoke about his head. 

So Fu knew he couldn’t handle it. 

He had experienced it all before himself. He had a lifetime worth of experiencing the pain Nino was just learning.

There was a knock on his door, but Nino didn’t spare it a glance.

_ It must be Maman come back to check on him again _ . He thought, so he ignored it.

There was a light tapping again and Nino knew that if he didn’t say she could come in, she would without his permission, at least he could let her in by his own choice, so he said, “Come in.”

The door creaked open but Nino still didn’t look at it, even as light spilled in and warmly lit his room.

“Nino.”

His eyes widened and his breath caught sharply. 

That was not his mother’s voice.

His lungs seized, he barely breathed. His heart beat painfully in his chest.

Slowly he turned his head to the door, and, dreadfully, his ears had not heard wrong.

He felt a small part of him break at the one that had caught his heart in her grasp, the one he needed to leave, the one that plagues his thoughts day and night.

“Alya.” 

It was the first time he’d talked to her in 24 hours, the first he’d looked at her properly, and her golden eyes were as beautiful and sharp as ever.

Alya’s heart throbbed at the way he had uttered her name. 

It had been said with such reverence, such love, love she hadn’t known he still had for her. 

Her chest ached at the way he looked.

The room was dark and he was sitting cross legged, blankets strewn about him. His glasses were placed haphazardly on his bedside table. His eyes were wide and his face tight in pain, his mouth screwed up in a grimace he was failing to hide.

She almost felt herself bend and give in. She didn’t have to hear it.

But then she remembered how he’d acted earlier, and she was tired of it, tired of him being so distant. She couldn’t take it anymore and if she had to wade through mud to return their relationship to what it was, she would. 

Nino was temporarily shutting down. 

There was no way she was here. No way. She couldn’t be here, she couldn’t be standing before him, and yet here she was, walking towards him, trying to reconnect even though he had given up. 

Trying to bring back what had been lost.

The thoughts made him swallow painfully.

What had been the point? What had been the point of becoming Guardian when even now, he was waiting for something or someone to bring back what had been lost? That was one of the reasons he’d said yes to Master Fu and yet here he was, the same as before.

If nothing was going to change, why had he said ‘yes’ and driven such a wedge between him and Alya?

Even if he got the power of the Turtle Miraculous, even if he had all the knowledge in the world about the Miraculous, what could he even do with it if he’d driven away the one he’d done it all for?

Tears spilled over and he gasped a sob.

There was no point to it all if he lost Alya. No point at all.

Alya didn’t know what was happening, she didn’t know, but he was hurting and she was here and she had hands to help him. 

She wrapped her arms around him and he sobbed into her, holding her close as if she could disappear any moment.

What was it that had broken him like this?

What was it that had pushed him into a corner like this?

She wouldn’t know until he calmed down but she could and  _ would  _ wait for him. She’d been waiting so long already, what’s a few more measly minutes?

When Nino finally calmed, she was the one to speak first. 

“I’m here to collect my favor.” 

Nino chuckled softly, “I figured.”

She looked him in the eye again. They were so tired, and they were resigned, she’d get her answer.

“What are you hiding?” She asked quietly and Nino averted his gaze with a sad smile, “I knew you came here for that. Well, it’s not like I could have hidden it anyways,” he sighed, “I’m sure  _ he’ll  _ be able to forgive me for this.” He looked to her again, “and I hope you do to.”   
She hadn’t wanted to force an answer out of him if she could help it, so she was glad to know that he wanted to tell her of his own will. So she waited patiently for him to answer her.

He took several breaths and braced himself. Once he says anything, he can’t take it back, but he can’t keep it to himself anymore. 

“I met someone.” He started, “Back when I had gone to get tickets for our movie date. He told me about a very important secret. Will you promise to keep it to yourself?” He hoped she said yes.

She didn’t really have to think much about her answer. She had the feeling that what he would say would help her with even the Adrienette problems and make things start to make sense. Even if she didn’t know what it was she needed to keep secret, it had been important to Nino and the only way she would learn what it was would be to say yes, so there was no way she would say otherwise. She hadn’t come here for nothing.

Nino watched her expression as she thought, and before she even opened her mouth, he knew her answer.

“Yes. I promise.”

The air in the room shifted and it felt as if a large lock had just been opened.

When he started to talk, the Voice of Creation did not stop him, in fact, he felt it was egging him on, so this must be alright. Things would be alright, surely.

“I met the Guardian of the Miraculous, the current owner of the Turtle Miraculous, and he has decided to make me his successor, which also means I now carry the identity of Ladybug, Chat Noir, and the other heroes.”

Alya was surprised of course. This was not what she had expected to be talking about but she took it in stride. Nino’s recent behavior made perfect sense. She was about to tell him she didn’t have to hear who the heroes were, that if he wanted, he didn’t have to say anything else, but the rest spilled form his mouth like a dam breaking, the waters of truth unrooting Alya and sending her whirling.

He even explained the way Marinette reacted to Kim though not how she knew where he was because even Nino didn’t know that. What stuck the most and made Alya freak out was of course the “Marinette is Ladybug and Adrien is Chat” part.

Her view of the world she hadn’t realized had been warped and twisted suddenly cleared and now her mind was running through the past three years, making connections and clarifications and now  _ everything  _ made sense.

Alya didn’t feel the scratching at the back of her mind ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I gave Nino some unnatural powers! That had not been planned before I wrote this chapter but it fit. I love the idea of Guardian!Nino and there's some really good fanfic out there that has him. I feel like it would be smarter to have him as guardian rather than leaving it to Marinette for the various reasons I mentioned through Master Fu earlier.  
> I enjoyed reading all of your guys' speculation in the last chapter!
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Any comments, questions, speculation, feedback or if any one has noticed a problem in plot that I missed, I'd love to hear it!
> 
> Next Monday we should be returning to Marinette and Adrien! I hope you look forward to it!


	13. The Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the feedback last chapter!  
> I took this chapter's name from the Christina Perri song, The Lonely, and it's heavily inspired by not just this song but some of the songs by Gabbie Hanna, mostly Pillowcase.  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

Not long after Nino’s confession and not terribly far away, Adrien stared up at his distant ceiling.

It was Tuesday night, rather late, in fact so late it was now Wednesday. Though Adrien supposed it wasn’t actually all that late, not when his nights went on longer than his days.

He shifted so that he was on his side, and he thought. 

His lungs were heavy with ash, his throat scratched, his toes felt as if they were burning, but he wasn’t going to fight fire tonight.

There were nights when he wasn’t burning alive, the fire just at bay, but was drowning in his thoughts, because he can’t escape those, no matter how much he wanted to. 

It was one of those nights.

He doesn’t exactly have control of the thoughts, but they’re usually debilitating, usually depressing, usually cutting, and he can’t fight them. If he struggles, it hurts more. If he doesn’t fight, the thoughts will take their course and eventually let him breathe again. 

So he lets them wash over him.

At first, all he can think is, _I’m cold._

Normally, that’s nothing unusual, but Adrien is almost always on fire these days, there’s hardly ever a time he’s actually _cold._ But he’s cold here.

He’s cold here because this house is cold and often it’s so cold its freezing, and the freezing _burns._

You would think that in this cold house, he wouldn’t feel any heat, and yet it does the exact opposite.

Here, this house is always empty, always cold, always leaving room for the fire to spark because there’s nothing warm here and fire always comes when its too cold.

So he burns and dies every day and night like clockwork, like a phoenix, except he isn’t reborn brand new. When the fire dies down and he’s able to function, he’s as exhausted as he was before.

Why is it so cold here? 

He’s often asked himself that question, but the only answer he gets is that the sun has left.

Now its dark and dreary, and he’s left here, alone, with his father whose presence he barely makes known. It’s always just enough so that Adrien doesn’t forget his existence. But its always only that much.

It must be colder here because his father’s heart is gone. It walked out that unnecessarily large set of doors with his mother. 

The pain that always comes from thinking these thoughts starts to overcome the fire on his toes, but the smoke in his lungs only grows.

Plagg, curled up in Adrien’s collarbone, begins to purr and Adrien is so grateful.

If it hadn’t been for Plagg, he would’ve truly felt utterly alone within the cage of this house. 

Since his mother left, no one lives in this house.

The undead walk its halls, because Adrien no longer lives within these walls, not even his father does. Within these walls there is only the haunting emptiness of echoing laughter from years long ago, finally unable to instill any warmth within the marble prison.

Adrien forgot what love had felt like. He realizes now that it wasn’t when his mother left, it was earlier than that. Perhaps around the time he was five or six, when his mother had fallen ill.

Then something disappeared from his life and doors were suddenly more often closed than they were open. Even all that time ago, this house had been empty.

After that, it had felt as if something was strained between his family, like the house holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. And it took years, but something eventually _did_ happen.

There was yelling and wailing and crying one evening, and then there were many people coming in and out of his father’s atelier bringing boxes upon boxes of things.

He never saw his mother again after that day, and the boxes had disappeared somewhere. Both of them had walked into that mysterious atelier and never come out again. 

Gabriel told him with reluctance that his mother had left. Adrien didn’t fully believe it for a long time, but then Gabriel had eventually handed over a note that had been found.

It was small, written on a sticky note in Emilie’s looping but neat handwriting. Only five letters. 

_‘Sorry’_

That’s it.

That’s all it was. 

And yet it had made it feel like the world the was falling apart around him.

His father spent more time in his atelier after that, sometimes he would even sleep in there instead of in his room. It no longer surprised Adrien when Gabriel would wake up in the middle of the night and run for the atelier like his life depended on it.

Gabriel, though not always the most affectionate, closed himself off since then and Adrien suffered from it. He couldn’t remember the last time his father smiled at him.

It stung.

Adrien remembered how he suffered from that new schedule change this past week, how much it tore at his health because he almost never had a moment to rest, even at night. And it wasn’t Gabriel’s fault that he didn’t know that, Adrien was hiding it. As the continual stress tore at his already thread bare mental state, he had tried to talk to Gabriel, tried to reason with him for less activities to cut into school, but he never was allowed to even see the man and it often resulted in more activities under the sole reasoning of, “If you have time to complain, you have time for another photoshoot.”

Eventually, Adrien had to give up and try his best at the photoshoots, cause if he didn’t, he’d have to redo it the next day. Adrien was lucky he had been able to keep so much school time. 

Finally, at the end of the week of punishment, yesterday, Gabriel had shown himself.

<◉>

_Adrien walked tiredly up the stairs to the mansion, the sunset glinting off its windows._

_It had been a long week, and now the punishment was over._

The punishment was over _._

_Adrien only felt this relieved a few other times and all of them included Marinette._

_A smile almost slipped onto his face, but then he’d opened one of the doors to the mansion and froze._

_Gabriel stood high above him at the top of the stairs, demanding attention. His cold gaze pierced him. When he saw his son’s appearance though, it softened, just the slightest._

_He could see the boy was tired. That meant the lesson had been taught. He still asked anyways._

_“Have you learned why you should not take advantage of the privileges I’ve allowed you?”_ _  
_ _Adrien tried his best not to curl in on himself, if he did, then Gabriel would be mad, again._

_“Yes father. Should I be ungrateful, I lose them.” Adrien was proud he had gotten that out without a single tremor. Proud that he had not averted his gaze. He does not think of how he has to say “yes father” when responding to Gabriel even when it’s not answering after a punishment._

_“Good.” Gabriel’s voice was colored in warmth, his body relaxing almost imperceptibly, and despite himself, Adrien felt the slightest bit of happiness, because at the moment, his father was_ proud _of him, proud he’d learned from a mistake._

_The bitterness and happiness mixed and molded and fought within him, leaving him wanting to cry._

<◉>

Tears spilled down Adrien’s face silently, stinging his eyes, and for some reason, they seemed as if they were made of black, murky, ink; just rolling shadows. 

He knew his father had the best of intentions, and that’s what hurt so much, because that meant he couldn’t blame him. That meant he couldn’t help but stay and continue to love him. 

His father loves him back, he really does, and Adrien knows that, it’s just that it’s not in the way Adrien needs, its not enough… it’s not right, and Adrien blamed himself for that. Because maybe the reason things feel off is because Adrien is being too selfish, wanting too much of his tired father. 

At least his father cares, he wants the best of Adrien, that’s all. 

And yet... it’s _still lacking._

Why is it lacking?!

Why can’t he be satisfied with what his father gives him?

Adrien has only been able to realize what is wrong recently.

It was caring, it was wanting the best for him, but it was neglectful and blind to his emotional state. It _is_ lacking. 

That’s what Gabriel’s _Love_ is. 

It is so very different to Marinette’s.

Adrien shakes in silent sobs as he’s forced to think of things he doesn’t want to just yet, the inky tears piling on the pillow and slipping down, marring it’s perfect, pristine whiteness. 

Marinette’s love… it is so warm. 

_She_ is warm, and sweet, and often smells like sugar, vanilla, fresh bread, and the hint of something floral.

She loves with all her heart, and protects what she loves with her own hands and her own power. She is incredibly strong despite her outer appearance. He’d even say that she is stronger than Ladybug. 

It was because of her that he was able to bear being in this house anymore, otherwise he might have been driven to insanity. She was his reprieve from this cold house. 

House. 

It was always _house_ and never _home,_ because when he thought of home, it was not here.

When he thinks home, he thought of her arms.

Her arms are always open to him, they always welcome him, no matter how broken he is. They never turn him away. 

Those arms promised rest, they promised solace, they promised _safety._

He feels as if he is finally whole in those arms.

It is incredible how despite how small they are, it felt as if they carried the world.

Adrien felt disturbed that he didn’t even feel safe in this house though. Parents are supposed to make you feel safe. That’s they’re supposed to do, and yet whenever Gabriel comes near him anymore, his hair stands on end and he has to fight the urge to cower or tremble.

He shouldn’t get the feeling that he’s in danger, but there’s something about his father that makes him afraid that is not limited to the way Gabriel acts. 

Marinette doesn’t make him afraid. He shouldn’t be comparing his friend and his father but he is.

Because, he knows now that he’s not being selfish for wanting a little more. He knows that thanks to Marinette. He knows now that people can give _so_ much love. Even when they’re breaking. 

The coldness of his room, this house, his father, are beginning to scratch at him.

He wants to see Marinette. 

The first sob breaks through and it’s so pitiful and weak. The ink has formed a steady waterfall down the side of his bed, but his tears wouldn’t stop and they collected as a thin layer across the floor. 

He wonders if his mind is so unsettled, so unhinged, that he’s making it all up. 

Plagg finally speaks up. 

“Kid, go to her. I know you want to. Just go.”

It’s enough to stir him, he sits up, but the tears won’t stop and he’s sure that they won’t until he sees her. 

The ink stains his nightshirt as well but he doesn’t think much of it, it’s not even real, just like the flames that constantly corner him. 

Then he sets his feet down on the floor to stand and it’s wet. It surprises him only a little. He’s not sure if it’s not just his mind convincing even his sense of touch that it’s there. 

If it was there, he wouldn’t think much of it then either. Even if it stained everything. He kinda wishes it _was_ real, so it _would_ stain and stick. The evidence of his pain.

It’d be a pain to get out, it might not even budge.

His father sure wouldn’t like it.

He walks to his open window filled with moonlight, his feet making small splashes every step he takes. 

Then he’s out and gone. He doesn’t even remember uttering the transformation phrase.

<◉>

Marinette’s awake of course. Even if it's past midnight, there’s no reason she wouldn’t be awake. Sleep will no longer come to her and she’s glad she can fight it off.

She only has her lamp on because she needs at least that much light to work on homework and commissions and her normal hobbies.

When Marinette isn’t frightened or uneasy from trauma, she doesn’t mind the night all that much, it’s like her new day and because of it, she’s found more inspiration.

The night, despite it’s darkness, is lovely and charming on its own, even when most of the night life has finally quieted and the city of lights has dimmed in brightness. It’s surprisingly quiet and just that quietness, that pause from hectic life, is nice. She’s realized that each hour of the day is precious in its own way and she almost regrets she has to sleep some of it away, whether it be during the day or night.

There’s a knocking that draws her from her mind. She’s startled when she finally focuses on reality again, because she can hear a familiar heartbeat above her. It’s aching and breaking and it makes her jump to her feet, because something has hurt him and she doesn’t know what and it’s made him come to her.

Marinette flies up her ladder to her trap door, rushing out of it in a flurry of worried movement.

Bluebell finds green and widens in surprise because there’s ink running down his face, swallowing all light. His shoulders are hunched, he’s curling in on himself, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso as if trying to hold himself together. His ears are flat against his head and his tail is limp behind him. The ink is beginning to collect on her balcony in small little puddles and if she looks past him, she can see drops of it on her railing. He doesn’t look physically hurt, but through the black that has begun to take over the green sclera, she knows he’s in pain. She knew that before she even got up here.

Chat Noir startles when there’s arms wrapped around him. She had moved so fast and though he hadn’t been sure what to expect, he didn’t think Marinette would have immediately rushed him at first sight, but why didn’t he? He had known before that her arms are open to him, he had thought of it not so long ago. 

His arms respond before his mind and she’s just as much in his arms as he is in hers. A sob breaks through and it’s impossible to fight the sound. He hadn’t had to fight them in that house, they never come when he’s there, but here, safe in accepting arms, its like a downpour and he simply can’t stop.

Marinette still doesn’t know what’s going on, still doesn’t know why he’s here, but he’s hurting and that’s all that matters to her at the moment.

She leads him into her room, not bothering to try to keep the inky tears from staining anything. In fact, she lets them fall, lets them slide off her white camisole and collect on her pink sheets, staining them with drops of darkness. 

It’s his pain and it should not have to be hidden or held back.  
She holds him in the silence of her room and the comfort of her bed, holds him till the tears begin to slow enough for him to speak. Curled up in the corner, she kisses him till he’s calm, kisses his forehead, his cheeks, his eyes, showing him that someone’s here, someone cares, and its okay now because she’s here. She’s here, and she’s not gonna leave. 

His voice breaks and he’s interrupted by his own sobs, hiccups, and whimpers as he tells her why he’s here, why he’s crying. “I- I just-just can’t anymore! I can’t stay there in that cold house and pretend that things aren’t broken… that things aren’t right. I-I know he loves me, I _know_ he does, but-but sometimes I can’t help but wonder, d-does he really? And I feel like it’s wr-wrong of me t-to want more, but I can’t make myself stop wanting more and it’s s-so much harder now that I know wh-what it’s like to… to be loved again.” 

She can tell how desperately he’s trying to convince himself that he _is_ loved. The words “loved _again_ ” make her heart ache because now she wonders how long it’s been since he _felt_ loved? This boy, so brilliant and full of light and wonder, this boy who jokes all the time, this boy who tried so hard to attain her love and still hasn’t given up, is broken because he’s been denied for so long when he _deserves_ to be loved.

She wants to curse whoever denied him but she can’t because the weight of guilt crushes her, she contributed to this. She contributed to this break down and that means she made him hurt. She knows that she can’t exactly blame herself for being unable to give him her heart because everyone has the right to decide who their heart goes to, but she wishes so much that she _had_ been able to. If she hadn’t met Adrien, its very possible she _would_ have given it to him, she would have answered him with a ‘yes.’

A wicked and biting voice whispers in response, “ _You hurt the one you most loved. You caused your most beloved pain. Want to know why? Because he is…_ ”   
She shoves the voice away before it can finish.

There’s no changing the past now, no matter who she ended up hurting, what matters now, is that she _fixes_ her mistake. Even if she can’t give her heart to him the way he wants, she can love him. She _will_ love him.

So she holds him close and lets his tears fall, lets them stain her because she deserves it. They stain her fingers that wipe them away, they stain her lips that kiss him lovingly, they stain her arms that hold him close. 

Those inky black tears fall onto her cheeks and roll down them, leaving marks on her face as if _she’s_ the one who’s been crying and maybe she has. They drip down onto her collarbone and they seep into her heart. They soak it in his sadness and it becomes almost impossible to tell whose heart she hears.

When he’s eventually out of tears, he futilely tries to get up, to go back to his house and he utters a soft “thanks” but there’s no way she’d let him go because he’s still hurting.

She pulls him back down, pulls him close and continues to hold him, she whispers into his ear, “You don’t have to go, you’re not bothering me, and I’d prefer you stay.” After she says that, he cries a little again, and holds her back. 

He’s so relieved to stay, so relieved he doesn’t have to go back, so relieved that he’s not bothering her, so relieved that he begins to fall asleep. 

Marinette sighs after his heart steadies, he’s finally asleep, finally resting, and the emotional rollercoaster she just went on has left her exhausted as well.

“Tikki? Do you think it's okay to keep him here? Plagg won’t be exhausted from holding the transformation right?” Tikki doesn’t leave her current hiding place, she knows Marinette can hear her from where she is. “It should be fine, Plagg is strong, he’ll be okay, I think, but seeing how things are, maybe you should finish your preparations?” She doesn’t mention that Plagg may release the transformation on his own just to get things moving if he can.

Marinette nods to herself, “Alright, I’ll remember tomorrow, I only have a few things left to do so it should be done soon.” She pulls the stained blankets out from under her and brings them over her and Chat.

She snuggles close.

Tikki floats away from her hidden bed long enough to flick the lamp off, “Good night Marinette.”

There’s a space of time before she hears the response, but it’s there even if it’s quiet and softened by sleep. 

“Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! We have reached the point in which they sleep at night too! Not quite a full night but we're working on it.  
> I had to redo this chapter like five or six times before I was satisfied so I hope it got all that I wanted across!  
> Thank you for reading! <3  
> Any comments, questions, feedback, and speculation are well appreciated!
> 
> Next chapter is on Friday _(or Saturday depending on where you live)_ and for once we go over a good dream and not nightmares!


	14. Sun and Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I am so sorry for the late release!!!  
> My family decided to go on another impromptu vacation and the time got away from me. Which means, unfortunately, I have not finished the art piece I planned to post today as thanks for 300 kudos!!!!  
> 300 kudos guys! That’s amazing! Thank you all so much for the support!  
> I’ll get the art piece up at some point. I’ll likely also come back to make sure I didn’t miss any mistakes.  
> For now we get some sweet dreams!  
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> [Last edited 25/11/20]

It was dark.

It was dark,

but not for long.

There was a feeling of unraveling. It was not unpleasant. 

Just the feeling of relaxing and opening up. 

The sound of something large and heavy shifting around her filled her ears.

Marinette’s eyes fluttered open in time to see the darkness move and reveal starlight.

There was no moon, but the stars were so bright, there was no need for one. There were small lights filling every centimeter of the sky, like silver glitter having been spilled across a yard of navy fabric that stretched on through eternity.

Around her was water, an ocean, that continued past the horizon, disrupted only by large, iridescent crystals jutting up out of it, reaching for the stars. There was no land in sight.

The water was inky blue, a match to the navy of the sky, and was calm, almost mirror-like. 

At first, Marinette thought it reflected the stars above her head, but upon closer look, it held its own stars, golden and warm in that silly cartoonish shape of a star that wasn’t actually anything like one. Beautiful fish swam about and many whales were present too, each creature having a glow of its own, as if trying to mimic the night sky above them with specks and lines of fluorescence. 

Bubbles drifted up from the depths and floated around her with a soft shimmering glow in the rainbow way all soap bubbles have. Sometimes, they would even bring up stars close enough for Marinette to touch.

Marinette looked down at what she was sitting on, a large, blush pink lotus. Then she noticed herself. Her skin was a pale blue shade and she wore a white dress. Large strands of midnight surrounded her, and upon closer inspection, she realized it was her own hair. It shimmered and sparkled like the sky above her. 

When Marinette leaned over to look at her reflection, an earring of silver white fell into her view, a small diamond shape at the end of the thin, inch long chain. Then Marinette’s eyes focused on her likeness mirroring in the water. Her face looked no different than before aside from the blue hue, but her freckles were stardust and a small ring of light floated around her head. There was a crescent shape in the middle of her forehead, bright and white, as if light was pouring forth from it.

It seemed as if, perhaps, _she_ was the moon, and somehow, that sounded right.

Her fingers came up to brush over her cheeks, weary that perhaps just touching them, the stardust would simply fall off from a simple graze. 

She noticed a bracelet of seven charms, made from colors of the day, a red string holding it together, tying her to… to… she couldn’t remember, but seeing it brought warmth to her chest and before she knew it, she was smiling. She must have gotten this bracelet from her sun, because she felt as if, without them, she surely would not have been able to shine as she does now. 

Moving forward caused her to notice the slight pull of the copious amounts of hair she now had, but there was also a tug at her back that spiked her curiosity.

Marinette sat back carefully and then turned her head to see what was causing the feeling of extending senses from her shoulder blades only to see two large, fairy like wings that had a similar look to them as the bubbles and crystals surrounding her. They were incredibly large and insect-like. She was sure that if she stood, they’d reach mid shin.

Unlike Marinette expected, none of these changes to her body brought the surprise that should have been and she only faintly worried on where Tikki was. 

At the moment, there was a feeling of need, an energy thrumming beneath the surface of her skin, and she stood, unhindered by her hair. It almost seemed to float around her like in water when she moved. 

Her wings lifted and stretched their points to the semi-darkness above her, and then they were moving, so very naturally. It took little to no effort lifting her off the lotus to hover _just_ above it. Exhilaration pulsed through Marinette’s veins at being able to move. 

Marinette looked around and noticed there were actually many pods around her, likely more lotuses. Some were completely white, some more pink, some a light blue. 

She moved towards them, a new need rising in her chest. A need to _take care_ of the beautiful things. Perhaps more people might join her if she did. 

<◉>

It was dark.

It was dark, 

but it never changed.

The only light there was came from him and the small blue fires that floated and flitted about him. 

He did not know what he was searching for nor why he felt the need to search for anything. 

He had simply opened his eyes and felt the need to _move_. To walk. So he walked.

His movements were slowed by some heavy weight and sometimes invisible things pushed against him, but he continued on mindlessly. 

The only thing he’d noticed since he started was his body and that he was all alone.

His skin had once held a golden glow, this he knew must be true, but at some point, some point he doesn’t remember for it was before he started walking, his skin had faded to an ashy grey. As if he’d finally burnt out. And yet red lines ran through his body, warming him from the ever present cold of the darkness around him.

The dim red glow from those lines were the only things that faintly illuminated his way, only enough to see a few steps ahead of him, though there was no real point since the black ground beneath never changed. It was always flat, maybe a crack here and there or a pebble, but nothing else.

Adrien had once attempted to approach one of the blue fires, but whenever he came close, they would snap out of existence as if frightened, but when he looked at his hands, he understood why.

If someone approached you with sharp claws and teeth, you too would be frightened. On his grey hands sat a golden ring on his right ring finger, a small circle that still glowed with warmth and color that had left him. He didn’t have a shirt, but he had _(what he thought had once been)_ ivory puffed pants that ended mid shin, strings of rope holding them up around his waist and tightening the end of the pant legs. He was barefoot aside from an anklet of seven charms. 

At the edge of his vision, just beyond his white-ish fringe of hair, a yellow ring encircled his head, reminding him of the sun, though he no longer remembered what that must have looked like. He’d been wandering for far too long, with only the embers of his fading self to guide him and the company of the wisps. Those were what told him he was actually moving anymore.

Eventually, there was finally a change.

Large structures jutted out of the ground and reached up into the void. Structures was probably the wrong term though, because when he hesitantly neared them, they were huge crystals. They had all but lost their luster to the darkness here, but when his red light reflected off him, it would dance eerily against them, casting shades of scarlet across the ground. 

What he enjoyed the most about them though, was not what happened when he neared them, but what happened when he left them, because when he left them, as if taking strength from the small amount of light he could offer, they would shimmer like they might have in the past and Adrien could see pastel rainbows for the first time in a very long time, and they held onto their light for a long time after he’d left them. It made him feel as if he was doing something good.

The wisps began to diminish in number as he continued on, but he started to notice lights moving far far above him. 

At one point, when there were almost no wisps at all, he came upon a forest of stalks that shot up from the earth and Adrien began to inexplicably feel as if he was close to his goal, close to finding what he was searching for. 

Adrien had not begun to notice till now, but his body was starting to break apart and drift away in the form of ash. Pieces of him had been swept away by some current and along his journey, he’d lost his arm. Adrien knew when a part of him would disappear because the embers in his skin would fade away.

It didn’t hurt. Not one bit. And that’s probably why it took so long for him to notice it at all.

Adrien just wished and wished for whatever was taking him to at least leave his legs for now. It could have his arms, he didn’t need those, but he needed his feet to get where he needed to. He knew that at least. 

His other arm finally turned to ash and his ring dropped to the ground.

Adrien didn’t know why he had it, didn’t know why it was important, but it was, and he needed it. He didn’t know why, but he supposed that didn’t matter. He’d eventually find out. So he stooped down to the ground and picked the glittering gold up with his teeth, and continued stumbling along.

<◉>

Marinette had aided the growth of many lotuses, watching them grow from small little things to something large enough to fit another person, but they never were as large as hers and they never opened, even so, she knew they’d bloom soon. They were just waiting for something like she was, and then they’d open their petals. So she continued to grow and help more in the meantime.

It stayed nighttime, never once did her sun come to see her, and she wondered if something happened to him, if perhaps he’d disappeared and left her all on her own, but surely she would fade in brilliance if that happened. So he must still be out there, must still believe in her. He likely just needed to rest, that’s why she was there, to provide a time of rest and change. So she could wait patiently.

<◉>

More time passed, there were more stalks, more crystals. The crystals were smaller though, and eventually they stopped appearing. The stalks all seemed to be equally spaced and about the same size. He wondered what they grew. 

Adrien was beginning to feel tired. Most of his body was gone now. 

Large portions of his chest no longer existed, one of his shoulders were completely gone, he only had one leg now, the one with the greyed out charms, and half his face was no longer there anymore, causing him to look at his dark world with a single eye. 

He was so so tired. His body could barely keep itself together, he wanted nothing more than to rest. But he pushed on, because he felt that there was somewhere he needed to return to. Surely that somewhere promised rest and solace. He had an inkling that what he was looking for was incredibly warm, somewhere he was always welcome and never felt afraid. 

As he began to doubt he could continue on, he found a stalk larger than any of the others he’d seen yet. What was left of his existence pulled him to it and when he neared it, he felt something so very warm.

It was done. His journey was done. 

He collapsed there, against the stalk and it’s roots. No other had roots that protruded from the ground like this one.

Here he felt safe. He was okay now. He’d be okay.

And he let himself go. His form fell away, becoming nothing more than a pile of ash aside from the ring, the charm bracelet, and an ember that continued to glow and pulse.

<◉>

There was a familiar thrum in the air. 

Something was different.

The creatures of the sea moved in excitement and the crystals glowed brighter than ever before.

Something pulled at Marinette’s heart. Something important, something similar to longing.

Something _warm_ and _caring_ and _tired_.

She smiled. 

It must be her sun. 

Her sun had finally come. 

Her smile slipped just a little. 

But why was he so tired? 

He must have been fighting on his own, suffering for her once again. He always protected her, even if it hurt him, never realizing that without him, she could no longer be the moon. She had been nothing but a large rock without him. It was because of him that she could light the skies in the darkest of times.

The air, or perhaps it was just her that felt it, continued to pulse. It was coming from her lotus. She was sure of it.

She flew to it quickly, there in a moment.

Marinette would offer rest for him a bit longer. He could not be the sun if he was burnt out. 

From deep beneath the waves she felt the familiar pulse, the way it calmed her.

She pulled it to her, her roots taking in his battered form.

How long had he suffered down there in the dark? 

She didn’t know. 

She alighted in her lotus and settled at it’s center. The petals began to close, and the healing commenced. 

She poured her energy into it, formed it before her.

It would likely take a lot of effort. She had helped so many lotus pods grow and there were still stars, surely, it would be fine, to wane, aid her sun, and recover, becoming a new moon. She hasn’t left everything in total darkness, they will be fine without her for a little while.

<◉>

It was dark. 

It was dark,

but this time, this time there would be light once again.

Petals unfolded and a brilliant light overtook the dark like a dawn, allowing the moon her time to rest.

Adrien opened his eyes in the arms of what he’d been looking for. She was kneeling, holding him close as he rested his head in her lap.

Her bluebell eyes gazed at him in tired wonder. 

His moon.

He’d found his moon.

He reached up and gently caressed her pale blue cheeks, noticing how his own light had been returned. His thumb brushed across her stardust freckles and she tilted her head into the touch. He always loved them and the way they made ever changing constellations on the bridge of her nose. 

If her eyes weren’t so much more entrancing, he would stare at those stardust freckles for days and could never grow bored.

A circle of black sat in the middle of her forehead.

So she had used her power and made herself new for him.

The gratitude was overwhelming.

She always did so much.

He sat up, and looked upon her hard work. Spanning the horizon, there were many lotus pods. She was so amazing. 

He held her cheek in his palm and kissed her forehead in gratitude. 

Her eyes lit up with joy. 

She hugged him close, “My sun!” 

Ah yes, it was her arms he remembered. Her arms that reminded people there was still hope. 

They held each other close, only breaking apart after a great amount of time. 

When they stood, Adrien’s brilliance spilled across the ocean in scarlets and oranges and pinks, eventually turning the sky a bright blue, and one by one, the pods opened. 

Two of the closest revealed orange pointed ears with white tufts and weathered green skin, tough from overcoming trials.

Marinette started to lean on him as more and more time passed. When he looked over, dark lashes drooped. Her effort to stay awake was valiant as she tried to watch their work together, but she was tired and didn’t know how long she’d be able to stay up. “I’m sorry, my sun. I am too tired to stay awake any longer.” 

He gazed upon her lovingly, “It is fine, my moon, we have time.” He assured. 

“Rest for now, my beloved, I will still be here.” He cupped her head gently and leaned down to her, hesitating long enough to let his moon know that she could pull away, but she didn’t. She wanted her “goodnight.”

He pressed his lips to her in a sweet, tender kiss.

Her eyes fluttered shut in response and when they broke apart, she could barely stay awake. 

“Goodnight, my moon.”

<◉>

Adrien’s mind was fogged with sleep when he finally awoke. 

He was tired and he wanted to keep sleeping. It had been awhile since he’d slept this long, he wanted to savor it a bit more. He was warm and comfortable, but something annoying incessantly bugged him, tugging on his hair and pinching him, telling him over and over it’s time to wake up.

He didn’t want to yet. There was warmth wrapped around him, pulling him close and grounding him. 

There was a harder tug on his hair that threatened worse if he didn’t get up. 

He sighed, giving up on keeping his eyes shut so he could glare at the source of irritation. He was having such a good dream too. He was sure of it, but already it was slipping away from him with the grasp of sleep. He’d dreamt something important so it was even more terrible that he was being pulled from it.

His eyes found Plagg and he wondered why the cat who _never_ wanted to wake up was bugging him so dang early in the morning. Adrien hadn’t looked at his phone yet but he was pretty darn sure that he still had time to sleep in. 

The black kwami pointed down at something and Adrien’s eyes followed.

Shock drove every drop of sleep away and he was left, wide eyed, to gaze upon the beautiful girl in his arms, snuggled against his chest, his heart picking up its pace and making his face hot. 

_What did he do??!!?!_

Memories full of pain and comfort came flooding to the surface and _oh that’s right, I cried my eyes out in front of her omygosh-ahdfakshdfksdfkjahsdfkjaf_

Adrien’s mental breakdown was silenced when the girl in question began to scrunch up her face, moaning at being awoken at- what time was it? He reached for her phone after spotting it- 7:23. _Holy crap_ he had to start getting ready soon and he wasn’t at all near the house!

Acting fast, he covered her eyes with his hand just as they fluttered open. She tilted her head up toward where his face was, somehow guessing exactly where it was located. “Chat?” She mumbled, sleep softening her voice. 

“Uh, yeah,” in his attempt to keep his voice quiet, he’d unknowingly dropped to a level that normal humans would have a hard time hearing, let alone while they were sleepy, “I gotta go, Princess.” the nickname slipped out easily though he hadn’t even thought of it, “But I’ll come back later, alright?” He didn’t want to stay there too long though he’ll have to.

“Al...ight, ‘ll miss yu.” sleep slurred her sweet words, causing his heart to explode in happiness. 

_Miss me. She’ll miss me!_

Another tug at his hair brought him out of his thoughts. Without thinking, he pulled his hand back a little, seeing the way her eyes had drifted shut again, and he kissed her forehead. It had felt so natural. Like he’d already done it once and yet he couldn’t remember such a thing, though he remembered the way she kissed _him_ last night- 

His face began to heat up again and he quickly got up and out to the balcony, transformed, and was gone, not noticing the black stains he’d left behind, the black stains of his pain that she had accepted.

Marinette clung to the remaining warmth Chat Noir had left her and was able to continue to sleep _just a bit_ longer, before having to get up.

When Adien landed in his room through his open window, he released his transformation, and _finally_ noticed the remains of his tears.

The inky shadows had disappeared but his wood floors had turned grey and a thin line of deep grey lined the room. His rug had gone completely black and there were lines down his bedding where the tears had rolled off and stained his pillows. 

Oh _no_.

Father was going to be so _angry_ if he found out! He didn’t usually come to his room so if he could keep Nathalie out or convince her to get her help, then it could go unnoticed. He just had to replace his bedding, the rug, and possibly repaint some of the wall, but if he did, his father would never notice! He already doesn’t notice much anyways.

But for now, he needed to do something so that it didn’t seem like he had a hand in the destruction of his stuff, which meant flipping the pillow and moving his sheet around his bed so that the lines down it were hidden by the comforter. 

He had just finished dressing, stashing his stained pjs in a corner of his closet, when a knock came from the door with a reminder of how much time he had left before he needed to be downstairs for breakfast. 

“Coming!” he responded, and was soon out the door, heading for school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got some proper sleep! Was the symbolism hard to understand? 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! <3  
> Questions, comments, and feedback are all well accepted!


	15. Brownies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another late update!  
> While thinking about where I wanted to take this story, I ended up looking up baking quotes and found this one, which is why I've chosen the title to be brownies!  
> “A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it’s almost impossible to make and indelible batch of brownies.” -Linda Sunshine  
> I hope you all enjoy the chapter!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

There was no way she was getting the ink out. Not like she even wanted to, it almost looked to be a beautiful pattern if you weren’t paying too much attention to it, but the sudden appearance of large stains was hard to excuse and it might worry her mother. She’d definitely want to know where they came from.

Marinette _could_ have thrown it all out. She could’ve. But she didn’t want to.

They were inexplicably precious to her. 

Now, her pjs and bedding were a problem on there own, but what about the ink that simply wouldn’t come out of her skin?

There were lines down her cheeks, it covered her lips, and her fingertips were all but black. The ink that ran down her throat and chest could be hidden with clothes, but what about the rest?

Marinette sighed in defeat, resigned to lying. She hoped it worked well. She wasn’t sure if her parents would buy it but she couldn’t tell the truth. 

She walked down the stairs and greeted her parents, who, after getting a good look at her, immediately wanted to know. 

“Ah, right,” she stumbled over her words. Lying sucked. “I was experimenting with this ink I got recently and ended up spilling it all over my bed… and I couldn’t get the stains out.”

Sabine didn’t believe it for one second. She hadn’t seen any grocery bags or packages and her daughter didn’t use ink that could come in a bottle. There was also no way that she couldn’t get the majority of it out if she worked fast enough. Her daughter worked with fabric, it was impossible she wouldn’t know how to handle it properly. 

Still, there ought to be a reason for the lie, she knew her daughter hated it, so she’d let it go. If it’s important enough, her daughter will eventually come around to tell her what it was. She just had to wait. 

<◉>

For once, Adrien had gotten to school before Marinette, but that must have been because he’d been rushing the entire morning. 

He sighed gratefully as he slid into his seat, he wasn’t late. Thank heavens. 

Nino and Alya were already there. Alya would keep glancing back at him curiously while Nino would poke her side or flick her so that she would turn her attention back to him. Adrien was relieved to see that they were getting along now… if that’s what was going on. At least Nino wasn’t silent or blatantly ignoring Alya anymore. It had been worrying Adrien greatly.

Then Marinette walked into class with a bright smile and cheer in her voice as she proclaimed a “Good morning!” Hearing her sound like she once had and not dead tired made a smile come to his lips and he looked up to greet her in return.

He froze. Just as everyone else in the room. 

She walked up to her seat happily without a care in the world, as if she didn’t realize she looked like she’d just walked through a paint ball fight consisting entirely of black ink. 

Her face was covered in streaks and splotches of black as they had fallen onto her. Her fingertips were thoroughly coated and went to her knuckles, only then fading, but there were still lines from there, running up her arms, and some even going to her elbows. She was wearing a tank top for some reason, instead of her normal tee-shirt or hoodie that had become so customary, and the tank top practically flaunted the black that had collected on her collarbones and slipped down her chest, making Adrien have to pull the direction of his eyes back up to her face before his thoughts ran away with him. Black spattered her shoulders, especially her left, and trailed down her back.

Guilt ate at Adrien.

That was his fault. He’d cried his inky tears of shadow on her and stained her. They hadn’t left a mark on him. When he’d gotten home, the only sign of them on him had been his stained pjs, but when he’d dropped his transformation, there had been nothing on his own skin.

He had been thankful at the time, because then there was nothing to explain to his father unless he saw his room, but now he felt bad he’d been relieved at all.

“M,” Alya turned to Marinette as she readied for class, shock, surprise, and confusion taking turns on her face, something he was sure was replicated by everyone who saw her. She only barely gave a glance in Alya’s direction as she pulled books and pencils and sketchbooks out.   
“Hmm?” She hummed. “M.” Alya said again, which finally tagged Marinette’s attention.

“Is there anything wrong?” She asked innocently, but in that sort of way that felt almost like she knew _exactly_ what was going on but didn’t care to address it. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Alya rolled her eyes, “maybe that you’re covered in black marks?!” She snapped to her best friend.   
Marinette merely blinked, looked down at her hands and then her expression lit up like she’d learned something amazing, “Oh! You’re right! I completely forgot about it for a second there.” 

Was… was she giving them sass? Or had she honestly forgotten the easily noticeable discoloration? None of them could be sure. 

“Right, I was kinda experimenting with some ink last night and ended up spilling it everywhere.” She shrugged. “It happened late last night, so I ended up getting used to it I guess. Though it does catch my attention every now and then.” Her voice warmed at the end and she looked to the marks as if they were a gift. Her smile was a little wobbly, her eyes shining, but even so, she looked at them as if they were precious to her. There was a hint of guilt in there, but it disappeared so fast, Adrien couldn’t be sure he’d even seen it.

The thought that she hadn’t dismissed his pain nor hidden it like it something dirty made his heart fill and he wanted to cry. Not painful tears, but happy ones. 

<◉>

School had gone on uneventfully, and left the rest of their class shellshocked that the sleepyheads had only taken one small nap at one point and that they were so energetic. It had been awhile since they’d seen that.

Chat Noir kept up on his promise earlier that morning. Marinette had almost dismissed it as a sleep addled delusion until he arrived on her balcony at nine o’clock that night. 

Marinette had to quickly stuff her work into a drawer. She was almost done with the thing, she just needed to finish the embroidery. 

They’d played Ultimate Mecha Strike for awhile, worked on her homework, talked, etc.   
When Marinette began to tire around midnight, she shuffled over to her bed and climbed into it, having gotten into her pjs earlier. The stained ones were in the wash, her mother’s attempt to clean it up as much as possible, but Marinette hoped it wouldn’t clean at all. 

She wrapped herself in her stained blankets, her eyelids getting heavier and her mind foggier.

Chat Noir shuffled from foot to foot, watching her for some time, as if he didn’t know what to do with her. Finally he managed to stutter out, “Um, I’ll uh, just go if you want to sleep.”

He didn’t look like he really wanted to leave and Marinette didn’t want him to either. 

He began to carefully step around her nearly-asleep form, but he had to be careful cause he didn’t want to step on her covers, so he was kneeling. It was therefore rather easy for Marinette to grab onto him when he reached the ladder to her balcony. His surprise by being caught off guard made it even easier to tug him down.

Before he had even realized what was happening, he was already trapped beneath a few blankets and bound by a snuggly Marinette who had caught him and refused to let him go.

When she nuzzled into his chest with a sigh, it was impossible to tear himself from her, and even more impossible to keep from purring. 

It pulled a giggle from her before she drifted off and Chat was soon to follow suit.

Marinette woke once more to hands over her eyes and a frantic unmasked Chat who panicked from not only being in his civilian form but because he wasn’t sure how he felt about falling asleep in the same bed as a girl. 

It’s not like she couldn’t understand his flustering, but she liked holding him too much to care. It quelled an ever present buzz in the back of her mind that worried for his safety. 

So she held him closer, nuzzled him a little more, and sighed when he pressed that he needed to go through his hiccupping heart and hitching breath.

She needed to let him go this time, but she wasn’t sure about next time. Two more days. She only had to wait that long before she doesn’t have to let go. Well, if he continued to come back, but somehow she was certain that wasn’t a problem.

Marinette released him, eyes shut, and he left. 

It was still early so she went for a shower having missed it the night before. The stains still refused to leave, Marinette wasn’t worried. Except for maybe the ink that was above her heart. The area surrounding it had become paler with almost a purple tint, and when she touched the skin, it was incredibly sensitive, even sore.

Once again she left for school with another tanktop despite the cooling weather. She’d found one with a pun this time, and she was honestly a bit excited to wear it. Would Adrien find it funny? Chat Noir? 

Even if it was getting colder out, Adrien was plenty warm. She didn’t even get that cold drowsy around him. He was _that_ warm. She’d be sure to stick closer to him when winter arrived fully. Her aversion to the cold had only gotten worse as the years passed on while holding the miraculous of creation. 

The day turned out much like the one before with little to nothing unusual aside from the fact that Marinette and Adrien were sleeping far less. They still stuck close.

Later, Chat Noir dropped by once more at nine o’clock, and was again roped into being snuggled to sleep. 

It was no surprise to find hands covering her eyes again. It was kind of amazing how she always woke up after him. 

It was Friday though, so if Chat stayed again tonight, she wouldn’t have to let go so early in the moring… unless he was busy. That would suck but she’d have to put up with it. She couldn’t pull him from his life.   
The preparations were _so close_ to being done. She couldn’t wait to share them with Chat, especially when all of his body language made it clear he’d rather do anything than leave. She hoped it’d make him happy. 

<◉>

It was the third day they were watching Marinette come in, bright as the sun, the bruises beneath her eyes almost gone, and the ink stains had yet to fade at all. 

Both Nino and Alya wondered at how Adrienette’s sleepy eyes had begun to disappear. They must be doing something for each other. But what?

Well that was not what they were focusing on today. 

Alya leaned over to Nino and asked the question cause it had been _itching_ at her since she realized the stains haven’t gone away at all despite it having been a couple days. It was even stranger to see that Marinette was trying the exact opposite of hiding the marks. 

“What do you think really caused this?”

Nino looked over Marinette again before making his assessment despite already having noted and begun his own observations and theories.

“I think it was definitely something miraculous. There’s been something off with ‘Nette’s aura since. Every time I look directly at it, I hear crying and soothing, I feel anguish, and I smell something… familiar? I’m not sure what it is. It’s possible it was something like how she accessed creation’s power the other day. It not going away would make sense then.” Nino was always sure to be quiet when he talked about Miraculous things, always somewhat vague. “We’ll ask Master Fu about it later.” he concluded.

Since Nino had spilled, Alya had met with Master Fu.

<◉>

_“I apologize for breaking your trust! Please pick someone else to be the next Guardian!” Nino had cried as he had respectfully placed his forehead against the wood floor._

_Alya looked from Fu to Nino. After confessing everything, Nino had promptly dragged her to Master Fu’s apartment despite the late hour._

_Wayzz floated beside Master Fu as he gazed at his student with sympathy. He was hardly upset with the boy. He had known Nino to be very truthful, far more truthful than Fu and he struggled enough keeping the secret from his sweet Marianne. It was bound to happen, he just wished that Nino hadn’t told Alya everything, but he supposed he pushed too high of expectations on the boy._

_“I know it’s no excuse, but I believed I should tell you that the Voice of Creation also egged me on.” This had surprised Fu to say the least. That meant the girl had a reason to be dragged into this. He hadn’t planned to blame the boy before, but he certainly can’t blame him for following the Voice of Creation._

_“Raise your head, Nino.” Nino looked up in, awaiting the verdict, “I do not plan on picking anyone else.” The boy was shocked to say the least. After all, he’d just broken one of the rules he’d been given, why did he deserve another chance? But people grow from mistakes and Wang Fu was no stranger to breaking rules and facing their punishments. “I pardon you, but really, what you should truly be worried about is how Marinette will take having her secret outed without her knowing or consent.” Nino paled at the realization. She had the power of a goddess at her fingertips after all, and even without that, Marinette could still be quite scary._

_Master Fu turned to Alya, a soft and understanding look on his face, “I trust you will be able to keep this secret?” Alya nodded vigorously._

_“Alright then, you can be allowed to come to Nino’s lessons.”_

<◉>

It had surprised Nino to be so easily forgiven, but he was grateful nonetheless.

Alya had taken up learning how to feel auras as well, just to understand a little more what Nino was going through. She said it’d be helpful later when she becomes a proper journalist. Nino knew she’d catch on quickly. And quickly she had. It’d only been a couple of days and she was already able to get vague feelings on the situations around her. 

Alya nodded, considering Nino’s answer before her own face scrunched a little in thought, “Yeah, I… I feel this sort of… pain? Sorrow? But it also feels like, like it’s wrapped in a blanket.”

Nino smiled at his girlfriend. He wondered if perhaps it was possible for her to be better than Master Fu and perhaps even possibly connect with the Voice of Creation. It would be pretty cool not being the only one to see and hear and feel things that weren’t there.

<◉>

The evening was growing and Marinette had been debating if she really wanted to go through with this ever since she got back from school. 

She’d finished the small preparations, but now she needed to place the last puzzle piece in its rightful place. It was gonna be hard, Marinette knew it for sure.

She sighed in her desk chair again, spinning once more in a circle.

“Marinette~,” Tikki faux whined with a smile, hovering around Marinette’s head, “Come on, just go tell them, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”

“I know… I know but it feels wrong!” she threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “I’ve been trying to keep everything under wraps for so long that I… I-!” Her hands covered her eyes, “I’m just not sure I know how to.” She practically whispered. “Whenever I think about it, I keep getting anxiety. My stomach goes into knots and I start to tremble and I just don’t know what to do. I know that I want this, that I want to tell them this, but it won’t stop the feelings anyways.” 

Tikki pat Marinette’s cheek. “I’ll be here with you to help you if you need, so come on, let’s go tell them okay.”  
Marinette sighed and let her arms fall to her side before getting up. “Alright Tikki. Let’s go.”

Marinette almost stumbled down the stairs several times but was able to keep her feet under herself.

“Maman? Papa?” she called out from the door to the bakery. Tom and Sabine looked up from their work. It was a slow day. Not many people were coming around. She can say it. She has their attention.

She shuffled from side to side a little before dredging up the courage to ask, “Can- can I talk to you for a second?”

Sabine and Tom smiled, “Of course honey, what can we do for you?” Marinette looked around, double checking nobody was in listening range. 

“Um, I-” she wrestled with her nerves. Her parents waited for her patiently. “I… ivebeenlettingchatnoirstayhereand-” Tom cut her off, “Woah, woah, cupcake, slow down,” he chuckled, “We can’t hear what you’re saying.”  
Marinette’s face turned red from embarrassment as she took a breath in. She felt a nudge to her neck from her hair. Tikki pushing her on. She squared her shoulders. For heaven’s sake, this was her parents! She’s dealt with supervillains!   
“I’ve been letting Chat Noir stay with me for the past couple of days and decided I ought to ask you if he can stay over more.” She finished far more slower, but her confidence was already dimming as she watched her parents process the information.

Sabine already knew what her decision was going to be, so now she waited for her husband’s approval as he thought hard about what their daughter had just said. It had somehow quickly become normal to see her covered in ink like she was.

“Hmm, I trust you and your sense of judgement, cupcake, so I’ll ask you only one thing.” Marinette tensed. Does this mean her father was letting Chat stay? What was he going to ask? Hopefully not something with too confidential an answer.

“Is he staying here because he needs help?” Tom looked his daughter in the eyes and she had to fight the feeling to relax and slump to the floor in relief. “Yes.” Is all she said

Tom smiled, “Well then, we ought to help the best way we can.” Marinette smiled, grateful that they accepted the circumstances so easily.

Now she just needed to wait for Chat to come. 

He landed on her balcony far earlier than usual, at five thirty.

It had surprised her to say the least, but she was glad he was here. 

When he hopped into her room, Marinette held out a present.   
“Here, I wanted you to have this, so you can relax here.”   
Chat Noir had gently unwrapped the gift, careful to not tear the wrapping. It was as if the poor boy had never received a present before. When he opened the box and pulled out what had been folded inside, he gasped, tears springing to his eyes.

She really could offer _so much love._

In his hands was the softest black hoodie he’d ever known. The hoodie strings were a vibrant green, the inside of the hood was lined with a fabric of the same color, just as soft as the black. Attached to the hood were cat ears. A small green paw was embroidered onto the lower left corner of the pocket.

Chat Noir eagerly slid it on over his head and put his hands into the pocket, then noticed something in it. 

He pulled the item out and held it in front of himself. A mask that looked very much like his own, stared back at him. The meaning of it struck him hard. 

_“So you can relax here.”_ she’d said. 

He released his transformation, careful to keep Plagg from being seen as he shot out from the ring, tired of the continual and long transformations. After hiding Plagg in the pocket, he brought the mask to his face, noticing that it was a little sticky, just enough to keep it to his face without help from anything else.

It clung to his skin as smoothly as his real mask. 

He looked up to Marinette, tears coming to his eyes, making the sclera magically black, better to hide his identity, but the tears that poured forth were clear ones. She wanted him to stay, to spend more time with her. She was concerned for him, and she was offering a proper place for him to feel safe in. “Thank you, Princess.”

She smiled softly at him, “Come on, I want to introduce you to my parents. I am positively sure they’ll like you.” She tacked on that last part when Chat had looked reluctant. 

“It’s okay, I’ll be here with you.” She parroted Tikki’s words. It seemed it was good enough to calm him.

“Maman! Papa! I have someone I want you to meet!” 

Tom and Sabine walked up the stairs a bit. They couldn’t leave the bakery for too long no matter how slow everything was, but they knew what their daughter likely wanted, so they had come up.

“This is Chat Noir!” She proclaimed with excitement, he nodded nervously, “Chat Noir, this is Sabine and Tom, my parents!” Tom and Sabine smiled warmly. “It’s nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy your stay here.”

Chat felt so warm and comfy being treated so lovingly by an adult. It had been far too long. 

Tom put a finger to his chin as if thinking of something, then his eyes glittered, “How about we show you around the place? Then you two can make some brownies!” Marinette felt excited for that. 

Brownies were always so much fun to make. She loved making them as a child. 

Chat Noir seemed to tense a little, but nodded and was led off on a tour, Marinette by his side.

<◉>

Nino and Alya had been at Master Fu’s. Master Fu had concluded, like them, that the ink stains on Marinette were from the powers of the Miraculous. Fu thought it likely to be Adrien’s but that begged the question, when had they gotten in contact and why hadn’t they acted any different than normal after it?

They were just about to start talking about the next lesson when Nino felt something, the Voice of Creation itching at the back of his mind. He immediately stopped to listen, then he turned to Alya, who wore the same expression.

_“Marinette’s.”_ It had whispered, and somehow, Alya had heard it too. 

Master Fu didn’t ask where they were going, nor did they ask for permission, they just booked it, and Master Fu understood. 

When they entered the patisserie, there was no one in sight. The shop was empty but still open.

Nino could hear laughter and light hearted conversations, Alya could feel joy in the air. The now familiar rosemary-like flavor of Miraculous magic floating here and there. But there was something underneath that, scratching at the usual feeling of the Tom&Sabine Boulangerie. Unease stirred the air and dread was not far behind.

Alya and Nino hesitantly walked to its source, likely the kitchen. There was a crash of metal on the floor, a shout, and Alya and Nino were running.

When they got to the ovens, they found a not-Chat Chat holding his ungloved hands to his head as he hunched in on himself, Marinette approaching him with worry, while Tom stood by the ovens terrified. Brown batter was splattered across the floor, a pan and metal bowl spilled against the hard wood, the doors to the oven open, flames hungry from within. 

<◉>

Marinette had forgotten. 

Since Our Son, she’d worked on how she felt around fire so that she could work in the bakery again and she’d gotten better. She didn’t immediately think of the burning Chat anymore, but that meant she’d become complacent.

How had she forgotten?

The moment Chat neared the oven, she had felt oddly protective, oddly uneasy, but she had pushed the feeling away. Why had she done that? She never did that. And yet she had, because, it was just brownies after all.

Just brownies.

It was not just brownies.

Chat had been a bit skittish the entire tour, she’d chalked it up to being nervous around her parents. She was beating herself up for that now.

He had calmed a little during the methodic mixing and creating of batter, following hers and Tom’s instructions as they began to make brownies. 

But then they’d laid it out on the pan.

Then they’d opened the oven, and there had been fire. 

Marinette now understood the need to protect but now it was too late. 

Chat’s eyes were wide, his chest heaving faster and faster as his heart picked up in fear. The pan was dropped, the bowl knocked off the table, and Marinette was calling for her kitty.

What was she going to do now?!

What was she to do?!

“ _Ground him!_ ” a familiar voice called out. “Bring his focus back to you!” 

The words seemed to click in her head and make sense. She felt like she knew what to do even though she didn’t know at all was she was about to do. She’d follow her instincts this time though. So she neared Chat.

He was curling in on himself, falling apart, being consumed, and the absolute _terror_ on his face wanted to make her cry. 

“Hey,” she approached, her arms open and held up in a placating way, “Hey, it’s okay, I’m here.” She tried her best to keep the trembling out of her voice. 

She brought her arms up to wrap them around him, hesitating a second to let him know she was there, to not surprise him. Even though she did that, he still flinched when she hugged him close. 

Marinette looked into his eyes, bringing one of her hands to his cheek, she rubbed her thumb along the line of the mask she’d made. 

She got to her tip toes and pulled his head towards her. 

“Listen to my voice, okay?” She filled his vision.

He could feel himself burning, but her voice held his mind, he was barely able to keep himself from being consumed, and was only able to nod the slightest bit.

“Focus on me, focus on what you feel, can you tell me what you’re feeling?” 

She had her arm wrapped protectively around his waist, her hand was making soothing circles on his cheek, her hand was cool, smooth, and comforting. He mindlessly repeated what he thought, barely getting a whisper out past the soreness in his throat. He said that too.

He said he could feel the fire, but he focused more on Marinette. Her soothing voice that coaxed him to continue talking whenever he’d slip back into his head for too long.

Her body was lined against his, it was comforting how well she seemed to fit there, against him and in his arms. He felt as if he fit well in hers too. He didn’t mention that part.

But he focused on the soft feel of his new hoodie, and how the mask she made him followed his facial movements. Its stickiness was just a little annoying, but he couldn’t compare it to a mask made of magic. He noticed something about the hoodie. On the inside of the sleeves, something was there, soft, but bumpy in a way that brought notice to it. He ran his fingers along it and recognized the shape of a ladybug and cat. If he wasn’t so panicked, he would have been bursting with excitement on what she did for him.

Marinette was holding him closer and he leaned into her, resting his head against hers and closing his eyes, his breath calming. Her whole body seemed cooler than his.

She smelled sweet as always, like sugar, bread, and vanilla, this he was already familiar with, so he focused on trying to find what that floral smell was. Something red and familiar; a rose, then something purple and soothing; lavender, finally something that could be described many ways. It was sweet yet burnt like something spicy but also reminded him of an orange or lemon, something citrusy; a bouquet of peonies. Why was this smell so familiar? He couldn’t pinpoint it at the moment, she was still talking to him, still holding in her strong grasp.

_It’s okay, you’re safe, you’ll be alright, I’m here_. Her melodic voice whispered to him.

It was alright. The fire was right there, but it couldn’t reach him when he was in her arms. It was okay. 

<◉>

They hadn’t realized it was this bad. Yes they’d made the connection between the identities and that meant that they’d gone through Our Son, but Nino and Alya weren’t sure they fully realized what that entailed. Now they were here, watching Marinette soothe Chat, holding him close, whispering comfort and promising safety. 

Despite neither them nor Tom being able to hear what they said, what Marinette coaxed from him, her words brought back a light that had disappeared from the room and nestled about everyone, calming them.

Alya turned to Nino. “How did you know what to do?” She asked. 

“Ah, well,” he scratched at the back of is neck, “After Mania, I went to a few therapy sessions, and my therapist taught me this thing called grounding? It’s supposed to refocus on what’s around you and pull you away from negative emotions or flashbacks. It helped me a lot so I thought maybe it’d work for Adrien, though I never gave Marinette any instructions.” He said quietly with a small chuckle, “Must be Tikki’s power. Can you feel it?” Alya nodded.

“Yeah, it’s warm and comforting.”

They turned their attention back to Marinette and Adrien.

<◉>

Brownies were eventually remade with Nino and Alya who Marinette didn’t notice come in. It was surprising how chill they were with Chat Noir _right there,_ especially for Alya, but they must have come during Chat’s episode and didn’t want to push any boundaries.

The brownies came out a little burnt, but you could hardly tell and the four enjoyed the delectable treats as they watched a movie. 

Sabine made enough dinner for them all and Tom brought out more chairs so they could sit at the table. It was a little squishy, but comfortable, and with all the laughter that filled the air, Marinette wouldn’t have it any other way.

Nino and Alya eventually went home and Marinette and Chat up to bed. 

Marinette crawled into her stained bedding and held it open to him, the invitation already acknowledged.

Chat hesitated only a little this time before crawling in beside her.

They cuddled close, and as Marinette drifted off to sleep, she thought she heard Chat say something. 

_“Thank you, Marinette.”_

The way the name rolled off his tongue was familiar, the timbre well known. 

She couldn’t place it though, no, she wouldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our kids are finally getting a form of therapy! I actually had no clue about this grounding technique till I read this awesome bnha fanfic called [Apertum Mortem](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21750532/chapters/51892186) by [so_dont_let_in_the_light](https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_dont_let_in_the_light/pseuds/so_dont_let_in_the_light) and [TheNullDoctor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNullDoctor/pseuds/TheNullDoctor). Their story is awesome! Go check it out if you want!  
> Also, here's the website I referred to for [grounding techniques](https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques) if you want to have a look.  
> So, just in case any of you are confused, Weredad never happened!  
> I've been planning this hoodie thing since Relief's Genesis so I'm glad to finally have reached it!  
> Things are gonna get a bit rough from here, I hope you enjoy the ride!
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3  
> Comments, questions, speculation, and feedback are welcomed!


	16. Fall Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit of filler and rather short. Sorry guys. I was having some heavy writer's block with it.  
> Pretty sure this chapter's just a bunch of fluff.  
> Thank you to Serenagold and Katerany8910 for the inspiration for most of the stuff that happened in this chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy this snippet of a chapter!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

Monday. First day of Toussaint Break, and Marinette was waking up to find Chat getting ready to leave. 

She groaned at her inability to sleep with him longer. Why’d he have to leave so early anyway? 

Probably something to do with that trashy house of his. He hadn’t talked much about it since that first night he came to her in shadow tears, but he’d mention something or be caught off guard by something he shouldn’t have and it sent red flags up everywhere. She was starting to believe that maybe her precious _Chaton_ was being abused. 

He didn’t understand sometimes why Marinette or her family were so caring. One time he’d broken down in clear tears after seeing that everyone was going to sit and eat with him. He had thought with Sabine and Tom being busy, they wouldn’t have joined them at the dinner table. He’d mumbled something about making an appointment.

Marinette was pretty sure everything was his father’s doing. She didn’t really know the man and yet she already hated him. When she finds out who he is… ooh someone’s getting a beating. Expectations of a hero or not. 

Chat deserved to be loved, and it was hateful how he had not been.

He shuffled as he slipped from her grasp and pulled his mask off. He always left it here before going back, but he kept a hold on the hoodie. Marinette made sure to keep her eyes closed when he did this. 

“Good morning Princess,” his voice was smooth and only deepened a little by sleep. She found she loved the sound of it when he said that nickname, as much as she did when he called her his Lady. 

He kissed her forehead. Ever since the first time he’d done so, it now felt awkward not to, so they continued it, a morning ritual. Neither of them talked about it or its implications. 

“I’ll be back later.”

She sighed, sad that he had to leave, but it must be for an important reason, so she never kept him.

<◉>

Marinette started making more things for Chat. Things like sweatpants, tanks, t-shirts, shorts, to reduce the risk of learning what type of places he frequents. It was also to make him happy. He liked her designs, and had mentioned how it was the first he was able to wear what he wanted, which meant he wasn’t even allowed that… and that pissed her off.

What kind of bull crap is this father of his? 

So she was set in making him a wardrobe.

When he came back that night, she’d already finished a few pairs of pants, ignoring that knowing his measurements could lead her to him.

He carried an inconspicuous bag with him and looked a little sheepish. “Um,” He brought his clawed hand to his neck, “Would it be alright to keep some of my shower stuff here? I uh… don’t really… feel safe there.” He didn’t mention how the large shower reminded him of his episodes, being enough to send him into another one. When he got in to take a normal shower, he’d blink and find himself in a stream of ice cold water that left him almost feeling like small needles were stabbing his stiff limbs at that point. 

Marinette paled, why would he feel unsafe in the shower?

Things were worse than she thought.

Obviously she said yes. 

That’s how Sabine and Tom wouldn’t even bat an eye when they saw the boy stumble into the bathroom for a shower at the beginning or end of a day. It was especially a common occurrence after a particularly messy akuma battle. 

Alya and Nino started coming over in the evenings, learning that’s when Chat was most likely to visit. They had an idea on why he never stayed for the day.

Marinette was grateful that Alya never said anything about it on the blog. In fact, Alya had stopped theorizing on the heroes’ identities and Marinette wondered if maybe that was because she had an idea as to what was happening in Chat’s life. She still had a place for people to theorize if they wanted to, but she didn’t offer any herself anymore.

Alya and Nino would hang out for game nights and movie nights and sometimes they’d stay for dinner.

It surprised them one evening when after a round of BS, Chat looked at the time, got up, and said he was going to go take a shower.

Marinette and her parents dismissed it as normal, but then Marinette saw her friends’ expressions. “Why are y- _ohh_ , _riiight_ , I forgot that that’s not supposed to be normal.” 

Alya got a glint in her eyes and her reporter smile, “You _forgot_?” 

_Oh shoot._

Marinette was subjected to some teasing and questions but was saved when Chat got out of the shower in pjs she’d made and the hoodie, then attacked again by Alya the next day when Chat was gone. She dreaded what would happen should Alya find out about their… sleeping arrangement. 

<◉>

Halfway through the week, Alya and Nino requested a fox and turtle hoodie, obviously a little jealous of Chat’s. 

She wanted to, but she was worried about revealing identities, though she wasn’t supposed to know who they were. In the end there was no reason not to make them hoodies, so she’d reluctantly accepted.

She tried not to make them too much of a reminder of the heroes to keep them from being outed by the things.

Alya’s was a white cut hoodie that ended in an inverted v just above her stomach with splotching oranges and yellows at the end in an alcohol ink style. The sleeves were large and black, only held to the main body by orange ribbons. The strings were swirling orange and white with small tassels and soundless little bells at the end. Large pointed ears sat on the actual hood. In the back, a soft orange, white, and black tail was attached. All in all, it was reminiscent of her alter ego and a kitsune. 

Nino’s was an olive green skate hoodie, the neck of the hood coming up like his costume. There were rectangle reflectors on his shoulder and a band of them near the elbow and wrists. On the back was a hawaiian patterned turtle made of intricate deep green embroidery. The pocket could be zipped and there was hidden inner cord loops to lace Nino’s earbuds through. 

They were also both really soft. 

It’d taken quite some effort, but without school, it took less time than expected. Both Alya and Nino were grateful. It was almost impossible to get them to take them off, even if they were hot. One time, when Marinette said Alya’s hoodie needed a wash, fear danced in her eyes. Marinette wondered at what was wrong when finally Alya spoke, “You-you won’t ruin my precious tail will you?” 

She blanched at that.

Marinette had thought it would be a fun detail to add but she hadn’t expected Alya to love it so much. 

<◉>

“Marinette!” her mother called, “Alya and Nino are here!” 

Marinette sleepily rubbed her eyes. Those two were always together these days. Marinette wondered when they took a break from each other. She stilled, realizing that was quite hypocritical actually. 

“I’m sending them up!” 

Marinette snuggled back into the covers and the warmth that held her, that was fine, Alya had come up to wake her before and Nino was basically Marinette’s brother. She didn’t think she had anything to be worried about, so she nuzzled closer to the wonderful heartbeat of someone alive, someone she cared for. 

Her eyes snapped open. 

Wait.

They don’t know. 

Chat’s here and they don’t _know_. 

Marinette sat bolt upright and was about to start trying to wake up Chat because for some dumb reason he hadn’t woken up before her yet and now that she thought about it he probably should be going soon- but then she saw how he drew closer to her. 

She saw the small, new, black stains on her pillow. He’d been crying in his sleep.

He’d been more tired as of late, almost as if he was being worn down, and he needed the rest. She hoped he didn’t need to be anywhere soon.

Marinette settled back into the bed, pulling closer to him, holding him tight. It wasn’t like she could have hidden this for much longer anyways. Might as well spill now.

Alya and Nino had to try really hard not to smile when they saw Marinette fast asleep against a big black cat. _That’s_ why they’ve been in a better mood. 

Marinette had been right to worry about what would happen after Alya found out about their sleeping habits. 

<◉>

About a week into break, Nino and Alya got permission to stay over at the Dupain-Chengs for the night. Having found out Adrien practically lives with Marinette and knowing that Sabine and Tom see it almost like having another kid around ( _they too joined the betting of when the wedding would be_ ), they wanted to sleep over too.

They were sitting in the family room getting ready to watch a movie when Marinette had realized they didn’t have any popcorn and got up to make it, forgetting to close the sketchbook she’d been drawing in just before.

Chat leaned over to see what was drawn and saw a beautiful landscape. On the side were drawings of an open lotus and closed ones. There were observations on the crystals and guesses of what they might be. There was also a small drawing of a young man. He was shirtless, with puffy pants tied with a rope about the waist, and an anklet. The young man’s head had been drawn over and over to the point that it was now just a blur of graphite that could no longer be deciphered. Floating about his head head was a ring. 

Beside that was the beginnings of a female drawing with wings.

Adrien scowled.

There was… there was something about the drawing. 

Something familiar. It tugged at his heart, making his lungs tighten but it wasn’t the same as when he felt like he was burning. Rather, it felt like… nostalgia. Yes, nostalgia. Something fond. Perhaps longing too. 

Why?

Marinette arrived with several small bowls of popcorn, each one made how they personally like it.

She noticed the direction of Chat’s gaze and blushed, quickly closing the sketch book. “Oh, uh, that, it was a- uh, it was from a dream.” Marinette finally stammered out, staring at the floor.

Chat’s eyes sparkled with the remnant emotions he’d felt, “It was very beautiful.” 

Marinette nervously thanked him before starting the movie.

Chat was the first to fall asleep. It’d been a rough day for him with lots of remedial photoshoots and lessons. It had been exhausting and now he was here, safe, and next to someone who really, truly cared for him.

Marinette was second, being cozy and cuddled next to Chat. 

Alya soon succumbed too, and her head fell onto Marinette’s shoulder. Nino smiled softly before tugging his girlfriend onto his shoulder as Marinette already had Adrien leaning on her. 

Nino tried to stay awake. Usually that wasn’t too hard. It wasn’t even that late yet despite all of them being ready for bed with Alya and Nino also in their hoodies. 

But sleep snuck up on him and _pulled_. 

He rubbed his eyes, hoping for the exhaustion to go away. He still had to finish the movie. He could do that at least. Then he’d go to sleep.

 _Shh, sleep my child._ a sweet voice whispered.

It’s pitch and tone was impossible to ignore and in the end, he couldn’t fight the voice he’d known since childhood, and so it lulled him into slumber.

It whispered one last thing before darkness consumed him. 

_Sweet dreams._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be another dream chapter! Hopefully I'll be able to get that done well.  
> Thank you all for the support for Sun and Moon and thank you for reading this chapter even though it was rather short!  
> Comments, questions, speculation, and feedback in general are loved!  
> Have a good weekend! <3


	17. Precognition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support on the last dream chapter!  
> You know how I simply said "dream" chapter? Yeah, that's cause I have no clue if this is fully a dream or also a bit nightmare.  
> This chapter is more or less foreshadowing I suppose. It is thanks to Katerany8910 that this chapter was made!  
> I hope you all had a good weekend!  
> And I also hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

Nino opened his eyes.

Oh, he must have been daydreaming. That wasn’t smart, not with his job as Guardian. 

He focused back on what he was doing, standing on the edge of the temple at the top of a grand mountain.

Clouds rolled lazily through the sky below him. Pink petals eternally spun through the wind, the sky held its normal pale blue hue, pink at the very edges, and- oh good, his great barrier still stood strong before him. It encircled the sacred temple, a large petal pink dome. Thankfully he had not dropped his jade staff and shield while he was in his mind somewhere, that was what helped him hold the barrier up. He could never drop it, not when their adversary sat atop his own mountain not too far across from them.

They were the only things visible above the sea of clouds aside from the iridescent crystals that jut up from it every now and then. Across from their sacred mountain was a prison of death.

Unlike their luscious mountain, a grey craggy monstrosity stabbed through the sea of clouds and threatened to pierce the sky.

It had once been beautiful, just like theirs, however, now it was practically lifeless, the muddy mirror of them, the only color being the plumes of yellow chrysanthemums that choked the opposite temple. They covered every surface like vines and bloomed from every creak and crevice, threatening both them and the inhabitants of the opposite temple, the butterfly temple.

He could never let his guard down, he must protect  _ her  _ and the goddess. Nothing else mattered aside from their safety. If the goddess were harmed, the world would end.

<◉>

Alya stirred, pulling herself up from her place at a side table. 

She looked to the open ceiling and, oh, it was dark already. When had the night come? The stars twinkled down at her.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and straightened out her orange hakama, her open white kosode, and made double sure that her sarashi was wrapped properly before looking about the room.

Oh good, she lit the lanterns before she fell asleep.

Her eyes landed on her lady and mistress, the goddess. She sighed, scratching the back of her head.

It seemed that the goddess would not wake today as well, for she was still asleep on her side, her head on her arms, her long midnight hair flowing from around her, her fragile yet strong wings still, wrapped loosely in the white sheets of her large canopy bed.

Alya stretched, her ears perking up and her tail swishing behind her, she should go around the temple again, making sure everything is clean, maybe take a bath in the hot springs, then make herself and Nino some food. 

Her tail swayed behind her in excitement, oh she couldn’t wait to see Nino again, he always had to stand guard in front of the temple.

She missed the days when they didn’t need the barrier, when they could be together, but she supposed she could wait for now, his job was important.

Her mind’s eye flickered to his tan and toned chest, the white puffed pants that went mid shin and turned into sandals that wrapped about his ankles, the large braided green rope that hugged his waist, hmm, maybe the bath could wait. Alya licked her lips and skipped off to the front of the temple.

<◉>

Adrien’s vision cleared but there was still darkness.

He sighed realizing he was still on the tatami mat ground of his room before jolting from the pain the action brought. 

He groaned as he looked down at his chest. Bruises of origin he did not remember danced along in purple splotches across his stomach and chest. That would explain why it felt hard to breath. He coughed and  _ boy  _ did  _ that  _ hurt. Hot blood tore and stung his throat, coating his mouth before it flecked the floor beside him, gracing the tatami in black. 

He shivered and pulled in on himself, careful of his claws, wishing that he had something more than just his pants. 

It was cold here, always cold, and everything was grey and colorless, like him, the only dash of something  _ not _ grey was either purple or yellow, and he didn’t much like either of those.

The yellow chrysanthemums would just stare and stare and stare at him from every and any point in this damned temple.

His eyes slid shut again, he didn’t want to see. He could just use his excellent hearing, his black ears pricking to catch all sound, that way he could feel like he wasn’t simply here, but everywhere and nowhere, a place where his father couldn’t touch and taint before abandoning him. 

That’s what he did after all. He hired someone to care for him, but he only touched her and the kind blue gaze and streak of red faded, the woman now his slave with glowing purple eyes, purple eyes that watched and stared and did nothing else. Always there but nothing more. 

After the woman was in his control, he left him, and hid away deep into the temple where nothing came back. He couldn’t hear anything beyond those walls. 

The woman hadn’t come around for quite some time, he wondered if she’d died, after all, she was not immortal like him or his father. 

There was the sound of a door sliding open, ah, so not dead. He supposed that he ought to be grateful, but that only meant she continued to live without breathing, trapped in her own body or perhaps nonexistent now. 

He refused to open his eyes. Refused to move.

She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him out of the room when he did not respond to her monotonous voice void of any feeling. He tried not to whimper or cry out, if he made any such sound, it’d be a sign of weakness, and they couldn’t have weakness, now could they?

He was dropped in a familiar open room.

So it was training today.

He needed to be the perfect and strong son, unflinching to any pain or misery, that couldn’t be done without practice could it?

<◉>

The only time Nino could rest was when Alya was near. Her powers of illusion were enough to scare or turn anything away even without his barrier, but only for a short time.

He loved it when she came to see him.

“Nino!” she called with joy and oh there was food!

After enjoying their small meal on the first steps of the temple before the platform that used to hold more but now simply cut off, Alya rested her head against Nino’s shoulder. 

“So she didn’t wake again today?” he asked.

She nodded against his bare skin.

“Do you think she’ll ever wake up?” she asked. “It’s been so long.”   
It had. It’d been millenia since they last saw her walk the halls. When she had fallen asleep, she’d said that her kitten, her sun, was in danger, and she would try to contact him. Soon after, their sister temple lost color, swallowed by darkness, and chrysanthemums took over. They had worried that something had happened to its residents, but their worry was unwarranted for soon, a large butterfly of pure black had tried to attack and destroy their temple. Alya and Nino had fought well and destroyed it.

There were a few more attempts, but they all stopped when Nino erected the barrier.

They didn’t know what else to do really, aside from wait for their goddess to awake and tell them how to win, how to end this all.

“Of course she’ll wake up,” he told his beloved, “She promised after all.”

The sky lightened, turned purple and pink, the midnight like their goddess’s hair fading to welcome the pale blue of day.

Alya nodded again, “Yeah, she promised.” she repeated.

“She promised.”

<◉>

Marinette had promised her friends she’d come back, because she would, but first she had to save her beloved. For quite some time, she had begun to feel a pain tug on her heart, sadness spilled from her eyes constantly. Her beloved was hurting and in pain, but she couldn’t leave her temple, couldn’t go find him. Her temple needed her in it. So she would visit him in a dream, just as she always had.

But things were dark. 

There was no light and she could not feel his presence. Where oh where had he gone? He didn’t disappear, this she knew, because she could still feel the eviscerating pain that tore at her heart, the great sadness that seemed to swallow her, the regret that stung her skin. He was still there, she could feel it. 

They had never truly met, even in their dreams they could not see one another’s faces, like they had been blacked out with ink and shadow, but they had an undeniable connection, and she knew that so long as she waited here, they would find each other, and this time, they’d be able to see their faces. 

<◉>

Adrien wanted to cry. Really he did, but he couldn’t, he’d get in trouble again, and he didn’t want to face the monsters in the training room if he didn’t have to.

He choked back a sob, all those people, so many people with purple eyes and ashen skin. So many. They hurt him and he never fought back, because that would be doing what his father wanted. 

He brought his clawed hand to his heart, at least, that’s where it had once resided. Now it was merely a gaping hole of blackness. His father had taken it from him, something about a wish or whatever, and had threatened to take  _ her  _ heart too. He didn’t know where she was, but he thought it might be the other temple. Either way he was glad they had erected that barrier. Even if  _ she  _ wasn’t there, his father would have destroyed the residents and their temple.

Adrien was promised that so long as he got stronger, he would get his heart back, but he wasn’t sure he wanted that, because that meant standing by his father’s side and he knew that he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t kill or hurt, even though he had the power to, he would never do such a thing. If he did, he really would be a monster. 

So he braved the insults.    
_ Disappointment. _

_ Waste of time. _

He curled in on himself, ignoring the pain to his body, for it was nothing new nor worse than the emptiness of his heart, his tail wrapping around him and his ears flattening to his head. He squeezed his once green eyes closed.

He hated this room. 

It was large but terribly terribly empty. It mocked him, gave him a false sense of freedom, because despite its size and besides the tatami, it was made of cold, hard, iron, like those terrible bars, the prison he was locked in for only a few days, but prison nonetheless and even now he was still locked away.

He wished he could escape. 

He wished it would all go away. 

<◉>

Something was different today, Adrien noticed as he trailed behind the woman who used to have the kindest eyes. Blue lights filled the halls. Familiar little fires. He was sure he’d seen them before, but he couldn’t remember.

Adrien cringed when he saw the training room again. Why were they doing this again so soon? There were other things to do. Training day wasn’t for another couple days.

But they walked past the training room, they walked further and further in, light fading until the only thing that lit the way was the woman’s purple eyes, the yellow chrysanthemums, and the blue fires.

Eventually they came upon a door. Like all others in this temple, it was large and grand.

The woman pushed it open with ease and before Adrien was a throne. The room felt lacking, like there was something missing, and after a moment, a flash of color and light taking over his mind’s eye, he realized it was a  _ second  _ throne, but he couldn’t remember why, it had been too long and he had suffered too much to remember anything from before the grey. 

The woman brought him to the throne and stepped away.

Adrien was not ready for this. Not at all.

He fell to his knees.

Before him was his father, only creaking grey bones and black black eye sockets that seemed to still stare him down with disgust and disappointment. Blossoms of yellow bloomed from within the rib cage and out his mouth as if he'd choked on them and had tried to cough them out. His heart sat in those skeleton hands, its beating a steady rhythm. 

Sure he may not like his father, but he certainly didn’t want him  _ dead. _

What had happened here? Where was the purple that continued to haunt him? 

The chrysanthemums shifted and moved, slithering forward, and the blue fires flickered.

A figure stepped away from behind the throne and all Adrien could see was gold gold gold. 

It was gold and yellow and maybe green. 

It smiled and reached for him.

Blue, he was going to be blue if she touched him. Him  _ or  _ his heart, it didn’t matter which. 

He grabbed his heart and turned to run, but her hand touched his shoulder and he could feel something rush out of him, hear a piercing sound, but it was all clouded over by the burning he felt on his shoulder.

He had to get away. He had to get help. He didn’t know where to go or what would help a  _ monster like him _ but that didn’t matter, he just had to  _ g e t a w a y. _

<◉>

A scream pierced the air, unnatural and inhuman, and Nino’s eyes snapped to the temple across from him.

The chrysanthemums were moving. 

Nino was about to call for Alya just in case they needed to fight when a pillar of black struck the sky.

Light spilled from it, illuminating the world despite the origin’s darkness.

The horizon turned purple and deep blue and maroon, the iridescent crystals shuttered and climbed the sky, glowing in pale rainbows against the changing colors. Pink petals from the trees around the temple circled the darkness, the clouds grasping at the opposite mountain as if they could somehow reach the dark temple.

Something terrible was happening, something heaven shaking.

<◉>

A scream ripped the air and startled Alya enough to drop a vase, breaking it. She would have pouted because she just finished polishing that for the 189,237,848 time if it hadn’t been a  _ scream  _ that made her drop it.

The air pressure changed and Alya looked to the sky. It wasn’t the peaceful blue that it should have been.

Panic squeezed at Alya’s heart and she ran for their goddess’s room.

If she had had another vase in hand when she arrived, she would’ve dropped it too.

<◉>

There was a change in the darkness around Marinette. 

She had sat there for a long time, simply waiting. 

It had been dark and cool but not uncomfortable, but now, now it was  _ warm  _ and the air thrummed with life. 

Her eyes sparkled in delight.

It was time. He’d come soon.

Soon she could see him once again. 

A sting of pain stabbed at her shoulder, dull and aching. Not hers then. It must be her beloved’s pain.

He needed help.

Her mind screamed with the plea, anyone, anything, please please help.

She was almost overcome by it, but she stilled, and listened, and promised, promised she would help, and the plea fell to a soft but insistent whisper in her ear.

She took a great breath, grabbed hold of the warmth around her, the pain on her shoulder, the sound in the air, and she held it close and pushed  _ forward _ .

Her eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the world around her. A familiar world. Her home.

Before she’d even realized, she was sitting up.

She heard a gasp and turned to it, a smile tugging at her lips when she saw the relief in Alya, her friend’s eyes. 

Alya ran forward and Marinette readily opened her arms. 

“I missed you!” she cried, “We didn’t know when you’d wake up and I missed you so  _ so  _ much!”   
“I missed you too.” She replied into her friend’s fiery hair.

Marinette held Alya for a moment longer before pulling apart. “Now,” she began with a smile, moving a stray strand of hair out of the fox’s eyes, “Tell me, what’s going on?” 

Alya wiped at her tears, sniffled a little, and answered, “I-I’m not quite sure, but, but it must have something to do with our sister temple.”

Marinette nodded, “Alright then, we must go deal with it, must we not?”

Alya nodded and jumped up to tell Nino.

Marinette slid out of bed, her wings stretching behind her. The feeling of panic and pain tugged at her mind, pulling her to their sister temple. She must work quickly, he hadn’t much time left.

Small lights like fireflies danced about Marinette’s form. 

She breathed in, deep and long, and she held for a few moments, focusing on the sound of life around her, the way the air moved and magic thrummed, the petals that floated to her. Small bells echoed through her ears, and Marinette could feel the very threads of the earth beneath her fingertips. 

She reached out her hand, and tugged ever so lightly on a few and whispered, “Hear what I hear.”

Power exploded in warm light around her and she glowed with it. It ran forth to relay her message and everyone could hear it, the strings of creation being strummed.

They pulled together, and bloomed from Marinette, reaching and reaching and finally finding, in the depths of darkness, her beloved.

<◉>

It was cold and dark, but it always was, that was nothing new, what  _ was  _ new though, was the fire on his shoulder as he ran, eating away at him, and he feared he’d never be able to see  _ her _ .

His lungs screamed for air that simply couldn’t get in fast enough and he wasn’t sure his legs were there anymore. He couldn’t feel them. He was a bit glad because before they’d disappeared, he could only feel pain stab him with every step.

_ Please, help _ . He whispered,  _ Anyone, please. Please. _

Even as he tumbled through the winding halls of the great temple, surely getting lost, and darkness spilled from his open chest, he continued, because in his heart, the one he now had back, he could feel that something was coming. Something would be here to save him.

The world tilted and he heard  _ something _ , something aside from him and gold. It rang again and Adrien could hear a bell, soft and sweet. Images of pink petals flashed into his eye, warmth hugged his frozen body, and his heart became louder, drowning out the echoes of his scream.

He ran for it. Ran for the sound. And soon, he was standing outside the doors to the temple he had always lived in but had never become home.

A gentle pillar of light illuminated the sky across from him, and he somehow  _ knew  _ it must be her, the one he’d known from the beginning but never truly met. 

He laughed to himself, she had been  _ right there _ the entire time, just as he had thought. 

A crash came from behind him, and he turned just in time to watch as the entire temple fell in on itself. 

Gold emerged from it, and Adrien watched in horror, frozen where he stood, as it reached forward, and touched his heart. 

A split second after, a green sphere that shimmered pink surrounded him, but by then it was too late.

<◉>

So close, Nino had been  _ so close .  _

He didn’t want to be the one to bring his small orb of protection back to her, but by the sounds of it, she already knew what happened.

Nino walked to the center of the temple, the goddess’s wailing clearly reaching his ears.

“Gone! He’s gone!” she cried.

Alya stood by her side, comforting her, but she was inconsolable, her wings drooping to the floor, her face hidden in her hands, for she knew that it hurt them to see her cry.

Silently, he offered his protective sphere that held a small blue flame.

She looked to the orb, then up at him, and he nodded, letting her know that it really was him. He couldn’t tell her how wretched he had looked before he’d become the fire. Couldn’t tell her of the burn on his shoulder, the bruises that painted his skin, his white hair and grey eyes, or the gaping hole in his chest. She was hurting so much already.

Her tears continued to spill as she hugged the orb close, they would fall from her face before becoming starlight and drifting up to dance in the sky.

They watched silently, unable to do anything, as Creation came undone.

Cracks spread beneath her bare feet, and then they shot forward to the front of the temple.

The walls moved away like curtains as Creation glared at them, and then they could see the remnants of their sister temple and a great yellow chrysanthemum. 

Her power continued forward, and when it struck the gold that hurt her beloved, it burst into small lights, similar to the ones that continued to float about her. 

Creation turned away, the walls sliding shut. 

She continued to hold the small fire close.

Nino doubted that it would disappear or return to the sister temple now that their adversaries were gone, so he released the small barrier that protected it.

The blue flame simply floated there, giving no warmth, nothing but its light.

Creation cried harder and hugged it closer.

Gone, he was gone.

A thought came to mind, one thing. She could try one last thing.

Her tears slowed and she looked at the blue flame.

This had to work.

She leaned forward, and kissed it.

In that moment, Alya and Nino watched as the world darkened, and then became bright again, far more vivid than before, and there, before them, Creation held Destruction in her arms. His skin was clear of any marring and his hair a golden hue like sunlight, his chest whole.

He held her head in his hands.

When Marinette separated from Adrien, a smile broke out on her face and he smiled back at her. He was here. This was him. They were finally together.

She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything, a hole tore through the ground. Light and everything around them spilled into it, surely they all would too. 

Marinette sighed, they had just found each other and now they had to separate. It was fine though. Annoying but fine, because surely they’d find each other again.

“Thank you.” Adrien whispered, and they all silently said goodbye to this world, the darkness clawing at them for attention.

_ It’s time to wake up _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone see the similarities with the last dream chapter???  
> The crystals, by the way, are solely meant to connect that this is just a dream.  
> Now who can guess what the chrysanthemums are and what this all means?  
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you have a wonderful week! <3
> 
> Any comments, question, speculation, and feedback is welcome!
> 
> I _swear_ we'll finally be getting back into the angst next chapter.


	18. Oct. 27, XXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is very much based off of the calendar this year, but the XXXX makes it more ominous so…  
> This one’s a bit longer so yay! It’s 5K or so.  
> There will be manipulation in this chapter, so if manipulative parents triggers you, please read carefully. If anyone thinks I need to put up a proper warning in the middle of the chapter with a summary at the end, _please_ tell me and I will gladly add that.  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> [Edited 25/11/20]

Two days, it’s been two days since the… the dream sequence(?) happened and it was only now that Nino and Alya could get a hold of Master Fu and ask what it meant. They had left the Dupain-Chengs Sunday morning since their parents had both decided to do  _ something _ for their fall break and Nino and Alya couldn’t get away long enough to get to Fu’s. 

Now they were there to ask about what it all meant. From what they’d seen after waking up sore on the couch at the ungodly hour of five in the morning on a freaking weekend was that Adrien barely remembered the scenery and a girl with wings similar to Marinette’s drawings and thought that it was just because he’d seen the sketchbook the night before that such things had appeared in his dreams. Marinette had looked frightened that they had shared the dream even though Adrien couldn’t remember much and Nino and Alya didn’t mention what they remembered, in fact they didn’t mention they had a dream at all, because they weren’t sure what would happen when Marinette had that knowledge and if it would be good for keeping secrets.

Nino remembered all of it clearly, as if it had all actually happened and Alya remembered most of it, not as much as Marinette, but enough to put the rest together when Nino gave her a rundown of what she missed. 

They had a lot of questions seeing how there was so much symbolism to their alter egos and it left Nino wondering what blue flames, yellow chrysanthemums, and the butterfly temple meant. What did it mean for them? What did it mean for Adrien?

So here they were, in their mentor’s apartment, drinking tea.

Nino explained the shared dream plane and what happened and with each passing second, Master Fu’s eyes darkened. In the end, he sighed and the shadow over his face was hidden behind a soft and tired smile.

“It seems you’ve got your work cut out for you.” Nino wanted to ask what he meant but before he could say anything, Fu continued.

“What you have experienced is Precognition, something that Tikki is able to cause in humans though she tends to be unable to see the visions herself. It often happens before a great upheaval in the world around her and her charge as well as anyone else who happens to be dragged into the dream plane.”

Fu stands to grab the gramophone off its place on his dresser and brings it back to the table and Nino can feel the air shift again in that familiar way it had almost a month ago now. So much had happened since then. So much had happened right before then too. 

Alya shifted under the weight of the voices that picked up in chorus when the Miracle Box was pulled out, cheering. 

New Guardian! The new Guardian!

Dread filled a pit in Nino’s stomach.    
Nino felt the distinct crumbling of an era.

He couldn’t be… right? There’s no way. It’s too early. He’s not ready.

“I cannot decipher the hidden meanings of this vision, but I can understand one thing, and I will act upon this foreknowledge to bring about a brighter future.” Fu smiled wistfully as he gazed at the Miracle Box, eyes reflecting centuries worth of memories. 

“It seems that in this future that’s been foretold, I will not be in it seeing how  _ you _ , my boy, are the one carrying title of Guardian.”   
The pit fell through and Nino was left floundering. 

Master Fu pushed the Miracle Box to Nino, taking his bracelet off after sharing a meaningful glance with his Kwami. They nodded to each other and Wayzz bowed, “It’s been a pleasure, Master.” Fu nodded with a smile, “Indeed it has.” Then the Kwami disappeared in a ball of light and the bracelet was placed on top of the Miracle Box.

Panic and worry clogged Nino’s throat but he pushed past it, voicing his thoughts, “But, I’m not ready. There’s no reason to relinquish the Miracle Box yet.” Nino knew full well what happened when one did that, and Nino wasn’t ready to lose his mentor like that. Alya looked from Nino to Fu with a curious look, she wasn’t there when he’d been taught that, and it was something Nino didn’t much like thinking about.

“Would you ever be ready?” Master Fu simply smiled sadly, remembering how  _ he  _ had taken on the job.

Nino could not find it in him to deny it. He knew that no one was ever truly ready for anything and that you could only take a leap of faith and do your best with what you have.

He was lucky it was being given to him in such a controlled environment and  _ not  _ in the midst of a crisis.

His head lowered in defeat, knowing he could not sway Master Fu’s choice. Tears built within his eyes. The man before him would soon be different, not quite gone, but not the man he had come to know. 

Master Fu placed a hand on Nino’s, making him look up, just a little, “It’ll be alright Nino.”

There was still that soft smile that made him want to cry. If he opened his mouth now, only a choked sob would be able to escape, so he kept his mouth pressed closed and nodded.

He was thankful that his mentor didn’t specify one thing, that everything would be alright.

“I, Wang Fu,” he began, and he and the box glowed. It was a gentle light, like the one he’d seen in the dream of two nights ago, “hereby relinquish the Miracle Box,” he was still smiling and Nino wanted to look away, he didn’t want to see when those eyes that looked at him like a grandson went cold with unfamiliarity, but he couldn’t turn away, “naming Nino,” he paused, and looked over to Alya with that same, steady smile, “and Alya Lahiffe,” that startled both Alya and Nino, as they hadn’t believed that could be done, that there could be two Guardians, and yet this old man continued to smile in that knowing way he always did, leaving him one, last, precious gift known as shared burden, “as the new Guardians.” 

The light burst in a series of small sparks that fell down like snow, collecting on both Alya and Nino, sinking into their skin and bringing warmth that made them feel as if they’ve lived their entire life frozen, before the shape of the box transformed, becoming an Atlantic 80 Disk Storage Manager, something Nino had debated on getting for a long time wondering if he really needed it or not. It had just looked cool and like an efficient way to keep all his cds organized. 

It was black, like in the the picture of it online, but the grey sides were red, the backdrop to a familiar symbol that was now in black unlike how it had been before on top of the previous Miracle Box. On the inside, Nino was sure that all the Miraculous now sat on their own, individual disks. 

It all seemed to have happened so slow, but it must have only been moments. 

All thoughts and questions on the way Master Fu said the relinquishing phrase flew from his mind when Wang Fu opened his eyes and looked at Nino in confusion. 

“I apologize, I must have spaced off, but who are you again?” Then confusion turned to concern when the young boy before him began to cry.

“A-ah, we- we came by for our last Ch-Chinese lesson.” Nino lied easily. He’d begun to get better at it, terribly enough. Alya helped. They’d both been calling these lessons that. Chinese lessons.

The old man stood to comfort the young man, “I apologize for having forgotten,” he laughed and though it should have been the same, it felt unbelievably hollow, as if missing something incredibly important, “I suppose that’s what happens when you grow as old as me.”

Nino could only nod, Alya holding tight to his hand as she tried not to cry.

<◉>

It had gotten harder being in the house the past week. Adrien tried not to stay in it too long. The shadows would begin to bite at him if he did, the cold scalding and the emptiness heart crushing.

He didn’t see his father often already, but he had begun to avoid Nathalie too and that had only ramped up in the past two days even though he couldn’t quite remember why it was so unnerving to be around her.

Sometimes, when he saw her, he saw a grey woman with eyes the color of lilacs, not a hint of life. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t particularly care to understand. 

He stayed at Marinette’s as long and often as possible but made sure to be back for his daily chores of photoshoots, piano lessons, chinese, everything. He’d gotten a lot better at memorizing his schedule and no longer needing Nathalie to tell him. 

With the chasm of difference between his house and what was quickly becoming home though, he found himself getting later and later for each appointment and cutting things closer and closer, sometimes running away if he had to, because he couldn’t handle doing these things anymore.

He couldn’t stand feeling like he was useless, feeling like a disappointment no matter how much his photographer and Nathalie praised him because it never sounded anything like Marinette’s and Nino’s and Alya’s reactions whenever he succeeded at anything like finally winning a game or successfully baking something or getting anywhere close to fire without breaking down.

He started disappearing at dinner and breakfast too, wanting Sabine’s food and Tom’s bread and their hugs. He no longer waited for his father and he stopped caring if Nathalie found him gone, but he should have cared, he should have waited, then maybe he could have avoided this. 

Adrien skipped up the steps to the mansion. Today he’d ran away while still outside so he couldn’t just jump into his window and he was still holding onto the dregs of happiness from being with the Dupain-Chengs. He was only coming back to make sure that Nathalie saw him at the dinner table before running off again. Maybe Marinette would be back by that time, she had gone out to the other side of the city for a delivery right before he’d left. 

He basked in the warm glow of the sunset before walking back into the frigid white mansion and then opened the doors with barely a sound having found a way to open the heavy doors silently.

He had expected to feel cold when he stepped inside, but he hadn’t expected to freeze.

There, up on his favorite spot at the top of the stairs, was Gabriel, Gabriel Agreste, his father solely in legality and biology. 

He was glaring down at him as if from atop a throne on high, their black family portrait a dramatic back drop, and Nathalie at the foot of the base stairs, holding her tablet close, and pushing her glasses up before unfeeling eyes. She stared at him as if he were not there.

Gabriel’s lip twitched. 

“Have fun outside did you?” 

Adrien was now suddenly very afraid, feeling as if he might be eaten up by death at any moment and he already had an intimate enough of a relationship with it that he didn’t care for another encounter. 

Gabriel shifted, looking in the direction of the dining room. “I had thought that you would have liked to have dinner together seeing as we have not spent any time with one another recently,” his brows furrowed ever so slightly as he turned back to Adrien, “but it seems I must have been the only one who missed you.” 

The pang of guilt was immediate and Adrien wasn’t able to fight it off, even though he was sure he would never regret spending more time with a proper family than whatever it was they had here. 

“Now, would you care to tell me what you’ve been up to that you had no permission for?” 

Adrien looked down, unable to hold his father’s gaze, and shook his head, his voice not willing to work at the moment, even for an excuse. Gabriel hummed in response, looking over Adrien, looking for something though Adrien knew not what it was.

“Then, I suppose now would be a good time to punish Gorilla for having lost sight of you. Maybe I ought to fire him. Such a pity, he was a good worker.” 

Adrien’s gaze snapped back to Gabriel, frighteningly wide, and saw that Gabriel was more than willing to follow through. Being fired from Gabriel is the same as being blacklisted, Gorilla didn’t deserve that. 

“Nathalie, please prepare to send Gorilla his dismissal-”   
“No!” Adrien cut off before he could register what he was doing, no plan formed, but Gabriel was looking at him expectantly now and if he didn’t say something quick, he was liable to lose his attention and Gorilla would lose his source of income.

“I-” his eyes went to the floor again, too weak to continue looking up. “I went to hang out with a friend.” He tries hard to keep his voice from falling off short and was barely successful.

“A friend?” Gabriel seemed to mull this over. “It must be that little DJ pest.” Adrien flinched because Gabriel had gotten quite close to the truth. He felt his father’s eyes narrow at the movement and knew that he would soon regret being unable to keep still. 

“Of course it was him.” Gabriel bit, “No wonder you haven’t been keeping to schedules.” He shook his head, hand to his brow as if in pain, “I knew he was a bad influence the moment I saw him. Nathalie,” he turned to his aid, “Fire Mrs. Lahiffe from our PR team and start on a restraining order. We can’t have filth in our company, no matter how good they are at their job.” 

Adrien’s heart fell.

This was all his fault. He should’ve just stayed at home, should’ve continued obeying his father, should’ve- he should’ve been stronger. Then nobody would have been hurt because of him. 

Adrien wanted to cry, and it must have shown.

Gabriel’s gaze softened just the slightest, but not enough to rid his blue eyes of their ice. He began walking down the stairs. “Oh Adrien, I didn’t want to hurt you like this. I just wanted the best for you, and that simply didn’t include that young man.” He reached the blond child that looked  _ so much _ like his mother. He brought his hand to cup the child’s cheek and bring those watery green eyes to his, “You know I didn’t want to do this right? You know that if you had simply had better self control of yourself, none of this would have happened right?”   
Adrien nodded slowly, “Yes Father.”

Gabriel could feel the warmth from hearing that precious phrase spread in his chest. His boy was smart. He just made a small mistake, that wasn’t unusual. 

Gabriel smiled and patted his son’s shoulder. “I’m glad you understand, please return to your room.” He turned to go back to his atelier.

“...r...lly ca…” 

Gabriel looked back to his son, “What was that? You know you shouldn’t mutter like that.” 

Adrien’s gaze snapped to Gabriel’s, and it was fierce, something that Gabriel had never seen.  _ Those  _ were not his Emilie’s eyes.

“I  _ said _ .” His voice was sharp and pointed, like a dagger, and his mouth was twisted up in a snarl. “Do you even actually care.” It was phrased like a question, but it didn’t sound like it, because Adrien didn’t care what Gabriel said, he knew the answer, but he wanted to say it, wanted to finally get this pent up anger and sadness and regret and  _ why, why do you not love me? _ \- off his chest.

Adrien knew he shouldn’t be doing this, knew he’d regret it, but what else could he do? He didn’t want to go back to hiding in that horribly empty room full of toys for another toy. He didn’t want to go back to being silent whenever he was in this damn house. He didn’t want to go back to the time that Marinette hadn’t touched his life. He wanted to be loved, he wanted to be free.

His son looked feral, hunched in an offensive stance, ready for a fight, teeth bared in a snarl, face marred by anger-  _ eyes  _ marred by anger. Now that was no good. He couldn’t let his son continue acting like an  _ animal _ . He raised him better than that. Best to nip such poor behavior in the bud now than later. 

“Yes.” He stood straight and tall, towering over his son, showing that  _ he  _ was the one with the authority here. “Yes I do care for you. I want the best for you.”

“Really now?” Adrien spit back. “Cause I don’t think  _ locking your son up _ counts as  _ caring. _ I don’t think any of  _ what you just did, _ counted as simply caring for my well being and if you  _ knew me, _ you would have  _ understood  _ that. If you  _ really  _ cared, we wouldn’t even be standing here like this, you would know what I was actually up to cause I would tell you every night personally at the dinner table and  _ you’d know _ who my friends are, _ you’d know _ that since an akuma attack I’ve had a fear of fire and you’d be  _ helping  _ me with that. But you’re not. Because you. Don’t.  _ CARE _ .”

Fury filled Gabriel’s lungs, hot and scathing, overtaking even the small amount of guilt for damaging him, his and  _ Emilie’s  _ son, because he  _ did _ care,  _ why else _ would he be working so hard to get Emilie back? Adrien  _ needed  _ Emilie and he’d bring her back. He just had to get those damned Miraculous and then everything would be set right. The world would be right again. 

It  _ angered  _ him that Adrien had a single drop of doubt that he cared. 

Gabriel stormed back over and Adrien flinched back, bravado gone, because anger meant punishments, and though it had never gotten physical before, Adrien would rather not see where  _ that  _ boundary lies. 

“Come.” He grabbed his son by the arm, tugging him into the atelier, not caring if he bruised the boy. Adrien stumbled to keep up, and he tried, but even though he was supposed to be a hero that had faced his own death, he could not change the fact that he was still a child and this man was still an adult and an adult is stronger than child, especially  _ this  _ adult. 

Time and habit kicked in even through his blind anger, and he punched in the secret combination quickly.

The floor opened up beneath them and they were falling. 

Adrien feared that he was going to be hurt, that Gabriel would take him down to wherever they were going and he’d never come back up, he’d never get to tell his friends goodbye and he’d never get to marry Marine-

His eyes were suddenly full of light and taking in a great room of grand arches and a chasm of a floor. Maybe he’d be pushed off the side, he could run then. It might risk his identity but he could survive a fall at least. 

Adrien didn’t remember getting off the elevator, didn’t remember crossing the bridge, all he remembered was at one point they had just entered the room, and  _ now _ , now his father was standing before him beside a glass coffin, butterflies flitting about well kept shrubbery, and inside that coffin was a woman he’d never thought he’d see again.

A woman he thought had abandoned him. A woman he still loved anyways to this day.

Gabriel’s eyes were manic as he tore off his pinstripe ascot tie, revealing a disturbingly familiar brooch, something he’d only seen on a certain man in purple and grey. “See! I’ve been caring for you this entire time! I’m going to bring her back with the power of the Miraculous!”

He’s gone mad, surely he’s gone mad because that’s not what you call killing people for power. That’s not the type of reason that warranted death, that warranted  _ his  _ death. Sure he was alive again, but that didn’t mean it didn’t haunt him like the nonexistent ghost it was. 

Adrien didn’t know what to say, and it seemed Gabriel took his silence as quiet ascent, approval that yes, yes he has been caring. After all, he didn’t say no, so it couldn’t be anything aside from gratitude. He was promising to bring their family back. There should be no other reaction.

So far gone was his mind that he didn’t properly register the horror on Adrien’s face, the paling of his skin, the quaking of his body.

Adrien felt like throwing up. 

Flashes of hiding behind the banister of the stairs as he stared at the atelier door in fear coming to the forefront of his mind. The shouting, they yelling, the crying. 

His father _ killed his mother.  _ That’s all he could think happened. 

And after his sinful act, his father had hidden her body  _ under the house _ instead of properly buried, keeping it in a glass case as if on display, like a pinned up butterfly, there only for the enjoyment of others. 

Then after he’d set his mother up for like a trophy, he had decided he wanted her back, and thought why not kill some two million odd people to do that? Why not add his own son to the list? There was  _ no way _ that Emilie wouldn’t be happy with that. 

Gabriel had been lying to him this  _ entire time, _ telling him she’d ran away. Gabriel had caused him  _ years  _ of suffering from that, not even mentioning the suffering from akuma yet, leaving him to believe that his mother may not love him anymore. That he wasn’t worth taking when she left for whatever reason. 

Fear of what this man was capable of struck Adrien to the core, wrapping itself tightly around his spine and crawling up to his heart, where it’s control could be pumped out to every inch of his body and freeze him, a viper’s snake close to his mind, threatening to kill him. And Adrien was related to this man who could kill for his desire and cause death inducing fear. Adrien had his blood. 

Adrien was the son of a killer. 

Gabriel relaxed his stance and came back to his son to stand by him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Adrien didn’t let himself flinch though he wanted nothing more than to swat that  _ disgusting  _ mitt off him, if he flinched, that could mean death. “I’m sure it’s a lot to take in, I’ll give you some time to go over this.” He said it softly, as if he could  _ understand  _ the fear in his head. He didn’t need time to think all this over, he already did. 

Gabriel led him back out of the repository and atelier, never once removing the hand he’d placed on him, then left him in his room before walking out and locking the door. 

Outside his door, he heard Gabriel talking to Nathalie, “I’m a bit tired, I will be retiring to my room a bit earlier tonight.”

“Yes sir.” She responded, and Adrien wondered if she knew, if she was being held against her will or working with him of her own choice. He didn’t like either thought.

Adrien waited by the door, listening to the clicks of heels across marble floors, waiting for them to disappear, and even when they did, he waited a few minutes more to make sure she wouldn’t come back.

Only then did Adrien collapse against his door and Plagg flew out.

He tried his best to stifle his sobs, regulate his fear and sorrow and pain so that his father wouldn’t catch them. Plagg didn’t know what to say, so he just curled up in Adrien’s collarbone, and purred, because Adrien couldn’t. Even when he wanted to now, if the boy didn’t feel safe, he wouldn’t purr. So Plagg did it for him until he could find a safe place. 

He sat there and cried, eventually the tears becoming blacker than night. He couldn’t let himself cry too much yet though, he had to do something. When his father punched the combination into the painting of his mother, he remembered the brooch behind it, hidden inside the safe. He needed to get that, and then he could run. He could run and hide and never have to come back. He could go to those arms that held him so lovingly, the arms that promised they could protect him no matter what, and he believed they would. He didn’t know why, but he knew they would. 

Staggering to his feet, he finds its only been an hour since he got home. So much had happened in that time. 

He supposed that would always be the case, overwhelming things occurring in so little time, as if trying to push him over the edge.

He needed to come up with a plan. It wouldn’t be hard to escape his room, this house, even still on the edge of a panic attack and self-deprecating spiral, but he needed the peacock Miraculous at the very least, even if he couldn’t get the butterfly yet.

There were security cameras everywhere besides his room. 

Adrien thought on what he could but that was hard with the panic at the edge of his mind, pushing and pulling like the tides of the sea, threatening to swallow him up. 

Then something clicked. 

Right, he could always just run in and grab it and everything else. He had no plans of coming back, no plans of trying to gain his father’s favor. There was no reason at all for him to not just take off with everything. He’ll grab a bunch of other stuff too to hide his intentions. 

“Uh, kid? What ya up to in there?” Plagg asked as he watched his charge start another round of pacing. Adrien turned to him, finally remembering the kwami was there.

“Oh, just gonna go steal some stuff.”

A large smile, bigger than should be possible, spread across Plagg’s face like a mimic of the cheshire cat from wonderland. “Oh goody, we finally get to do something  _ fun.” _

Adrien planned what he’d take. None of his clothes mattered. Nor really anything else. Except for maybe that blue scarf that, now that he thinks about it, for some reason smells faintly of Marinette, as if the warm smell of bread and vanilla had been woven into the very fabric, as if she had touched it, perhaps she’d even made it. He’d have to ask later, when he  _ wasn’t _ about to break down.

He snatched it from his closet and anything else given to him by either Marinette, Nino, or Alya, stuffed it into what used to be his fencing gear duffel bag, and then scoured his room for anything else he’d miss.

He shrugged his Chat Noir hoodie on.

When he was sure he’d grabbed everything, he carefully dropped his bag outside his window and then moved it to outside one of the atelier windows because in all likelihood, he was going to grab whatever he could, which included his legal documents and passport and other personal items, and then jump out the window. 

It smelled like a storm was coming. He dismissed the knowledge. It didn’t help right now.

Then he went back into his room, shut everything, left his phone, and pulled a hard drive from his computer that had finally gotten everything loaded onto it.

He thought of leaving a note, but then decided against it, it was unnecessary and a waste of effort. 

He had Plagg unlock the door, then he peeked out, checking nobody was around. “Plagg, go make sure no one’s in the atelier. Gabriel said he was going to bed but Nathalie might be in there.” Plagg nodded and was off, coming back a moment later to announce the surrounding vicinity empty.

Adrien dashed for the atelier, not even shutting his door. He was sure to be quiet when he snuck into the atelier and closed the door behind him this time if only to give him some more time.

He had his school bag on him for this, so the first thing he did was rummage through the desk, pulling out a few random but perhaps helpful things as well as his documents, then turned to the portrait, threw it open, and had Plagg unlock it.

Then he looked over his shoulder to add to the scene of panic that Gabriel and Nathalie would obviously find when they checked the cameras, just to make it seem like he really did just grab anything without knowing its meaning.

He left the room a mess, no reason to clean, more time wasted, and only shut the portrait to give him more time before they realized all that went missing. 

By that point, Adrien had made enough noise to alert Nathalie and he could hear her rushing for the door.

He opened the window and was perched on the sill just as she opened the door.

Afraid she’d catch him, he immediately jumped, grabbed his duffel bag, and ran, climbing the wall and jumping over, not noticing how scraping at it’s somewhat rough surface cut and tore at his fingers and left his nail beds bleeding. 

After he was over the wall and in an alley, he transformed, and kept low to the rooves for just a bit. He could rest when he reached Marinette. He could rest then.

So why was it that his body was giving up on him and he was now plummeting with the rain and he was now in a dark wet alley among other dark wet alleys hidden away by the stormy night and he was now out of his transformation?

<◉>

Marinette had been uneasy when she left the house. And the uneasiness only grew when she saw Chat vaulting away across the skyline, so she tried to be quick about this. 

She ran the entire time to the station, and then when she got off, she ran all the way to deliver to the customer she now knew quite well with how often she requested for a delivery, but this time she didn’t stop and chat, this time she had been quick and she was heading back to her station, but the itchy feeling wouldn’t go away.

Rather, the weight in her chest grew and grew and it only seemed to get heavier as time went on.

She wasn’t distracted by the way people looked at her anymore, wondering what in the world had happened to make her be so covered in black ink. Instead of wondering idly about it as she stood on the train, she focused on what could have happened. Most likely something Chat Noir related, she never got this antsy about anything else. 

Gosh why were the trains so slow?! There was a notification at that as if to make a point. She was now at her station and there was no reason to get so upset, it practically mocked her. 

She was off like a bullet, running down familiar streets, searching searching searching for a familiar frame, familiar gold hair, familiar black cat ears, familiar black mask, familiar glowing eyes. Eyes that she would recognize even through the terrible rain. 

He didn’t like the rain much with his cat attributes now, she needed to get him out of it.

She heard a familiar heartbeat start to race against the distracting pitter patter of rain. It was that sort of rate that wasn’t from excitement or joy, rather it was much like the escalated heart that believed it could outrun death if it was only fast enough. 

“Chat Noir?!” 

She was right! Something  _ had  _ been wrong, and the pain in her heart wasn’t stopping anytime soon.

Marinette ran towards the heartbreaking sound, desperate to save her partner, not even remembering she wasn’t transformed. That she wasn’t supposed to be able to hear him or that she wasn’t supposed to know where he was. Tikki didn’t remind her, and she didn’t realize that transforming could have brought her to him sooner.

Stressed with panic building in her heart that may not solely be hers, how was she to know that she was breaking all the rules? 

“Cha-!” she turned the corner, only to freeze where she stood, her mouth still hanging open from the words she left unsaid. 

The source of the sound was Adrien. 

Adrien who sat alone in the corner of a doorframe, huddled within it to hide from the rain, shivering from the cold… and something else. They weren’t even that far from his house. 

Of course it was Adrien. 

She’d known that for a long time now, really, she knew whose face it was she saw in her dreams, she knew whose heartbeat this was, and she knew that she wouldn’t make such a mistake as that. 

She might have tried to reason the answer away again, make up some silly excuse again, she didn’t want to know for certain because that meant there was room for doubt, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t reason it away again. Not when he wore Adrien’s familiar designer shoes and pants, not when he wore them while sitting there in the hoodie she’d made for him. For Chat Noir him. 

Even twenty steps away she could hear his quiet purr. 

She could see a slick puddle of ink around him, slowly slipping out and mixing with the rain to settle into the drain in the gutter. 

“Oh Chat…” she said. The only thing she got in response was a pathetic mewl as he leaned in her direction. 

She walked towards him. He had a duffel bag on his side closer to the inside of the alley, his back pack hooked around his shoulder, both somehow unstained. The way he was huddled hid his face from view, so she didn’t let on that she knew who he was. She wasn’t supposed to know after all. Instead, she slipped the duffel bag on then wrapped an arm around his shoulders, gently grabbing his waist, bringing one of his one arms around her neck, and brought him to his feet. 

She ignored the way her heart leapt when she saw the blue scarf, somehow able to resist the stain of ink and shed it like a hydrophobic surface. Instead, she pulled him closer, so that he was resting his tired head on her, leaving more marks to be found later, because she never pushed them away, always accepted his pain, never hid it. He was showing her his weakness, showing her his broken heart, and that trust was precious and important to her. There was no way she’d get rid of that evidence.

She started their walk back. 

“C’mon kitty. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s finally out of the Agreste Manor!!!! Yay!  
> The finale of this fic is coming and it’s incredible that this has been going for so long and gotten so much support!  
> Thank you all!  
> Any comments, questions, feedback, and speculation is well loved!


	19. Scheming to a Mouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! A double upload! This one ended up too short for me to release it as a normal upload (less than 1K) so I decided to release it early!  
> Another warning for being triggering, the same as last chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> [Edited 29/11/20]

Gabriel had only gotten to rest in his bed for half an hour before there was knocking at his door. He was irritable having his rest disturbed after he had  _ clearly  _ stated he was done for the day so why in the  _ world  _ was Nathalie at his door?! 

He huffed in annoyance and got up from his bed, grabbing his sleeping robe as he went.

“What.” He snapped when he brought the door open a few inches. 

Nathalie’s panicked eyes stared up into his, her hands trembling, knuckles white, as she held on to her tablet with a vice grip. 

“He- he’s gone sir.” She looked positively frightened. 

She should be depending on what she says next.

“What do you mean.”

His tone was threatening and caused Nathalie to flinch, and had she not known how much Gabriel likes eye contact when speaking to him, she would have looked away in fear. 

“It’s A-Adrien s-sir. He- he took the peacock Miraculous, the book, and a few other stuff and-and left.” She was trying valiantly to keep her voice steady, Gabriel appreciated the effort, but couldn’t care much more than that because _his things were gone._ _Taken_ by that- that ungrateful brat!

The air became dark and heavy with bloodlust, Nathalie beginning to cower before him, unable to keep eye contact much longer. 

His sharp blue eyes cut into Nathalie as she waited for her order. 

“You may go.”

She scurried away, not able to leave his presence fast enough. 

He stormed from his room to his lair where he could calm himself to think up a plan. It was his favorite place in the entire house aside from by Emilie’s side and he couldn’t go down there and taint the air with his ire. 

He didn’t waste time calling for his transformation and once it was upon him, he let the maelstrom of despair and rage flow through and around him with a soft hum of pleasure.

Sure, at first it had all been purely for Emilie and Adrien, but he could not deny the feeling of excitement that came to him after three years. It had started with the feeling of strength and power, the ability to  _ control,  _ and then the  _ negativity…  _ ooh it had become a delightful thing. All these  _ emotions  _ to take advantage of!

The flow soothed him like nothing else could, aside from Emilie of course. 

He kept his eyes shut for a little longer, breathing the pain in, and then he opened his eyes, gazing out his window, actively feeling for the proper emotions his brat of a son likely had, the traitor. Panic was a very possible one. 

There was always a sort of hum to each emotion, it told him the identity of the person, the reason for it, it helped in making akuma. He’d long since shut out the bright things such as happiness, he can’t use those for akuma. 

He searched the surrounding vicinity but found nothing of note, stoking his growing irritation. He spread out his range and continued to do so but felt nothing reminiscent of Adrien, that unique hum, soft and warm, innocent and light, so very similar to Emilie. Always so similar to Emilie.

Hawkmoth threw his cane to the ground in irritation with a shout.

Why can’t he find him?! Why can’t he find Adrien Agreste?! He should be more than upset by now! A son fleeing in fear should surely be afraid and yet there was nothing more than the usual.  _ Nothing!!!! _

He wanted to break something. He took the damn miraculous. Emilie’s miraculous! He took the book too!

When Hawkmoth found the boy, he’d make him pay dearly for his delinquency. 

What should he do to teach the boy not to mess with him when Hawkmoth found him? 

Hmm, perhaps lock him in his room and take away his school privilege far past the break is over. Oh but he mentioned something about a fear of fire. Now now, that is no fear a son of his should have, he could do some…  _ exposure therapy _ , now that’d work quite well. 

How he might enjoy the emotions Adrien will emit. It’d be like personally getting them from his beloved Emilie. It wouldn’t be the same of course, but it might satisfy Hawkmoth until Emilie was awake again. 

Oh but first, he had to get the boy back.

Which brought him back to his current problem of  _ not being abLe tO  _ **_FIND HIMMM_ ** _!!!!! _

Ooh how he wanted to  _ break _ something, anything, perhaps use his own emotions to fuel an akuma. But there was nothing good now!

…

Now that he thought of it, La Toussaint was coming soon. Within a week in fact. It was time for honoring the dead, there would definitely be some heartbroken soul out there strong enough to bring back what was his and more.

That night almost five years ago, he had promised Emilie something. As soon as he realized she was gone, he’d clasped her lifeless body to him and whispered a promise Nathalie couldn’t hear through her own tears. 

“I promise Emilie, I swear I will bring you back. That will be the greatest act I could make to take care of our son.” 

After that, with cold resolution he’d ordered Nathalie to call for a cryogenic pod and he fled down to the repository they had created for Adrien to play with more sentimonsters and perhaps teach him how to use the miraculous before they realized it was hurting Emilie. 

It was here that Emilie would be kept. In the place that would have contained happiness had it not been stolen away. 

So much was stolen by cruel fate.

It was time to take it back.

Hawkmoth smiled inhumanly. 

A monstrous akuma capable of finally getting the Miraculous, released on La Toussaint.

What a  _ perfect _ way to honor Emelie and that promise he’d made so many years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized while writing this that I don’t think I’ve ever read from Gabriel’s perspective when he’s being a true villain. Maybe I just haven’t read enough fanfic.  
> Also! It turns out that All for One OSTs are _great_ to listen to when writing villainy. :)  
> Did I do well making him a proper villain? Let me know!  
> This name is a bit of a metaphor and idiom. Ever heard of ‘the best-laid schemes of mice and men’? The chapter title kinda foretells what happens in the following chapters. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Next week we should be getting onto the finale however, depending on how well I write and what I get done, my update schedule may be up in the air.  
> Have a good weekend!


	20. Fête de la Toussaint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took awhile but I can finally upload the eve of the end! I think this is the longest chapter up to date at 8.5K!  
> By the way, I finally got that art I promised for chapter 14 done! I'm so sorry it took so long! I've also included art in this chapter.  
> We'll finally learn what the blue flames and gold means! I hope you like Jaquelyn, I've had her planned out for about a month now. Her inspiration was Christina Perri's video for Jar of Hearts but for the majority of this chapter, I listened to Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie.  
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> [Edited 29/11/20]

Jaquelyn was brought to the graveyards with a bouquet of chrysanthemums like any other French, because today was Fete de la Toussaint, and even though it was the day you were to honor the saints and tomorrow was the day you honored those you knew because tomorrow was All Souls Day, not today, people didn’t care. It just resulted in two days in which people honor those that had left the world.

Jaquelyn wasn’t here for any family, well, not blood family, because her family was still quite alive and all; no, she was here for her chosen brother, her best friend. 

Pain stirred within Jaquelyn’s chest, pain and sorrow and grief and it was overwhelming and she was just so full of thoughts that said this was unfair and he shouldn’t have died. 

It was just over a month since he’d gone, the dirt on his grave still fresh. It was such an unfair thing too, but she supposed that’s how most feel, she’s been told it’s normal. But it’s the truth. It shouldn’t have happened.

He died on the 30th of Sept. It was an accident really, but she blamed one person for it and tried not to blame two others. It wasn’t the heroes’ fault that the cure didn’t work because he wasn’t in her limits.

Did you know Twenty Die was akumatized on the steps of Square Caulaincourt? Of course not, because nobody cared about the location of an akumatization, just the person.

It was a slow day, she and Anthony had decided to go to one of the cafes there and just hang around.

They heard crying, a teenage girl crying out about heartbreak, how her life was so irrevocably changed by him because it was him that brought her into the world of games such as Dungeons and Dragons, and even if she  _ did  _ get better than him, that wasn’t a reason for him to leave her.

Of course Anthony ran to her the moment he saw the butterfly. 

She fought, the girl fought hard, and Anthony was there by her side to help her, but soon she was so drawn into her head, fighting a battle only she could hear, and losing quickly. She brought her hands up to cover her ears as if she could get rid of the devil’s voice. When it didn’t seem to work, she shook her head too and her elbows hit Anthony hard. 

That would’ve been fine. Really it would’ve, but they were on the first step down the stairs, and Anthony was on the edge. 

It didn’t take much for him to fall.

And fall he did.

He was falling sideways, wide eyes turned to her in surprise. There was no way he could get his feet under him, no way for him to grab the hand rail just behind him.

She’d never forget the surprise in his face, nor the way it soon turned to terror. 

It felt as if the world had frozen then, but it continued, even if her mind did not, and his head slammed down on the corner of a step with a heavy crack. 

Even though the damage was done, he continued to fall until he finally he crashed onto the first platform and she heard another snap. 

She didn’t remember when she started running, when she’d gotten down the first set of stairs, but she was there and maybe she tripped because her knees and hands were sore and had cuts and scrapes. 

There was a pool of blood beneath him, it stained her holey jeans. He was looking up at her, but not really, not really because his eyes were vacant and they stared past her, clouded and unseeing. His wrist was broken, but what did it matter when his head was too?

Only seconds later did Jaquelyn hear the screech of the girl behind her. She looked up and saw Twenty Die floating above the few pedestrians, her face twisted in rage. 

Jaquelyn didn’t know what to do about Anthony, her hands hovering over his lifeless form, but Twenty Die just rolled a nine and now there was fire everywhere and she had to  _ get out of the way! _

She gathered Anthony in her arms and pulled him off to the side onto another small set of stairs that led to a balcony area of sorts, smearing blood across concrete and stone, where they hid from the fury of Twenty Die.

Jaquelyn didn’t care for the blood that was staining her clothes, she just needed to keep Anthony warm because he was becoming so so cold so fast despite how  _ hot  _ his blood was. She cradled him gently in her arms and brushed his short, bloody and matted, caramel brown hair out of his face. 

She started to sob, oh Anthony, oh Anthony, he was gone, dead and gone, and all Jaquelyn could do was hope that even though it was right before the attack, Anthony still counted as something to be cured when Ladybug cast her magic.

Imagine her great sorrow when the ladybugs filled the air and reversed the damage of fire but didn’t reverse Anthony.

So now, here she was, cursing Hawkmoth, trying not to hold anything against the heroes, right before her best friend’s grave. Her best friend damnit.

Why’d he have to go? Why him, the caring selfless boy? He just got into the animation college course he wanted and he couldn’t even take a step into the building he had admired since they were in high school. He was so good at animation too.

It should have been her. 

If anyone were to die, it should have been her, because she wasn’t as good. But just like her name, she stole his place in life.

Jaquelyn tried not to cry at the unfairness of it all, her eyes had already gained an eternal, bloodshot and puffy look, she didn’t need to encourage it, but still the tears gathered, and she wiped them away with bloody hands that weren’t actually bloody but she couldn’t forget how warm he’d been as his life fled him and how it had stained her.

The only solace she had gotten from the situation was that it had been quick and painless, the doctor said he died on impact, no time to suffer, because that’s what happens when your brain is exposed to the world.

She wanted her friend back.

Life was so dull without him to laugh and joke with her. Their usual table at their favorite cafe was so lonely and her books were so empty now, because she had planned on writing stories that Anthony would eventually bring to life visually, but you can’t bring something to life when you didn’t have any for yourself.

Jaquelyn found it hard to hold a pen now, hard to type, and whenever she tried, her hands would become slick with blood and suddenly, she’s not in her room before any paper or computer, suddenly she’s back on the steps, holding his cooling body in her arms.

She moved out of her house and into his apartment, where all his stuff still was because then she could wake up every morning and for at least _ thirty seconds _ each day she could make herself believe that he was still here. 

Jaquelyn bit back a sob, she couldn’t burst here in the cemetery, there were others here paying their own respects and she didn’t want to disturb them, so instead, she knelt down and crumbled in on herself before her friend’s grave. 

She didn’t notice the black butterfly.

Even if she did, it wouldn’t have mattered, because she would have welcomed it.

<◉>

Gabriel was busy at his desk in his atelier. Even if his son was gone, his work could not suffer for it. 

He continued to feel the usual flow of emotions from the brooch that sat on his chest, but nothing was particularly spurring. He’d held off on making any akuma in the past four days, eager for his plan to commence. He almost couldn’t focus on his computer. Technically he didn’t have to work as it was a holiday and he could spend all his time in his lair, but if he didn’t work, he’d be trigger happy and he had to wait for the  _ perfect  _ bundle of agony. 

Then it struck him like a brick. Excruciating guilt, drowning agony, and a hell bent fury. It felt familiar, something he had experienced. Something that reminded him of Emilie.

He almost giggled with excitement, but he couldn’t as that was not a very Gabriel-like thing to do. Instead, he smiled manically.

Finally! The time had come!

He rushed up to his lair and called his transformation, sending the akuma after the festering pain.

This one would be strong, not only because of how strong the emotions were, but because it had a  _ direction _ . The dull blade was already pointed at something; injustice, a killer. Oh how unfair it was. He died. He was gone. And it was someone’s fault. And they needed to pay.

Hawkmoth’s grin grew. 

Murdered! Her friend had been murdered! The need to make the killer pay was always a great motivator, Hawkmoth got some of his greater akuma from those types.

The akuma landed on the pot of yellow chrysanthemums in her arms. 

“Jack-o-lantern, your friend’s life has been stolen, I will grant you the power to not only lure others to their demise and collect their souls so that you may exchange them for the life of your friend, but the power to exact revenge against the one who stole his life. In return, you will bring me the Miraculous of Creation and Destruction.”

Perhaps if Gabriel cared to look at the smaller news channels, he might have known this girl, he might have known who died, but as it was, he was a busy man, and his Miraculous was not omnipotent and he could not recognize the hatred directed at him.

If he hadn’t akumatized Twenty Die, or people in general, Anthony would still be alive. He’d still be here and he would still be able to laugh and love and they’d continued to be best friends.

_ If it wasn’t for you. _ She thought bitterly, but Hawkmoth was no mind reader and did not respond to the wrath in her mind. This gave her an idea. Her lips widened in a maliciously excited smirk, the type that would appear with the thrill of a hunt.

Jack hummed her acknowledgment, not sure she could keep her plans to herself if she opened her mouth, allowing the power of the akuma to overcome her in a flurry of purple bubbles. 

It was possible that she’d somehow be able to beat him to death with her new powers.

That would be fun.

<◉>

Marinette opened her eyes to the sight of grey clouds hanging low in the sky on the other side of her trap door. 

There was a shuffle at her side and she looked down to see Adrien, face in her side, snuggled as close as he could get to her, curled into her like a kitten searching for warmth.

The past four days had been a little strange. She brought Adrien home, making sure her parents wouldn’t see his face, but it was for naught as he had completely stopped trying to hide his identity. Usually, Marinette might have been mad, but when she looked at him and saw his broken form, tears of shadow in the corner of his eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

He rarely talked and and whenever she asked him about why he was in that alleyway, he refused to meet her eyes. He had simply pointed to his bags and Marinette got the idea. 

She had already known his father wasn’t treating him right, but to know it finally got to the point he felt he had to escape, ooh she wanted to rip that man a new one. Gone were the days that she looked up to the emperor of the fashion world. On that first day Adrien began full on living with the Dupain-Chengs, who thankfully said nothing about his identity, she had torn every  _ Gabriel  _ magazine apart and anything else from him. 

She wished for a revolution. 

A dethronement.

Perhaps she could even be the one to lead it. 

One of the few times Adrien had spoken was the night she’d found him. Both he and Marinette needed a shower and when she had left him to take one since she could wait, he begged her to stay in the bathroom. Despite her hot face, she had acceded. He looked like he would break apart if she denied him. So she had sat in the bathroom, him beyond the curtain of the shower, and kept her eyes to the door, ignoring every unclean thought that made its way to her mind.

She didn’t dare force him out when she got in. He promised to keep his eyes shut so long as he was allowed to stay. He leaned against the edge of the tub the entire time. It had been a strange and slightly embarrassing event, but she had gotten through it. She was just thankful that whenever they had to use the bathroom, he at least stayed outside the door. Perhaps it was simply the thought of being apart for so long that got to him and made him want to stay with her even when she showered.

Since then, he continued to stay when she showered, and she started to gratefully desensitize to the embarrassment. Her parents didn’t mind so long as they stayed proper, keeping to their side of the curtain, and they trusted the two to do so, seeing how they both had slept in the same bed continually with no issue before. 

The two hardly ever parted anymore, it was easy with him practically living there now. Marinette knew there was a period in their lives when they didn’t spend so much time together, but she had almost forgotten it. 

Her life had become a before and after. It had done that when she got the Miraculous, however  _ that  _ before-and-after was quickly overshadowed by the before-and-after known as Our Son. But just like how it had been when she became a hero, she had almost completely forgotten what life had been like in the before. She could barely imagine being without Tikki, and now the same could be said about Adrien. 

Marinette knew that most people had a hard time being around someone so often and completely, usually needing some form of alone time, but it seemed that that was not the case for her and Adrien, and when she looked around, she quickly noticed that her parents and friends were hardly apart as well. They weren’t as attached at the hip like her and Adrien, but they were with their partner quite often too. She wondered when Alya and Nino had gotten so close, but didn’t ask. It wasn’t something that  _ needed  _ to be asked. She was pretty sure that it happened soon after Nino avoided Alya. 

Alya and Nino continued to visit, but if they noticed Adrien’s identity, they, thankfully, kept silent. Marinette had checked after Alya’s first visit, but had found nothing on the blog. With how well her family and friends were taking it, she almost had to wonder if perhaps they already knew, and unlike her,  _ accepted it _ . 

Marinette swore that it was only because of her parents’ and friends’ support that she was able to stay afloat. Marinette felt Adrien’s misery as if it was her own, almost constantly drowning her and her heart in it, and she wondered how Adrien was even doing as well as he was. 

He was so incredibly strong, despite his deep, harrowing pain, he regulated his sorrow well so that Hawkmoth wouldn’t find him. She couldn’t bare to tell him the sort of influence he has on her own heart, she couldn’t take away any chance he had at expressing himself. If he knew his grief hurt her as much as it did him, he’d try to completely block it all out and she couldn’t have him do that, so she hid it beneath a smile as much as she could, and tried to hold him afloat despite her own drowning. She was  _ so  _ grateful for her parents and Nino and Alya.

Her fingers had become impossibly blacker in the span of four days, and she was constantly finding new ink stains she hadn’t thought were there. She had joked about how she would soon become a dalmatian at this rate. At the time, the comment had made her heart ache in a way she knew was not of her own doing. 

When she looked to him, she had seen the gratitude in his brilliant green eyes for how she didn’t try to hide the evidence of his pain, however, she had also seen the regret for having been the one to mar her pale white skin. When she realized how he was thinking, she had been quick to shut it down. 

“ _ You did not ruin me _ ,” she had said when they went back to their room, “ _ Do you have so little faith in my beauty?”  _ He had shaken his head erratically, vehemently denying such a thing.  _ “Then the marks are fine, I like them.” _

She noticed that he still tried to get them to not stain her when he cried, as he had found he could somewhat control what it stained, but she continued to accept his tears, loving every last one, so that he knew he was completely accepted. Whenever he cried, she was always there to soothe his pain and kiss it away like she had that first night he had come to her room.

Honestly, she loved the way he painted her skin, she just wished it hadn’t been from sorrow that the ink was there.

Marinette looked down at the messy bedhead blond at her side, and gently started to card her fingers through the soft golden locks. A purr rumbled to life, vibrating next to her, and she delighted in it. 

She sighed and thought about what they would do today. Marinette’s family was lucky in that everyone had thus far had great longevity; no one had died yet and before Chat’s -Adrien’s- fiery death, she had never personally dealt with the feeling of loss, so they didn’t have to go to the cemeteries, but they would still celebrate the day with a great feast and eat together like they always did every year. This time they’d just have a plus one. No one would mind.

Marinette glanced to the clock on her phone.

It was still early.

She’d let him sleep a bit longer.

<◉>

Jack-o-lantern had yet to grab the attention of the heroes of Paris. It had been hours since her akumatization, but she was sure to keep quiet. If she was caught too early on, she wouldn’t have enough power to get away and then bring back Anthony. 

It was painful keeping to herself with Hawkmoth insisting that she appear. It was giving her a head ache, but she fought him, and continued her quiet endeavors, finally explaining at one point that gaining power before fighting the heroes would be smarter and only then did the bastard relent, mumbling something about how he had picked a good one this time or some crap. She honestly wondered how the heck the man had lasted so long with so little planning. 

So even though the day continued on, there had yet to be an akuma alert, and there was silence in the graveyards. 

It wasn’t anything unlike normal.

Except it was.

Because the cemeteries ought to be bustling with activity and yet there was the silence of the grave. After all, there can’t be much noise from the dead.

<◉>

Despite the festive air, something stirred heavily above Marinette. Something thick and dark, threatening to choke her. She didn’t understand why everything felt so heavy.

Her parents didn’t seem to notice, but Adrien stuck closer to her side than normal, so she was pretty sure there was something off. But what?

The day continued on but the pressure didn’t lessen. 

It was at 5:30, when the sun had begun to set, that things finally happened and the tension broke.

Everyone was at the extended dinner table, Adrien, Sabine, Tom, Nonna Gina, and even, somehow, Grandpapa Roland. It had been a surprise miracle that he decided to come, but they were all thankful nonetheless. 

Marinette got a message from Alya, saying to turn on the tv. She was quick to do so, not bothering to think why she wasn’t going to the LadyBlog like she would have in the past. 

There was footage from a helicopter of a young woman, jumping from house to house, screams ensuing as she entered, silence following when she left, and Marinette wondered in fright what might have happened in there. 

The headline read “Akuma alert” and Nadja was reporting what had happened from within the heli. “She has yet to stop and explain her motives like previous villains, the exceptions being the most recent and dangerous villains. Thus we expect her to be particularly strong and dangerous, please hide within your homes and avoid any contact with the akuma. We will continue to report from on site and inform you all if we learn of her name, motivations, or powers.”

Adrien stood up and walked to their room. Not saying a word, and for once, straying from Marinette, which felt odd. 

Marinette shot a worried look to her parents, they nodded in understanding and somehow,  _ somehow, _ she realized they truly did know. She was grateful for their understanding as she rushed up the stairs to her room. Leaving behind a shouting Gina and Roland, wondering as to why they both left the table. Roland was the most upset as they were breaking traditions, but Marinette ignored it all, trusting in her parents to come up with some excuse.

When she got to her room, Adrien had already transformed, and she was forced to bid him goodbye because gosh darn it, she had been stupid and forgot to tell him who she was over the past four days and now was a very very poor time to go revealing her identity. 

Even though she wanted to blame herself, she couldn’t, because she had been so focused on keeping afloat, keeping them both afloat, she hadn’t the time or energy to think about telling him the truth. So she waited till he left before she transformed.

Before she could jump away, she stopped, and realized with a small amount of shock that she hadn’t transformed since before the ink stains. She hadn’t even realized how long it had been since the last akuma. Almost a month wasn’t it? How had she not noticed the gap?

She supposed she was too busy, too focused on fighting off pain and comforting Adrien. That was still no excuse. 

Her normal uniform had changed. It was still skin tight, but the design was different.

Her shoulders, forearms, and hands were black, as if she were wearing gloves, but there were lines of red separating the black and making it seem as if it was chitin armor. Her chest and neck looked the same as before, but right below her breasts, it cut off into black again, reminiscent of a corset before continuing on to become more like the bottom piece of a swimsuit. The black ended when her thighs began, and it returned to her normal red and black-spotted style, except for the straight black stripe slicing the red down her thigh that reminded Marinette a bit too much of the strap of a garter belt for her liking. The line went from torso to just above the knees where once again, black interrupted red and continued down her legs to form boots. She even got a bit of heel now  _ (which made her secretly happy because heels were  _ fantastic  _ weapons). _

If this was her new outfit after the ink stains, what did her face look like? 

Marinette dashed back into her room and peered into the mirror. Her mask was still red at least, but her lucky black spots now looked like splattered ink instead of perfect round dots. The rest of her face was luckily ink free, aside from one lone strike down her cheek below her left eye. It started after the mask ended, so it didn’t look much like a tear stain, but Marinette thought that that’s what it was actually supposed to be.

.

She looked back down at the rest of her, her yoyo didn’t seem to change and still sat at her waist, but  _ why in the world  _ did she have freaking garter belt straps?! Was her skin tight suit not enough?!

She didn’t have time to be worrying about this now though. Ugh, her mother was going to be  _ so  _ upset when she came back.

With thoughts of how Sabine would react in mind, Ladybug took off, quickly joining Chat’s side as they ran across the rooftops in search of the newest akuma.

The sky hung low with clouds that twisted and turned in ferocious blues and scarlets, wind whipping at her hair and face. The sun was below the stormy clouds that looked as if they had been ravaged, low and in their eyes. 

It wasn’t until they found her that they stopped to take a breath and Chat finally looked over at her. 

She saw his face flush and how he turned away from her. She wondered why for a second, and then remembered the new changes. She had to fight down her own embarrassment.

She turned back to the akuma that had gone stock still, merely standing there now, the news helicopter high above. 

“Any plans?” Chat asked, but they hadn’t seen much from the akuma, they still couldn’t decipher what she looked like yet, though they noticed how the soft blue glow that had been there before was now quite bright.

The girl turned in their direction despite the fact they were hidden behind a chimney. “Come out.” Her voice rang with power, “I know you’re there.” 

Ladybug and Chat went stiff. There wasn’t much you could do against an adversary you knew nothing about, especially when you lacked the element of surprise. 

One of the poor things about having been a hero for so long was that everyone already knew you, your battle style, and the type of things you would do in certain situations. They were on the losing team at the moment, they didn’t know what would happen if they refused to listen. 

At least she hadn’t attacked them yet. 

Ladybug sighed and walked out into the open, Chat hesitant.

“Come closer.” She said and her voice was soft and whimsical. It felt oddly like she was at the fancies of the faery queen, Titania. She wasn’t wrong about the faery like quality. 

Ladybug walked forward, Chat by her side in case the akuma attacked, ready to help protect. 

Close now, Marinette finally saw what the akuma was.

Atop her head, a chrysanthemum sat, tilted slightly sideways. It’s petals sunk lower and lower, soon becoming leaves, to replace her hair. 

Her entire body was green and pear shaped, her limbs unnaturally long and thin, as if the slightest force would snap them like twigs. Her face was soft, small, petite. Petite nose, petite mouth. She was rather quite cute with long eyelashes and big, glowing blue eyes that seemed able to see into your soul. When she opened her full lips, her mouth, too, glowed blue. Her cheeks seemed to be cut just a little, and more blue escaped the ragged lines, the same blue in her torso and streaming in swirling carvings on her arms and legs. 

Below her collarbones, in the middle of her chest, was a hole, a divet of some sort that seemed as if it were supposed to hold something; a vine or root twisted around it before moving down the middle of her chest, covered in two large pumpkin leaves, till just below her bust. Her torso was entirely made of roots winding around an open space, the only thing holding her upper body up. It was like a lantern, for in the empty space that should have contained her organs was filled with hundreds of little blue flames. 

The roots turned to more leaves that formed a skirt. 

The girl’s hands and feet also appeared to be covered in pumpkin leaves. 

. 

“My name is Jack-o-lantern,” She said simply, “and I will not be explaining my motives. A pleasure to meet you, now I must take your souls and Miraculous.” 

That’s all the warning they got before she stomped her foot and a wall of vines and pumpkin leaves was sent crashing towards them. 

Chat Noir and Ladybug jumped out of the way, separating. The vines twisted and split as well, following their movements. 

Chat jumped high to get above it and perhaps land next to Jack, baton already pulled. Ladybug sent her yoyo from the side. They needed to incapacitate Jack as they still didn’t know where the akuma was. 

Another wall of vines, thinner, stabbed through the ground and knocked Ladybug’s yoyo harmlessly away. Then they went forth to stab her, knock her away as they had her weapon, and she ducked, sliding past their first strike and just a bit closer to Jack-o-lantern. 

The vines that had already been chasing Chat rushed up to greet him as he reached the height of his leap and he was forced to extend his baton. It struck the ground and pushed him sideways, away from both the thorned vines and Jack. He continued to bat and kick away the thorns that threatened to stab him through or capture him.

Ladybug lunged, Jack created a cat tail whip from her vines and snapped it toward her. Ladybug spun her yoyo into her normal shield, causing the whip to slap harmlessly off it which was a bit surprising because usually the stuff thrown at her shield was shredded, but no matter, at least she wasn’t hit.

Except she didn’t realize that using her yoyo as a shield in front of her left her back open and a vine grew from the ground to slap Ladybug into the roof. Pain radiated from Ladybug’s back as the air in her lungs left her in a gasp and she smacked into the roof below her, scuffing her chin. 

Chat realized he was slowly being backed into a corner but even though he knew that, he couldn’t do anything about it because there were so many vines and they were continually beating upon him in a barrage. 

He wasn’t sure how much longer he could fight off the vines but he knew he could keep at it for a bit more when he saw his Lady get back up from a beat down. He could fight just a bit longer, and soon his Lady would end things like she always did. 

Her eyes lit upon him in a glance and when she felt the determination in his green, her own determination solidified again. 

Ladybug knew she would have been sore tomorrow and likely have a bruise in the shape of a vine across her back had she not been able to use her Miraculous Cure, so she counted herself lucky, except that meant that until she used her powers, she would still have to deal with the pain that stung dully as she fought.

How the  _ hell  _ did that thing hit her so hard? She had a magical suit on! 

She slowly pulled herself out of the small, Ladybug shaped crater she’d made and staggered to her feet. Her back stung now and she was having a slightly harder time breathing but she could still fight. 

She prepared herself and dove back into the fight. 

She wanted to get closer to Jack but no matter how hard she tried, the vines were always there to stop her progress and push her back.

She leapt over and destroyed vines again and again, just barely evading more hits, and as she fought Jack’s vines, Ladybug also fought with the air, forcing her lungs to follow her head despite their burning. She would certainly be tired later, but she would need to be careful as she evaded and tried to get closer to Jack because if she completely wore herself out now, she would be no help later and possibly become a liability.

Still, with Jack’s control and the fact that she hasn’t used a drop of her own endless energy, leaving it as if she  _ wasn’t  _ fighting the heroes of Paris, meant that Ladybug  _ couldn’t avoid  _ using up all her energy, and that also meant Jack was getting even more of an upper hand as time passed.

Ladybug looked over to see Chat wearing down as well. 

They needed to end this and fast, but Ladybug was hardly given any room to think, much less call on Lucky Charm. 

They were at a disadvantage, only able to use their powers once. Never had it felt more like an inconvenience than it did now, because usually, she could work around her limits, but not this time.

Looking away was a mistake.

A thorned vine whipped into Ladybug’s chest, stealing her breath and cutting across her skin through the suit. Then another swept below her and knocked her off her feet and she fell.    
Perhaps if she hadn’t been knocked down, she might have been able to wrestle her breath into control, but when she met the ground for a second time, the air  _ wouldn’t come back _ .

Her head hit the ground hard, causing stars to burst behind her eyes. 

She tried to gasp, to get air into her aching and beat up lungs, but they wouldn’t listen. Instead they spazzed, her body shocked at the impact. 

It likely took several minutes to gulp air down like a drowning man, but she was eventually able to do it though her throat scratched with every breath. She just continued to lie on her back.

Ladybug wondered why she hadn’t been attacked again and realized with a start that this wasn’t a fight. This was Jack, playing with them.

The pain was still blooming behind Ladybugs eyes and at the stem of her neck and she wanted to cry. 

She was being beat like this and hadn’t a proper chance to fight back, for Jack-o-lantern’s amusement?   
Why? What was the point?

Ladybug heard her partner cry out as he was slashed across his arm, tearing through his suit and leaving a gash of bleeding red.

It didn’t matter why, it didn’t matter if she could properly fight right now, because Ladybug needed to get up, she need to help Chat and protect her loved ones.

With a painfully dizzy head, Ladybug sat up, her eyes swimming. Her ears rang and the spinning was so bad she wanted to throw up, but she had to get to her feet, and so she would.

She probably had a concussion, but that could wait to be taken care of because she needed to  _ fight  _ or perhaps this time she really will die.

It took a great amount of effort, but finally, with blood streaming down her face, she stood again. Jack laughed with great excitement.

“You got up again! You’re so good at that, I want to see how long you can keep it up!”   
Dread filled Ladybug’s stomach. 

She was gonna die.

She was gonna be beat to death and then die. 

She couldn’t let that happen.

She had people to protect.

So she would keep fighting, even if she  _ did  _ die, she’d find a way to keep fighting. 

Chat was on his knees, holding his arm, he was so tired. He wasn’t sure he could move anymore, he couldn’t evade, and though it filled him with regret, he’d have to leave his Lady to fight this monster on her own because another pointed vine was coming his way and he’d likely be dying again.

He closed his eyes, undesirous to see the world before he left it again, and waited for the stab to the chest, but it never came.

There was a shout and when Chat opened his eyes, he saw a sphere of green surrounding him, cutting off the vines nearest to him. The broken vines writhed like the tail of a lizard that had been pulled off. 

His eyes flickered up to one of the higher rooftops near them in disbelief. He looked back at his Lady, just barely getting up from the ground, and back to Carapace. There was no way Ladybug had any time to run off and get another hero. So why was he here?

Distantly she had heard a shout and now it was followed by a whistling tune but Ladybug couldn’t focus on that right now, not when she was trying so hard to keep on her feet and come up with a way to defeat Jack. It was really hard when your head was screaming at you to lie down and go to sleep.    
Her body was so tired. She could already feel the bruises forming. 

Jack-o-lantern’s eyes shined in dark excitement, her smile so wide, it felt as if it had been carved out of her. 

Ladybug fixed her stance and prepared to fight again when Jack’s face became one of confusion. Slowly, not daring to take her full sight off of Jack as she could be tricking her, Ladybug looked to the side and found herself face to face with herself, and several more of herselves. They all looked exactly like her, staring back at one another in shock, blood running down their forehead and cheek, and even despite the shock, their faces were still twisted in pain.

Ladybug didn’t know what was going on, but the rest of her copies turned back to Jack-o-lantern with a determined look while she still felt as lost as before. 

A hand reached out and cupped over her mouth, pulling her back and keeping her from screaming.

What was happening? Was she being taken by Hawkmoth? Mayura? She struggled in their grip and bit the aggressor’s hand even as she watched her copies engage with Jack. The owner of the hand let out a small yelp of surprise but otherwise didn’t react and the hand stayed over her mouth.

Ladybug continued to thrash blindly against her kidnapper, panic setting in because she was exhausted and didn’t have much fight left in her and that left her weak and vulnerable to her aggressor’s whims.

She was pulled behind a chimney before being released and she whirled around, ignoring the stab that attacked her brain and the black dots filling her vision when she did that, to fight the one who’d grabbed her as much as she could and hopefully get away, but her eyes were filled with orange and white and red, not at all the blue of Mayura or the purple and grey of Hawkmoth that she had expected. 

“Rena Rouge?”

That didn’t make sense at all, because she didn’t go get the Miraculous and give it to Alya, unless perhaps Master Fu gave it to her personally, but that wasn’t like him at all. He would never endanger his identity unless the truly needed it, and Ladybug didn’t feel like that was one of those times. 

Hawkmoth and Mayura weren’t here and there was only one akuma. Had things really gotten that bad?

Rena Rouge smiled at her, “In the flesh.”

“But how? I didn’t go get you.” She responded.

Alya’s grin slipped, her cheeks colored, and she looked slightly embarrassed. Her gaze slid down to find interest in the ground. “Ah, well, I guess that kinda happens when you get engaged to the new Guardian, becoming one too.”

The words just spilled from her in a rush, like they couldn’t get out fast enough, and it almost felt like looking herself in the mirror because usually that’s how  _ she  _ acted.

Then the words sunk into her mind, through the fog, and now she wasn’t sure if she heard right and she was terribly confused because  _ what? _

“New Guardian? Engaged?” She asked, because this was very very important to her.

_ When had this happened? Was she no longer going out with Nino? But that didn’t make any sense because they were still together just the day before! Then Nino’s the new Guardian? And that somehow made Alya one too? _

She could ask all those questions later though, and right now, she just really needed the answer to one. 

“What happened to Master Fu?”

The blush faded from Rena’s cheeks, and though her eyes were already on the ground, they seemed to fall lower, losing some of their previous light. 

Panic flooded Ladybug’s veins like ice water, freezing her where she stood, but before she could ask again what happened, there was another shout. 

Ladybug turned slowly, hoping to avoid the dizziness, to see beyond the chimney she hid behind to the fight she had been in moments before.

Chat Noir was wrapped in Shell-ter, banging against his protective confines, because Carapace was in a large, viney grip and he couldn’t break free. 

_ Well, that answers the question of who’s the new Guardian and the one with my best friend’s hand in marriage. Good to know they’re still together. _

It was a slight sarcastic thought.

Rena was already moving when Carapace was brought to Jack, her flute drawn and ready to whack an akuma upside the head.

Ladybug could only stand there, rooted to the spot, because something was different. Something was wrong with this image. 

Rena was tearing at the vines holding her fiance to no avail and Carapace was only centimeters from Jack’s face. 

Jack-o-lantern took a deep breath in, and blue flame escaped Carapace’s mouth before he fell limp and pale in her grasp.

She opened her mouth wide, and swallowed it.

Jack glowed just a bit brighter than before.

The Shell-ter shattered, but Chat could only stare at his best friend’s dead body, unable to process  _ what  _ exactly had just happened. Surely he was assuming wrong and his friend didn’t just die, because how could he die? Just seconds ago, his skin was it’s normal warm tone and now it was pale and his eyes were shut and he wasn’t moving anymore. Chat couldn’t even see the small rising of his chest because that’s what happens when you’re breathing but that meant  _ he wasn’t breathing- _

Rena didn’t fight when Jack turned to her, she only held tighter to Carapace’s body, weeping, as if Jack would take his corpse from her too. But Rena shouldn’t be weeping.

Rena was strong because Rena was Alya and Alya never went down without a fight.

Yet this time she did, and Ladybug could feel an agonizing empathy because she knew why, she had been just as debilitated when Chat had burned like a man on a stake just over a month ago. 

And here she was, again, only able to sit back and watch as her world fell apart one more time. As the blue, fiery soul left Rena’s mouth too, and she was back in her nightmare. Alya was blaming her again, but she was dead and rotting, and she was holding onto Marinette with enough force to bruise, and Nino was an open cavity, his body decimated and destroyed by god knows what. 

They were dead.

They were dead and Marinette had a chance to save them this time but she couldn’t.

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t right at all.

An image flashed behind her eyes, filling her mind. 

Nino, carrying a small blue flame in a pink and green protective barrier, Alya by her side comforting her.

No, they were not supposed to die here. And yet they are gone and the blue fire wasn’t in his protective barrier anymore. 

Ladybug’s feet reacted before she did, a good thing too, because her head felt like cotton, pushing her to where Jack would soon be and her Chat, her precious, beloved Chat, was sitting frozen.

She remembered having wished he would never have to face the pain of the survivor. It seems she wasn’t lucky enough, because in the end, he would suffer both victim and survivor.

Vines slipped through cracks in the ground and they wound themselves tightly around Ladybug, trying to keep her from getting any closer, but she would not stay.

She could save him. 

She could save him this time. 

She just had to get there before Jack got her awful hands on him.

But of course she couldn’t even do that.

Because she was Marinette, and Marinette wasn’t as lucky as a ladybug.

The vines tore at her, tore at her suit and her skin and left her arms bare and raw and red, and soon they were bleeding because the vines had thorns and they were very thirsty, but she didn’t care, she didn’t care that her head was screaming at her and it was getting hard to breath and she was so exhausted she could fall over now, because all that mattered was Chat -Adrien- he was all that mattered.

The sun sunk, died, at that moment, and left the world in utter darkness, because even though Ladybug was motivated, in the end she couldn’t continue with the vines holding her back, and Jack reached her beloved.

Jack-o-lantern gripped Chat by the the jaw and lifted him off the ground, but his eyes would not stray from the prone forms of his friends. He doesn’t ever remember making the connection, but somehow he knew who those two were. Perhaps it was from all that time they spent coming to the Dupain-Chengs.

“Aww,” Jack whined in disappointment, and turned to face Ladybug, a smile stretched across her face, “I thought I was gonna have a great battle, but that was hardly even a fight.”

That stung Ladybug worse than everything, because it was true, it had hardly even been a fight, it was just that one sided. They basically just got their butts kicked.

“Welp,” she popped the ‘p’, “Now’s time to claim my reward, isn’t it?”

Jack’s eyes glittered maliciously as she continued to stare at Ladybug with that victorious smile that only seemed to be like salt in the wound.

She brought Chat up to her face, she was going to take his blue flame too, wasn’t she? Ladybug didn’t know what the little blue light symbolized, it could be something like life force, but Ladybug didn’t really care what it was at that moment, it didn’t matter what specifically it was, she just knew that when it was gone, someone was dead.

She didn’t stop centimeters from his face like she had previously with the others though.

Jack smashed Chat’s lips to her own because she was hurting, her best friend was taken from her and Ladybug hadn’t even the power to put the world right, and she’d seen the way Ladybug had begun to look at her partner in the recent akumas. The longing, the fondness, the light, fleeting touches that seemed to linger  _ just  _ a bit longer than they ought to. The trailing gaze and blush dusted cheeks.

Love.

Ladybug was in love, and wouldn’t it  _ sting  _ to see the one you love have their lips stolen by another? Stand by and  _ watch  _ as they are taken advantage of and  _ nothing  _ could be done about it?

Jack-o-lantern was hurting, and so she would hurt them too. Maybe it was mostly Hawkmoth’s fault, but they didn’t do their job properly, so Jack was gonna hit where it hurt.

Lips locked, Jack sucked the soul out of Chat, relishing in the shock and panic and hurt on his face because  _ he loved her too _ , and felt immediately so much stronger than before. She had noticed with the other two Miraculous users that their souls offered more strength than the normal civilians, but those were nothing in comparison to the boost known as Chat. The added bonus was that look on Ladybug’s face as once again, her beloved was stolen from her. 

Jack let go of Chat and he fell in a heap with a soft thump. She smiled cruelly at Ladybug, still trapped in her vines. 

It would be so easy to take her soul too, but she wanted the heroine to suffer a bit before she did that.

Tears fell from Ladybug’s eyes, and they were not the starlight they should have been.

Her body was marked by destruction, it would not be strange that she should be different.

Inky shadows, darker than the night, spilled from the bluebell that had faded in color to an ashy grey that refused to stray from her partner.

“Take the miraculous!” Hawkmoth yelled in Jack’s ears, she rolled her eyes at his impatience.  _ Could he not just sit back and enjoy this for a bit? _ But she knelt down anyway, and plucked the ring from the dead boy’s hand, deciding to be gracious enough to hide his identity from that pesky helicopter, and made a large pumpkin leaf grow from the roof and cover the incarnate of destruction like a shroud.

Jack placed the ring in the cavity of her chest, and danced away. 

With the great power that had beaten Hawkmoth several times, the same power he desperately wanted, and the power of the souls she had just collected, she was sure she could now get her revenge. 

When the black tears that fell from Ladybug’s eyes slid down her cheeks hit the vines holding her, they withered away and finally released her.

Ladybug stumbled forward to her beloved, her limbs feeling useless and like dead weights, her joints creaking as if ancient, her mind throbbing. She wasn’t sure if she was walking straight, and she felt as if the ground might come up to meet her again because she deserved it, but she needed to get to  _ him  _ first. 

She’d failed.

Just like that time against Our Son, just like that time in her nightmares. 

She fell to her knees that screamed in protest at having hit the ground so hard. But what damage to herself mattered when  _ he  _ was lying there like that?

Ladybug leaned forward below the pumpkin leaf and pushed her face to his chest, searching for a beat, even though she knew it was fruitless because she’d already heard it fade, but she still hoped, she still hoped that maybe, somehow, it would still be there, her  _ Minou _ ’s heart,  _ her  _ heart.

But it wasn’t there.

_ It wasn’t there. _

He was  _ gone. _

Again.

She’d failed him again.

And he was gone. 

The ice that had settled in her blood when she had asked about Fu turned to steam, heated by searing pain, and boiled her insides. It crawled it’s way up her throat and tore itself from her.

She screamed and wailed and the sky opened up before her and the stars fell from their heavenly places. Ladybug held her precious  _ Chaton, _ and would not let go.

It didn’t matter if ink swallowed the roof and spilled down the sides of the building to fill the streets with their pain.

The heroes had been defeated. 

Their heroes had died, and the only one left alive could barely move. 

All of Paris mourned.

Today was supposed to be a festive day. 

They all supposed it stayed true to itself though, after all, it was the day of the dead.

How had things gone so horribly wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended on another cliffhanger! It seems I _am_ capable of doing it more than once. :D  
> I've never created a fight/action scene before so I hope I did well.  
> How did you like Jaquelyn and the art?  
> Next time will be the last chapter! I will be releasing it on Friday! Thank you all so much for following along with me!
> 
> Thank you all for reading! <3  
> Comments, feedback, speculation, and questions are well received!


	21. Your Heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I can't believe I freaking wrote this! 18.2K words guys! I wasn't even planning on doing this much but now I understand what other authors mean when they say the characters write themselves.  
> Disclaimer: I do not know anything about the French judicial or police system. I kinda based the office station off of what I've seen in _Detective Conan_? Uh, yeah.  
> also
> 
> **WARNINGS**  
> 
> 
>   
> Due to wanting Gabriel to pay for what he's done, there is a very, _very_ graphic section in this chapter. Graphic enough that I honestly thought of maybe upping the rating. If anyone feels I should, please leave a comment and I will fix it!  
> This section will start with this symbol: [>!-<◉>-!<]  
> I will try to make the end of the section as clear as possible for those who don't wish to read. If you do choose to read, I recommend you have a strong stomach.  
> There will be a synopsis in my end notes if you wish to skip.  
> Aside from that, there will be mentions of suicidal actions though I don't plan on making a synopsis for that nor will I put in a warning for that section as it is part of a particularly large section.
> 
> Please read carefully! I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> [Edited 30/11/20]

It was dark.

Adrien knew this darkness.

It was cold and stagnant, but familiar.

He had a hard time focusing.

He couldn’t remember how he got here, or where here was. 

But he knew he had to find something.

Iridescent crystals and blush lotuses came to mind but soon disappeared.

What was he doing here? 

What did he _need_ to do here?

He looked about. 

There was something glowing, just over there.

Adrien didn’t remember starting to walk but he must have since he was moving closer to the blue light.

As he approached, more blue lights appeared, and finally, when he was near, hundreds to thousands floated within the darkness.

Small, blue flames.

These too seemed familiar.

Adrien reached out, feeling as if the fire would flicker out.

He saw a clawed grey hand, but when he blinked, there was nothing there, and the fire did not disappear.

Confused, he looked down at himself.

Oh.

He, too, was a blue flame.

<◉>

Marinette hadn’t known what to do.

She knew she ought to have gone after Jack, but when she had looked up to the almost completely dark world, she hadn’t a clue where she had gone.

Pain thrummed behind Marinette’s eyes, her brain not happy with her crying for so long after getting a concussion. She sighed, she couldn’t do anything about the aching until she got some pain meds, seeing as she wouldn’t be able to use the Miracle Cure just yet. She knew that she should rest with a concussion, but she also had to eventually go out and fight Jack again, she hoped her head wouldn’t retaliate too harshly. 

She looked about the rooftop, letting the fact that she now had _bodies_ in hand settle in her mind. 

Marinette wouldn’t be able to fight Jack even if she could with them around.

Adrien still lay within her lap, cold and unfeeling, slowly becoming stiff, beneath the cover of the pumpkin leaf. 

Alya and Nino were still in suit, Nino in Alya’s lap and Alya fallen over atop Nino. Usually by now, their transformation would have run out since they’d used their power, but Marinette supposed that because their bodies were no longer alive, the power they had access to no longer had a limit. 

She’d have to ask Tikki about it later, when she’d gotten off the roof.

Ah, yeah, that would be a good place to start.

Marinette herself was also still in suit. 

She looked up at the helicopter that had completely stopped moving and merely hovered there. They hadn’t even turned on their lights yet. She wondered how much longer they could stay up there.

She shrugged.

It didn’t actually matter to her. In all likelihood, the moment she moved away from here, they would go back to the station.

She was sure that the camera was still running though. If they were so shocked that they hadn’t moved at all, then she doubted they’d turned off the camera, so Marinette would have to be careful about this.

Marinette -yes, she was Marinette, because she didn’t really feel like a hero at the moment despite the magical suit still covering her- lightly tugged on the pumpkin leaf, pulling it down. She grabbed her yoyo and threw it at the stem, cutting the leaf from the ground.

The leaf fell the last bit farther, now properly covering Adrien.

She slid out from under Adrien and kneeled.

Marinette got to work properly wrapping him up in it in a way that no one could see who he was.

Then, she picked him up and held him close, like he had for her that day she had caught a fever and she had gone to him for comfort.

She walked to Rena and Carapace.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not, her ink tears hadn’t affected them, and now that she thought of it, neither had they affected Adrien.

Carefully, holding Adrien in one arm, she lifted Rena and gently hefted her onto her shoulder. Then, shifting Adrien to the other arm, did the same with Carapace on her other side.

Standing up properly, she tested if they’d stay.   
After a small jump and a twist with neither of her friends falling off, she found it would work. She probably had to thank the super strength for being able to carry them.

Not sparing another glance to the mess of a roof, she leapt away and began her journey home.

Where else was she to go?

She doubted Nino and Alya’s parents knew about their childrens’ extracurriculars and Adrien ran away for a reason. Her parents already knew who Adrien was, and likely who she was. It was safe there. So that’s where she’d go.

As she ran across rooftops, windows and street lamps slowly lit up, glittering off the black sidewalks and streets, as if becoming the new stars that had disappeared from the sky. Only few lit the night.

The moon was nowhere to be seen.

Even as Paris stirred to life again, the Eiffel Tower remained dark.

The Eiffel Tower was the heart of Paris, often it would turn off at earlier times when tragedy struck as a way to honor the victims of whatever it was turning off for, but never once did it simply not turn on at all.

It disappeared that night, swallowed by the darkness, for it was the heart of Paris, the place where Ladybug had first declared she’d protect all, and how could the heart exist when it was gone?

Marinette reached her balcony unhindered, but when she landed, it felt as if she was suddenly hit by an incredible wave of exhaustion, and she fell to her knees.

Her trap door burst open and she looked up tiredly to see her parents climbing out of it. Her vision blurred and the world pulled once more on her, or perhaps it pushed her, because now she was alone.

_“You and me against the world.”_

That’s what he said.

That’s what he said and yet it was only her now. 

She doubted she could even go get help from Master Fu now, because something happened to him and now Nino and Alya were Guardian and they were dead.

What was she to do now?

Her eyelids felt heavy.

She’d figure that out later. For now, she was just gonna drop to the ground and act as dead as the people in her arms.

Marinette fell, but it was into something soft and warm.

Surprised, Marinette’s eyes flickered up to meet her parents’ watery ones.

“Oh sweetheart.” Sabine whispered, voice pained, caressing her cheek and trying to wipe the ink away, but it wouldn’t fade, because Marinette didn’t want it to, not like how Adrien’s never stuck.

She wanted these to stay, and so they seeped into her face and stained her skin.

Tom gathered her and the bodies she clung to, and brought her down into her room.

They set her down on her chaise lounge before gently taking Rena and Carapace from her shoulders, laying them down, side by side, on the wood floor before her.

She looked at them properly for the first time and noticed differences in their suits that hadn’t been there before.

Had Alya’s tail always been a proper tail? Had she ever had a hood?

Had Nino always had reflective bits and swirling designs?

The suits probably changed to accommodate their new interests, which was what Marinette had made.

Wow. 

Ok, so Adrien was the only one without a wardrobe change now.

…

Actually, she had yet to see him transformed without his hoodie, so she couldn’t be sure.

Marinette was drawn from her lazy thoughts when her father tried to take Adrien from her arms.

She held onto him tighter. 

No, no he can’t take him.

Not him.

He was gone now.

This was all she had left.

They couldn’t take even his body from her too.

Tom stopped trying with a sigh before kneeling down in front of her.

Come to think of it, where had her mother gone?

“Cupcake, I need you to lie down and rest and you can’t do that when you’re still holding onto him. I promise we won’t take off with him, he’ll stay here, so please, won’t you let him go?”

Marinette almost wanted to refuse, but then she looked into her father’s eyes and saw how worried he was, saw the hurt and anxiety lying beneath the surface. 

She- she could let go of him for a bit and rest, as long as her father felt better. She didn’t want to see him so hurt.

Her grip relaxed and Tom offered a small smile before lifting Adrien’s still wrapped body from her hands.

For some reason, the leaf was covered in red now. 

Then Marinette looked down and realized that oh, that was because she was bleeding.

Her suit was torn on her legs and arms and stomach and from every tear there was blood and open flesh.

Marinette didn’t look too closely.

Despite the pain that was slowly coming back and the way her body protested it, Marinette stood, and asked her father to put Adrien on the chaise. There wasn’t much room left on the floor for another body and she didn’t want him placed near the dustier corners of her room.

Tom debated it for a moment before finally putting him back on the chaise.

He moved back to head downstairs and check that Sabine got everything properly, giving Marinette space to unwrap Adrien.

The leaf fell away and once again, Marinette was face to face with his dead form.

He had scratches here and there that no longer bled but it seems he did better than her at evading the vines, though most of the injuries she sustained was actually because she ran through the damn things so it wasn’t that hard to get away with less than her.

He was still in his hoodie, miraculously unscathed despite the fact that he had worn it to battle, and she realized that perhaps his transformation had made an exact copy of the thing so that he never had to part with it. The black of the fabric just further pointed out how dead he was. His lips were blue, cheeks lacking warmth. He had looked miserable the past four days but Marinette supposed that you can’t beat death at making someone look wretched.

Marinette refused to think of the lack of heartbeat, of how, despite being in a room with three other people, only her own heartbeat remained, echoing throughout the empty room.

If she thought about it, she’d burst into tears again, and this time, she likely wouldn’t be able to stop.

Sabine came through her trapdoor with cups of tea on a platter and Tom close behind, carrying their first aid kit.

Sabine looked at Marinette who was sitting before the chaise and then realized how many cups she had. 

“Oh.” she simply said, and just that one word made Marinette cut her hands on the pieces of her heart.

Four cups.

One for Marinette, one for Adrien, one for Alya, one for Nino.

Four cups.

Only one will be drank.

Three will sit and cool and go to waste.

Marinette fought hard against the tears threatening to spill.

She was barely lucky enough to blink them away.

Sabine placed the platter on Marinette’s desk, grabbed the single cup that would be used, and gave it to Marinette.

It was warm in her hands.

The pleasant smell of chamomile filled her nose.

Just the warmth and scent alone was enough to make some of the tension leave Marinette’s body.

Tom kneeled beside Marinette.

“Could you detransform for me cupcake?”

Marinette nodded and whispered, “Tikki, spots off.”

In a flash of light, the suit was gone and Tikki was limp and in her lap.

The pain hurt a lot more now, her brain pulsing with her body in waves of hurt.

She just pushed it further from her mind.

She looked up to Sabine and asked, “Can she have a cookie please? I’m sure she’s exhausted.”

Sabine nodded with a smile and scooped Tikki up before heading back downstairs. 

“I’m gonna have a look at your wounds now, alright?” Tom asked.

Marinette took a sip of the tea, enjoying the warmth that filled her with it, and nodded.

The smell of antiseptic stung at her nose as Tom began to attend to her wounds but she ignored it in favor of focusing on the pleasant scent of her tea.

Sabine came back when Tom was done with Marinette’s right leg with some painkillers and a recharged Tikki.

“Hey Tikki.” Marinette tried to smile but her mouth barely moved and her eyes did not lose their melancholy.

Tikki’s mouth screwed up and her forehead furrowed. Large tears began to slip down her small face. She whizzed through the air to hug Marinette’s cheek. 

“I’m sorry Marinette! I’m so sorry!”

Marinette brought her hand up to cup the kwami in her palm, “Don’t be sorry, really, I should be the one apologizing, because she took Plagg.” 

Tikki shook her head and continued to cry.

After a few minutes, Tikki’s tears slowed. Tom finished wrapping up Marinette’s other leg and had begun working on one of her arms, making her put down the tea.

When Tikki was finally calm, Marinette brought her down to look at her properly.

“Do you know why Nino and Alya are still transformed?”  
Tikki looked over at Nino and Alya who almost looked like they were only sleeping should you look past their ashen hue.

“It’s a security measure.” She muttered, “To keep their identities secret. Under normal circumstances, Wayzz and Trixx would have taken the Miraculous off them and returned to the Miracle box and Guardian, but they’re already with the Guardian, so they stayed. If Nino and Alya weren’t the new Guardians, they would still stay transformed for a day or two even after Wayzz and Trixx took the Miraculous back.”  
“So in this case, the transformation would still drop in a day or two? Or would it continue indefinitely?” Tom started working on her other arm so Marinette had to let go of Tikki, who now was floating on her own.

“I am not sure myself as usually, a new Guardian would be chosen before the previous Guardian died. For now though, we should probably take their Miraculous off.”

Sabine asked where their Miraculous were and Marinette told her.   
The transformations slowly bubbled away once the necklace and bracelet were off, leaving Alya and Nino as simply Alya and Nino with two tired kwami on their chests.

Wayzz, shivering and curling further into himself as if he could possibly make himself disappear, whimpered and hid his tears behind his flippers. 

Trixx, despite being exhausted, crawled to Alya’s cheek, almost collapsing once or twice on his unstable paws, to lick her a few times before curling into a little ball and crying. “Kit, my kit is dead! My precious new kit is gone!”

Tikki watched them sadly and explained, “It’s always hard on a kwami when their holder dies in action. Wayzz has never had to go through it before as usually his holders are the Guardians and stay out of the line of fire.” She then floated over to Wayzz and pulled him into a hug.

Wayzz sobbed into Tikki’s arms.

It was heartbreaking.

Tom finished bandaging Marinette and joined Sabine who had watched from the side. 

Marinette turned to Tikki, “What do they like to eat?”

Over Wayzz’s head, she responded, “Trixx likes bacon or blueberries and Wayzz likes anything green tea.”

Sabine immediately headed down the stairs.

Moments later, she came back with a handful of blueberries and a few green macarons.

When the macarons were held out to Wayzz, he sniffled, tried to dry his tears, and looked at them for a moment before taking one. Slowly, he took a nibble. His face lit up when he recognized the flavor and he began to eat more fervently, tears spilling from his eyes once again.

“We were lucky that I started to experiment with some matcha.” Tom said in explanation. He knew Marinette would wonder where they got the macarons as they’d never had such a flavor before. 

Making sure it was okay, Tom lifted Marinette’s shirt a little and began dressing her abdomen.

The blueberries were offered to Trixx, but he didn’t take any.

With a sad look, Sabine left them in a small bowl on Marinette’s desk. “If you decide to eat something later, they’re here Trixx.” 

The only sign that he’d heard was a small twitch of his ear.

Marinette looked to her parents, “What about Nonna and Grandpapa?”

Sabine sighed and squeezed her nose bridge, “After your grandfather saw there was an akuma, he ran home to make sure his mice were okay. We somehow got Gina to go to bed in the guest room after she became upset that Rolland just up and left like that.”

Marinette nodded at the information. 

“Speaking of bed,” Tom spoke, done with the little treatment he could offer, “It’s time for you to rest.” He continued before Marinette could protest, “No one knows where Jack-o-lantern is and you’re hurt and tired. Please cupcake, get some rest before you go running off to face her again.”

Marinette, though reluctant, didn’t want to worry her parents more than she had to and so relented.

Tom and Sabine smiled, then Tom helped his daughter up so she could go to bed, tucking her in like he had when she was younger. Sabine brought blankets and pillows up from downstairs and draped the blankets over Nino, Alya, and Adrien before propping their heads up on the pillows. She then went up to join Tom on the side of her bed. 

“I called to let Alya and Nino’s parents know that they’d be sleeping over again.” She said. Marinette sighed in relief. One less problem to deal with.

“Thanks _Maman_.”

Sabine leaned down to kiss Marinette’s forehead, followed by Tom, before they wished her goodnight and returned downstairs. Marinette tried not to let her heart sting at the affectionate action. It was just that… Adrien was the one who did that for her now, every time they woke up.

She wiped the stray tears away. 

With her parents gone and only the soft cries of kwami and Tikki’s soothing words to fill the space, Marinette tried to sleep. 

It wasn’t too hard, she was exhausted and the chamomile tea had helped her relax, but when she finally slipped into slumber, she was back on that roof, watching over and over the moment her friends and love were taken from her, watching over and over just how much she _failed_ , watching herself struggle against her binds from a small distance, and be unable to do anything aside from that.

After the fifth replay, Marinette couldn’t stand being there any longer, and tore herself from her mind, from the rooftop, and sat up gasping for air, covered in sweat.

A sob built in her throat but she cupped her hand over her mouth, keeping it locked inside.

She looked around in search of comfort, in search of her teddy bear, and found him down on the chaise lounge, silent. Tears spilled from her bluebell eyes. Her body shook with them. They should have been starlight. 

They should have been starlight but now they were midnight. They were shadows and ink. They were _his_ tears. 

Quietly, she climbed down from her loft bed and stumbled to him, her _Chaton_ , her partner, her love, her other half, her heart, but her heart no longer beat because it was stolen.

Everything was cold, so dark, her entire body ached, but it was not from the wounds now dressed and bandaged, it was from what she had lost. 

Her chest stung with every thrum that no longer existed. It felt as if there was a cavity in her torso, not unlike the one Nino had the time she had failed. 

She fell to his side, and held his calloused and slightly rough hand close, as if holding it would wake her up and she’d find it warm. 

She kept her eyes open. 

Burning the image of her love’s prone form, her friend’s cold bodies, into her mind.

She would not blink.

Every time she so much as shut them, she would flinch at the thought of returning _there_. 

The sorrow and grief, the regret and pain, they fueled her tears, _his tears_ , and she felt as if she was drowning in the shadows and ink. She desperately gulped down air but she _still couldn’t breathe_ -

The shadows pulled at her, the ink stained her, and she could not help but sink lower and lower, the hole where her heart should have been, cold and painful with every breath she took, as if he was still there to share his melancholy. She continued desperately clutching his hand like the lifeline it once had been, now merely a stone cold reminder of what could not be returned, and ignored the way her mind screeched at her from exertion.

Marinette wept till night faded to day but did not stop even then, for though the day had come, the sun did not.

[>!-<◉>-!<]

  
  


Gabriel didn’t remember much. 

Not from _before_. 

He vaguely recalled crying out in triumph that he now had one of the Miraculous and anxiously awaiting Jack-o-lantern, an akuma that _finally_ got things done! 

Not only did she obtain the Miraculous of Destruction, she killed the holder!

He was so _close._

She finally arrived. 

Not at the actual lair, goodness no, who knew what was trailing her? He wouldn’t have an akuma in his lair so close to Emilie. 

So they were meeting on a random rooftop. 

It was dark and residential, meaning it was _full_ of despair. 

Delicious despair. 

It was so deep. It pushed and pulled at him in waves, _begging_ to be used, abused, _enjoyed._ He could pick anyone at random and they’d make an _excellent_ akuma. 

He could wait though. He needed Jack to finish the job. Then he could reclaim the akuma and spend time playing in the misery before making a wish. 

She landed lightly behind him, barely making a sound, but he could see the light she carried, the light of souls, and he could feel the power that seemed to be bursting from her.

He turned, words of congratulations on the tip of his tongue, but when their eyes met, their was something… off.

Hawkmoth furrowed his brows in confusion. Something didn’t feel quite right. 

His face scrunched up further, suddenly quite absorbed in this new sense of wrongness, and that’s when he looked down.

Oh.

Pain blasted through his veins, seeming to tear him apart by every cell, every atom being separated, and there was so much _agony_ that he couldn’t even react. 

Embedded into his chest was an iron grey vine, bubbles of black that reeked of destruction floating about the infernal thing. Where it had gone through his chest was a pool of black.

Hawkmoth moved his hand ever so slightly and felt his shattered sternum scratch against the rest of his insides, felt his ribs shudder, his organs slosh. He barely dared breathe but there was now a burning in his throat, clawing at his mouth, demanding he open his lips and allow it to escape, and Hawkmoth could do nothing against it. 

Blood fell from his mouth in a cough, warranting his shuddering chest to break even more around the vine that held still. 

His blood coated the vine, but it disintegrated into steam as if the blood was touched by acid.

Hawkmoth tried to hold very, very still as he yanked on the akuma in Jack, desirous to pull it away and perhaps akumatize someone so that they could heal him, however, he felt something stop him.

A lock.

It felt like a lock.

His akuma was trapped and protected from him.

But how could _that_ be?

It was _his_ akuma, _he_ had control over it!

And yet, no matter how hard he pulled on it, calling it back, it wouldn’t budge.

Jack’s face literally split in a grin, the ragged tears in her cheeks opening to widen her mouth into a horrifying resemblance of a proper jack-o-lantern.

“Confused?” she asked and immediately continued on, she didn’t need an answer when she already knew it. “That’s what happens when I have more power than you.”

Gabriel didn’t understand. 

More power?

Jack, being kind as she is, pointed to the cavity in her chest.

“Not only do I have _this_ jewel, the souls of Miraculous wielders have quite the punch in them.” 

Her grin grew impossibly wider, threatening to completely cut her face in half, and the sclera of those glowing blue eyes filled with darkness greater than Gabriel had ever seen. 

“I wonder how much power I will gain from you?”

Dread filled Gabriel and he quickly found that he did not like to be preyed on, so very hypocritical of him. 

“Why,” he spluttered, trying desperately to get air in his body despite the flooding of his lungs in blood, “Why are… you doing this?” his voice came out raspy and grated on even his own ears.

He knew, somehow he knew, that he was going to die in a bit, that there was nothing he could do to avoid it. 

Unexpectedly, he had no qualms with that fact, it didn’t quite seem to register, neither did his failure. If he was to die in a few moments, he’d like to know why the dog he fed turned and bit his hand.

Jack simply smiled, her dark eyes glittering with malevolence.

So he was to be denied the knowledge. 

Fine.

That was fine.

At the very least, he would be joining his dear Emilie soon.

Content with that fact, he allowed his eyes to slide shut and the pain to dull until nothing was left, only darkness. 

He should have known that if Jack was petty enough to not even answer his last question, there was no way she’d let him just go like that.

But he hadn’t thought of it.

He wished he did now.

If he had, he would’ve fought tooth and nail to get away from her, even if he simply ended up dying on another rooftop, it would’ve been better than this.

Gabriel sat against the wall of his cage, head back and against it. 

He looked broken.

That was indeed what happened.

He had awoken in here soon after the darkness consumed him and he thought perhaps it was all a dream. 

He’d gotten up for the day and dressed himself, preparing for another day of work and possibly an akumatization. 

As per his routine, after brushing his teeth, he headed to his atelier, skipping breakfast, and went down to see his lovely Emilie before he got working.

However, when he had gotten to the repository, not all the lights were working. Many were completely off, others flickering, and others shining as they should. One of the working lights was the one directly above Emilie, it led him to her like the moth to a flame he was.

Something had obviously been wrong, but Gabriel hadn’t been stressed, if the light’s weren’t working, he could simply get someone to repair them. The shrubbery he usually kept up seemed to be rotting, and that was unfortunate, but he could just replace them. There was still no true need to stress, but it wasn’t just the lights or the shrubbery.

Before him, below the main brilliance, the cryogenic pod was open.

Her body lay strewn about, decimated and torn in a gory display. Once white butterflies were dark and also in a similar state as his precious Emilie.

Her organs were trailed across the entire platform, her limbs chopped off and thrown about here and there.

Her torso still lay in her pod, cracked open like a walnut, her ribs on exhibit for the world to see.

Blood was everywhere, coating almost everything.

He wondered how he had not noticed the horrible stench of rot and the heavy smell of iron before?

What truly got to him though, was her head.

Propped up on the pod, in a swath of her golden locks, dirtied by brown and red, Emilie stared at him with greyed, half lidded eyes that no longer resembled the brilliant green of life, her face blank and yet it still felt as if he was being judged a sinner.

Gabriel ran.

That was not his Emilie.

 _His_ Emilie would never look at him like that.

There was not even a possibility of her becoming like that, so he must be dreaming still.

Like that, he woke up again.

Afraid of the state his Emilie was in, he skipped his morning routine, rushing past Nathalie, ignoring her questions.

Gabriel calmed when he saw that the lights were fine, the shrubbery green. Though for some reason, the main light was off, and no matter how many times he flipped the switch, nothing happened, so he opened the window, and promptly fell to his knees in dismay.

Her arms, hands, legs, feet, stomach, all of it was stained red with her blood, for Emilie was tacked onto the window like a butterfly, his white butterflies innocently fluttering about her form, except it wasn’t so innocent, for when he looked closer, he realized they were tearing her body apart in small pieces, consuming her remains.

Gabriel wanted to throw up, but before he could, he woke once again in his bed, and over and over and over and over and over again he would rush to his repository and bear witness again and again to gory displays that should not have been possible, because she was safe from the world, no one but Adrien and Nathalie knew of this room’s existence and they would _never_ do this to her. They loved her as much as he did.

No, he loved her more, but they came close, so there was no way they would do this.

So why?

Why was she like this?

One time, his hands felt uncomfortably wet, thick and sticky with some sort of liquid and when he looked down at his hands, they were covered in the glistening scarlet of blood.

Soon, he was not simply rushing to his repository after waking up, Nathalie’s questions when he ran past every morning becoming screams of terror, no, he was already awake, in the middle of the night _he_ was the one tearing her limb from limb, tacking her to the window, snapping her in half, shattering all the lights, and eventually, he stopped waking in his room.

Now, he woke in the midst of destruction and decay.

Now, he woke surrounded by the bodies of several Emilies he personally destroyed, and he was covered in her remains, his ascot tie nothing like peppermint, his outlandish cream suit permanently stained a disgusting brown, his hair a ratty mess and always in his eyes, his glasses were long gone and yet he could _still_ see the horrors he committed.

When would this end?

Despite the bodies surrounding him, there was still one Emilie in the pod, peacefully in eternal slumber, ignorant of the destruction he caused.

He couldn’t look at her anymore.

Couldn’t bare to see her body untouched, couldn’t bare to see the ones that surrounded him.

Finally, having enough, he clawed his own eyes out. 

He didn’t feel the pain.

Not anymore. 

What could be worse than experiencing tearing her apart? Seeing her dismantled?

In comparison to what he has done, this was nothing, just a dull ache in his mind.

Still, somehow, he continued to destroy the most beautiful thing in his world, the only light he had. He couldn’t see her, and yet he could feel as he ripped her flesh apart and held her organs, could hear the sound of her bones breaking apart and blood splashing to the floor, could smell the rotten stench of decay and iron.

The senses were branded to his mind, the feeling of her body abused in his hands seared to his skin.

His body continued on it’s own.

He couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t let himself do this.

Couldn’t let himself set her on fire, stab her over and over, leave her to rot.

So he scratched at himself.

He tore _himself_ apart.

He knew he could, he’d done it so many times to _her_ after all.

He broke his nose so that it only filled with his blood and not the scent of hers, pulled his ears off so he could not hear the wretched sound of her body and plugged the holes with pieces of his ascot tie, broke every one of his fingers, snapped his legs, gouged his stomach out. And when he could taste the rot and iron in the air, he cut his tongue out too.

And finally, finally, after destroying himself so many times, he stopped moving.

He heard nothing, saw nothing, smelled, tasted, felt _nothing_.

He simply sat there, and breathed, every inhale and exhale feeling like a punishment.

He should no longer be alive. After everything he’s done, he shouldn’t be allowed to lie here and live unlike his lovely Emilie.

Tears filled his unseeing eyes, black and red falling down his cheeks.

  
  


<◉>

Jack chuckled under her breath.

After stabbing Gabriel, she had pulled his soul from his body before it faded, and then torn the brooch from his chest, leaving him in a pile of his own blood.

Then she had created a small bird cage of the rotting vines she had used to stab the man and stuffed his soul in it.

She didn’t know what his nightmares were of, she just knew that it had taken only a few minutes before she felt his fire dim as he gave up and broke.

Good, he deserved it.

Man she loved the power that came with the Miraculous of Destruction. She could do _so much_ with the powers and she finally got back at Hawkmoth and avenged her brother with it!

His soul would not find a place in her, so she tacked the small birdcage and broken soul onto a hook she grew at her hip.

His soul had to stay out here because she liked to make sure the souls she stole were relatively comfortable, then they wouldn’t fight her so much. Besides, there was no reason to hurt them, she just needed them to get Anthony back. She wouldn’t hurt innocents. She wouldn’t even leave the heroes in discomfort. They already paid the price for failing her the moment she stole them away.

Now she just had to create Anthony a new body. His was likely already rotten, and that was fine, because he’d need a new body if she wanted him to be able to keep up with her anyways. 

She’ll make it of her vines.

<◉>

Adrien, despite knowing he was dead, despite knowing he was nothing more than a blue flame, continued to wander. 

He wasn’t quite sure why, but he did.

He was searching for something.

That’s all he knew.

What he was searching for?

That was something he didn’t know.

It was important though.

And he needed to find it. 

He felt like it was something warm. Something safe. 

Was he in danger? He didn’t feel like he was, but he didn’t feel safe either.

He could not rest here, so he wandered, in search of whatever it was that he lost.

<◉>

Day came, but despite the light outside, Marinette knew the sun wouldn’t be there, even as she looked up at the glowing orb in the sky.

So she didn’t move.

Her parents had come and tried to talk to her, tried to get her to eat something, at least get a drink of water, but she would not move from the body of her sun.

Ink continued to flow from her face, but it did not stain anything aside from her and now, when it finally reached the ground, it would disappear in small puffs of smoke.

Marinette continued to hold Adrien’s cold hand. Around six in the morning, it had completely frozen and would not move. His body and Alya and Nino’s stayed stiff the rest of the day.

Despite that, despite being surrounded by corpses, she would not move.

It was almost as if she too had died and were it not for the inky tears and small movements of her chest, her parents would have thought maybe she had.

Her chest continued to ache. 

It was a familiar ache, one she recognized quite well having experienced it so much over the past five days, and so it wasn’t hard to place.

Somewhere out there, Adrien was still somehow hurting. 

His soul was hurting.

She felt the desperate need to find him, but she had no clue how she would do that.

Darkness fell upon the world once more.

In a last ditch attempt to get Marinette to react in any way other than how she had so far, her parents brought up a scrapbook that they had been working the entire month on for her and Adrien, so that, maybe later, when they looked back, they wouldn’t only see it as a terrible time in their lives and maybe, just possibly, see it in a better light and be thankful for any growth they gained after weathering through it all.

They looked sadly upon their daughter who was as emotionless as a doll aside from the constant stream of tears that disappeared the moment they hit the ground. They hoped this would work, that perhaps it would draw some sort of reaction from their despondent daughter.

“Sweetie,” Sabine took a step forward, scrapbook in hand, before kneeling in front of Marinette, “I want you to have this.” She set the baby pink scrapbook with accents of mint green in Marinette’s lap.

Her eyes fell to the book and Sabine moved back towards the trap door where Tom was. He pulled her into a side hug as they watched on.

Marinette wasn’t quite sure what it was that her parents had brought her, she didn’t hear them say much, and if she did, it was foggy, like she was hearing them speak from the outside of a room. Her vision was narrow and blurry, she was sure that her sclera must be as black as Adrien’s were when he cried so she thought it was reasonable that she couldn’t see very clearly. It was a relief of it’s own that she hadn’t cried her eyes away yet so she would take slightly blurry vision for now.   
She looked at the book in dull curiosity, wondering what in the world her parents had brought her, when her eyes fell upon a black cat paw in the very middle of the cover. Her breath hitched at the familiar symbol and the way the mint and pink created simple, but beautiful patterns.

Slowly, with the one hand that wasn’t still in Adrien’s she opened the book.

The tears in her eyes became stronger but lost some of their depths, somehow seeming lighter than before. She could feel how her body ached now, properly feel herself, the way her leg stung with pins and needles from not having moved for so long, how her cuts and bruises protested for being forgotten for so long, but oddly enough, they didn’t hurt so much and she didn’t feel the pounding of her head that should have been and she gratefully suspected that it was due to Tikki.

Why could she feel again?

Because there, in the first page, was a picture of her and Adrien and Alya and Nino goofing off at the table as they played uno with their hoodies on. All of them were laughing and smiling. 

Marinette recognized this moment, remembered Adrien always asking for another round, another try.

She turned the page and more happy moments appeared before her. 

Sometimes one of her parents would be in the picture, or Alya and Nino because they had decided to visit, but there was always either her or Adrien in every single one.

Nino with his tongue out as he raced Adrien in Mario Kart, both of them moving their entire bodies as if that could somehow make them turn more.

A round of BS on the floor of the living room, Alya and Nino teasing Marinette.

Alya pleading Marinette to be careful as she put the orange and white hoodie into the wash.

Tom laughing as flour blasted from the blender because Adrien forgot to put the lid on.

All four of them fast asleep on the couches, snuggling one another, a movie going in the background.

Marinette quietly comforting Adrien as he cried into her shoulder.

Marinette hiding behind her hands with a bright red face as Sabine told Adrien all about what she was like when she was younger.

Adrien sitting before the bathroom door, looking every bit the lost kitten as he waited for Marinette to come out. 

Marinette wearing a camisole, looking over her shoulder to see if she could find more ink stains, Adrien looking just the slightest bit regretful as he pointed out the new ones.

Their first batch of brownies set on the table, Alya, Nino, Tom, and herself laughing as Adrien scrunched his face with distaste. Those had been the ones they’d burned a little.

The pictures went on and on.

Some were of the time during school.

Everyone in the class piled into the blanket fort. She wondered how her mother had gotten a picture of that and realized it must have been from Mlle Bustier.

Marinette working on and assignment as Adrien slept away in her lap, her hands in his hair.

Adrien curled protectively around Marinette in one of the pillow caves.

Marinette holding Adrien close out in the park.

There were so many pictures despite them only coming from just over a month’s worth of time, all of them such warm memories.

The last one before a series of blank pages had a picture of Adrien at the table, Marinette turned to Alya. He seemed to be scribbling something down as fast as he could, watching for Marinette so that she didn’t see him writing. She knew that must have been the case because she didn’t remember him writing anything at the table before.

On the next page was a small piece of paper with blue ink in Adrien’s neat penmanship.

“ _Thank you so much for everything Marinette. It means an awful lot to me that I’ve been accepted here and it’s all thanks to your hard work. I’ve had such an amazing time being able to stay here. I heard Sabine talking about a scrapbook, so I’m writing this for that. You’re likely reading it now in that very same scrapbook._ ” the lines started to shake a little, “ _I’m a bit nervous, because even though I was so flamboyant with Ladybug, I’ve never fallen this hard before, so writing what I’m about to say is somehow making me a nervous wreck, but here I go._ _  
_ _I love you Marinette._

_I love you so much more than I ever thought was possible._

_You’ve always been kind and responsible to everyone, but you’ve given so much for me without asking anything in return and it’s incredible to see how strong you are. Just by watching you I feel as if I can do anything. You light up the world around you with ease and you always seem to have this gravity._

_You’re smart and beautiful too, you’re so amazing I feel like you’re way out of my league, but I swear to love you with all my heart. Would you please give me yours as well_?” 

Marinette was hiccupping now, her tears all clear, and she gently pulled her hand from Adrien’s cold one, bringing the scrapbook close to her chest. 

Small giggles spilled unbidden from her lips as she continued to cry. 

Silly silly _Chaton,_ he already had her heart. It was incredible that he thought she was out of _his_ league.

She looked at her parents, a small smile on her lips even as more tears continued to come forth, these ones disappearing into small sparks before they could even hit the ground, floating up to the sky, reilluminating the dark night. 

“Thank you.”

Love overflowed from Marinette’s heart.

 _I love him_ , she thinks. _I love him so much._

And it’s not hard to be swept off her feet. 

She blinks because the room around her has disappeared and the scrapbook falls from her arms and vanishes.

She’s falling now but she doesn’t know where she’s falling to because nothing’s here, there’s nothing around her, but she reaches out and grasps for something anyways. She thinks of his hands, larger than her own, and far warmer too, they keep her from freezing in the winter. She thinks of his hair, it’s soft, golden craziness and how when he has those black cat ears on, it refuses to be tamed, and it shouldn’t be, because it’s like locks of the very sun. She thinks of his chest, broad and lanky, but always there for her to lean on and be protected. She thinks of his legs that always find her, always come running to anyone’s rescue and especially hers. Finally she thinks of his eyes, green and beautiful like emeralds glistening in soft light whenever their gaze is on her, the pupils dilating and pricking when he’s her _Chaton_. The eyes that shine even with tears of black night. 

She thinks of all those pictures in the scrapbook, thinks of everything that’s happened within the past month or so and all those happy memories she shared with him and Alya and Nino despite the terrible things they were going through.

Then it’s like it was in the beginning of all this madness, she can hear his heart. 

She’s still not sure where she is, still not sure where _he_ is, but she can hear it, and she grabs onto the made connection and pulls and suddenly she’s standing behind Jack in some sort of grove, her suit on despite not remembering when she could possibly have called for her transformation, and despite all the flames Jack holds, Ladybug knows which one is hers. 

She reaches out, carefully, and the blue flame warms her with acknowledgement. 

It travels up her arm, dancing as if in celebration of having been retrieved, and then it dives into her chest, causing it to glow with a cool blue light. 

Feeling something pull from within, one of the strongest sources of power she has leaving her, Jack turned around and was surprised, because there was Ladybug and she didn’t know when the heroine had arrived. Then she realized what exactly had just happened.

Jack is staring at her in shock and awe now, because that shouldn’t be able to happen and yet it just did. She can’t even begin to think more on how one of the strongest souls in her arsenal was just stolen she’s just that surprised. 

Ladybug’s body felt strange. Not bad, but weird, and when she looked down, she found her torso similar to Jack’s, a lantern of sorts, her middle transparent like glass or bubbles, and her new suit is changing once again, her torso that looked as if it had been placed in a corset before now had panels here and there of the glassy material. What had been black before was now cold metal. 

Honestly, her torso looked like a wrought iron lantern.

More blue flames jump within Jack, eager to run to this new lantern, especially a specific two that Ladybug recognized quite well.

Ladybug stretched her hand forward again, bringing it close to Jack and Alya and Nino leap from the lantern of roots, running up Ladybug’s arm and finding a place near Adrien.

Excited by this new development, more blue flames leapt for Ladybug’s outstretched and welcoming arms. Even if they _had_ been comfortable with Jack, there was always something slightly off, leaving the souls the slightest bit uneasy, because even though it was relatively comfortable, they didn’t feel as if they’d been properly cared for.

Jack’s lantern felt cold and dark, it felt like being lost, but Ladybug’s lantern felt warm and safe, familiar and like a warmly lit home in the middle of a dank and foreboding forest or a lighthouse after being out in the stormy sea, waves threatening to break you at any moment.

With Ladybug, they were sure they would be able to rest, sure that they would be protected, not used.

They leapt one after the other, rushing into Ladybug and filling her with strength she’d never felt before. They moved so fast that Jack couldn’t pull away quick enough, leaving her with only a few souls that cried desperately to be free and the pain from their pleas stabbed into Jack viciously, but she wouldn’t let them go, no, she _needed_ them. They couldn’t leave her. Roots grew within her and wrapped tightly around the souls left, not allowing them to move a single bit.

She still had the Miraculous of Destruction and Transmission, she could beat Ladybug and get her souls back. Plus, though she was reluctant to use the disgusting thing, she still had Gabriel too. He had as much power as Rena or Carapace and with how broken he is, she could likely bend him easily, use him for all he’s worth.

Jack-o-lantern glared at Ladybug.

They, the fires that could not exist without a vassal, chose Ladybug and they stayed within her lantern, casting a new and strange warmth within her, but Adrien stayed beside her heart, hidden there where he couldn’t be seen, and nobody dared encroach.

<◉>

Adrien had been wandering for so long now. He felt so tired, but he couldn’t stop, not until he found what he had lost. It wasn’t safe, he couldn’t rest.

He came across two familiar flames, one giving him the feeling of spice, the other one chill like cool water from a bubbling stream. They were huddled close together, but when he reached them, they drew to him too.

Words filled his mind.

_She’s coming._

_She’ll save us._

_If anyone can do it, she can._

He wasn’t quite sure of their meaning, but he had a feeling that it had to do with what he had lost.

These people knew what he was looking for.

It’d be best to stay with them then.

But he could not deny the need to wander, so he pulled them along on his journey. They did not protest.

Finally, after a great amount of time, he felt something pull on him. It was familiar and safe, it was warm and important. Something was coming. Something wanted him, and he was sure he wanted it too, so he pulled back, drawing them closer and closer until finally…

Warmth and happiness flared through him, he knows her! This is what he was looking for! It was her! He knew that if he had a proper face, his cheeks would hurt with how much he was smiling.

He reached for the hand of the one he knew, the one who loved him and he loved back, the one that held the world on her shoulders and always welcomed him.

He recognized the marks he had left on her, the ones she accepted despite his attempts to stop them. He recognized the black that wrapped gently around her heart and buried himself there, the closest he could get to her. 

He felt Alya and Nino leap after him, joining him as they rejoiced and were followed by everyone else.

Alya and Nino didn’t near his beloved’s heart like he had, as that was _his_ place, but they stayed close, still as huddled together as two flames could be. 

The new lantern was filled with noise, the soft chatter of voices as the flames talked amongst themselves. The very opposite of the echoing darkness of the previous lantern. They loved it here, it was far nicer than Jack’s. Here they were safe, and they started to settle down.

They could rest here, and eventually they could go home. Everyone offered Ladybug their strength, the strength that had been forcefully taken from them by Jack and had been misused. Ladybug would use it properly, would use their strength for them and their happiness. 

Then the rest of their friends, the ones that couldn’t leave Jack in time, could join them as well.

<◉>

Plagg wasn’t sure what was going on outside but he knew he didn’t like it. 

His kitten had transformed like normal.

He knew Adrien was struggling a little but he’s struggled plenty of times before and in the end was always able to beat the new enemy.

Except… this time he didn’t.

Plagg felt the terribly familiar feeling of his kid slipping away, his life leaving him, their bond breaking. 

He panicked.

Nonononono, Adrien couldn’t die here! Not now! Not for several more decades and if he’s lucky enough, maybe not ever! 

Out of every one of his charges, he’d never had someone as amazing as Adrien, never had someone be able to connect to his energy so well, and likely never would again. If he was lucky, Adrien wouldn’t have to leave, wouldn’t have to die, and would truly become his incarnate, his permanent one that he’d been waiting millenia for.

He _had_ to do something to save the kid. He wasn’t sure what, he’d always felt this way when one of his charges was fading but no matter how many times he experienced the devastating pain he felt when they were gone, he’d never once been able to change anything.

Before he could think of something, his charge’s light was gone, just like all those many times before, and the sadness, the guilt, the grief, the pain, it swallowed him whole and left him immobilized. He’d gone through this with Adrien before when he burned to death, that time he’d gone with Adrien, his ring being destroyed in the flames, and his kid had died several other times before but it never felt… _permanent_ like this. However, this time, it was far worse than before, far worse than he’d ever felt and he was sure that when he finally pulled himself together enough to pull himself out of the Miraculous, instead of going back to the Guardian, he was going to completely destroy the world. It wouldn’t just be one city like with Atlantis, it’d be the whole damn earth, because nobody was going to take his kitten away from him, not this time, not ever again, and he didn’t care if his sugarcube was upset with him later, she could make another world if she wanted one so badly, though he doubted she’d be any less upset to lose her own charge this time either.

These two were the best users they’d ever had and Tikki knew as well as he did that there wouldn’t be anyone better out there after this.   
Tikki had been so excited with how easily Marinette had accessed her powers in the past month, especially when she wasn’t using them because the girl was sad.

Just as fast as the pain came did it recede as he felt himself pulled from his kid’s body and placed against another, but within this body, Adrien was there. 

Adrien was still here.

He wasn’t quite dead yet.

Plagg felt around, noticing that despite all the souls, none of them were Pigtails, which meant she could come save his kitten.

He just had to be patient.

He could do that. 

He was a kwami after all, he’s had to be far more patient than he ever really liked.

So he hunkered down and waited, but then his connection to Adrien was being abused. 

Someone not Adrien was using his powers through the mere fact that Adrien’s soul resided in their body and Plagg didn’t really like it. It left him feeling unclean and disgusting.

It made him want to lick himself clean and he wasn’t even a proper cat, but that would be even grosser because then the disgusting feeling would be on his tongue, the precious organ he uses to taste his delectable camembert! So maybe he’d jump into the shower with his kid when they finally get home. Then he’ll rub himself all over Adrien’s clothes.

Plagg nodded, that was a good plan.

He felt another tug at his powers and felt gross all over again, squirming in his ring with the strong desire to scratch at something.

He prayed Tikki’s bug was quick because he wasn’t sure how much more he could handle being used like this.

Despite his hope that Pigtails would come soon, he was left to sit in his ring for far longer than he appreciated. He didn’t even stay in his ring this long when he was in the Miracle Box! He could always hang out with all the others instead! But he was stuck in here all alone and it sucked, even if whoever was using him had stopped since the first two times.

He still felt kinda gross, like hands had touched him all over and it was very unpleasant. He was starting to understand how his kid was feeling when he talked about the more annoying female models and fans.

Plagg wondered how much longer he’d have to be stuck in here when Adrien’s soul was gone. It had been there moments before and now it was gone.

Plagg was about to start panicking again when he could feel his kitten’s soul flickering just a bit away from where he was, which meant that Pigtails finally came to save them!

In other words, he didn’t have to stay in here! Now that Adrien was gone, nothing was tying him down here.

Tiredly, he vacated his ring.

He was a lot more exhausted than he thought but he supposed when you went on an emotional rollercoaster like the one he’d been on with Adrien dying suddenly and then having his powers used when he didn’t want them to be, you ought to be tired.

<◉>

Ladybug could feel the way the souls shifted and settled within her.

It was a funny feeling for sure, but she didn’t mind it because as each one settled, a buzz of strength filled her veins, promising that she would be able to save everyone else too.

Her heart felt full with Adrien there beside it. 

She’d finally gotten him back.

Her thoughts on her new form and powers were disrupted when there was a dull flash of green and a blur of grey shot out of Jack’s chest, zooming straight for Ladybug.

She caught the small thing after it bounced off her own chest before it could fall to the ground, not sure if she knew what it was that just came after her as what she thinks it might be is supposed to be black.

In her hands was exactly what she expected it to be, but she started to worry, because though Plagg had just come out of the ring, he was entirely grey, even his green eyes. He shivered a little in her hand before looking up at her. 

He brought his paws to his face and his small face twisted in disgust. “Blegh.” he said and shivered again. “Gross. So, so gross.” 

Then he looked back up again and met Ladybug’s eyes before looking towards the glow beside her heart. He floated tiredly to it and nuzzled the spot of blue that seeped through her skin, knowing his kit was in there.

Plagg could feel the marks of ink hidden behind the suit created by Tikki and was drawn to them. He stuck close to Pigtails’s heart but decide to perch on her shoulder so he wouldn’t have to float when he barely had the power to do so. He nuzzled the marks his kid had left on her, the marks she accepted, and felt some of his power return to him. Just a little. 

It felt incredibly nice to be with not only his kid, but Tikki and her bug. It was so much nicer than being stuck in that stupid akuma, and so he couldn’t help himself when he curled up contentedly in the crook of Ladybug’s neck. 

Creation moved about him, wrapping him up a little, and Plagg didn’t feel the need to go get rid of the feeling of being touched without his consent, because being with Tikki was a lot better than taking a shower and washing it all away.

The feel of Plagg purring against her neck made Marinette’s heart stutter in a way as it reminded her of her own kitty, the one beside her heart. Ladybug could feel the magic of Creation that covered her move again and when she lifted her hand to touch where Plagg was, her fingers met her hair. It had grown a bit longer than before, and enveloped the small God of Destruction. 

Ladybug was absolutely sure that the hair would not move during battle though she didn’t know why she was so positive about it. For now though, she needed to get the kwami’s ring back, retrieve the rest of the souls, and purify the akuma.

Ladybug gathered her bearings and checked on her current situation.

She had previously thought she was in a grove but on second look, she found herself in a greenhouse, pleasantly lit by the lights outside it’s fogged glass. Jack was hunching away from her, her mouth cut open and snarling at her, unhappy that not only were her souls taken from her, but so was the power of destruction. She had one hand on a small, grey bird cage of roots and the other closed in a fist around something.

Behind her, a green body similar to Jack’s but larger and masculine sitting on a table, slumped just a little and half incomplete. 

Though it seemed to be of great importance to Jack-o-lantern, she wasn’t extremely protective of it.

Jack wasn’t stupid, she knew she was a lot weaker and having something to defend was a weakness that was just asking to be used against her. Besides, Anthony’s new body didn’t have any life to it, it was just a body, and if she had to, she could abandon it so long as she could live another day. Besides, if she escaped at the expense of the unfinished body, she could somehow make another one eventually, she just had to get more souls.

To get away from Ladybug now though, she needed some more energy, she needed some of those souls back.

Jack-o-lantern charged, bringing her fist up to punch Ladybug in the gut and get a hand in her lantern, but when she finally hit the glass, her fist bounced off harmlessly, her fingers stinging. 

Damn glass.

Ladybug had startled when Jack rushed her which was stupid because she was supposed to be paying attention to the enemy so she chided herself and braced for impact only to feel none.

When she looked down for the reason why, she remembered, _oh yeah, I’m a lantern now_ and found great pleasure in the fact that she no longer had organs that could be used against her and her glass was strong enough to keep Jack away and the souls safe. 

Jack was about to jump away when Ladybug realized that she was close, close enough that she could possibly tear the ring from Jack’s chest.

She’d barely even thought to do the action when her hand shot out and with an unnatural speed and ease, swiftly stole Adrien’s ring away.

When she looked down at her hands again, she’d already slid the white ring on. 

Jack had yet to notice when she landed a few feet back but Ladybug didn’t care for she was staring at her hand in awe.

She’d never felt so in control of herself before. Her skin felt so perfect on her, as if before, it wasn’t on quite right. 

Her body moved like a well oiled machine, answering instinctively before her thoughts or plans ever became truly conscious. 

She stretched and flexed her fingers in raw amazement. Is this what it’s like having so much power? 

It was a nice feeling of course, but she made sure to not abuse it, it was only because of those souls she was protecting and Tikki’s power that she was able to do this and so she was grateful. She would not dare abuse what she was gifted.

When Jack landed on her feet, she began to freak out. 

_Crap crap crap, holy freaking crap, she’s got the souls now so she’s stupidly strong and she somehow grabbed the freaking Miraculous!_ She needed to get out of here, to run and get more power because there was _no way_ she was going to be able to fight against the heroine now. 

With a final, regretful glance at the half finished body of Anthony, she burst through the greenhouse, shattering one of ceiling’s panels.

Ladybug looked up and realized what the akuma was planning. Within quarter seconds, she too was launching out of the greenhouse, through Jack’s hole so she didn’t make another, and was hopping the rooves after the akuma.

Jack looked back frightened before turning around, looking for places with lights so that she could go in and get more power but most of the lights in the area were off so she didn’t know if they were because there were no longer people alive in there or if maybe they’d gone to bed already.

A yoyo swung out to hit Jack and she was only barely able to dodge before finally dropping down into a lit house and stealing the residents’ souls. 

More strength filled Jack and she sighed in relief, but then she felt a bunch of souls approaching where she was at in an easy pace and new that Ladybug was coming.

Quickly, she jumped out the window and back into the night and was almost immediately faced with Ladybug, who was looking at her with a very unimpressed look.

Jack bit back the injustice and rage welling in her. 

What was she _supposed_ to do?! This was her power! 

She didn’t _like_ taking the lives of so many people but she knew you always had to pay a price for what you do and it just so happened that this was hers! 

She didn’t care if she had to deal with these sins weighing on her back, so long as Anthony came back. Nothing else mattered. She just wanted Anthony back.

Then there was _her!_

 _Her_ with her power and justice and ability to get back what she wanted! Here she was _happy_ when she hadn’t even been able to bring Anthony back!

She resisted growling, she resisted the tears that built, she _would not_ give her the satisfaction.

They were launched into a battle.

Ladybug with her yoyo and speed, her reflexes and strength.

Jack-o-lantern with her vines and roots.

Jack had always been fast, but without as much souls backing her, she was slower, and now Ladybug had that power, that speed, that strength.

It was so unfair!

Why couldn’t _Jack_ get back what she had lost?

Why was it the only goody two shoes heroes?

Despite the ball of negativity growing, Jack fought, even as she knew and understood that she couldn’t win, she still fought, because what else was she to do?

Jack desperately pulled roots from the ground, grew several whips, and aimed for Ladybug, but Ladybug was _dancing_ through the thorns, totally unfazed by the chaos around her, but she didn’t near Jack, not yet.

A pit had formed in Ladybug’s currently nonexistent stomach and her chest ached as she watched the akumatized girl before her.

She didn’t understand why, but the girl was familiar and was desperate, incredibly desperate. She wanted to know why that was. What kind of incentive could she have to make her go this far? To cause her the anguish she was desperately trying to hide?

Jack was slowing, getting tired as Ladybug constantly evaded. More and more roots were hit away and didn’t get back up, just laying limply from where they connected to the ground. Still, Ladybug did not get closer.

She didn’t know what would happen if she tried and she didn’t even know where the akuma was.

In her desperation, Jack looked to Gabriel Agreste’s soul where it still sat broken in it’s cage at her side, and for a moment, just a moment, she wanted to use it, to use the bastard till he disappeared, to bend him and use him for everything that he was, but then she realized with a start, that this wasn’t her. This wasn’t she wanted. She’d already gotten revenge, all she wanted now was to get Anthony back, not make others _suffer._ She didn’t want to become a monster.

Finally, Jack fell to her knees, her few remaining roots and vines falling with her, tears slipping from her eyes that were closed in frustration and defeat. She wept at being unable to do as she had wished, being unable to bring back Anthony after all she’d done.

Ladybug was wary at first, but when the tears fell, some catching in the holes of Jack’s cheeks, and she saw just how frustrated, how upset the akuma was, she neared.

Jack-o-lantern did nothing, even when Ladybug was standing before her. Really, she couldn’t do anything even if she had wanted to, she was powerless before the incarnate of creation.

She slammed her fist against the roof below her, “ _Damn it!_ ” She shouted.

Her breath came in hiccuping stutters that showed through in her voice and Jack made no attempt to hide them. “Why?” She brought her hands up to look at them, cut and bruised, blue seeping out in drops instead of blood, one of her leaves were completely torn off. “Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I beat you and bring him back?” 

“Bring who back?” Ladybug questioned softly.

Jack looked up at her with the most defeated look, “My brother.”

Ladybug didn’t really know what to say, she now knew Jack’s motivations, but still hadn’t a clue on how to help. After all, she could only on special occasion bring back the dead and that was always when they were caught in an attack and seeing how Jack was still mourning over him, the boy was not killed in an attack.

Without words, without anything to say, she simply kneeled down and put a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

Jack brought her cut hands to her face and cried into them. Blue glowing tears fell from her eyes, each one seeped into Ladybug when they touched her arm. They too seemed to hold the strength of souls. Ladybug could feel the glow within her grow as she absorbed the tears.

“I’m sorry.” Jack sobbed out. “I’m so sorry!”

“What are you sorry for?” There were lots of things she could be apologizing for.

“I’m sor-sorry for t-taking hi-him, for hur-hurting you b-both. It’s- its just that I was-was bit-bit-ter. Because if he had d-died only s-seconds la-later, he might have li-lived.” It was such a paradoxical statement that it stuck out. And then the familiarity made sense.

“Twenty Die.” She breathed without meaning to and Jack looked up with hurt eyes, “So you know then.”  
Ladybug nodded numbly. She had glanced over the smaller news channels and had seen the coverage of a boy who died while attempting to help the girl who was akumatized into Twenty Die. The terrible reporters had pushed and pushed to have an interview with the boy’s friend, going as far as trailing the poor girl despite how harshly she was taking the death. Neither the boy’s name or his friend’s was ever released, but Ladybug remembered Jaquelyn from her glimpse. 

She had been dismayed to know what happened.

“I’m so sorry.” Ladybug was now the one apologizing, “I wish it hadn’t happened, I wish that my powers had worked on him too.” After hearing of the story, anybody hurt as someone was being akumatized was included in her Miracle Cure, but it was a terrible thing that it had taken someone’s death to bring that about.

Jack glanced at her, and sniffed, turning away, as if not accepting the apology which was completely reasonable, but then her petals wilted a little and she looked back down at her lap. “I know it’s not your fault. It’s all that bastard’s-” she spit, then sighed, “I tried not to hold it against you, but it was still so unfair.” Ladybug nodded.

“That’s reasonable, when you’re hurt, it’s hard to not blame someone.” At her words, Jack’s head whipped up to look at Ladybug, eyes searching for something. She laughed a little in disbelief, the sound a bit broken, when she found only sincerity. “I just did all that crap, hurting you and killing all those people, and tell you that you might be a small factor to it and you just say it’s reasonable. Unbelievable.” She huffed.

“Well you’re not wrong in being upset and everyone is entitled to a little time in which they can just be mad at the world so long as you eventually get up, but that doesn’t mean it has to be immediately. It’s not like you can just drop the entire matter and go back to your daily life. Not when they were so important to you.” Ladybug explained. She knew quite well the pain of watching someone die before you. He had even lived after that and she was still so broken from it. 

Jack turned back to her hands, “I’m still sorry.” 

Ladybug nodded with a smile, “Good, that means you have a good head about you if you feel bad after doing what you did.” Jack laughed a little at that.

Ladybug offered the akuma a hand up. Jack looked at it, and only after a moment of hesitation, took it.

Once she was up, Jack brushed off her skirt, then sighed. “Well, I suppose it’s time to let these powers go and have you purify me.” The roots inside her released the souls she’d managed to keep and take, they eagerly jumped from her to Ladybug.

Jack then bowed her head so that Ladybug’s vision was filled with chrysanthemum petals. “It’s inside,” she said, “The akuma.”

Ladybug hesitantly reached into the petals. Her fingers brushed against something solid and cool and so she grabbed it.

When she brought it out, she was confused, because in her hand was a silver chrysanthemum pendant on a thin silver chain. Jack laughed at her bewilderment and smiled at the item.

“He was originally British you see, and in Britain, the chrysanthemum has a very different meaning. There, they do not symbolize death, but rather happiness and longevity. Quite the opposite to us, don’t you think? Anyways,” she nodded at the pendant, “that one there is supposed to be a white chrysanthemum. It means loyalty and devoted love.” She looked up at Ladybug with a saddened smile, “It was his promise to stay friends forever. I placed it in a pot of yellow chrysanthemums and brought it to his grave yesterday. Yellow cause he left me here and broke our promise. Yellow means sorrow and neglected love if you were wondering. _Though it wasn’t really his fault he broke it though._ ” She muttered that last bit.

Jack was no longer looking at her, instead gazing off into the distance.

Ladybug stared at the beautiful pendant in her hand. 

She didn’t want to break it.

But she had to to purify the akuma and it’d come back afterward.

Just as she was about to smash it in her hands, Jack spoke again.

“Oh right, I forgot about this.” When Ladybug looked up, she was handed a small birdcage with a blue flame that flickered dimly and a purple brooch with four grey points that she recognized instantly. “Left the bastard dead in a puddle of his own blood.”

She looked up shocked, “Who was he?”

Jack spat before muttering, “Gabriel Agreste.”  
Ladybug tried very hard to fight the grim satisfaction that came with that knowledge. He got what was coming for him. Really, she shouldn’t be holding such a grudge, but she couldn’t help it knowing how terrible he was and her lips quirked up a little despite her fighting them. She honestly wanted to tear into him herself so to hear that he was punished felt a terrible satisfaction. It seemed Plagg shared the same thought as her and purred against her neck in pleasure.

Jack pointed at the soul, “The cage gave him some sort of nightmare. Don’t know what it was, but he was cowed within minutes so it must’ve been bad.”

Ladybug nodded.

Jack thought a bit more before saying, “Alright, that’s about it I think.”

Ladybug crushed the chrysanthemum pendant with no small amount of regret. The akuma appeared as Jack’s form started to fall away in bubbles that were, surprisingly, white and not the normal deep purple. 

Ladybug caught the akuma, but before she opened her yoyo again, she turned to Jack.

“What was his name?”

Jack-o-lantern smiled one final smile before she disappeared. “Anthony. Anthony, because he was priceless.”

The light faded, leaving only the form of a girl in her early twenties, possibly 20 or 21, with bob length maple brown hair. 

The girl was about to fall over, having yet to open her eyes, when Ladybug caught her.

Jaquelyn, it appeared, was too tired to do much else but pass out after losing her powers.

Ladybug released the akuma and watched as it flew away to wherever they always went and was about to throw her yoyo into the air when she felt something thrum within her other hand, the one that still held the remains of the chrysanthemum pendant and Jaquelyn.

She looked down at what was making the sensation and saw that from the remains there was a blue glow.

It shined briefly before slipping into Ladybug’s skin.

She felt it travel through her arm and to her lantern and felt more strength within.

Ladybug blinked in curiosity.

She thought she’d grabbed all the souls aside from Gabriel’s. 

Then words echoed in her mind, the voice familiar.

_Adrien._

“What is it? What’s wrong Adrien?” she breathed.

_“It’s Anthony.”_

Suddenly it felt as if her heart was in her throat.

“That was Anthony?” she asked, somewhat afraid of the answer.

_“Yes.”_

All her breath left her in a whoosh. What was she to do now? All the souls had bodies to go back to once she cast the cure.

_“He said that he kept his promise.”_

Ladybug found that she now wanted to cry. Anthony hadn’t left. He’d stayed with Jaquelyn the entire time.

She had to fix this. Had to set things right, but how? There is always an exchange when using powers.

 _Not this time._

Tikki’s voice echoed through her mind. She felt Plagg shudder against her and somehow knew that he’d heard her too.

“Why?”

There was hesitance, as if Tikki wasn’t sure she wanted to say.

Plagg grumbled. “Just say it sugarcube.”

Tikki sighed in exasperation but Ladybug could still feel the fondness that radiated from her.

_One: the actions of Hawkmoth have always been an exchange for bringing back those who have died and fixing the destruction left, so he should be able to come back as he only died due to trying to help a girl when she was being akumatized and not for natural reasons. Otherwise, everyone who died, everything that was destroyed, wouldn’t have been fixed._

Ladybug had never actually thought about it before. She was using the powers of the gods and such things always had an exchange, and yet she’d never had to deal with it before. It now made a lot of sense. So why had Tikki said “one?”

_Two: you are currently the temporary incarnate of creation, however, you have the ability to become more. You have the ability to become the permanent incarnate._

Ladybug straightened at that. She’d never heard of such a thing before.

_What that entails is that I will leave the Miraculous and reside within you, ridding you of your humanity and giving me the ability to exist in a proper body. Basically you split your humanity with me and I share my deity with you. You didn’t need such a reason to help Anthony this time, however had it been a normal death, if you truly wanted, you could use the powers of creation, but Plagg would have had to create a proper amount of bad luck to spread across the city so that no one person took the brunt of it in order to counter the use of creation._

Ladybug considered the information. It sounded amazing and all as she never really wanted to part with Tikki nor did she want to leave the mini goddess behind, but why was Tikki telling her this now? She asked.

_Adrien died just yesterday, and you’ve been closely followed by death’s hand this past month. I felt it was relevant._

Tikki didn’t mention how she too worried over losing Marinette within the past 24 hours, but Ladybug understood.

“So, what would happen regarding my humanity?” She asked.

_What do you mean?_

“Well if I lose my humanity, do I stop aging? Continue aging but stop at some point? Would I end up outliving my parents?”

Tikki was strangely quiet for a moment or two before stating, _I am not quite sure myself, but for your convenience, I believe you will still grow now, however, if you become my incarnate later, when you’ve finished maturing, you will not age any further._

She did not answer her last question, so Ladybug assumed the answer. It was rather quite obvious, she was always bound to outlive them should she not fall to an accident or something, but that also meant that she would outlive everyone else around her and she should have expected that.

After a moment of silence as Tikki let that sink in, she spoke. _Adrien also has this choice with Plagg._

Somehow, the thought that if she _did_ choose to become the proper incarnate, which she felt that she most likely would, she would not be alone nor would she outlive Adrien. That would devastate her and the past month or so was a testament to that.

 _“I’d have to think about it.”_ Adrien responded from within.

“Take your time,” Plagg said, “As long as you’re not running out of it or at death’s door.”

A spike of guilt pierced Ladybug’s heart that she assumed was from Adrien and by the way Plagg tensed, he felt it too and seemed to realize the implications of what he said.

Because he tensed, Ladybug decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he _had not_ meant to possibly guilt trip Adrien into choosing celestial glory.

“It’s alright kid,” he was quick to assure, “You’ve got time, I’ve got time, you can afford to wait before you make a decision.”

Ladybug felt understanding from within and she couldn’t help but wonder _how the heck_ he was doing that. Probably because his soul was within her, but then why didn’t she feel any of the others’ emotions?

The souls began to shift in their places from within her and she remembered that, “oh yeah, haven’t cast Miraculous Cure yet.”

She stuck the Butterfly Miraculous on as she had nowhere else to put it, and slipped the bird cage onto a small piece of metal that curled out from her lantern, imitating Jack-o-lantern’s way of keeping it, to clear her hands.

Quickly she threw her yoyo to the sky, “Miraculous Ladybug!” 

The world was full of pink and red light as ladybugs swept across the city of Paris before coming back and accumulating into a ball of brilliance.

The light flashed outwards in a burst and Ladybug only had a few moments to react before a body was falling from the sky where the light had been.

She dashed forward, fixed necklace and Jaquelyn in one arm, the other outstretched to catch the boy with caramel hair.

Ladybug sighed in relief when she was able to get to him in time. 

The boy -Anthony, she assumed- was wearing a grey hoodie and jeans, and looked to be quite a bit taller than her, taller than even Nino and he was the tallest in her friend group. Despite being a large young man, Ladybug had no problem with carrying him and silently thanked her super strength once again.

Anthony was warm and breathing, so that was a relief, that meant her powers had worked.

Now, she just had to get these two back to their homes and head to her own before Adrien woke up.

She didn’t know where Jaquelyn and Anthony lived, but then something came to mind and somehow she knew the address.

Ladybug didn’t question it in her rush. 

It was only when she arrived at a singular apartment did she actually stop to think how the heck she knew where they lived and that they lived in the same apartment.

Something stirred within and she looked down, belatedly realizing that she had yet to stop being a lantern and still had many, _many_ souls within her. 

Ladybug almost dropped Jaquelyn and Anthony in her surprise, but somehow managed to pull herself together enough to realize that she needed to get them inside before she starts worrying about what to do.

She slid the balcony door open and propped the two friends up on their couch in what looked to be a living room with a kitchen and dining table.

Now that she no longer had humans in hand, her arms started to flail as she freaked out. 

“HOly CrAP! I still have the souls! Why do I still have the souls????? I cast the Miraculous Cure!”  
She continued to screech although a bit quieter than usual so as to not disrupt the neighbors until a familiar voice bubbled up from within her, _“Calm down, Marinette, just think for a second. I’m sure there’s a reason.”_

Ladybug took a few breaths in to calm herself, “Yeah, okay, I’m calm now, but why didn’t the cure work?”

 _“Well, it_ did _work seeing as how Anthony’s body is alive though he is still not in it, that’s likely true for everyone else as well. I think you just need to open the door so everyone can leave.”_

“Door?” Ladybug looked down at herself and for the first time noticed that the front panel had hinges and a latch. “Oh.”

Ladybug brought her fingers to the latch, “Alright, let’s try it.”

She walked back to the balcony and stepped out before opening the small panel.

In a rush, all the souls poured from her and flew off to their respective bodies, resembling her Miraculous Cure in the way the blue flames moved and fluctuated above the city.

Only four souls were left when Ladybug looked back down at herself.

Adrien, Alya, Nino, and Anthony, her mind clarified, and she realized that she had somehow just taken inventory of _souls._

She still couldn’t quite believe everything that had happened within the past 24 hours. 

With a tired sigh, she went back into the apartment, not bothering to shut her now open lantern, because why bother if they’re the ones that decided to stay inside?

She neared Anthony’s body and yet he floated somewhat hesitantly just before the door, as if he wasn’t sure if he could go.

 _“This isn’t a dream right?”_ a new voice whispered, a tenor with a slight husk like he hadn’t spoken in a very long time. Ladybug knows it must be Anthony.

A chorus of denials that no, this is not a dream, rise up from her friends and it is such a _wonderful_ thing to hear them all. She wonders if perhaps she can hear them now that the cacophony of other voices have gone. 

Slowly, Anthony floats from Ladybug and sinks into his own chest. His breath hitches and his body shudders at the new heaviness of once again being inhabited. He does not wake however, too tired to do such a thing just yet.

So Ladybug places the chrysanthemum necklace against Jaquelyn’s neck and writes a note to the two should Anthony no longer remember what happened. She wasn’t sure if Jaquelyn would, it was possible as she was a highly unusual akuma, but it was highly unlikely.

She gave a brief explanation over what happened to Jaquelyn and how come Anthony was alive again. She left a lot out of course, merely saying that he came back when she used the Cure this time.

She shut the door to her lantern and was off. Now that she knew Adrien, Alya, and Nino wouldn’t wake up while she was gone, same with Gabriel, she went in search of his dead body.

Though it took some time, Ladybug finally came across a blur of white on a random rooftop, a now warm body lying in a heap. There was no sign of what Jack might have done to him and she felt just a little curious but felt it was best she didn’t know.

She was right thinking that in hindsight, but at that moment, Ladybug was wondering how she was going to turn the man in since he wasn’t defeated publicly. She may have a lot of authority and influence, but she still doubted that just her word would be enough to name him Hawkmoth to the masses.

There was also the social drawbacks for Adrien. It would likely help if they brought his abuse to the table but how could they do that? There was no true evidence aside from words. 

_“Cameras.”_

Oh. 

The Agreste Manor was full of security cameras.

Yeah that’d work well.

They’d likely also find his lair so that would work too.

Ladybug neared the man’s prone form, bird cage in hand.

She readied her yoyo and opened the small thing. The soul floated out slowly and stopped at one point near Gabriel’s chest for a moment before sinking into the skin.

Gabriel’s eyes slowly fluttered open and Ladybug prepared to fight him, but he didn’t move for a few moments like she thought he would. 

Gabriel didn’t quite know what was happening, but when he saw the dark sky speckled with lights above him and heard the shuffle of feet and breath near him, he realized with great horror that he could _see_ . He could _hear_. 

No, he didn’t wanna see. He didn’t wanna hear, because that meant destroying Emilie. He didn’t want that.

He didn’t want to do any of that.

Suddenly, Gabriel’s hands raised up and Ladybug thought perhaps he was finally making his move, only for him to start clawing at his eyes in great panic. 

He started to scream but it was not from pain, instead he cried out, “No! No! Don’t make me do that! No! I don’t want to see it again!”

Hastily, Ladybug lunged at the broken man before her and straddled him, holding his hands from his face before he could do more damage than scratching away at the skin like permanently ruining his eyes.

He screamed at her in protest, eyes filled with tears and suddenly she was feeling really bad for that vindictive pleasure and satisfaction earlier. She could feel how Adrien recoiled in response to how his father was acting. He may not have liked the man, but he certainly hadn’t wanted this.  
“Don’t look.” she pleaded, and hoped that somehow Adrien could stop seeing it.

Gabriel struggled weakly against her but could do nothing when she was not only in a magic suit but also still had three people empowering her and heavens how she was grateful for them despite how terrible it was that they had to see this too because Ladybug felt that she would have had a very hard time mentally dealing with this without them there.

Gabriel soon became limp beneath her, gaze void of any life or light, but still she did not get up for fear that perhaps it was a ruse.

His lips moved and formed words over and over that were too quiet for her to hear. 

Warily, she leaned down to hear him properly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t make me go back there. Please don’t make me do that again. Please, please, I am so sorry.” He muttered the same things over and over again mindlessly, causing Ladybug to look back at the birdcage in fear and terror.

Slowly, testing his reaction, Ladybug got off him. He still didn’t move.

Not until she was completely off at least.

His eyes shot to the edge of the roof with a frenzied gleam and he quickly scrambled up, running for the drop.

Shock ran through Ladybug but it did not slow her reaction time and her yoyo flew out, wrapping several times tightly around the older man and pulling him to a stop.

He began to screech, arms flailing, hands in fists, as he was only steps from the edge. “Let me die! Let me die!”

Ladybug didn’t know this man, he was far too different, and it frightened her.

What had happened? 

She didn’t think she truly wanted to know.

Instead, she reeled him in, pulling him away from the edge and he slumped in her grasp, broken in tears once again.

“Do what you want.” he finally sniffled, “Just don’t make me do _that_ again.”

She didn’t even _try_ to guess what ‘ _that’_ meant, and just nodded, bringing him to the police station.

She was just about to drop down with him when she realized that she still looked like a lantern with three blue glows coming from her and the last time they’d seen her, Jack was the one who had a lantern-like body with a bunch of blue flames and _many_ saw that.

Ladybug suddenly wished she had a cloak.

Like it’d read her freaking mind, a cloak, black as night with a small amount of red detailing billowed down around her from her neck.

Of course.

Ladybug already knew that the suits responded to their needs or wants seeing how Alya now had a tail, Nino now had reflectors, Adrien had a permanent hoodie on, she had more black in response to her ink stains, and now she was half metal and glass, but for some reason she hadn’t thought she’d get a cloak the moment she realized she’d likely need one.

With a huff, deciding she’d deal with this later, she dropped down to the police station’s doors and walked in.

She was met with surprised looks and wide eyes by the cops walking about, paperwork or coffee in hand, and the receptionists in the middle of the room.

Ladybug with a floor length cloak, holding Gabriel Agreste in her yoyo’s binding, a highly influential man, who looked not only frightened by everything, but as if he had been roughed up. 

None of them would know why he looked so bad, it’s just that despite what he had said earlier, he had tried _several_ times to jump off the damn rooves as they went along.

She pushed him forward roughly towards the frightened receptionists, far past her limit of dealing with bullcrap for the day. Everyone parted before her like Moses parting the Red Sea. 

“Get Raincomprix.” She said.

Only one of the two receptionists moved, the other still staring in open shock. The one that moved, placed a call, fixed something on her computer screen, then looked up and told Ladybug where to go.

The heroine nodded, and shuffled off to the room she was directed to, tugging along a reluctant Gabriel.

She noticed how his eyes always lingered on signs that led to the roof and the guns hanging on the belts of the police and sighed. Sometimes, he even eyed some sharper looking pens.

She turned a corner or two before reaching a room full of desks and computers. The room quieted. Despite the late hour, there were still many officers on duty and they all stared at the heroine they’d seen carrying her dead friends off to wherever they went, the day before.

Ladybug scanned the room and the connecting offices before alighting on the one she was looking for.

She walked to the door, occasionally readjusting her grip on Gabriel or redirecting him whenever he actually made an attempt for a gun on a close enough officer or scissors on a desk.

The actions of the fashion emperor scared the officers, and they shied away from him when they could. 

Instead of the ceo of a great company, they thought, he looked more like a man strapped into a straight jacket.

Ladybug didn’t bother knocking on the door, instead preferring to just kick it open with a bang.

Now the officers weren’t sure if they should be afraid of the crazed billionaire or the clearly frustrated Ladybug when she was usually quite patient and kind who had reigned him in.

Roger looked straight at Ladybug, not looking over to the feral Agreste in her grip and Ladybug gave him props for it.

“You were looking for me?”

Ladybug tossed Gabriel to the ginger man with a shove. “Here’s your Hawkmoth. Put some cuffs on him and lock him up before he kills himself. Check his house or something, I’m sure you’ll find some confirmation for that.” She turned to leave the flabbergasted officer, but looked back again for a moment, “Oh, and open a case regarding the treatment of his son. If you have a look at their security cameras, you’ll find enough evidence on abuse.” With that, she walked out of the office. Or rather, she would have, but she decided that she didn’t want to walk past all those officers again and instead turned to the window and jumped out.

Some swore that they saw a blue light from beneath the cloak when she jumped, but they couldn’t be sure and therefore dismissed the thought.

<◉>

Marinette crashed down into her room through her trapdoor, completely exhausted.

She sagged against her bed with a sigh, Plugg curling closer to her neck in hopes to not fall of yet, Tikki on the other side, then slumped a bit and got ready to get up because she still had yet to give her friends their souls back and despite releasing her transformation, found that she still had a lantern body. Around the edges of where it began and ended, there was a continuous stream of bubbles made of light, like the transformation had stopped fading there.

She climbed down her loft bed and noticed the kwamis she’d left behind.

Wayzz and Trixx were hovering about their charges in confusion. The ladybugs had come through and Nino and Alya were now very much alive, but they still couldn’t feel their connection to them.

Marinette tiredly opened her lantern. Alya and Nino returned to their bodies, having similar reactions as Anthony when he regained his soul.

The kwamis’ faces lit up with so much joy because the connection was back!

Marinette turned away from them to focus on Adrien, whose body was now warm and alive and she could have fallen with how relieved she was but she could still feel the remnants of power simmering within, she could still feel the energy Adrien gave her, and so her body remained upright and she was sure that she wouldn’t trip over anything at the moment.

That did not count stumbling though, and so she slowly walked forward, her lantern door still open. But Adrien did not leave yet. He stayed up close near her heart.

He had been silent ever since they’d found his father. She didn’t know if he could look away, but she knew that he still understood what was happening, regret and pain that was not hers flaring every time Gabriel tried to do something stupid.

“Adrien.” she sighed.

“Please come out so I can properly hold you close.” That made him move just a little, but he still seemed reluctant to leave.

Marinette walked forward and propped Adrien’s body up into a sitting position before sliding into his lap and wrapping his hands around herself. “I’m gonna just enjoy this hug on my own then.”

 _That_ got him out. Instead of leaving through the door though, she felt him seep through her skin, going through her back, and sinking immediately into his own chest.

Her lantern faded and now she only had her own stomach again, but her energy dropped dramatically. 

His body shuddered around her and then his grip returned and she wasn’t just sitting there with him behind her, now she was properly being hugged.

Marinette _melted_ into the hold.

Adrien’s eyes fluttered open tiredly, but stayed half lidded.

“Dang, it’s super exhausting being back.” He said and Marinette had to laugh. 

“I’m sure.” 

“I’m gonna fall asleep at this rate.” He nuzzled the back of her head. Plagg began to purr and Marinette remembered the ring on her finger.

She slid it off and slipped it onto Adrien’s, the ring changing shape to fit magically. She lightly patted where it sat. That’s where it ought to be.

Marinette enjoyed the sound of heartbeats filling the room that had felt so vacant without them the night before.

The raven haired girl yawned and settled into her spot with Adrien as his head sunk.

Then Adrien moved so that they were laying down and Marinette whined because she’d _just_ settled. Adrien laughed, she huffed, but she snuggled close to him nonetheless, and soon was fast asleep.

<◉>

Sabine and Tom had checked over every news channel out there and still hadn’t seen anything of their daughter, nor the akuma for that matter. They also made sure to call the Lahiffe’s and Cesaire’s to check if it’d be okay for Alya and Nino to stay again.

They had ran up to Marinette’s room when they’d seen the ladybugs, but she still wasn’t back. Before heading back downstairs, they made sure to leave the light on for when their baby girl returned.

At the very least they knew that Ladybug had defeated Jack-o-lantern and the kids were now back. Now they just had to wait for her to come home.

They sat on the couch anxiously awaiting their daughter’s arrival, but they’d been stressed all day. Not only were they worried about their daughter, but they had to keep Gina from going up to check on her and Adrien because the last she’d seen of them, they went to Marinette’s room. They were exhausted, running on fumes, and it was far later than they usually went to bed as bakers do. They might have to stay closed tomorrow even though the holiday ends tonight. So they began to nod off.

The next thing either of them remembered was a loud thump, a knock to the wall from the guest room. Gina had always been a bit of a rough sleeper having so much energy all the time. They often wondered where she got it since she never really seemed to have an off switch.

Then they realized they’d fallen asleep.

WIth a start, they dashed up to their daughter’s room and when they opened the trap door… there she was, snuggled into Adrien’s side on the chaise.

Sabine and Tom sighed in relief before quietly entering the room.

They neared their daughter with smiles, Sabine sneakily shot a photo before Tom gently lifted both of them to the bed above -Sabine taking more pictures that were just for herself and Tom and not the scrapbook- before kissing Marinette’s forehead followed by Sabine who finally put down the camera. “Goodnight sweetheart.”

Sabine dragged a mattress up to Marinette’s room, ashamed to not have thought of it before, and had Tom lift Alya and Nino before they laid the two down on it, careful of the kwamis. 

Alya and Nino, after being moved, shifted around a bit before they found one another and snuggled close like Marinette and Adrien. 

It was with a smug grin that she took another picture to add to the scrapbook, this one the first one to not have either Marinette or Adrien in it, but she thought that her kids would appreciate the teasing material.

After another look to their daughter, they flipped the light off and finally went to bed in their own room.

<◉>

It’d been about a month. 

The cool of winter had set in and Marinette was glad that Adrien had become a permanent presence within their household.

Christmas would come soon.

Though usually a case may take longer to go through than just a month, especially with how much crap Gabriel had done and how much stuff needed to be discussed regarding the aftermath, as Gabriel had been a high ranking terrorist for the past three years give or take, his case was of utmost priority. 

Marinette had been worried about Adrien getting adopted. 

Though her parents made it well known that they would be glad to take him in, she wasn’t sure, because she was positive that she would be marrying him in the future and she didn’t know if it was allowed to marry your adoptive sibling, not to mention how weird that would be, but there weren’t many other good options out there.

He could go to his aunt’s and live with his terrible cousin, he could live with the Lahiffe’s but they didn’t have a good enough financial situation for him to stay seeing how Nino’s mom was not only single but also had recently lost her job. The woman honestly felt like she dodged a bullet being fired before this mess. She didn’t get all caught up in the legal matters. He could go to Gorilla or possibly Nathalie but the court hadn’t decided what to do with her yet and once again, Gorilla’s financial situation wasn’t currently the best. There was the Cesaires but they already had a large family. 

Really Adrien could go to any of their classmate’s families but in the end, either Adrien didn’t feel all that comfortable going with them, or there was already a situation inhibiting the adoption. Adrien didn’t really want to go with Chloe, even if she _was_ becoming a better person. In fact, when you added in trauma, how much Adrien and Marinette needed each other, and then the magical crap of it all, Marinette’s home truly was the best place to stay.

Luckily for her -or maybe not? She wasn’t really sure as it was still weird- it turned out Adrien could be adopted into their family and still later marry Marinette, so that was that and she now had a fiance.

After the court cases were settled, Adrien remembered the book and Peacock Miraculous and was therefore able to return it to Nino when Marinette was returning the Butterfly Miraculous. She eventually learned what happened to Fu, and it was sad, but she couldn’t do much about it now that it had already happened. The only thing she regretted was not being able to say goodbye.

The entire month, Marinette had been thinking about the decision she was offered by Tikki, the same with Adrien, and it seemed both Alya and Nino had asked their own kwamis about it. Though Alya and Nino had a longer life span due to being the Guardians, they too had the same choice. It was nice to know that if they all chose yes, then they’d have each other.

Things were so freaking crazy in her life, Marinette wanted to call bullcrap. 

So, that was why she was now standing outside a building, about to meet a therapist with Adrien by her side.

Nino and Alya recommended this one, it was someone that Fu had known, and though they couldn’t go in together as they needed to learn to be able to be apart, they wouldn’t be too far away from one another.

Marinette was a little nervous.

She’d never thought she’d be able to get professional help, what with being the secret heroine of Paris, but apparently, according to Nino, the people here were trusted with the secret of the Miraculous and had kept quiet for years now.

Adrien took her by the hand and gave a soft squeeze. 

Marinette looked up to see him smiling down at her and her insides felt like mush. She nodded, “Mhm.”

His smile seemed to brighten just a bit even though she knew that he was just as nervous as she was. “Then let’s go.”

They walked into Lenoir’s Psychiatrics and Therapy hand in hand, ready to begin their journey of healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >Synopsis<
> 
> Gabriel awaits Jack's return on a random residential rooftop, ecstatic that not only does he now have his hands on the Miraculous of Destruction, but Chat is dead! When she arrives, however, he is backstabbed, almost quite literally. Using the powers of destruction that comes with the Black Cat Miraculous, Jack creates a lethal vine and stabs Gabriel.  
> In his final moments, Gabriel accepts his death and is thankful that he will finally see his Emilie once again.  
> However, when his vision fades and he wakes up once more, he finds himself in his room believing Jack must have been a dream. He goes down to his atelier and further to the repository to see Emilie as per his morning routine. However when he gets there, someone has desecrated Emilie's body.  
> Gabriel wakes up and suffers from continually running back to the repository to see Emilie destroyed, eventually no longer waking up in his room, but as the person who has been desecrating Emilie.  
> Eventually, going mad and undesirous to continue doing such things to Emilie, he destroys and disables himself.
> 
> >Synopsis over<
> 
>   
> >Author's Note<
> 
> Thank you all _so much_ for going on this journey with me and reading my story! It has been an incredible experience and I am eternally grateful to everyone's support!  
> I hope you all enjoyed this lengthy chapter! I didn't really want to divide it and I wasn't quite sure where to do so, so I left it. I feel kinda bad for those who don't particularly like long chapters.  
> What did you all think of Gabriel's punishment? I wasn't sure what would get to him other than something to do with Emilie and seeing how he's crazy, it had to be extreme, and so this was born.  
> I hope you enjoyed this final chapter!  
> Any comments, questions, and feedback are loved!  
> <3 Thank you all for reading! <3 


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